Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot of this story.

I imagined the tears that filled my eyes were acid, acid that punished me for letting Thorin and his nephews die. I gulp as I stare down at them.

Kili lay in his tomb with his bow across his chest with his arm draped over it. A silver circlet lay upon his brunette locks that less than a day earlier had been soaked in his and his brother's blood. He wore a fine tunic of dark blue with a silver belt. He looked peaceful, like he had simply fallen asleep which was sadly not the case.

I had not seen how the young dwarf had died, only that the revenge-driven dwarf had hacked his way through anything that stood in his path.

Fili had died by Azog's hand, before his uncle's and my own eyes. The Dwarf Prince had been skewered above a cliff face, only to fall one Azog allowed it.

I had watched as the blond dwarf fell to the ground, out of sight.

Fili lay next to his brother in a separate casket, so they were never separated, even after death. He wore a red tunic with a gold belt and circlet that matched his hair. His arms were crossed over, each hand holding one of his twin swords. He looked equally as peaceful as his brother.

I moved closer to the casket of my king, so I was close enough to lean over the edge of the casket.

Thorin lay with his arms folded, one hand holding the hilt of Orcrist. In his other hand was it, the Arkenstone, the very thing that had destroyed Thorin's mind right down to the point where he no longer knew friend from foe. Oh how I wanted to destroy that thing, it had brought nothing by wrath and ruin in its wake.

Through tears, I rest my head on the edge of Thorin's casket, openly sobbing before his Kin. I hear shuffling from behind me before a hand comes to rest on my shoulder, pulling me back. I let out a mournful sob. "No," I mumble.

"Leave him be," I heard Balin say.

"I'm so sorry, I let you down as you are now dead and there is nothing I can do, I wish I could tell you how sorry I am," I mumble.

I felt a pair of firm hands pull me back away from Thorin.

"No. Please..." I cry to the dwarf that had pulled me away.

"I'm sorry lad; you have to let them go," Balin says.

"No..." I mumble again as Dwalin leads me out the door.

My mumbles continue until I reach my chambers. Dwalin gives me a reassuring smile before closing the door behind me.

The room is lit dimly by three candles by the bed. I smile as my eyes land on the fully stoked book shelf. I sniffle before making my way over to it. The books are all sorted into categories, ranging from gardening guides to books on creatures from far off places.

Thorin had taken the liberty of furnishing a room for me and the others in one of the few days that he could think clearly, It never lasted.

My fingers run over the binders as I decide what to read. I frown in confusion as my fingers come in contact with a loose piece of parchment that is wedged in-between two books. I pull it out carefully, before making my way over to the bed.

The parchment crackles under my fingers as I unfold it, the writing has been written in a hurry and is messy in places, but I can read it; I recognize the handwriting as well. Thorin's handwriting.

To: Bilbo Baggins.

I'm afraid.

You need to read this carefully. I'm writing this now in fear, I'm losing myself. I can feel it every passing hour. I don't know what state I will be in as you are reading this, but I pray to Mahal there is still hope to set things right.

Things are making less sense to me, sometimes I see reason and I can see what I'm becoming...but then I fall blind to gold once again. I can see clearly now, but I fear it will not last.

When I lose myself I feel cold…the only thing I can think of is finding the Arkenstone. My need for it is overpowering me, blocking my senses and making me blind to others.

My closest family have so far been the only ones able to break me from this sickness but even now they struggle. When the sickness take's its hold of me I feel anger towards them, towards Kili, towards Fili and towards Balin and Dwalin. I feel shame in being Thorin Oakenshield and not King Thorin. I almost threatened to kill today when reminded of my past life.

I fear I will be dangerous towards them when the sickness takes hold…I fear that I will harm my nephews and family. The thing that troubles me is why I don't feel anger towards you when I'm in this state.

I almost killed you in that treasury…but now you seem to be the only thing my gold sickened self will not harm. I'm confused by this…

At the beginning of this journey I regret to say I thought nothing of you, but then you showed bravery, loyalty and so many other things that I thought you not capable of. I'm sorry for treating you like something that could be thrown away. I felt something new inside me after you saved my life for the first time. I have always felt love and protection and adoration towards my family but I knew I felt a different type towards you.

