~AWARDS AND NOMINATIONS~ IYCSWIS won the runner up prize in the best pairing category! Thank you SO much to all those who voted and those who nominated my story. I can't even tell you how touched and humbled I am by your support.

Congrats to all of the wonderful winners- there is some serious talent on that page! Pop on to the Shrieking Shack society website or facebook page and have a look!

Also, I have FINALLY succumbed and joined tumblr- you can find me under countessselena. Also, I've just joined FB- I'm Minni Moi. Come on over and say hello or drop me a question in my ask box!

A FEW IMPORTANT POINTS:

TO ALL WHO WOULD LIKE TO USE MY WORK IN ANY WAY: please contact me first! Please do not use my work without my explicit consent and proper acknowledgements. I think it's very important that we as writers respect each other's work.

*PLEASE NOTE: I will happily accept reviews even if they criticise my writing, provided they are polite and constructive. Any review employing ad hominem attacks, however, or abusive language will be deleted. I make no apology for this.

UPDATE*

Quite a few readers have asked me for a status update section on my page, so here is my little attempt. Feel free to let me know if it's lacking information, and I'll do my best to provide it.

So, here we go:

1) If You Could See What I See: Chapter 28 has been posted.

Summary: This is a story about a postwar Hermione who suffers from many problems, and it's all about her journey in dealing with them and coming back from the dark place she is in. This story discusses eating disorders and mental illness, low self-esteem and self-hatred. If you don't like stories that deal with these themes, this story is not for you.

2) Can You See Me? : This is a two-shot companion piece to IYCSWIS, and chapter one has gone up. Chapter two is currently 6000 words and counting. This is currently on hiatus but will be completed at some point.

Summary: This is darker than the main story (IYCSWIS) and not only deals with the above issues, but also discuses suicide and self-harm explicitly (hence the M rating). People sensitive to such themes may find it distressing.

3) If You Could See What I See is currently in the process of being translated into French by the lovely Aelly. The link can be found on Aelly's page or directly on the following link:

/s/9893648/1/If-you-could-see-what-I-see-Fr

ABOUT ME

I love to write. Whether or not you love my writing is another matter entirely. I love well written, logical story lines. To my mind, the best plots always make sense and are in keeping with the personalities and traits of the characters they are built around. I also hate poor writing. Making a few careless errors is one thing (we're all human) but I try to avoid poor style and grammar.

Words are precious.

BACKGROUND

I was slightly put off the Potterverse after the end of Book 4. However, after Book 5, I was completely turned off. It was a whole year before I returned to read books 6 and 7. Needless to say, I was disappointed. However, two years ago I discovered Fanfic and found some wonderful stories that were logical, well-written and actually made sense. I was hooked. It took a while before I gathered the courage to try any fanfics of my own.

If You See What I See was originally going to be a once off and so I never really thought to build much of a profile. However, since it seems to be a little longer than I had anticipated, and since I have also made the decision to write a few more fanfics after I finish it, I thought it might be useful to share a little about my take on the Potterverse and its many characters.

I apologise if my views offend anyone, as this is not my intent. It is simply my take on things.

CHARACTERS:

Harry

I think this character has a lot of potential, which JKR just never tapped into. He was really nothing more than a sort of marionette puppet, yanked in several different directions. He also had several different personalities, depending on what was convenient for the story. I feel as if he never really got to grow up in the stories; his character became more and more inconsistent as the stories went on, especially in the later books. I mean, this is a boy who hates his fame, wants to be loved for himself, and yet winds up dating and ultimately marrying one of the most notorious 'Boy-Who-Lived' fangirls in the entire series. More to the point, he marries her with no real plot development, no explanation as to how they fell in love or how she has suddenly gotten close enough to him to know him for himself (something his close friends took many years to do, due to his emotionally reserved nature) or any reason which explains why he would suddenly be interested in her except for a bit of teenage attraction and jealousy. Hardly the basis of a lasting relationship. I feel as if he were simply pulled that way by JKR to compensate for the fact that she spent the first three books giving him a family and the next three taking it away, member by member. The so-called 'One Big Happy Weasley Family' was supposed to make up for the fact that the author systemically killed off almost every person he had ever considered as a parent. But honestly? It doesn't. It doesn't make up for the fact that his family is gone and he is still not actually a Weasley. He could be just as close with them by remaining what he was - a friend. So what does it achieve, in the end? Well, nothing really. Just an unrealistic and unlikely ending.

