Overall, the thing I love best about this story is the complexity of the characters, particularly the Exile. Her characterization is fluid, which is more than appropriate for someone who has been trhough so much and for whom you are showing such a long span of time. I also love that her personality seems to change slightly depending on to whom she's talking. That's accurate and real and makes her seem much more three-dimensional. It's hard to do, and I think there are a few places where the shifting back and forth in time causes the characterization to seem a little off (e.g., she's so shy as a child and I think that carries over well into a sort of quiet introversion as an adult, but she seems much more forceful around Atton, which I could believe if I had a bit more idea of the development that she's gone through), but overall I think you do a really good job. And it's definitely worth the effort.

I think you're really great at details that breathe life into the characters. I loved that Atton couldn't keep up with her when they were running back to the Hawk. In fact, that whole scene was very well-executed. I could picture him stopping to rest, Bao-Dur with the blaster, and Disciple's shock. I think you got better at this as the story progressed. At first I felt there was a bit too much exposition, like you were telling the reader things rather than trusting them to figure them out on their own (e.g., telling us who the Exile was or how she felt about Revan rather that letting us make our own conclusions from their actions), but I think you moved past that as you got deeper into the story. There were also a few (very few) places where I felt a slight shift in perspective-a character besides the Exile feeling something or noticing something. Again, this seemed to fade as the story progressed.

I love the relationships in the story, which ties back into the complexity of the characterization. You've given all of the characters, including Kavar, a depth that starts with the game personalities and then moves on to a deeper, but still believable, place. I loved when he was angry about everyone expecting him to go to war. I loved that the Exile wasn't entirely comfortable with the crew and kept some distance from them. I loved the different scenes among the group of friends (Jene, Revan, etc.) as they grew older, culminating in the final confrontation.

And oy! What a cliffhanger! You are EVUL!

Anyway, good stuff. Jumping into "Foresight."

I really liked this story. Now I'm going to run off and do a bunch of fanart for it. I've been dying to do some kavar/exile pictures and now I have the inspiration for it. If you want to look at them when they are finally posted it'll be on dracotelitha. But this really is an awesome story. It's one thing to play the game, it's quite another to read it out and on that 3rd chapter you had him say defeated instead of deafened. He definitely said deafened. I'm hoping you'll make a sequel because that whole “Space it, you guys have incredible timing.” is just plan evil. Please do finish this.

This is the best KOTOR related story I've read since I found this site. It was so good, I had to join just to tell you that.

I loved the characterisation of them as youngsters and the bit when the Exile turns from Revan was really quite heartbreaking.

Keep it up.

DAMMIT Anyways...about the Atton quotes:

That description of the cantina- so Atton-y lol I love it. And the taking her hand thing, aw- I can so see him doing that.

LOL Jene's reply to Visas's repeating line 'o doom, nice- and I love Atton's reactions to the dancing outfit. Well written K2 is so hard to find...

I like Jene/Kavar. So bittersweet, especially the end. And I absolutely love the epilogue. I hope Anamnesis comes soon. Until then I'll just stalk RP!Dustil, heh. Nice job!

I love your Revan lol she's such a smart-aleck. That engine story killed me as well as making fun of Jedi Guardian Malak, heh.

*gasp* Kavar is in this story? What a SURPRISE...

he he. Good Kavar- 'bemused' I think is the perfect adjective for him. All the scenes of daily life in the Jedi Order are really nice- they have the teasing and crushing and scrapes that normal kids that age get into, and realism makes the story that much better. Nice job!

Atton waved her off, “I told you the smell got bad, but no… over there with the,” he had a feral smile, “glow of adulterous red light, bathed in the sweet nectar of the juma and loose women all around, is the Cantina.”There was a silence for a moment before Atton rose from his chair and offered her his hand. She eyed it warily for a moment, the gesture, especially from Atton, completely foreign to her. If he were the Disciple, perhaps he would have retracted his hand, but Atton was anything but the mild-tempered Jedi waiting on the ship. He grabbed her hand and lifted her up.

I like the story, especailly the flashbacks to Revan and such as, and so forth. The dancing part, both in the flashback and Nar Shaddaa was hilarious. There's good humor and the characters are well connected too - good all around!

~ The Lady Revan ~

Ooh! Will this continue with your next fic you were talking about?If it is I can't wait _ Great JOB!

Nice work. I think the strongest bits of this story are the Kavar/Exile pieces, mostly because of the powerful conflict between the two of them (he betrays her three times!). I didn't quite understand why everyone was finding Kavar so appealing, but now I get it.

Can't wait to see the next story...

great story

omg! reven's back! I just finished it and this fic was grreat! more? soon? please? i really love your styel!

omg! reven's back! I just finished it and this fic was grreat! more? soon? please? i really love your styel!

hehe, great fic...even da smut! ehehe...r u sure it was supposed to be pg13?

Oh! Things are starting to get more interesting now. I like how this is going. I am looking forward to Foresight. Keep up the great work Arrow!

i read this on lj the other day and absolutly loved it! Good job, I can't wait to read the next one!

Not to sound ungrateful for an awsome story... but couldn't you make one thats over 10 chapters and quite large. this story kicks ass.