Hey there, how's it going? the name's Kooliez! xD

If you're here, 99% of the time, you're probably wanting to maul me for my outrageous non-existent updating schedule in which case I'll high-tail out of here ASAP *runs for cover in my pillow fort*

On the off-chance that you're in the other 1% NOT trying to have my head on a pike, here's a little about me :3

~About Kooliez~

Name:

Kooliez works fine; I'll let you know when I get bored of it and actually make and effort to come up with something better though xD

Age:

Older than 10, younger than 20, why do you ask? :D

Gender:

One of the (admittedly many, many, MANY) reasons why I love the internet; I can remain ambiguous on this topic :D I've had lots of people question this on forum and my stories, even asking me in my PM inbox but in my experience so far, it's better to stand in the gray area and reap the best of both worlds :P

For those who think I'm female: I get it~ it's because my stories tend to use female OCs (letting you know up front that all my stories are from a request box so though the characterization is mine, the gender of the OCs are not my choice xD), my near religious use of emojis and the fact that at times, I change my 'Writer's Voice' to a seemingly more effeminate tone right? xDDD 75% of fanfiction writers are female anyway so nothing wrong with using words like 'like', 'actually', 'really' or etc. to cater to the majority in my opinion; in Australia we even have a verbal tic called a 'High Rise Terminal' which makes every sentence (even statements) sound like questions - don't question it xP Bottom line, just saying to all those feminists out there; even though guys would like to have you believe that they don't stutter or need pause-fillers, everyone does :3 If it's the way I'm readily comfortable to discuss any and every topic under the sky with girls, just remember that being able to pitch in your two cents is not strictly gender-locked :) And if it's the way I drench my speech with emojis, it's to show the other party what I feel xD I only stop using emojis when I'm serious, which, believe it or not, does happen on occasion :D

For those who think I'm male: I know I know~ In the RP forums I joined I tend to use male OCs; they're just more comfortable for me to really get in character for xD Even if at times I take on a more effeminate manner of speech, it doesn't necessarily mean I'm flaky or a girly boy xD I change the way I talk to match the wavelength of whoever I'm talking to; you wouldn't talk to your girlfriend or your mum the same way as you would talk to your mates right? :D Guy, Girl, Gay or European, discussions of my potentially flamboyant sexuality aside, I'm fine with being called a girly guy or even just being plain androgynous xD

The final verdict: Either, neither, whatever makes you comfortable; I'll leave that up to you (I won't be offended whatever pronoun you pick, promise! xP)

Personality (/Achievements):

Self-Proclaimed Winner of the 'Procrastinator of the Year' award for over 10 consecutive years running

BEST Textbook tower stacker Said no one ever

1st Place in a competition with only 1 participant

2nd Place in a race with only 2 participants

etc.

etc.

etc.

(99999999999999999999999999999 years later)

etc.

etc.

etc.

As for the rest~ You're telling me! :D

Ambitions:

Even cutting down all the trees in the world wouldn't make enough paper to complete this list, but the most important on is; Having fun living life the way I'd like to~ :3

Likes:

Genuine people: If you're up for letting everything off your chest, I'm all for that and I think we'd get along just fine xD

Writing: Sorry, I know my update schedule is atrocious but I have a personal principle of only giving everything my best so I'd rather take months to perfect a chapter than doss out an un-edited, un-beta-ed chapter that I can't say I'm proud of from the bottom of my heart (Especially since all my stories are prompts from a list of requests from friends). I have far too much respect for my readers to do a half-hearted job and this is the one thing I will not compromise on when I write :)

Reading: Nothing I love more than a thoughtfully written story or review and nothing that makes me uncomfortable more than one with careless mistakes or no substance. I agree that freedom is an art form and the intrinsic rules can be bent if you know how, but stories littered with errors upset me especially if the plot is good because it makes me want to stop reading even though I feel obligated to finish it :(

Sweets: Drawers and pockets full of candy! xDDD Call it unhealthy or call it reckless, I live my life off of sugar :P No health problems yet but my mum said idiots don't get sick so I'll probably live forever ahahah~! xP

Animals: Can't help loving them even if nearly all of them try to kill you where I come from; if you ever feel like paying me a visit, watch out for them drop bears mate! :P

Dislikes:

Coriander, Liquorice and Gamey meat: Sorry for the people who actually like these non-toxic poisons but I can't stand these foods OTL You can call it a weak stomach but I'll call it sensible ;w;

Heights: Acrophobia, can't stand it. I prefer to take the stairs and will use the elevator only when forced x3

~About Kooliez's Stories~

Against the Law (A Soul Eater Fanfic)

Chrona is not Medusa's first child. Noir Damine Law has been her mother's pawn for as long as she could remember; a result of an experiment in which Medusa seduced Justin's uncle to obtain the powerful Weapon genes of his lineage. She's been in DWMA hidden away as a spy... Up until the events of Asura's awakening. Lots of other pairings but mainly JustinxOC WARNING: INCEST!

