Really the shitty kitty we always got the horrible details

Thank you for writing.

I am enjoying the fic. Thank you for writing

That was utterly amazing. I LOVED it.

Thank you so much for sharing. You are quite talented. Well done!

his

I’m very cautious about this story. I like the crossover but this chapter was frankly cringeworthy. ‘Oh come see my grandmother’ and so on

Nice start to the fic.

Very good story I really enjoyed it keep up the good work.

This was a truly awesome and epic story. It is probably the best epic I’ve ever read.

I don’t really think the end was all that rushed. I think it fit well with th story. If you want to add more to the ending, the think about having: Dumbledore’s thoughts included, what is going with the Wesaly’s, what happened when the news of Harry and Hermione’s death is reported at Hogwarts, what were the teachers and the various students reactions to the news of not just the their deaths, but them both getting the Order of Merlin 1st class.

Just few ideas if you really want flesh out the ending a bit. Have to admit that I would kind of curious myself.

Thank you for sharing this story and your talent for writing.

An interesting story quite apart from the usual.

I do not think the ending was rushed, everything was in place once Lily revealed herself. Anything longer would have actually seemed drawn out instead.

Thank you for writing,

Ron

Bit of an oops here:
From chapter 3: "...the sea rushed in to fill the hollowed-out crater and sheer, glowing walls that alone remained where the infamous prison once stood..."
From this chapter: "...if it had been up to him I would've been sent back to Azkaban..."

Kind of hard to send someone to a place that no longer exists.

In addition I got the impression that all the dementors were in Azkaban when it was destroyed. Also difficult to administer a dementor's kiss if you no long have any dementors. :-)

Thank you for writing,

Ron

Thank you for posting this story. I found it an enjoyable read. I have wondered from time to time what a crossover between Harry Potter and the Cthulhu mythos would look like, but somehow I imagined it like Harry within the frame of a Lovecraft style story. The idea a Harry Potter story with Nyarlathotep crawling around the edges never occurred to me.

It was nice seeing some of Lovecraft's denizens of nightmare making appearances Shoggoths, and the Deep Ones, though I think you borrowed the cthonians from Brian Lumley. I'm glad the Crawling Chaos finally got his, I've never quite forgiven him for the way he treated Randolph Carter in "The Dream Quest of Unknown Kadath". My biggest disappointment with this is that Dumbledore didn't get eaten by Yog-Sothoth or the Haunter of the Dark.

Your take on Lunar Harmony was nice. Kind of sad you ditched Ron like that. I always felt JKR gave the character short shrift since she expected to kill him and the movies didn't do the character justice either. Brilliant plot twist having the hunter be Lilly, I didn't see that one coming.

Once again thanks for this. I will be coming back to it in the future. Best of luck in your writing endeavors - Dementor149.

I enjoyed every morsel of your story. It was better than the strawberry cheesecake and tea I had as I read it. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.

lol Mulder and Scilly nice

You have a talent for worldbuilding and was able to weave the different elements of this story together extremely well. The emotional scenes are solid, impacting just right, and the two biggest twists in who the assassin was and Lily's true parentage didn't feel like they came out of the blue.

For all that, this story has some problems. Ron's descent into being an utter bastard is rapid yet there is no real explanation for it. The issue is more that you have a lot of scenes from evil!Ron stories adapted here such as his turn to violence/spell, his true attitude towards blood status (although that is most definitely canon) pushing him to say Mudblood etc, but there's no payoff. Having these scenes happen at such a high pace usually means Ron was part of some twisted plot, having them happen at a slow pace reveals this was always his attitude but the act of being Harry's friend was able to keep the worst of it in check. Instead, you went for the quick descent and that left his arc unsatisfying.

My only issue on the Dumbledore side is the death of Gabrielle. It was gratuitous. Harry had no stakes in the Second Task, it did nothing to push the story along and it being the catalyst for his public downfall could easily have been done with her almost dying.

The biggest issue with the story though is the sheer volume of backstory exposition when you introduced the non-magical protectors and revealed how Lily is still alive. You could have cut these info-dumps down massively and it would have streamlined the story without impacting the quality.

The reader doesn't need to know Lily's entire life after Dumbledore screws her over. Tell us that she was lied to, tried making a life for herself in America without any contact to the Magical World only to overhear the conversation on the World Cup. It's a paragraph or two worth of details at most with the rest being given at any point in conversation if it's needed - one perfect spot would have been after the revelation when they're back at Grimmauld and just before the attempt to burn the book.

Nice story, a bit too light-hearted for the chtulhu parts, and a some parts too much focused on bashing, but otherwise well-written and a nice storyline.