Hermione

As you've probably gathered from my writing, this is one of my two favourite characters in the series. The Hermione character is one I can relate to, being a bookworm myself, the majority of whose friends are male.

Hermione is a loyal and strong character, fiercely protective, and very much an idealist when it comes to justice. She is most certainly the most mature of the so called 'Trio', and is arguably more mature than most of the adults mentioned (Mrs Weasley comes to mind). So why on earth JKR chose to turn her into weak, watery, jealous and, dare I say it, idiotic character in the last two books is entirely beyond me. The only reason I can possibly think of is that the plot simply wouldn't have worked otherwise. For example, if Hermione had believed Harry's suspions about Draco during the HBP, as she usually would have, then something would have been done about it. She would either have exposed him, or found some other way to stop him. Let's face it- Draco is not the sharpest tool in the shed, particularly in this book. He's being blatantly obvious (almost as if he's a burglar sneaking about in striped suit and mask) and his attempts to kill Dumbledore are crude at best- even Harry has noticed. If he has noticed, then surely Hermione, easily the brightest and most observant (trap door anyone?) student at Hogwarts, would have detected it. But of course, if that happens, then the plot unravels- and the contention between Hermione and Harry ceases to exist.

The jealousy over the potions book also makes no sense and is not in keeping with Hermione's character. She's been pushing the boys for years to work harder and improve their grades, why on earth would she complain that Harry is finally doing so? Also, Hermione is not a jealous character. Why has she suddenly become a greedy and attention-seeking brat?

Hell, even in OOTP there are some MAJOR discrepancies in her character. Why on earth would she not write to Harry, just because Dumbledore told her not to? Since when has Hermione let anything stand in the way of her friendships? She broke the rules of time to rescue a convict and a condemned Hippogriff! She broke the rules in first year with Harry and Ron to try and stop Quirrell- despite strict instructions to the contrary from both McGonagall and Dumbledore. Both of these things and more, she did for love of her friendship with Harry. I can't honestly believe that this same girl would then ignore her best friend for three months after he has faced down an evil lord (who happens to have been resurrected in front of him), been tortured by said lord, seen the shades of his dead parents and witnessed the murder of a fellow student- just because the Headmaster told her not to. Hell, if nothing else, she would have used the blasted muggle post! It is simply inconsistent with her character. The reason it happened that way? Poor plot planning on JKR's part to make Harry feel isolated. Very disappointing.

The fact that Hermione wound up fancying (and ultimately marrying) Ron was the final nail in the coffin of this great character. Could somebody please explain to me why, precisely, a girl who has been constantly harassed and tormented by an idiotic and jealous boy who does nothing but argue with her and belittle her opinions, would suddenly fall in love with said boy? They have nothing whatsoever in common- except, perhaps, how irritating they find one another. They are polar opposites in almost every way- she is energetic and productive, he is lazy. She is brilliant and extremely intelligent and intellectual, he is...well, not. He is essentially interested only in Quiddich, which she doesn't really care about. She has passion, and wants to change things, right the wrongs of the world...and will more than likely go on to do in one form or another, being recognised for it in the process. He just laughs at her aims. Worst point? She is a high-achiever and will always do exceptionally well; he is jealous of anyone who is given recognition for their work and conveniently forgets that he has not done anything to earn the recognition for himself. He just belittles and lashes out at anyone who is more successful or famous than himself. Yule Ball? Tri-wizard? Ring any bells?

I'm sorry, but you'll never convince me that this is anything other than a very unhealthy relationship. That kind of disparity is hardly the recipe for a good marriage. To be honest, I can't even understand exactly HOW they would ever be attracted to each other in the first place.

