What up! Welcome to what Fanfiction.net forced me to write in what can only be described as a desperate and guttural cry for attention.
Take notes; this will be on the quiz.

Name: Sheila the yaoi enthusiast!

Age: 5,024

Occupation: Fandom slave

Location: Shadow Realm

Interests: Yaoi, drawing poorly, yaoi, anime, yaoi, Yami Bakura, yaoi, writing, yuri, yaoi, your mom, yaoi, DDR, yaoi, manga, yaoi, JRock, yaoi, reading, yaoi, and shounen-ai.

Intelligent Thought(s): Sometimes-- late at night-- I lay awake and wonder, "Could I be a Kaiba brother?"

Site Thinger: BEHOLD MY DEVIANT ART-NESS BITCHES 8D

Now, some haikus. Be aware: these sum up my sophomoric excuse for an ulterior motive

I write yaoi fics
They keep me from homocide
Yum, yaoi goodness

VT is insane
Hentai keeps her up at night
None can help her now

Because I got high
Yaoi boys dance in my head
They will never stop

Don't Do Drugs; the results are thus

Favourite couples:

Yuugi-ou-
Seto/Jou (OTP for ten years!)
Bakura/Ryou
Yami/Yuugi
Malik/Marik
Honda/Otogi
Dartz/Pegasus (Don't ask)
Kaiba/Pegasus (Please don't ask)
Mai/Shizuka
Noah/Mokuba (Kinky)
Ishizu/Me (Hell yes)
Honda/Shizuka
Amelda/Kaiba (very little)
Rishid/Malik (also very little)
Varon/Mai (Keep her away from Jou! X3)
Atemu/Maahado
Weevil/Rex (I said it)
Mako Tsunami/Ocean

The Hunchback of Notre Dame-
Clopin/Frollo (oh gawd YES)
Esmeralda/Phoebus
Hugo/Victor
Clopin/Phoebus (just enough to stop respecting myself)
Djali/Hugo

Neon Genesis Evangelion-
Shinji/Kaoru
Rei/Gendou

Animaniacs-
Pinky/Brain (oh YES)
Yakko/Himself

Yuu Yuu Hakusho-
Hiei/Kurama
Youko/Kurama/Hiei (The hottness)
Shinobu/Itsuki
Shinobu/Koenma
Yuusuke/Keiko
Kuwabara/Yukina
Genkai/Boton (Are you as turned on as I am?)

Watchmen-
Rorschach/Nite Owl II (Hurm, missed you, Daniel)
Nite Owl II/Silk Spectre II
Comedian/Silk Spectre
Comedian/Rorschach (??)
Ozymandias/Nite Owl II
Captain Metropolis/Hooded Justice
The Silhouette/Sexy Nurses Everywhere

.Hack//Sign-
Subaru/Tsukasa

Metalocalypse-
Squisgar/Toki (Yeses)
Pickles/Ofdensen
Dr. Rockso/Cocaine (He does it.)
Nathan/Murderface (?)
(Secretly Murderface/Killface)

Tekken Series-
Anna/Nina
Jin/Hwoarang
Jin/Heihachi (WHAT?)
Gun Jack/the blonde chick (you know the one)

Yami no Matsuei-
Tsuzuki/Hisoka
Evil Doctor Muraki/Me (Bitches love me)

Batman-
Poison Ivy/Harley Quinn
Robin (Nightwing)/Batgirl
Officer Montoya/Anyone she fukken pleases
The Joker/Harley Quinn (I hate it as much as I love it.)
Batman (Bruce Wayne)/Catwoman (Selina Kyle)
Harvery Dent/Bruce Wayne (Only in The Dark Knight)
Talia Al Ghul/Batman
(Secretly Mark Hamill/Kevin Conroy)

Pokémon-
Ash/Gary
Prof Oak/Tracey
Young Oak/Ash
James/Any male character EVER (He's gay, damn you!)
Jirachi/Max
Jolteon/Vaporeon (I...I dunno)

Team Fortress 2-
Sniper/Spy (LIKE WHOA)
Heavy/Medic (You cannot convice me that this is not canon.)
Soldier/Engie
Soldier/Demo
Femsniper/Femspy
Sniper/Femspy
Spy/Spy
Sniper/Sniper
Engie/Pyro
Scout/Scout
Scout/Pyro
Heavy/Scout (?)

