Allow me to tell you a bit about myself:

I'm female, 20 years old. I'm the first woman to have landed on the moon and to have also multi-tasked whilst there by doing my laundry (and yes, colours and whites were separated). I've written countless novels which have all topped the New York Times Best Sellers List. My books have returned a profit of $1,000,000 a pop and each is currently being signed off for movie adaptations. I will be starring as the lead in every film. Also as the love interest.

In twenty four hours I not only read every Wheel of Time book, but also built a house with my bare hands - foundations to chimney.

I mastered the harp, piano, violin and harmonica all before the age of six. Before the age of ten I could speak fifteen languages fluently, including Arabic, French, Swahili and Klingon. By the age of thirteen I'd discovered a cure for cancer only to have lost it in a card game at fifteen. Thankfully I conquered my gambling addiction at sixteen by winning a poker tournament - this gave me enough money to live on for the rest of my life, staying every night in a five star hotel, thus eradicating the need to gamble ever again. Of course, now at 20, that money is gone. Hence the reason why I've turned to writing. Clearly a smart career choice.

One of my greatest achievements was climbing Mount Everest in my sleep, wearing nothing but a bathing suit. I then surfed my way to the bottom. Because I'm just that badass.

I've had dinner with Jane Austen, Barak Obama, Sailor Moon, Mr T, Big Bird and Gandalf - all at the same time. I cooked a twenty course meal.

But the one thing I've not done in my whole entire life is write fan fiction.

Good thing I'm starting now.