wow for like 40 plus chapter you nae your oc stupid

Aww, too bad. It’s a good story. Anyways, if you drop the story, could you at least tell me who the Bird was? I was thinking the son of lyza tully, sister of catelyn, but when you called Sansa that, I thought that she was the culprit, since she had a bond with Lord Baelish (a bit) and is feeling a bit left out.
So could you please tell me who it was? Pretty please with a cherry on top?

Hi. I understand you're no longer working on the story. But would you mind giving us an outline of something of how things ended? What did you plan to happen in the end? Who is the bird? Who lives, who dies and maybe what relationships survive? I'm not asking for the whole story but just your outline. I'm sure you had already planned it out to some extent. Thanks.

I get it, just hope I leave this story up cause I sometimes come back and reread it.

Honestly she’s kind of pathetic
I was expecting an older less impulsive Arya

Interesting chapter and plot and idea

Very good

I never leave a bad review but the fact that the that you've created a woman who is supposedly strong, is stuck in such a toxic relationship is sick. This very fact makes her week beyond compare. He simply seeks to own her and after a while, she becomes a wife, a meek simpering wife, he calls Bran a cripple, all she can do is stand there, he says all those awful things and all she does is gag him. I'm very sorry but the very thought that is SOB has survived her or her family's wrath sickens me to the core.

"phased" (fazed)

"sholder" (shoulder)

Killing out of self-defense doesn't make you a Wildling. If that was true then everyone south of the border is a wildling.

"tollerate" (tolerate)

It would be a big plus if we know who the point of view is from the get-go. Even though we *know*, having his name dropped before the third or fourth sentence would help to more quickly affirm that the point of view is who the reader suspects it is.

To me, Ramsay knows Roose Bolton as "Father". Mentally calling him "Roose Bolton" seems way too distant. He's trying to get in his father's good graces and be affirmed as a rightful heir of the Bolton household - even Jon refers to Eddard Stark as "Father". If this is an attempt at weaving 3rd person omnipotent narrative with 3rd person limited, it may need to be made a bit more clearer.

An example here would be:

"Ramsay's eyes darted right back to his father and he stared at him, was Roose Bolton being serious?"

Why drop Roose Bolton's name like that? We know who Ramsay's father is, we know it's Roose Bolton. When it comes from Ramsay's point of view it ends up being very awkward. A simple "was *he* being serious?" is enough. Even though there are two people of the same sex in this scene, it is fine to continue to use pronouns instead of names. We will not think that Roose is wondering if Ramsay is being serious, or if Ramsay is asking if *he himself* is being serious. The only logical conclusion is that Ramsay is asking if Roose ("he") is being serious.

"perminate" (permanent)

Also, why does Alyssa smile at the memory of stories that Old Nan told of men marrying women for the soldiers they could provide? That doesn't seem like something to smile about, unless it's ruefully or sardonically.

Another repetitious line:

"She had never heard of a woman marrying someone for their army, but it was very possible that it had happened in the past. If it had, she didn't know about it."

Alyssa says that she hadn't heard of a woman marrying a man for his army, but concedes it may have happened in the past. Then she reaffirms this by saying if it had, she didn't know. Logically speaking, if she hadn't heard about it, she wouldn't know about it, that's how things work. Thus, it's just restating what the reader has learned about what she knows, only in a different way and way too close to when it was originally said. I suggest rewriting that last bit or chopping off that small sentence at the end.

Here is where it starts getting a bit odd. Your Author notes blend right in with the story itself. You would do well to separate them. You have many chapters which makes this an arduous task, but well, this is something everyone should do if they absolutely must address their audience before or after their story.

I like Roose's characterization. He's a tsundere, minus the tsun, but not insane like his son. Small blessings.

"incompasitate" (incompacitate); "ruitine" (routine); "glooves" (gloves);

Good story, but there are some spelling errors that bug me. A truly magnificent story is free from spelling errors and would truly cinch this into something that was just that. Here are the ones I've found: "tourcher" (torture); "tourch" (torch); "exhile" (exile); "ungreatful" (ungrateful).

Another tweak I'd suggest is that in the last paragraph Alyssa claims that "everyone she ever loved was dead" but in the very next sentence, she contradicts herself by acknowledging that Jon and Sansa were still alive... Another thing, why does she refer to her parents by their names? That's a bit odd and quite rude, even back then.

I enjoy how this story is shaping up, but these small mistakes do detract from the story.

Nooo! I need more chapters! I finished this story in 3 or 4 days. I love it! Please continue writing