Ron

To be honest, I don't have a lot to say about this character. He is lazy, immature and selfish. He is also jealous and disloyal. When the going gets tough, Ron gets going. He is essentially jealous of an orphan who has never known his parents. He wants great things (remember his vision in the Mirror of Erised), he wants to be recognised, but he is not actually willing to DO anything about it. He wants to be Head Boy, but doesn't bother improving his grades to do it. He got prefect by default, because the little old man in the tower didn't give it to the person who actually deserved it.

He wants to be Quiddich captain but doesn't even try out for the Team until his fifth year! You'd think that if he were really serious, he would have been training like mad and trying out from his second year onwards! I have no doubt that Harry would have helped him by lending him his broom until he was able to purchase one.

He wants more money, but does he try to do anything about it? Does he get a job during the summer, for example? No. He simply complains that Harry has a lot of money, ignoring the fact that Harry's parents had to die for him to have it. Ditto for the Cloak.

He was not a real friend. If my friends treated me like that...well, ouch.

Sirius

My other favourite character in the series, and again, I think JKR didn't really do him justice. This man is the ultimate Gryffindor. He is brave, loyal and selfless to the end. Yes, he lost his head once, but it was hardly surprising under the circumstances. The two people he considered his family were dead; betrayed by another family member. His only reason for rational thinking at that crucial moment (Harry) was taken away from him by Hagrid. He was torn with grief and betrayal, with no real reason to hold on- of course he was going to go after the traitor. Admittedly, his actions were irresponsible, but who thinks rationally when their family has been betrayed to their death, when they've died at the hand of a monster that every decent human being has pledged their lives to stopping?

Don’t even get me started on OOTP. Let’s recap, shall we? Sirius broke out of Azkaban to protect his godson, lived in a cave eating rats to be near him and protect him, risked being caught just to contact him by Floo and post…and suddenly decides not write him two useful words together after said godson saw a student murdered in front of him and witnessed the rebirth of the dark lord? Utterly inconsistent with Sirius’ character. The sulky, selfish way in which he is portrayed in the whole of the book is, quite frankly, poor writing and utterly unbelievable. I’m sorry if it sounds harsh, but it’s true. Sirius has shown time and time again how selfless he is and now all of a sudden we’re supposed to believe that he’s a sulky, selfish man who was almost hoping his godson would get expelled so he could stay home with him? That this man who was desperate to take Harry in would ignore him when he was in the same house? Furthermore, I don't understand this sudden compulsion to have Sirius act as though Harry were James Potter- I'm fairly certain that finding James dead at Godric's Hollow was pretty self-explanatory for Sirius. Besides which, throughout book four, Sirius is concerned for his godson and seems to have no problem identifying him as HARRY, a teenager in need of guidance. Why then, halfway through book five does Sirius suddenly begin to act as though he's a reincarnation of his dead father? It makes no sense and is totally inconsistent with his established character. I'm sorry but but this is just very poor writing. Forcing the characters to further an unfeasible plot is a no-no.

A brief side note: I cannot stand fics where Sirius is made out to be no more than some sort of prank-obsessed idiot.A penchant for practical jokes is one thing, but I think making that his sole defining characteristic fails to really capture the essence of the character. Sirius is a brilliant and intelligent man, and fics that forget that really miss out on a lot.

Molly Weasley

The long and the short of it is that I don’t like this character. Don’t get me wrong- she tries to take care of Harry in her own way, she is brave in her own way, but she is also stubborn, ignorant, nosy and over-opinionated. The way she spoke to Sirius so spitefully in his own house, out of pure jealousy at his role in Harry’s life, is telling in and of itself. The way in which she believed Rita Skeeter’s article on Hermione without question is also telling.