The Nightmare Before Christmas-
Jack/Sally (lurve)
Lock/Barrel
Oogie Boogie/Santa (shut up, you've thought about it)

Corpse Bride-
Victor/Victoria
Emily/Me (I'll love you corpse bride!)
Bojangles/Victor
(secretly Jack/Victor)

Aqua Teen Hunger Force-
Frylock/Shake (Meatwad's their lovechild)

Legal/Lawful Drug-
Saiga/Kakei
Himura/Kudo
Mukofujiwara/Nayuki (That took 3 days to type out)
The Chocolate Bar/Himura/Kudo

Soul Calibur(II)-
Ivy/Taki
Kilik/Yunsung
Kilik/Nightmare

FAKE-
Ryo/Dee
Carol/Bikky
JJ/Drake
Diana/Berkie!

Kingdom Hearts Series-
Riku/Sora
Axel/Roxas

Hamlet-
Rosencrantz/Guildenstern (Oh, glean what afflicts him!)
Hamlet/Horatio
Hamlet/Yorick

Gravitation-
Shu/Eiri
Shu/Hiro (THERE! I said it!)
Eiri/Mineral Water

Queer as Folk-
Brian/Justin (OH GOD YES)
Ben/Michael
Em/Ted (;;)
Mel/Lindz
Ben/Brian (less so knowing that they've had sex)
Deb/Detective Carl Sexyvoice

Demon Diary-
Eclipse/Raenef
Erutis/Krayon (How can you not love someone who's name is a misspelling of a wax product?)

Superjail-
Jared/Warden (HOLY SHIT, DO WANT.)
Warden/Jailbot (a little)
Warden/Mistress
Warden/Alice (also a little)
NOVA/Jailbot
Bruce/Alice (gross)
Jared/Chareese
Warden/Himself (It's possible; I've seen it)
David Wain's voice/Me

BeyBlade-
Kai/Rei (I don't watch the show.)

Justice League (Unlimited)-
Batman/Wonder Woman
The Flash/his Nikes
Green Lantern (John Stewart)/Hawk Girl
Sekuri/Areshia
Star Sapphire/Huntress (They have the exact same costume. Saves money.)
Question/Huntress
Superman/Lois Lane
Superman/Batman (very minimally--it's just hard to ignore)
Booster Gold/Skeets
Lex/Brainiac
The Flash/Fire
Brainiac 5/Super Girl (Come on, he thought it was guilt!)
Fire/Ice
Hawk/Dove (Dove is a loving top)
Captain Atom/The Atom
Princess Audrey of Kasnia/Princess Diana of the Amazons
Green Arrow/Black Canary
Black Canary/Huntress
Static Shock/Gear (Does this fall under this category?)

Fushigi Yuugi-
Chichiri/Tasuki
Yui/Miaka

Star Fox Series-
Fox/Falco
Falco/Slippy (lol i dunno)
Fox/Wolf
Fox/Crystal
Andrew/Leon
James/Peppy (??)
Fox/Bill (You too...Bill...)
Falco/Katt
Slippy/Amanda (She's a drag queen; I'm sure of it.)

Fefu and Her Friends-
Fefu/Her Friends

Eerie Queerie-
Hasunuma/Mitsuo
Hasunuma/Ichi (XD)
Itsuki/Shino
Mikuni/EVERYBODY (He's my hero.)

