Actually, this story *does* seem to go somewhere, metaphorically as well as literally, but it doesen't quite match up to your skill in the other stories, namely, The Gift and Tattoo. The plot as well as the events are highly enjoyable and avoid being forced or strained, but, to my observation, there seems to be a slight tweaking of their( Robin and Amon's) characters. What I mean to say is, they are not quite what I initially thought them to be like. But, then again, it *is* my singular opinion, and you *may* feel differently.

Secondly (this relies heavily on the fist point) I believe that Amon is more *apt* at repressing and controlling his emotions ( and hormones). Though I presume this to be a light take on AxR romance,I wanted Amon to be, well, to let in a cliche, *more in character*. Though the scene with the Rev. Mother *was* a laugh riot, and highly entertaining, it showed up Amon's weakness of resolve and a gradual diminishing of his alacrity and sangfroid in answering questions ( which were, no doubt, insinuations). I, being a loyal Amon fangirl, thought that it somehow didn't blend in. Don't mind, btw.

Robin is sensual. Show it. Not with her speechless rapture while sipping a *sinful* beverage, but in a more subtle manner, which nonetheless shows her sensual nature. The first thing that struck me about Robin, on watching the series, was, that she is an incredibly sensual creature. Her movements, manner of speaking, manner of holding herself- all correspond to a certain image of intrinsic and implicit sensuality. Somehow, I feel that black suits her better. Wearing pink doesen't make her mature.

This story deserves to be completed. So go ahead and finish it. If you are not satisfied with it, change entire scenarios. But try and work on this plot.

I like this story, and I'm curious to see where it will go. I haven't actually finished watching Witch Hunter Robin (unfortunately, forced to resort to online videos, though I want to buy the DVD.) Still, I know all that happens in the series - read the episode guide in an issue of Anime Insider, a magazine I used to subscribe to. At the time, it just sounded like an awesome show, and it wasn't on television and I figured like many anime that sound great, I'd never see it.

'Course, that turned out to not be true. Ohh well.

I always sort of pictured Amon and Robin as having some connection, with not an actual romantic connection but like... the connection leading up to that point in their relationship. Just certain ways they would act or react to things seemed to insinuate it COULD be taken in that direction. That's why I was interested in checking out some Witch Hunter Robin fanfiction and, as a result, this is the first one I have chose to read.

I can understand it being difficult to get the story where you want it to go. Did you happen to just sort of go with the flow while writing, or did you have a plan for what would happen in the story before? I normally go with the flow, but I always end up having problems if I do. Planning seems to be the way to go with stories, which shouldn't be surprising and yet still isn't easy to do.

It's hard for me to say whether you kept Robin and Amon in character, because as you mentioned Robin has matured in this story and is different. Though she still may brood over things in her mind, it's no longer the first thing you expect when seeing her. When I get further in the series (actual watching-wise), I may be able to tell you if they seem in character. So far, considering the situation, they seem as if they are. I'm only on episode seven (well, finished episode seven) so I haven't actually seen the future dialogue between them. I just happen to know everything that happens :/

I like the way you describe things in your writing. It's not too much at once, where the reader finds themselves getting bored (examples of this could be anything by Anne Rice or J.R.R Tolkien, both popular writers but both horribly guilty of going on for what seems like forever on detail, some of which aren't always that important and just tend to get boring.) with what they're reading, but enough to give a reader the idea of what the surrounding environment and setting is for the particular chapter.

Though I understand if you aren't able to, what with being a bit stuck with this story, I really hope you update soon. If you don't/can't, there's no hard feelings. It was enjoyable enough the first three chapters :) :)

- Jess.

PLEASE UPDATE!

very interesting...i hope to read more...ja ne

Wow .

Ah, can you update, please? It sounds so much fun!

I must say, I am incredibly delighted to have discovered such a wonderful author like you. All WHR fics! Can you say heaven? *grin* I agree that WHR was left hanging, even with the scene at the end of credits. Your writing style is excellent, not OOC and with almost flawless grammar. You seem to have a special talent here.

I read your other fic, The Gift a few months back, and found it very good. I liked it so much that the moment I saw Fractured with the author Claire Jones, I knew I just had to read it. I really am looking forward to the following chapters. :)

I personally don't think that there are too many descriptives-they add lovely detail to the story and are a great help with the imagination part. I was able to visualize the chateau and characters (not to mention their outfits) quite clearly.

Please do continue this one. It had such a good start, it would be a waste to just leave it. I don't really mind if it takes a while-I'll be reading your other fics in the meantime. This one is starting to be a favorite, though. ;)

Keep up the great work! Good luck with your writing, too. :)

Cammy

I really hope you don't stop this story! I like it a lot so far. The coffee bit was my favorite part of this chapter. I hope you'll update again soon!

No, don't stop! This is really really good, I'm a huge fan! Please do keep writing, I'm really enjoying your story so far! Your writing is very nice and well put together, I don't think you're overdoing the adverbs or anything. Please write more!

I love the tension at the beginning. And the coffee scene...*Laughs* Pure evil on Amon's part. I've been through the whole abstaining from caffeine for a long time situation like Robin, and it's such a struggle when you do get offered your *ahem* formerly favorite beverage...and, like Robin, I gave in, lol.

I was a little surprised at Amon's levity (not quite sure that's the word I really want, but it'll do), though, in a way. However, considering he seems to be more in contact with Nagira, and definitely lived around Robin before leaving her at the chateau...I can see it being possible.

Oh Amon, what emotions you feel :D

I love the coffee scene, and I can't wait to see where this goes!

Take care, and continue it to the end! I will surely be following.

From Yours Truly

nice.. love the story.. please continue...

oh, I can't wait to see what happens next. lol, poor Amon

Lolly, Lolly, Lolly, get your adverbs here... Sorry, I couldn't help it. But it was a good chapter. You're doing well with the pacing and it seems to be moving along well. Amon seems a little OOC here, if only for his wandering mind and nervousness. There's a lightness to his character that feels a little alien for him. Otherwise things are good. I like it a lot.

wowowowow...