She is impractical in her response to certain events, as though she believes it impossible that Harry & Co. have ever been in any real danger because they are just kids. Therefore, anything which has happened to them simply cannot be that dangerous. For example, when her sons tell her that they had to mount a midnight rescue of Harry, that there were bars on his window and that he was being starved, her response is to put more butter on his bread. I don’t know about you, but most people I know would be beating down the doors to the ministry to alert law enforcement of child abuse, or at the very least speaking to Dumbledore and demand he be moved somewhere else. Feeding Harry up will only go so far. Besides which, when the same boy is targeted almost every year by a despotic psychopath who refuses to die, most people would assume that is better to train and educate said boy, and keep him ‘in the know’ rather than simply hope that the bad man will go away. Her insistence on keeping Harry out of things is more likely to get him killed than anything else.

I also DON’T like the fact that she thought it was OK to tell two teenage girls that she brewed a love potion as a young girl, or that it was apparently funny. How is chemically tampering with someone’s emotions either funny or OK?

Dumbledore

This is a very complex character. Whilst I don’t believe that he is inherently evil, I do believe that he is very flawed. He seems to think it perfectly alright to manipulate people like pieces on a chessboard, and even prepare to sacrifice the main piece (without telling him until the last minute) as long as his motive is good. I've said it before and I’ll say it again (as have a lot of other people)- the end does not justify the means. He keeps far too many things from far too many people. He had an entire order of trustworthy people and he chose to entrust the secret of Riddle’s Horcruxes to a barely 16-year-old Harry, who then takes off to look for them at 17. Dumbledore had evidence of at least one Horcrux in Harry’s second year- why did he not begin to investigate the matter further then? On top of which, why was he not upfront with Harry about his fate when he finally did decide to tell him the prophecy? Even if Harry did have to be sacrificed (which I don’t accept seeing as how I don’t believe the Horcruxes are more than a poor plot tool), he should have been able to knowingly make the choice, he should have been told long before he was fighting in a battle with other lives he feels are on his head. That is the key problem with this character- he takes it upon himself to make decisions for people without consulting them and it often has disastrous consequences. Just look at Harry’s life at the Dursleys. He never once checked up on him or considered he could be wrong in his assumption that Harry would be safe there. Dumbledore may not be evil but even a benevolent dictator is still a dictator.

Ginny

There really isn't much on this character in canon, and what there is, isn't exactly likeable. She's a rabid fangirl (a fact that seems to remain constant throughout the series), she never actually gets to know Harry, has a bad temper, is slightly spoiled and likes to hex people when they annoy her. On the whole, not the best match for the main character of the series.

Snape

Whilst it can be novel to read fics in which Snape is suddenly revealed to have been the best of friends with the Potters all along, or under the influence of mind-altering spells from Dumbledore, in reality, his behaviour towards Harry and the other students shows him exactly for what he is: a bitter, vengeful and selfish man. He was a death eater- that means that he, at one point, committed unspeakable acts which would make most decent people sick to the stomach- and which would be really hard to come back from. I also think that changing sides out of guilt, for turning Voldemort's gaze to the Potters, does not change the fact that he cared only for having Lily. Please note, he did not care about Lily, only about having her. He did not care about her happiness, or that he would have condemned the man she loved and her child to death at the hands of a maniac. He did not care that he had joined a group of people who considered her and others like her to be subhuman and were dedicated to removing them from the population. I think these actions are very telling about the kind of person he is. Even after her death, he tortured her son for six years. Is that the action of a man who loved a woman? Is this his tribute to her memory? The 'keeping her son safe' excuse does not hold true- because when was Harry ever safe at Hogwarts? Did Snape ever lift a finger to save him apart from the very first Quiddich match (which we know was out of obligation to James Potter)? Did he stop Harry from being exposed to Voldemort? Did he stop the Basilisk? Did he not try to get Sirius kissed without even hearing him out, despite what Harry, the son of the couple he supposedly betrayed, was saying? He put his own revenge on Sirius above catching the person (Pettigrew) who led Voldemort to Godric's Hollow so that he could kill the Potters, one of whom was Snape's so called true love...well, it speaks for itself doesn't it? The list goes on and on...

PREFERRED PAIRINGS

Hermione/Harry

Hermione/Sirius* Provided Hermione is an adult.

Hermione/Remus * Provided Hermione is an adult.

Hermione/Cedric (it's an interesting one that's not very common, but I liked it)

General Stuff