WARNING-VERY INSANE

When I was born, the Devil said 'Oh crap, I've got competition!'

Who is NINJAWITHIMAGINATION?

-A crazed fangirl of Marvel, Lord of the Rings, Doctor Who, Supernatural, Sherlock, The Mentalist, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the Joker as a character, and Harry Potter

-A creature fluent in sarcasm

-A demented being who loves villains, especially psychopaths.

-A very talkative character who, in real life, is horrible at figuring out when to talk and when to shut up.

-Someone who has lived in many different and unique places

-A thespian and avid music lover.

-A slightly psychopathic person who has convinced many people she will grow to be a serial killer

-Some people think she's a pyromaniac. She probably isn't. Maybe.

-NO SHE IS NOT AN ARSONIST, DAMN YOU BUSHY, BUNNY, LI, AND VI!!

(BushesNBunnies and PeopleAreLikeSlinkies are my mates and THEY CONTINUE TO SAY I'M AN ARSONIST. TWO TIMES, GUYS. TWO. TIMES.)

Some fun:

People are like slinkies, basically useless, but ever so fun to watch fall down stairs.

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

One day, your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and was too stubborn to ask for directions

Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real. You want a perfect girl? Go buy a Barbie doll.

I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.

I used up all my sick days... so I called in dead.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to stand up and talk. They spend the next part telling us to sit down and stay quiet.

There's a light at the end of every tunnel... let's just hope it's not a train.

Flying is not inherently dangerous-crashing is.

Love your enemies. It gets 'em really confused!

Life isn't about the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breaths away. Like choking.

Whoever said nothing is impossible probably never tried slamming a revolving door...

They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well, I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill that many people.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away... if well aimed.

Last night I lay in my bed, looking at the stars, and I wondered 'Where's my ceiling?'

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over!

If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!

I'm not afraid of death! What's it going to do, kill me?

Some say the glass is half full, others say the glass is half empty. ALL I WANNA KNOW IS WHO DRANK MY WATER!

When someone insults you, it takes 42 muscles to frown but only 4 to extend your arm and punch 'em in the face! :)

Ever Wonder...

Why doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why lemonade is made with artificial flavoring, and dishwasher liquid is made with real lemons?

Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?

If flying's so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

You know that indestructable black box on airplanes? WHY DON'T THEY MAKE THE WHOLE PLANE OUT OF IT?!

Why do we write stuff down, but type it up?

Why they're called apartments if they're all stuck together?

Some things to do in an elevator:

-Stare grinning at a passenger, and then announce, "I have new socks on."

-Stare at another passenger for a while, and then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away.

-Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral

-Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and tell everyone, "This is my personal space."

-Hold the doors open for a bit, saying your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, "Hi, Greg! How are you doing?"

-Meow occasionally

-When there's only one person in the elevator with you, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn't you

-Pretend your a flight attendant and review exits and emergency procedures with the passengers

-Congratulate all for being in the same lift as you

-Call, "GROUP HUG!" and then enforce it

-While the doors are opening, whisper "Hide it, QUICK!" then whistle innocently.

-Walk into the lift and say, "This reminds me of being buried alive. Oh, those were the days."

-Take off your shoes when you get in, then look disgusted when nobody else does.

-In a bellboy act, ask them what floor they want. When they reply, glare at them and hiss, "You should be ashamed of yourself" and leave the lift tutting.

-Announce in a demonic voice, "I need a more suitable host body."

What to do during an exam:

-When you get a copy, run out of the classroom screaming, "ANDRE, ANDRE! I'VE GOT THE SECRET DOCUMENTS!"

-As soon as the instructor hands you your exam, eat it.

-Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking today.

-Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. About 30 minutes into it, stand up and yell "I'm here! The phantom of the opera!" until they drag you away.

-Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and NOTHING ELSE.

-Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up the papers into very small pieces, throw them in the air, and yell out, 'MERRY CHRISTMAS!' (or happy new year). If you're really daring, ask for another copy. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes :)

-Do the entire exam in another language (if you don't know one, make it up!)

-Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. When the instructor asks you what your doing, tell him "Well the lightbulb above my head is attached to a clapper! DUH!"

-In the middle of the exam, have a friend rush in, tag your hand, and resume taking your test. When the instructor asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing.

-Bring cheat sheets (FOR ANOTHER CLASS or you won't just fail, you'll get kicked out) and stick it on the exam, putting a note that says 'Refer to if needed.'

-Have a heart attack. When asked what happened, explain that question (any number) moved you deeply.

-Wear a superman outfit under your clothes. About 30 minutes in, answer your phone and yell, "What? I'm on my way!", ripping off your outer clothes and running out of the room. Strike a pose first for intended effect.

-Dress like the professor

-Run into the room, looking around frantically. Sigh in relief, then tell the instructor, "They've found me. I have to leave the country!" and run back out.

-Walk in, get the exam, and sit down. About 5 minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, 'I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?'

-Stand up after about 15 minutes and say loudly, 'Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E...'

-Cross Dress.

-Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras (It works even better if you come dressed up in formal attire and shake your head in disgust at everyone else who aren't dressed up).

-Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i.e. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go ice skating)

-During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, people, anything you can reach!

"Have you ever noticed how nobody ever looks up? Nobody looks at chimneys, or trees against the sky, or the tops of buildings. Everybody just looks down at the pavement or their shoes. The whole world could pass them by and most people wouldn’t notice." (page 11, Professor Savant, The Last of the Really Great Whangdoodles by Julie Andrews Edwards.)

"He should have thought of that before he made a pact with Satan and stole my cake!" -The Trunchbull, Matilda.

In Remembrance

In Remembrance to Severus Snape…

…A Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor…

...without all the red and gold crap.

In Remembrance to Fred Weasley…

…Who fought bravely to the very end….

…And whose jokes will forever brighten his other half…

…And will loyally await his soul mate and brother…

…with many jokes…

...he's got forever to think of them, right?

In Remembrance to Dobby…

…Who was more free and full of love…

...than any elf, and most humans.

In Remembrance to Remus J. Lupin…

...the last real Marauder...

…who was not just a wonderful father…

….an incredible husband and brave hero…

...as well as a freakin' awesome werewolf.

In Remembrance to Nymphadora Tonks…

…who died for ‘the greater good’…

...and would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora.

In Remembrance of Alastor ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody…

…who’s motto ‘constant vigilance’ kept him alive…

...and scared the crap out of some kids too.

In Remembrance of Tom Marvelo Riddle a.k.a. Voldemort…

…who was pretty cool, and cute when he was younger…

…but who got his ass thoroughly kicked in the end

In Remembrance of Albus Dumbledore…

…whose past and wisdom confused us…

…whose seeming betrayal shocked us…

…but actually who turned out to be an okay guy in the end...

...despite the whole 'almost killing Harry' thing

. In Remembrance to Bellatrix Lestrange…

… because it was awesome how Molly slapped her with that Avada Kedavra!

...She deserved everything she got and more.

In Remembrance of Colin Creevey…

…who we really didn’t know too well…

…but took a lot of pictures and died fighting in a war…

…so he must’ve done something good…

…besides stalking Harry.

In Remembrance of Hedwig…

...Harry's actual first friend…

...who lived and died soaring.

In Remembrance of George's Ear...

...may he forever be 'holey'...

...at least Fred has some company...

...a little piece of George, to last him forever.

Post this if you are a true HP fan

Thanks to everyone who reviews or follows/favorites me and my stories. YOU ARE GREAT!

People say multitasking is bad. So does that mean I have to switch between breathing and blinking?

Some very true quotes:

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is because you made a stupid decision.

I'm not insane, you're just delusional.

If you have a right to your own opinion, then I have a right to tell you how silly it is. Before agreeing.

"Can I ask a question?''
"Didn't really give me a choice there did you?"

Honestly, I've never seen anyone fall because of a banana. Except in my dreams.

Mom: did you make it home safely?
Me: no, I died a couple times.

