Wow! That was an amazing,right on the money glimpse into a part of the early times in the Winchester saga. A rarely told story that I for one have always wondered about! Thank you! You got Missouri down to a tee. Loved the 3 POV's!

"This is a deciding moment – a turning point in this tiny child's life. This is the moment when I see him embracing destiny, violence and death sidling up next to him to take him into a cold embrace. The blood rushes from my toes to my brain, flushing hotly through my ears, and I hear with spine-chilling clarity the sound of lips against the unsuspecting child's forehead. The kiss of death. . .

The young father is oblivious, too proud of his brave young son for embracing the life about to be thrust upon him to notice that he's just condemned them all. He's too absorbed in the cherub-faced infant in his arms, whose sweet innocence I see being burned away by years of prolonged exposure to hardship, evil, and death.

Death which I now see chases all three remaining Winchesters like a spurned lover."

Wow, wow, WOW! This is incredibly powerful writing. I read and reread this passage over and over again, savoring it like fine wine. Thank you for the gift of this story. It moved me.

Why aren't you writing FF anymore? You should share such talent!

OK, seriously? It's been several hours since I finished reading "Silence, Swill and Screams" and I am STILL reeling from your artistry in writing. When I finished, I walked around my house feeling shell shocked and with goosebumps running up & down my arms. I came back to read your words THREE times, and I am STILL blown away!

"This is a deciding moment – a turning point in this tiny child's life. This is the moment when I see him embracing destiny, violence and death sidling up next to him to take him into a cold embrace. The blood rushes from my toes to my brain, flushing hotly through my ears, and I hear with spine-chilling clarity the sound of lips against the unsuspecting child's forehead. The kiss of death.

And little baby Sammy chooses that moment to gurgle loudly, squealing something incomprehensible but undoubtedly very important and kicking his chubby legs wildly in his father's arms. John grins, warm and wide and grateful. It's jarring to me, the sudden yank of the present moment tugging at my apron strings, drawing me back to the now in the face of what I've seen, what I've just learned. The young father is oblivious, too proud of his brave young son for embracing the life about to be thrust upon him to notice that he's just condemned them all. He's too absorbed in the cherub-faced infant in his arms, whose sweet innocence I see being burned away by years of prolonged exposure to hardship, evil, and death.

Death which I now see chases all three remaining Winchesters like a spurned lover."

Did you win this contest? Because you definitely SHOULD have! I have read ALL of the Supernatural books that have been published and they were awful, a waste of time. But this? Your story? THIS deserves to be published.

Please keep writing for us! This is AMAZING. THANK YOU!

"This is a deciding moment – a turning point in this tiny child's life. This is the moment when I see him embracing destiny, violence and death sidling up next to him to take him into a cold embrace. The blood rushes from my toes to my brain, flushing hotly through my ears, and I hear with spine-chilling clarity the sound of lips against the unsuspecting child's forehead. The kiss of death. . . The young father is oblivious, too proud of his brave young son for embracing the life about to be thrust upon him to notice that he's just condemned them all. He's too absorbed in the cherub-faced infant in his arms, whose sweet innocence I see being burned away by years of prolonged exposure to hardship, evil, and death.

Death which I now see chases all three remaining Winchesters like a spurned lover."

Wow, wow, WOW! These are such powerfully written words that when I read them I felt as though I had been actually kicked in the stomach. I read and reread these lines over & over, savoring them like fine wine.

Not many authors have the ability to write such powerful images. You are a gifted author.

Thank you for the gift of these words. I will treasure them.

Oh man. This was so great!I mean that's...that's so damn tragic and so breathtaking...I had tears in my eyes and at the end I couldn't stop them 'S all so authentic and so...I really could imagine all could really happen like this in the show. This cute little silent wee!Dean is so...heartbreaking and it's so tragic to read how he embraces his new life, the loss of his innocence and all. And I am really impressed by the POV-thingy. Dean's POV was so child - like and fitting, and so was John's. Oh and Missouri *lol* She noticed Dean's hair and said he looks goofy *lol* I remember that line in "Home"...*sighs* Despite all the tragic and sadness, You let Missouri bring some humor in - and Dean too in some twisted kind of way, thinking 'fat lady' and all *lol*

Very very well done, I'm impressed and blown away!

Wow. I'm terrible at these reviews, but this was so sad and yet so very heartwarming at the same time.

I especially loved the Dean/Missouri interactions. And this: "Winchesters don’t cry,’ I hear the boy chastising himself even as his heart sobs brokenly. ‘I won’t cry but Daddy please don’t leave me and Sammy! Don’t go back there where Mommy got killeded!"