Notes: I'm not sure about this one, it's the first request I ever got (and one from my older cousin to boot so a double whammy as to why I couldn't turn it down OTL) but it's also the one where I tested out all new styles of writing before settling on my current one. It's a disaster and the kindest thing to do would be to take it down I know xD but at the same time, I feel like I owe this story a lot because it was the metaphorical guinea pig that made me into the writer I am today and I want to acknowledge that, so have fun laughing my cringe-worthy fails on the quest to find a style that suited me xDDD (I might still update this one but honestly; I won't unless I find my muse. I don't want to force myself to update because a rushed job usually yields poor quality work :333)

Ageusia and Anosmia (A Shokugeki no Soma Fanfic)

3 Molecular gastronomists, 2 Elite Ten seats, and 1 Nakiri Senzaemon. With a track record like that, just by virtue of his family name, you'd think Nakiri Leon would have it made in the culinary world, right...? Normally that would be the case, but there was just the one problem... Normal humans had 5 fully functioning senses. He only had 3 (Platonic OC but Canon ships undecided)

Notes: As far as published stories go, this is my newest work and also an experimental one because unlike most of my other works, it's the first one to be written from 3rd person xD The muse was courtesy of one of my friends who got me into the Shokugeki no Soma fandom, but between beta-reading work and my other stories and pure procrastination, I never found the time to act on that whim until now. This is a tribute to my friend who got me into the Shokugeki no Soma (If you're reading this, you know who you are and hope you enjoy the rambles of a mad human being who has too much time on their hands xDDD)

Curiosity killed the cat (A Haikyuu Fanfic)

...But too bad satisfaction brought it back. Tall? Check. Skilled? Check. Sexy? Double Check. To the various volleyball players he's met throughout the years, Kuroo Tetsurou seems like the whole package and more... only he's a guy... But what if someone just like him appeared? Beware: Even Godzilla and King Kong would need 9 lives against a Siscon brother. Brother!KurooxOCxVarious

Notes: Another request of a lady friend (who is a big fan of protective older brothers) that I indulged and one that underwent a long editing period before it was allowed to see the light of day. It was still only my second time writing in this specific genre but I'd be lying if I said I didn't have fun learning as I wrote xDDD I've got the plot all planned out and I'll probably update this one some time this century but I need some time to procrastinate so I can put out work that I can confidently say is my best xD

Hydrophilic (A Free! Iwatobi Swim Club Fanfic)

Stoic, emotionless and possibly Japan's (No, the WORLD'S) greatest lover of water, when asked whether or not Haru seems the type to enjoy singing, the answer seems like a no-brainer. How, then, was it that he sang not one, but TWO Character song duets with Makoto? It couldn't have had something to do with his love for water... Could it...? Check that, it's Haru; Of course it did.

Notes: A request from a stranger on Youtube while browsing the comments on Free Character song videos xDDD (That's right, now you have a lead to try and track me down if you had half a mind to). With a word count of 1763 words including the author's note, it's my shortest published completed story so far and one that did a number on my 'Average words per story' stat OTL Not that I can say I regret it though xDDD It was a fun one to write even if the whole writing process including writing, self-editing and self-beta-ing took less than 20 minutes to complete. It was written without actually having seen the Free anime or read the Free manga and one day, when I've officially hopped on the band wagon for this fandom, I think I'm going to look back on it and go 'What the heck did I write' but for now, I think I'll just push it to the back of my mind and see it as a fun little one shot I did because I had the time xD.