Research shows, that in 100% cases, when the person says "Oh no she didn't," she actually did.

Dear middle finger, thanks for sticking up for me.

Not being able to pull of a prank because you're laughing like an idiot the whole time? My life.

What's it called when your crush likes you back? Your imagination!

They say revenge is a dish best served cold. They also say revenge is sweet, so basically, revenge is ice cream.

Sometimes I don't know if people are checking me out or are shocked at how ugly I am.

I would tell you to go to hell, but I live there and I don't wanna see you every day.

I didn't trip, I was testing gravity. It still works.

A while ago, I had a long email conversation with my friends. It ended up with us talking about things you'll always know. Here are most of them:

-School is a place to go when you have a hard time falling asleep

- Basements are a place to hold junk that you do not want to recycle... or dead bodies

-Kids only like clowns because it's the introduction to horror movies

-The ads with the most "reality" are for the products with the most side effects

-Most commercials are two minutes of how great the product is and five minutes on the effects

- The internet is a burrow- the longer you dig deeper, and stay longer, the harder it is to escape

- Cats rub against things

- The sky is blue

-3/4's of stuff we know about school friends are things we learn from gossip and rumours..

-When people tell you not to worry, you worry

-When you're told not to think about something, you think about it

-Don't think about blue elephants

-You just thought about blue elephants -See?!

A Canadian can be English, Irish, Scottish or Welsh, French or Italian, German, Spanish, Polish, Russian or Greek. A Canadian can be Mexican, African, Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Australian, Iranian, Asian, Arab, Pakistani, or Afghan.

A Canadian may also be a Cree, Métis, Mohawk, Blackfoot, Sioux, or one of the many other tribes known as native Canadians. A Canadian's religious beliefs range from Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, Hindu, or none. In fact, there are more Muslims in Canada than in Afghanistan . The key difference is that in Canada they are free to worship as each of them chooses. Whether they have a religion or no religion, each Canadian ultimately answers only to God, not to the government, or to armed thugs claiming to speak for the government and for God.

A Canadian lives in one of the most prosperous lands in the history of the world. The root of that prosperity can be found in the Charter of Rights and Freedoms, which recognize the right of each person to the pursuit of happiness.

A Canadian is generous and Canadians have helped out just about every other nation in the world in their time of need, never asking a thing in return. Canadians welcome the best of everything, the best products, the best books, the best music, the best food, the best services, and the best minds.

But they also welcome the least - the oppressed, the outcast, and the rejected.

These are the people who built Canada . You can try to kill a Canadian if you must as other bloodthirsty tyrants in the world have tried but in doing so you could just be killing a relative or a neighbour. This is because Canadians are not a particular people from a particular place. They are the embodiment of the human spirit of freedom. Everyone who holds to that spirit, everywhere, can be a Canadian.
Repost if you're proud to be Canadian!

O.O

We've got double chemistry tomorrow, we'll work on the explosives then.

O.O

You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!

O.O

Ah, Miss Bagstock, your girlish laughter hit me like the lash of a hunting crop.

O-O

Hey kids, let's talk about GRAMMAR!

'Let's eat Grandma!'

'Let's eat, Grandma!'

Grammar saves lives...

What about another one?

An English professor wrote on the board;

'A woman without her man is nothing'

And asked her students to punctuate it correctly. All the males in the class did;

'A woman, without her man, is nothing.'

While all the females (or the ones like me) wrote;

'A woman! Without her, man is nothing.'

Punctuation is powerful.

SO PLEASE, USE CORRECT GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION OR ASK ME TO BETA FOR YOU! O_O

Roses are Red

Violets are Blue

Dear me, Mr. Holmes

What happened to you?

Deserting your friends

And 'taking' your life

You've made quite a mess

And caused lots of strife

And your friend, John

What about him?

Without you

He looks quite grim

So think very carefully

Before you return

Not everyone can handle

That kind of a burn

Dear me, Mr. Holmes

Does my name ring a bell?

When you faked your death...

I faked mine as well

-JM