This story was absolutely amazing, it's only your grammar that made me cringe and didn't let me read this story as smoothly as I desired which is a pretty big bummer. Though, I really, really like this story. I actually want more from this, but sometimes even if you desire it, you don't need more. Your theme was superb and I wished I could've gotten more out of it (by more I mean, more paragraphs and in depth - though not excessively - writing), I just really love this story. You were really able to capture the emotion and made me feel immensely. For example: Wow, Cross' death just hit me out of nowhere and so suddenly. I felt kind of a pain in my heart from that. I really like Cross. A close second was Lenalee's backstory, though I wish that you mentioned Komui a little since he plays a bigger role in her life than their parents ever did in canon, but it is your story. Your writing has potential, if only you just edited.

BRAVO!

Y'know what?I'm crying...I'm crying T_T

This was nice and I liked the plot _ Good job!

This was simple but brilliant. I envy your creativity, I really do. I read lines over and over again just repeating images in my mind, it was so nostalgic. I'm understanding these emotions and they're really simple though it can't be put into direct words but you conveyed them well and that's what writing is about.

Becareful with how you use tenses though. You also could have gone into more detail if you wanted to as well but maybe I just didn't want the story to end just yet. The formatting and paragraphing could use a little work but it didn't bother me at all because the story was wonderful!

I liked.

1 to 100.

I give 1000

Thanks for Fic

this is actually a great story. Glad i'm first to review it. Keep writing and never stop.