Rurouni Kenshin-
Kenshin/Kaoru
Sanosuke/Megumi
Kenshin/Sanosuke
Sanosuke/Yahiko (It's legal to me)

Metal Gear Series-
Snake/Otacon (SNAAAAAAAKE!! It's canon. Srsly, OTP.)
Snake/McDonell Miller, "Master"
"Naomi"/Sniper Wolf
Sniper Wolf/Snake
Sniper Wolf/Star Wolf
Snake/Meryl (but it has to be tragic...and sweet, but tragic)
The Sorrow/The Joy
Ocelot/Naked Snake (It can't not be canon.)
Naked Snake/EVA
Naked Snake/EVA/Ocelot (OT3!!)
Boss/Naked Snake
Boss/EVA (But one-sided EVA after The Boss X3)
Volgin/Raikov
Raikov/Raiden (TIME PARADOX)
Meryl/Johnny (fuck yes.)
Pliskin/Raiden (not serious and not Snake, but Pliskin)
Pliskin/Me (He's a dreamboat.)
Otacon/Pliskin (They roleplay.)
Drebin/The Monkey
Snake/Guns
Raiden/Swords
Raiden/Rose (more if she weren't so annoying)
Raiden/Vamp
Vamp/Scott Dolph
Raiden/E.E. (more if she weren't so annoying...and dead)
Otacon/Emma (I know. Shit, I know.)
Otacon/ROB64
Otacon/Pokedex

InuYasha-
Inu/Kagome
Miroku/Sango
Inu/Miroku (It's canon.)
Inu/Sesshy (They brought that upon themselves)
Kagome/Sango

Witch Hunter Robin-
Amon/Robin

Teen Titans-
Starfire/Robin
Raven/Beast Boy
Jynx/Cyborg
Bumblebee/Cyborg
Speedy/Robin
Speedy/Aqua Lad
Aqua Lad/Beast Boy
Beast Boy/Terra (not as much though)
Robin/Slade (o shi-)
Cyborg/Sarasim
Starfire/Raven
Raven/Robin (This makes me hate myself a little. 8D)
Raven/Terra
Cyborg/Robin (lol i dunno...a little bit)

Full Metal Alchemist-
Hughes/WHOEVER HE WANTS (i miss him. :'c)
Hughes/Roy
Roy/Hawkeye
Ed/Winry (o winry?)
Winry/Paninya

Avatar: The Last Blah Blah-
Aang/Kitara
Prince Zuko/Sokka
Sokka/Suki
Sokka/Yue

Naruto-
Gaara/Lee
Sasu/Naru (Don't tell anyone!)
Naruto/Iruka
Kakashi/Iruka
Kakashi/Gai
Ino/Sakura
Shikamaru/Temari
Naruto/Gama Bunta (Damn right!)
Itachi/Sasu
Neji/Tenten
Zabuza/Haku (;; It's so beautiful)

The Venture Brothers-
Brock/Dr. Venture
The Monarch/Dr. Girlfriend (Dr. Mrs. The Monarch)
Brock/Coqtiz
#24/#21 (gross)
The Monarch/Dr. Venture (I'm not all the way on this one yet. Now I am. Kinda.)

Revolutionary Girl Utena-
Utena/Anthy (it's canon. srsly.)
Touga/Saionji
Saionji/Wakaba
Juri/Shiori
Mikage/Mamiya
Touga/Saionji/Akio (in Akio's car)

Harry Potter-
Draco/Harry (XD)
Cedric/Harry
Harry/Ron
Hermione/Draco (she'd whip him into shape)
Hermione/Ron
Sirius/Lupin
Harry/Nimbus 2000
Dumbledore/Goblet of Fire

Samurai Champloo-
Jin/Mugen (end of discussion)

Least Favorite couples I've read:

Yuugi-ou-
Yuugi/Kaiba (Kaiba's a priest;Yuugi's a small boy. You put it together.)
Yami/Kaiba (Meh, I have a personal "quirk"--if you wish to love some one, you must believe in their existence.)
Atem/Seth (I...I'm sorry. They're cousins; I understand there was inbreeding of royalty in anciet Egypt and other kingdoms, but there is no breeding here.)
Shizuka/Kaiba (Have they met?)
Bakura/Honda (I think I died a little.)
Anyone from Yugioh 5D's/Anyone ever (I just can't watch that show.)

Yuu Yuu Hakusho-
Hiei/Botan (double u tee eff?)

Eerie Queerie-
Ichi/Mitsuo (NUUUUUUUUUUUU)

Fushigi Yuugi-
Tamahome/Miaka (if only the dialogue between them hadn't degenerated to only their first names being shouted as they run down various undetailed hallways to their evident doom, you know?)
Hotohori/Tasuki (they are pretty)

Batman-
The Joker/Anyone who's not Harley Quinn (Fuck you. He's the goddamn JOKER.)
Batman/Robin (I just...I don't know; I can't. ...Weird, huh?)

