We are all a little weird, and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.

-Dr. Seuss

You have been so fortunate as to stumble across the profile of nargles lurk in the mistletoe: fanfiction author, obsessive fangirl, and proud member of Ravenclaw house. You may call me Josephine.

MY FANDOMS

Harry Potter/Percy Jackson and the Olympians/Doctor Who/Avatar: The Last Airbender/The Legend of Korra/Artemis Fowl/Howl's Moving Castle/The Caster Chronicles/The Avengers/The Hunger Games/Lorien Legacies/Maximum Ride

SHIPS I SAIL (in a rather unparticular order)

Percabeth/AmyXRory/Ronmione/RemusXTonks/TenXRose/ElevenXRiver/Kataang/HarryXGinny/RidleyXLink/Hartemis/HowlXSophie/BolinXEska/EthanXLena/Fax/SarahXJohn/MarinaXEight/SixXSam/LilyXJames/LivXJohn/ChoXCedric/SilenaXBeckendorf/ZukoXMai/Makkora/SokkaXSuki/Frazel/LeoXCalypso/FredXKatie/BillXFleur/KatnissXPeeta/FinnickXAnnie/ClarisseXChris/GroverXJuniper/ClintXNatasha

Why don't I just list all the stars in the galaxy while I'm at it?

Favorite Artists

NEEDTOBREATHE/Regina Spektor/Parachute/Lelia Broussard/Ingrid Michaelson

You will also find me on...

Tumblr: http:///

Pinterest: http:///narglesoup/

Polyvore: http:///

Pottermore: http:///en/profile/shadowdream16039

Here's the story I wrote for the Hogwarts Online II Challenge of April 2013 (ch. 1 is mine): http://www.fanfiction.ws/s/9382334/1/Mirror-Mirror-on-the-Wall

HP
Love: Lupin, Luna Lovegood, the Golden Trio, Neville, Lily, the Silver Trio

Don't like: PETER PETTIGREW (filthy little traitor), Bellatrix, Umbridge, Lavender
Fascinated by: Snape

DW

Love: Rory, Amy, the Doctor, Rose, Donna, River, the Ood
Don't like: Martha
Fascinated by: River

PJO
Love: Percy, Annabeth, Hazel, Rachel, Thalia, Piper, Jason, Bianca, Leo, Mrs. O'Leary, and really everyone else
Don't like: you're kidding, right?
Fascinated by: Luke Castellan

AF
Love: Arty!!!, Holly, Foaly, No. 1
Don't like: Orion, Minerva, Trouble
Fascinated by: Mulch

ATLA
Love: Zuko, Sokka, Toph, Katara, Aang, Iroh, Suki, Momo, Appa, Mai, Azula (she's a great villain, okay?), King Bumi, the other Earth King, the Earth King's bear, Katara and Sokka's dad, the cabbage man, OH I JUST LOVE THEM ALL
Don't like: the Dai Li
Fascinated by: Zuko and his family

MR

Love: Fangggggg
Don't like: DYLAN
Fascinated by: Angel

CC
Love: Ridley, Link, the Sisters, Marian
Don't like: Savannah, Emily, John's suicidal impulses
Fascinated by: the entire town of Gatlin, Izabel Duchannes

Avengers

Love: Loki, Tony, Coulson, Thor
Don't like: Justin Hammer, The Abomination, Christina the reporter
Fascinated by: Loki

LL
Love: Nine, Sam, Marina
Don't like: Five :C
Fascinated by: the Cepans

THG
Love: Finnick, Peeta, Haymitch, Cinna, Effie, Johanna
Don't like: the Careers of the 74th HG, President Coin
Fascinated by: they're all reasonably fascinating

Things to do in an elevator:

Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

Meow occasionally.

Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.

Say "DING!" at each floor.

Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.

Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.

Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

Swat at flies that don't exist.

Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.

Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"

Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style "is that your final answer?".

Tell people that you can see their aura.

When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."

Stare at one person for awhile until they get uncomfortable then say, "Oh my. The Nargles are really attracted to you. You should see someone about that."

How to maintain a healthy level of insanity:

Sit in your car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars; see if they slow down.

Page yourself over the intercom. Do not disguise your voice.

Every time some one asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.

Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance Of The Prophecy" or "in the garden with a meat cleaver"

As often as possible, skip instead of walking.

Order diet water whenever you go out with a serious face.

Specify that your drive-through order is "TO GO".

Sing along at the opera.

When cash comes out of the ATM, yell "I WON! I WON!"

Things To Do While In Walmart:

Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" We've got a 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"

Pass out bananas to random people and snicker loudly when they take one.

Buy 350 cans of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!!" when the cashier tells you the price.

Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask people where you can find the CDs.

Start a fish-stick fight.