I'm going to go off and read the rest of your stories soon!

'No way am I going to scuttle over to the door like some kind of jumped up fangirl.'

I do that whenever Jensen stops by for beer and pizza. That happens every night, natch.

This:

'John Winchester hasn’t come to commune with his dead wife or to find out if she was cheatin’ on him while she was alive. Oh no. He wants to know how that pretty woman ended up on the ceiling. He wants to know who – or what – put her there.'

And this:

‘Oh John,’ I think sadly, knowing that this is the first of many lies to come – all in the name of keeping his boys safe.'

Oh... the seeds of John's quest for revenge are sown.

And this:

'This is a deciding moment – a turning point in this tiny child’s life. This is the moment when I see him embracing destiny, violence and death sidling up next to him to take him into a cold embrace. The blood rushes from my toes to my brain, flushing hotly through my ears, and I hear with spine-chilling clarity the sound of lips against the unsuspecting child’s forehead. The kiss of death.'

Oh... so beautiful and disturbing - and sad.

;-)

'God forgive me, I yelled at him to stop his damned cryin’. Winchesters don’t cry, Dean! Your mother’s gone. She’s not coming back!

...At the time I was disgustingly relieved, thinking I’d finally shut him up.

Now three months later he hasn’t said a fucking word. Not one...'

Oh no! Oh, Dean... Oh, John... [and that last one is a first for me!]

'Dean eases himself silently into the Impala and leans over to peer down at his baby brother in his car seat. Sam blinks up at him, his button nose crinkling as he bestows on his big brother a dimpled, gummy smile. I watch intently as Dean’s solemn face twitches at the corners of his mouth, and I think a hint of his angelic smile has just peeked out. I’d give anything to see him smile again.'

I really love the thought that the very profound bond between Dean and Sam might have started now, when both of them were using looks and gestures to communicate - Dean because he was mute and Sam because he was a baby...

Oh this is beautiful!

This:

'I wonder what I did to make her not want to come back.'

And this:

'I wonder what I did to make her not want to come back.'

And this:

'I should probably tell Daddy that the Fire Man knew my name and said ‘hello’ but I don’t wanna in case he gets mad at me. He gets real mad sometimes when he’s drinking his whiskey and then sometimes he breaks stuff and cries and says he’s sorry Mary and ‘get to bed, Dean!’ and I bet he’d be sure mad if I told him this. ‘You gotta look after Sammy’ he tells me, every day, and I think it’s probably my fault now that Mommy burned up because I wasn’t looking after Sammy when the Fire Man came. I was trying to hide under my covers when I was s’posed to get a grown-up.'

So terribly sad. But you are so clever, dude, because I sat here thinking what a frakking awful dad JW was, how Wee!Dean was obviously too scared to tell him how he felt... but then you come in at the end with this:

“God, Dean,” he whispers in my hair. “I miss you, kiddo. I know you’re in there somewhere.”

And then it hit me that of course this is Mute!Dean... he can't tell John. And John probably is desperate for his boy to speak to him... so all broken-hearted and teary now.

And *gots* to say that this: 'I gots to...' really grabbed me in the heart too because it's exactly what my 5-y-o son says!

And that was the cherry on top, sugar! I've never seen an interpretation of John's visit to Missouri and this was fantastic. A on all counts.

Oh, baby. This one was even better! John yelling at Dean and THAT being what sent him into silence. How god awful. My favorite line was when John said when Dean looked at him it was like he was looking "for" him.

You have outdone yourself.

Okay, this was AMAZING! The part about a "new daddy took his place." That must have been what it felt like. And I like what you added about Azazel coming in the see Dean. Brilliant. You had the 4 yr old voice down perfect.

Now, this chapter absolutely brought tears to my eyes. Missouri seeing the hurt and tragic events folding through Dean's thoughts and John's. When John realized that Dean did see what happened to his mother, it floored me. I like how Dean's innocent and childlike view of Missouri comes back to smack Dean in the face in Season 1. Very well done! Missouri's view of their destiny was quite sad, especially Dean and Sammy's. Excellent POV's.

John's POV here is just about as tragic as Dean's. It was heart wrenching to read that John was in part responsible for Dean shutting everything out and going mute for months. Excellent!

Dean's POV here is very child like in a way a child sees the world. You did a very good job in showing a 4 year's old world being rocked by evil. It gave me the chills that the YED visited Dean in his room. So sad that Dean thinks it's his fault that his mommy is never coming home.