Revolutionary Girl Utena-
Utena/Touga (No, because...because no.)

Metal Gear Series-
Snake/Naomi (I know it's basically canon in MGS1, but there's just something about her betraying him and them both being raised by Big Boss that irks me. Also, she's a bitch.)
Snake/Mei Ling (I just don't see any substance. Sorry, guys.)
Snake/Liquid (What? No.)
Snake/Meryl (lol wut. I know I have it under my fav pairings, but some people take this shit too seriously. Also, otasune is canon.)
Otacon/Young!Ocelot (Everyone should have a TIME PARADOX pairing, but this one isn't doing it for me.)
Ocelot/Liquid (I used to slash this, but after MGS3, for Ocelot, they're'll be no one else. He's still in a wet dream, snake eaterrrrrrr.)

Naruto-
Kakashi/Sakura (They made eye-contact; they're in Lurve!)

Corpse Bride-
Victor/Emily (let's see, I do believe that was what the MOVIE WAS ABOUT)

Now, the top 5 things I've read in fanfics that I am absolutely sure can never, ever happen
(All from Yuugi-ou):

1. Yuugi's eyes widened
2. Ryou paled
3. Jou tutored
4. Kaiba Squealed
5. Malik's girlfriend...

XD I don't care what anyone says. Those couldn't possibly happen.

Since FFN won't allow this to be a fic, I'm posting it here:
-x-
If I ever became a Yuugi-ou villain...

I will not, I repeat for emphasis, will NOT explain exactly what a card does before, after, or as I play it. In fact, I will pretend to be mute for the majority of the duel up until I need to say that stupid chant for the Winged Dragon of Ra. After all, being a good duelist is nice; the element of surprise is nicer.

I will believe in the heart of the cards, no matter how dumb it may seem.

I will not anger Kaiba, Malik, Marik, or Bakura, lest I have a death wish.

I will always let Kaiba win. Even if it’s at tic-tac-toe and he has never played before.

I will not kidnap Mokuba; kidnapping Yuugi would be much easier and with an overall much better affect. His friends are all mentally inept, and Yuugi fits easily into most overhead storage bins.

I will never enter any tournaments run by Kaiba. Ever.

If my hair extends more than 10 inches from my face, I will get a haircut.

I will always check out who my voice actor is BEFORE I sign any contracts.

If Kaiba and I cannot share a screenshot because of my height, I will not spike my hair in an attempt to compensate. I will instead wear platform shoes that MATCH my outfit.

I will have a card created called, “Ninner Ninner Ninner!” This trap card would state that if Yami somehow managed to turn the duel around in his favor with one card, one turn, or one move, I would automatically win.

I will hold a “Millenium Items’ Holders Convention” gathering all the hikaris and yamis in one spot; I will then steal all the items before the tomb robber knows what happened.

If I wish to gather Yuugi and his friends in one spot, I will not lure them to a desolate house in the middle of Nowhere; this is a dead give-away. Instead, I will go to the local gay bar and wait.

When threatening Yami’s/Yuugi’s friends, I will not do something temporary like turning them into virtual stone. I will instead immediately kill them so as not to run the risk of them somehow coming back, cheering him on, and thereby giving him the confidence to win the duel.

I will kill 4KIDS Entertainment for most likely making me look flamboyantly gay.

If I ever get the sudden urge to shave my head bald, save a ponytail in the back of my skull, I will send myself to the Shadow Realm.

I will not trust characters with green hair, bad voice actors, or a height less than 5 feet. That’s just creepy.

I will become close friends with Yami and Yuugi. With some luck, they will risk their own lives in order to save mine, and the second they are down, I’ll steal the Puzzle.

I will not put a piece of my soul into Anzu, no matter how desperate I am.

I will prove once and for all Kaiba is crying on the inside.

I will remember that the plot is not on my side nor will it ever be, so the best I can do is have fun.

Whips are fun.