Walk up to random people, give them bear hugs, and say very loudly that you missed them and they never really did get that dandruf shampoo you recommended.

Jump in a cart and have a friend push you while you scream "The Death Eaters are coming!"

Attempt to fly off a high shelf.

Run up to an employee and ask "Do you like me?" If they say no, yell out "You broke my heart, you evil monster! I'm telling the manager!" and start throwing canned tomatoes at them. If they say yes just to get you away, pat their shoulder, and say "What a shame because that girl over there" point to a random person "was just about to ask you to dinner."

Throw confetti on random people walking into the store.

Whisper "I know your 'little' secret" to people in the checkout lines.

Stand inside the freezer in the frozen food section.

Walk up to employees and whisper "I saw dead people...they want me to take you away...to aisle eight..."

See how many cans of frosting you can open and thoroughly lick without getting caught.

Go to a person with a shopping cart full of merchandise and demand a ride in the basket.

Practice your juggling with a few Grade-A eggs.

Squeeze the cream-filled doughnuts.

Walk into the baby clothes section, pick up a pink baby dress, then throw it down and run away screaming that the pink bunnies of doom came back.

Bow to the display of T.Vs in the electronics section.

See if you can move the bottom can from the gigantic canned beet pyramid.

Ways to Annoy people at the Movie Theatre:
Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"
During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?"
Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.
Yell out what is going to happen.
Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is.
Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row.
Wear 3D glasses to a 2D movie. Complain loudly how bad the effects are.
Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling.
Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel.
Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming.
Bring a beach ball. Toss it around.
Try to start a wave.
Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window.
Sing with the theme music.
Bring and use your own air freshener.
At the ticket booth, request tickets for old movies, such as, "I'll have two tickets for Back to the Future ."
Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off.
Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes.
Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show.
Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!"
Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie.
Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen.
Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late.
Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is.
Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?"
Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie.
Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen.
Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!", jump on the floor, and cover your head.
Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats.
Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by themself.
Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle.
Before the movie begins, tape fart cusions to various chairs in the theater room.
Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn.
Bring a water gun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!"
Before the commercials start and people are just coming in and shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!"
Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting "Get your popcorn, peanuts!"
Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can here it, like when the killer's name is going to be said.
Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones.
Bring a pager or cellphone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one.
Say "Shhhhh" every 5 minutes.
Pass by a room that's showing a movie you've already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the ending.

WHAT TO DO IN AN EXAM YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO FAIL ANYWAYS:

Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. Be creative.

Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

Every 5 minutes stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "The light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."

Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. Strike a pose first for added effect.

Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.

Dress like the professor.

Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.

THINGS YOU NEVER WANT TO HEAR WHILE UNDERGOING SURGERY:

1. "Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy."

2. "Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop."

3. "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"

4. "Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!"

5. "Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?"

6. "Hand me that...uh...that uh...thingy."

7. "Oh no! I just lost my Rolex."

8. "Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?"

9. "There go the lights again..."

10. "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hey, the guy's got two of them."

11. "What do you mean you want a divorce?"

12. "Ooooops!"

95 percent of teens would cry if they saw Justin Bieber at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this if you are part of the 5 that would sit there with popcorn and a camera and yell "DO A FLIP".

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your head off.

98 percent of teens can walk without running into walls. If you're in the 2 percent that can't, post this in your profile.

On Sears hairdryer:

Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions:
"Put on fork and eat."
(No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's just a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for an iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)

On children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds with colds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On artificial bacon:
"Real artificial bacon bits".
(So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to...)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On a bag of peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

On a knife sharpener:

Caution: knives are sharp.

(Really? I had no idea.)

On shin pads for cyclists:
Shin guards cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.

(But I thought they were immunifiers!)

On a take away coffee cup:
Caution: Hot beverages are hot.

(Okay, I'm not even gonna comment on this one.)

Emergency safety procedures at a US summer camp:
In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood proceed uphill quickly.

(Excellent logic there.)

On the bottom of a cola bottle:
Do not open here.

(But opening it on the top seems so cliche.)

On a box of aspirin:
Do not take if allergic to aspirin.

(*Snape voice* Obviously.)

On a bottle of laundry detergent:
Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine.

(Wheeeeeee!)

On a muffin packet:
Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.

(Uh...yeah.)

On a ketchup bottle:
Instructions: Put on food.

(Really? You Earthlings put red gloop on your food?)

On a bottle of water:
Open bottle before drinking.

(Hmmm...nothing seems to be coming out of this bottle.)

A car park sign:
Entrance only. Do not enter.

(So, is it opposite day, or...)

Rules on a tram in Prague:

Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be persecuted.

(Aw, I thought I was supposed to do the haunting!)

On a bottle of baby lotion:
Keep away from children.

