Love the three little piggies side reference! It has a scary tune, and I worry for the future of our hero. Let it turn for the better, and the hero dominate.

I also have a theory that the evil being might be the disembodied wall of flesh, and as it loses it's limbs, and it's minions fail it, it becomes the wall of flesh. A wall of death and possibly the remains of other heroes.

great story, keep it up!

I have always found the guide creepy, he is there the moment you start the game, he knows everything going on in the world somehow, and for some reason a demon is carrying a voodoo doll of him in hell that summons a wall of flesh when it is thrown into lava killing the guide. And then another guide comes along randomly, and before he comes the rest of the NPC's somehow know his name.

Ok... good start but your punctuation and tenses are all messed up. I hope if you edit for me you won't fail at it :)

A extremely inspiring chapter, Also very exciting. I know there are many more chapters, but I just want you to know you are one hell of a author!

*Sets her grammar hammer down and makes an annoyed face* This story is weird. Not to say it is not good, it is just... weird. It reads like the journal of some one long departed. The grammar is all muddled but it is really hard to fix because of the way the story flows... like a journal. I guess I will try and help with what I can easily pin-point.

"When I was practicing with them, The Guide with a bow and a quiver of arrows on her back, a musket in her hands, Namine with a tomb for Water Bolt behind her back, I felt sudden horror rush through me."

Spelling Error: I think you meant tome not 'tomb'

There so many comas that this sentence seems to have way to much information packed into it, but it flows like your main character's thought pattern... so... yeah...

"She must of taken a terrible sting, or poison, from a monster."

Fragment: This sentence does not really have a verb. If you change 'of' to 'have' or "must of" to "must've" this sentence will be fine.

"they hadn't been scared before we fought or in the battle either"

I think this phrase would be better worded 'they hadn't been scared before or during the battle'

Basically the 'either' in this phrase is useless.

Again this was a hard story to review, because of the flow.

As for the good points to this story, I like your characters. They are generally like-able, but you put a lot of work into them. It shows. They are heartfelt humans and if one of them were to die; your fans would shed some tears. The plot line (as far as I can tell) is the simple Terraria: "Do whatever the heck you want" plot line. Simple plot lines are often great because it seems closer to home for most of us. Helps us identify with the characters, even if we don't get to "do whatever the heck we want."

Remember, I hate cuz I love.

PM Nesselde to yell at me. (People don't yell at me often, wonder why.)

-Love and thorns

Ivy Rose Thorn

Ssorry for not reviewing earlyer I have been trying to write new chapters for all my storys and prepare for the finals. I am liking your new stylee of writing but I don't think that you should block yourself off completly from other athors because you could find a writing style you like and blend it in with your own. Sorry for any spelling errosrs but I'm really busy right now Kitty

Well! I love this so much! Carry on with the good work!

Well! I love this so much! Carry on with the good work!

This is a nice filler chapter, or that's what I like to call chapters like these and now tha u mentionedit I woender if the guide has any other talents. I would try out the link but I'm on my phone which hates me when it comes to copy and paste so ill try to look it up next time I have a computer within reach. Oh and yes I'm the kind of person u can count on to review every chapter on a story I like and am following. -Kitty

No parinoia?...fine. for now. Anyways I guess I could say I'm happy with the outcome because unless I'm reading wrong this is a romance with a female version of the guide and there is nothing that I love more to do with my precious oc's is to mess with their love life, which means now there is another human on the island against the odds and it just happens to be a girl I expect great things from this story. Will semi-paticentally wait for more -Kitty

Choice a because this story is awesome and I want him to have more friends :D

I'm tempted to choose choice b because she could become your frein later on which means she is strong despite her apperance or it might be nice to have a innocent looking monster hanging around that may cause some people to devolop parinoia. I do not reccomend splitting this story thoug that can make things really bumpy. Anyways I'm looking forward to seeing which path this story chooses. Btw thanks for the shout out -Kitty

Woot~690 words. Anyways sry bout not reviewing earlier ive nern rather lazy with reviewing lately. Its a good story so far but guided explanstion of things got me confused but then again its 1:33 right now and im on my pjone so im a little outta it. Back on subject I will be following from now on and will attempt to review more. As fot me I will now sleep later~Kitty

oh please please please keep writing! it is such an amazingly writen peice and I cant wait for the next instalment.. so it better come... but i wanted to add to try and write more at one time eg. longer chapters. Apart from that, AWESOME! you deserve a high five! :D