If my eyes take up more than half my face, I will pay 3 million dollars for an eye operation.

I will form an alliance with Yami Bakura, and when he lets his guard down, I will braid his hair. This gives me no actual advantage, but it’s difficult to be intimidated when you are trying to be banished to the Realm of Shadows by a bishounen with white pigtails.

I will learn how to run while wearing a trench coat, then teach Kaiba.

I will have the Millenium Spatula.

I will not have a flashback in the middle of a duel to somehow show how pathetic and full of anguish my past was. I’m a freakin’ villain; were you expecting rainbows?

I will not mock the Ishtars’ mentality at any time. I enjoy living in this realm.

I will not make any references to Jou being a dog. I will instead be original, and call Kaiba a cat.

I will then run, very fast.

I will not send anyone to the Shadow Realm. Instead, I will lock them in a closet with Anzu. Why should I kill the fool, when he will be willing to do so himself within seconds?

I will keep a robotic cheesecake by my side at all times...I’m not sure as to what this will do for me besides distracting Jou, but as a villain, I’ve always wanted one.

I will not wear a neutral color like black or blue. I will instead wear an incredibly distracting color, like neon yellow. This way, if I begin losing too many life points, I can dance around and say, “I’m a pretty Kuriboh!” Hopefully, this will distract my opponent long enough for me to attack directly.

Said plan does not work if opponent is Marik; he will most likely be turned on by the whole ordeal.

If one more character wants to rule the world as pharaoh or take over Kaiba Corporations to do so, I will shoot them on sight.

On days in which I am randomly missing from the plot, I will send an email to all the characters that reads, "I PWN YOU" in order to keep up morale.

I will make it abundantly clear that dueling for your father, deceased wife, best friend, grandfather, self, fate of the world, brother, love interest, master, or nearly blind sister is completely unreasonable.

Dueling for Malik’s sex change is.

I will not carry around a gun. Death by poking so so much more frightening.

I will try to make Yuugi cry in every episode. It is apparently not that hard.

If my gender cannot be deciphered on sight, I will get cosmetic surgery to rectify that problem. Immediately.

If my laugh is 7 octaves higher than my regular speaking voice is, I will cease cracking jokes altogether.

If I am American, I will eventually die a horrendous death anyway, no use dwelling on it.

I will create another card called "Shut the Fuck Up You Self-Righteous Bastard." If Yami says the word "fate" or "destiny" even once in the whole duel, I immediately win.

My clothes and hair WILL abide by the laws of physics.

When I am about to make a direct attack, I will not mock my opponent, nor will I make any references to taking candy from babies. It is usually in these instances that the other duelist has some sort of special trap card--no one has ever heard of-- that can destroy me completely, making me look that much more stupid.

I will not try to obtain the Sennen Puzzle by dueling Yami. Instead, I will buy 51 percent of all hair gel companies and shut them down. From there, it will just be a waiting game.

I will not be surprised when I find that my past is responsible for the crumble of a glorious and ancient civilization despite what textbooks say.

I will not wear a trench coat. That is obviously Kaiba’s thing, and I have no desire to get my ass kicked.

Plus, I could use the valuable time wasted starching it, to come up with diabolical schemes that could actually work.

I will never wear knee-high socks with platform sandals.This is not a fashion statement; it is a mistake.

I will stray from any physical contact with characters of the same or near same gender; I know how fangirls get.

I will always ask about the shiny, golden object hiding behind peoples’ backs.

Said plan does not work if person is Malik. It’s just probably his bracelet or something, right?

I will not be surprised when I find my past is linked to ancient Egypt.

Nor will I be surprised when Kaiba does not believe my past is linked to ancient Egypt.

I will also not be surprised when I find that there is yet another Kaiba brother.

However, I will commit suicide if I find that there is another Mizaki (Anzu).
-x-

One last thing
Citrus Fruit! (For those not aquainted with this food group):
Lemon- Graphic sex scene
Lime- Implied sex scene
Grapefruit- Sex Scene involving 3 or more people
Orange- Implied "Grapefruit"

I hope you enjoyed my attempts at hiding my inadequecy--I mean, on to the fics!