(Well, to be fair, babies aren't children.)

In a car handbook:
In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then close doors.

(But that sounds so complicated!)

Directions for replacing battery: replace old battery with a new one.

(...as opposed to saving all the old batteries and using them as new ones.)

On a birthday card for a one year old:
Not suitable for children aged under 36 months or less.

(That card must be specially designed)

In a hotel bedroom:
Please do not turn on TV except when in use.

(Well that makes a lot of sense.)

In a lift in a Japanese hotel:
Push this button in case anything happens.

(Oh no! That guy just scratched his nose! I'd better push the button!)

On a can of Spray paint:
Do not spray in your face.

(But what if I'm out of face paint?)

On a TV remote:
Not Dishwasher safe.

(But it gets so dusty...)

On a bottle of hair dye:

Do not use as Ice Cream topping.

(Mmm, color-defining)

In a dishwasher manual:
Do not allow children to play in dishwasher.

(But my dishes are my children...)

On a toaster:
Do not use underwater.

(HELP! I'M DROWNING!...I could really go for some toast.)

On a container of Scoopable cat litter-"safe to use around pets" (I should hope so.)

On the warning label of a duster-"This product is not defined flammable by the consumer products safety commission regulations. However this product can be ignited under certain circumstances" (That's right, who doesn't use their dusters as kindling?)

On a mattress:Do not attempt to swallow.

(To all you people with ridiculously big mouths, that is a tribute!)

On a road sign-"Caution: water on road during rain."

(What was your first clue)

Girls

are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.
The boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

Did you know...
1) If you play a trick on someone once, they will fall for it again as long as you keep a good space of time between the incidents.
2) No matter how many times you pick your nose, the boogers will never go away.
3) You'll be more popular if you try not to act popular than if you try to act popular.
4) The bigger the house, the bigger the chance of it being haunted.
5) If everyone believes that a wall is not solid, it won't be solid.
6) However, pushing on the wall and saying that it is not solid doesn't help.
7) People will be impressed if you use big words.
8) Teenagers will just stare and try to comprehend it.
9) Being a nerd may make you unpopular in high school, but in the future you can order Chicken McNuggets from the popular kids.
10) 10 percent of people will leave this alone.
11) 90 percent will repost this just for the heck of it.

Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son ?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, you believe in GOD ?

Student : Absolutely, sir.

Professor : Is GOD good ?

Student : Sure.

Professor: Is GOD all powerful ?

Student : Yes.

Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent.)

Professor: You can’t answer, can you ? Let’s start again, young fella. Is GOD good?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Is satan good ?

Student : No.

Professor: Where does Satan come from ?

Student : From … GOD …

Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?

Student :Yes

Professor: So who created evil ?

(Student did not answer.)

Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, who created them ?

(Student had no answer.)

Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen GOD?

Student : No, sir.

Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?

Student : No , sir.

Professor: Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD, smell your GOD? Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter?

Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.

Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?

Student : Yes.

Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.

Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Professor: Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as cold?

Professor: Yes.

Student : No, sir. There isn't.

(The lecture theater became very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.)

Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?

Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, were you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?

Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man ?

Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good GOD and a bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.)

Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class was in uproar.)

Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?

(The class broke out into laughter. )

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face

unfathomable.)

Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.

Student : That is it sir … Exactly ! The link between man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.

Mr. Harry Potter,

Thank you for remaining strong when we couldn’t be.

Mr. Ronald Weasley,
Thank you for always coming back.

Miss Hermione Granger,
Thank you for having a good heart, and forgiving those who should be forgiven.

Mr. Fred Weasley,
Thank you for the memories.

Mr. George Weasley,.

Thank you for finding humor when we could barely smile.

Mr. Albus Dumbledore,
Thank you for lighting the way and guiding us.

Mr. and Mrs. Weasley,
Thank you for all you sacrificed

Mr. Sirius Black and Mr. Remus Lupin,
Thank you for your loyalty.

Mr. Rubeus Hagrid,
Thank you for your undying compassion.

Mr. Neville Longbottom,
Thank you for your bravery.

Miss Luna Lovegood,
Thank you for your wise words.

Miss Ginny Weasley,
Thank you for your bravery through it all.

Dobby,
Thank you for showing us the value of friendship.

Mr. James and Mrs. Lily Potter,

Thank you for giving your life for your only son.

Miss Minerva McGonagall,
Thank you for understanding your students and helping them with their problems.

Mr. Severus Snape,
Thank you for your love.

And to Mrs. Joanne Kathleen Rowling,

THANK YOU FOR CREATING THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF HARRY POTTER.

Harry Potter-

1090739 words

3363 pages

199 chapters

17 hours and

14 minutes

8 movies

7 books

1 story

Normal World: Own a pencil

Wizard World: Own a wand

Normal World: Accomplishment to be able to name all Kardashians

Wizard World: Accomplishment to be able to name all Weasleys

Normal World: Scared of terrorists, robbers, etc.