Loose Cannon (A Magi Fanfic)

Kouen never knew what hit him the first time he met the fierce warrior princess - or rather warrior prince as in Avalon, gender has no role in the line of succession so all of the children even the girls are titled "prince" - Even Sinbad finds himself drawn to the novelty charm of the unpredictable red head. In a battle of courting will the King or the Prince win? SinbadxOCxKouen

Notes: You know how everyone has at least one moment as a writer whether it be a flaming review or a troll and/or some other matter like that (Come one people, let's be honest xDDD) where they go 'Well I'm royally screwed'? xDDD Sound familiar yeah? Well my moment came when a request that eventually turned into this story came in from none other than... My older sister... What's a guy meant to do right? So bearing that thought in mind, I created the OC of this story and based her personality on my sister. This one probably could have been written a little better but it was also a story that helped me find my current style so I don't regret having written it xDDD I might or might not update this one (I've gotten mixed reviews on this one either saying it's good or it's bad so I'm on the fence with this one). If I do update though, my style will be a little different, being more similar to the style used to write 'the Wildcard' xDDD

My King (A Magi Fanfic)

Having been cut off from the outside world since she agreed to stay in her dungeon to wait for a suitable King candidate, to say that Crocell was bored out of her mind was the understatement of the year. Just when all hope seemed lost and she was wondering if she could hand in her resignation letter to that damned Ugo, a certain purple-haired boy appeared. Semi-CanonDjinn!OCxSinbad

Notes: A request by one of my lady friends who said she wanted to see a story featuring a Djinn OC so that's how this story came to be xDDD So far I've only written the prologue, but I'll be honest and straight up admit it; I've hit a dead end on this one. Not that I'm going to give up on this story or anything, but I really don't know how to incorporate this idea into the story (Probably the reason why no one has done it yet but the stupid me was too stupid to realize this until I walked into the metaphorical wall OTL). When I figure that out though, I'll let you all know by posting up a new chapter! xDDD

The Wildcard (A Magi Fanfic)

The youngest of all her siblings, Kouei was content to take the back seat and leave the battles for power to more suitable people like Kouen; much like her favorite older brother Koumei. That is, until she met Sinbad. "What is that man hiding? When I find out, there'll be nowhere for him to hide..." - Ren Kouei (Eventual SinbadxOC Warning: Rated M coz Sinbad is a Pedo)

Notes: This was a request by a pro-feminism lady friend who said that she wanted to see Sinbad punished for his crimes against Womenkind and while she largely left the details up to me, this is the result :) I'll be the first to admit that I'm probably neither as chivalrous or charitable as my mother wanted me to be brought up as so I'll say it up front; call it an overly excessive dose of schadenfreude but my editors and I had a good laugh drafting out the plot (including parts that haven't been published yet) especially in parts that weren't all too kind to Sinbad. My update schedule for this is horrendous (don't I know it OTL) and only update when I'm needing to vent (so that I can channel the negative energy effectively xDDD) but I plan on continuing this. If I update often, it means I'm in a pretty questionable mood but hey; if the story can benefit from it then who am I to complain as an author? xD

What happens when Gopher doesn't get enough attention… (A Soul Eater Fanfic)

What if instead of blaming Maka for his mistakes and misfortune then taking it out on Kid, what if Gopher decides to get his beloved Noah's attention in the only way he can think of instead? GopherxNoah BDSM and Torturesex as well as JustinxGiriko

Notes: Another request from a lady friend who complained that there weren't enough stories mentioning her favorite pairing (Gopher x Noah) in her favorite fandom (Soul Eater) and asked if I minded writing something explicit. I'll admit that for being such a short piece and a one shot at that, this took the most research and a 3 hour skype interview with said lady friend (Funny how time seems to fly when you're just talking on skype xDDD) who was more than happy to help me get my foot through the door on this one :) It's the first request I've done that my requester actually knew exactly what they wanted, so the change of pace in both the writing experience and the genre was a refreshing and welcome breath of fresh air :DDD

When the Mad Dog bites (A Haikyuu Fanfic)

Oikawa has always had 2 goals in his life. 1) Getting amusing reactions out of a certain Mad Dog-chan... oh and of course 2) Picking up as many chicks as he can to expand his fanclub empire. Imagine how delighted he is once he realises a chance to achieve both comes wandering in through the gym door one day... Brother!KyoutanixOCxVarious (mainly Oikawa) Rated M for later chapters

Notes: Another request from the same friend who requested 'Curiosity killed the cat' xDDD Honestly, I had a lot of fun writing and planning the plot of this story mainly because it was the first request I'd gotten for the Haikyuu fandom and researching the anime and manga for characterization for characters as complex as Oikawa or, conversely, as simple as Kyoutani was an interesting experience. Again, I don't plan on dropping this story, but I don't like writing unless my heart is 120% into it and I can throw myself into the story completely either xDDD

If you wanna talk then I'm all ears; just chuck me a PM and we can get started on a conversation xDDD