This chapter truly captures the giant blocks of unreadable texts and bad capitalization. I can feel my eyes physically trying to pull away from reading it, and my fingers were ready to scroll down faster than they have ever before. I have never truly felt a reaction as strong as this one.

Just reading the first paragraphs of these makes me feel like I grew a brain tumor. My eyes are watering and I can’t stop crying. I can’t stop chanting “ No “, “ Oh my god “, “ Stop “, “ Jesus Christ “. I am holding a very strong urge to scream and destroy everything in my way of my fit of rage.

Mary Sues are truly, radioactive waste that is eating away at my lifespan.

Elements of Cringe #1: Mary Sues...

On getting a coronary after reading a paragraph or two of the popstar bs in the first chapter I skipped the balderdash orgy and went through the actual author's notes to regain my sanity. I congratulate you on a job too well done.

Ebony Ravenway? Is that supposed to be a reference to My Immortal?

Uhhh so I was not intially planning to review, but this. This chapter.

Well, the rest of the Mary Sues are bad, but this really irked me.

I almost threw my Kindle through the window at the Stue's description, and I almost did again upon reading the first couple lines. The huge ego it takes to capitalize every "he" like referring to God (big G) makes me kinda ill. And the writing is so painfully pretentious...

But what really gets me mad is the fact that I can see this story, with a few tweaks, getting publshed. Gary Stues are not necessarily rare as much as they are more accepted, which is a not so great double standard.

And Hinata's not a butterfly… Besides the fact that comparison is horribly cliche and seems to imply weakness and an inability to defend one's self, she's honestly more like a cuttlefish. Shy and curious, but deadly if provoked or threatened. (Also prone to change colors.)

Kenzie Perth out.

To Storm: It was too professionallllll!I think you kinda forgot that you were writing as a 14 yo. and when you realised it,it was too late xD

To RainBitch: HOW CAN A FUCKIN NINJA HOE LIKE YOU FROM SUNA ACTUALLY COME FROM MIST?HUH?PLAN YOUR STUPID FUCKEN STORY FIRST BEFORE YOU EVEN UPLOAD THIS STUPID WASTE OF TIME!THIS IS A FUCKIN IDIOTIC STORY MADE BY A WEE LITTLE BITCH LIKE YOU!GO BACK TO KINDERGARTEN

Ok then,finished my first ever flame!~Thanks Storm :)

R.I.P.
HERE LIES THE FAMILY CAT THAT WAS RUTHLESSLY MURDERED ALONG WITH AN ENTIRE COUNTRY. MINUS ONE SPECIAL TEENAGE KUNOICHI.

This ain't even close to the pathetic things one can find on this site. For a Mary Sue, she was, I'd say about a 6. And you're attempt at poor grammer wasn't really that poor, ya know, cuz there's much, much worse writing you can see here. And sadly not every one of those writers is a 12 year old.

I continually made a noise throughout this chapter that sounded like I was getting ready to cry.

I think the funniest part of it is that the author gives away one of the biggest plot twists in their own note. like great. now nobody really wants to keep reading

Nah, it's alright. There's a guy who is in 20s wrote his youtube account with 98 behind the alphabets. People won't judge you for it, don't worry.

This succesfully pissed me off.

It's my habit to be polite, so I can't really do it. Also, there's probably some 14 or 15 year that writes well enough. All the fic I read from them are the characters only, without an OC being the main lead. They're good.

... Thank you for calling me, a 14 year old, a noob author