I will admit I continued these emotions towards you but I fear the gold sickness if twisting these emotions, turning them into something horrid. When I'm…sick…I still feel protectiveness adoration and love towards you but it is the same way I love, adore and protect the Arkenstone. In my gold sickness state I will show these emotions towards you but not in the way you deserve. I feel the need to isolate and protect you from others in fear of them…stealing you. I adore you for the same reasons I adore the Arkenstone.

I beg you to understand I do not feel this way towards you in my normal state. When I'm…me, I wish to protect you from being harmed by foul creatures, not friends and family. I wish to teach you how to use a sword properly so you can protect yourself. I wish for you to teach me the value of your home, comfort and the trees you're so fond of. The Thorin you know admires your bravery and loyalty and your willingness to put up with the stubbornness of dwarves who are too blind to see past appearances and notice what counts. I, well, I hope to tell you this if I ever survive this curse.

No matter how much my sickened self isolates you I want you to resist. No matter how much I try to keep you to myself I want you to escape. No matter how threatening I am to others I want you to remember Thorin Oakenshield.

Please, I beg of you, try to reason with me but do not put yourself in danger of me.

Thorin Oakenshield.

I let the letter fall from my hands…I had failed him. A small cry escapes my lips as I bury my head into my arms and cried. I think about what Thorin wrote, about the differences between his emotions. About what emotions he felt.

A painful doubt stabs inside me as my hand closes around the acorn in my pocket. Was that real? What that Thorin Oakenshield that had smiled so fondly at me or was it the gold sickness? Was the Mithril a gift from genuine concern or was it simply the protection of one's possession?

Was it real?

I lay my head back against the cushions and close my eyes, tears still falling.

My eyes snap open to the sound of rattling. I let out sound of confusion as I sit upright. Everything in my room seems to be rattling and bits of furniture are bobbing around the air. I let out a whimper as I shuffle myself to the headboard of the bed. I must be going mad.

"Don't tell me you're afraid of ghosts Master Boggins," a familiar but dead voice says from nowhere.

I let out a whimper as I realize who the voice belongs too. "Kili?" I ask, trying to identify where the voice came from.

"Yes," answer's a voice from my left.

I turn my head the left in fear only to have my eyes greeted by the sight of Kili making giggling noises. I scream as my eyes try to register what they are seeing.

"You alright there Bilbo?" asks another familiar voice from my right.

I let out another scream as my eyes land on a ghostly looking Fili who is currently sitting crossed legged by my right side, twirling a knife in his right hand.

Oh, dear. They're going to kill me. I let them die and now they're going to kill me. I think to myself as I stare at the knife.

"That's enough, you two," says a deep voice from across the room.

I curl in on myself as start mumbling things.

"Oh god."

"I'm sorry."

"I didn't want you to die."

"I'm sorry I let you die."

"Please don't kill me."

"I'm sorry."

"I didn't intend on betraying you."

"Don't kill me please."

"I'm sorry."

A cold but surprisingly soft hand comes to rest on my shoulder. I can't help but flinch away from the ghostly hand. I look up at the pale face of Thorin. He looks concerned.

Thorin moves his hand back to my shoulder, this time I don't flinch away. "We do not wish to kill you Bilbo Baggins, we only wish to see you," says Thorin, moving his hand to my back comfortingly.

"I betrayed you, I let you die," I mumble.

"No you didn't Bilbo," says Kili, concern in his voice.

"Kili is right; you did not fail me, if anything you saved me. It is not your fault I died," Thorin pauses and glances at the letter that is still discarded on the bed. I watch as he folds in up and places it on the bedside table.

"My nephews and I have been forced to stay here as spirits as I was meant to rebuild Erebor...and rule it. Fili and Kili would have succeeded me but never got the chance," He finishes.

I nod in understanding. "How come you can touch me and I can touch you?" I ask curiously.

"Ghosts can allow physical touch to anything they wish," answers Thorin.

"You are worse than Kili flirting with Tauriel," says Fili, giving an amused look.

Thorin gives Kili a look.

"Thorin I can explain," Kili pleads.

"I'll talk to you later," says Thorin sternly before pulling me into a tight hug.

Fili and Kili then join into this hug I assume as my ribs feel like they're going to crack.

"Are you going to leave me," I ask sadly.

"Never," answers all three of the dwarves in sync.

"Can anyone else see you?" I ask, pulling away from the embrace.

"Only those that we allow," answers Thorin, pulling me into yet another hug.

I smile before finding myself falling asleep in their arms.

"I think I could get quite used to this," I say before drifting off to sleep.

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