Wizard World: Scared of dementors, Voldemort, etc.

Normal World: Go to the mall for all your shopping needs.

Wizard World: Go to Diagon Alley for your shopping needs.

Normal World: Teens want a car.

Wizard World: Teens want a broom.

Normal World: Talk back to teacher and you get detention.

Wizard World: Talk back to teacher and you get turned into a frog.

Normal World: Play football.

Wizard World: Play Quidditch.

Normal World: Has dollars, nickels, pennies, etc.

Wizard World: Has galleons, knuts, sickles, etc.

Normal World: Had Hitler

Wizard World: Had Voldemort

Normal World: Has celebrities like Taylor Swift.

Wizard World: Has celebrities like Harry Potter.

Everyone keeps saying that they don't want Harry Potter to end. But the thing itself will never end, as long as we all remember and pass down the legend that is Harry Potter. What's ending is the waiting in line for books, or packed midnight showings of the movies. There will be no more count downs, and no more going to the movies theater 5 times to see the movie, even though you memorized it all the 1st time. No more premieres and nothing new to talk about. But we will all celebrate Harry's birthday on July 31, and celebrate Wizarding Independence on May 2. We will go to the WWoHP and celebrate Harry Potter in general. And watch the movies over again until we die, and then we will take our love for everything J.K Rowling created with us in our hearts. Long live Harry Potter! If you are a Harry Potter fan, and you agree with this, copy and paste this to your profile! (As Neville said, this isn't over! NEVILLE FOREVER)

I am a proud supporter of Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare! GO DOBBY!

When Life Gives You Lemons...

-Who is life and where is he getting all these lemons to throw at people?!

-When life gives you lemons… LEMON FIGHT!

-Life gave you lemons? Ha! I got strawberries…

-When life hands you lemons, see if you can trade it for a melon, than trade that for a plate, trade the plate for a computer mouse, trade the computer mouse for a keyboard, trade the keyboard for a webcam, trade the webcam for a router, trade the router for a tv, trade the tv for a Xbox, trade the Xbox for a laptop, trade the laptop for a rare expensive lawn gnome, trade the lawn gnome for a riding lawn mower, trade the lawn mower for a car, trade the car for an empty lot, trade the empty lot for some lumber and supplies…yeah I don’t know where this is going, but at least I made you waste your time reading it.

-When life throws you lemons throw them back and tell life to make its own freaking lemonade!!

-When life gives you lemons…JUGGLE!

-When life hands you lemons ….. ask how in the world it found your house.

-When life attempts to give you lemons, reject them and ask for a bottle of ready-made lemonade instead. It'll save you time!

-When life gives you lemons, make s'mores and let the world wonder how you did it.

-When life gives you lemons… re-gift them

Nine out of the ten voices in my head agree that I'm insane. The tenth is off chasing cars.

The Hogwarts motto is draco dormiens nunquam titillandus- never tickle a sleeping dragon. Wise words indeed.

Pick ten ships without reading the questions.

1. Percabeth

2. Ronmione

3. Rory/Amy

4. Remus/Tonks

5. Zuko/Mai

6. Jasper

7. Jily

8. Howl/Sophie

9. Silena/Beckendorf

10. Thaluke

1: Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 6?

Jason/Piper- I honestly didn't care about them until tHoH, but now they are very heavily shipped

2: Have you ever read a FanFiction about 2?

Ronmione- only a couple million...

3: Has a picture of 4 ever been your screen saver/profile picture/tumblr avatar?

Remus/Tonks? No.

4: If 7 were to suddenly break up today, what would your reaction be?

James and Lily are dead.

5: Why is 1 so important?

Because it’s freaking PERCABETH!! Enough said.

6: Is 9 a funny ship or a serious ship?

Silena/Beckendorf- very, very serious.

7: Out of all of your ships listed, which ship has the most chemistry?

:O I can’t believe you’re doing this to me. YOU CAN’T ASK THAT QUESTION!! noghqreaubgiuawhngarhgqurhgreuguhahurwhuighywhuyPercabeth

8: Out of all of the ships, which ship has the strongest bond?

You did it again. You freaking DID IT AGAIN. Rory and Amy, but SERIOUSLY STOP THAT

9: How many times have you read/watched 10’s fandom?

(Thaluke) Well, I've only read the PJO books about 52 million times...

10: Which ship has lasted the longest?

Rory and Amy were together for 2000 years.

11: How many times, if ever, has 6 broken up?

Jason/Piper- NEVER

12: If the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive, 2 or 8?

Well, Ron and Hermione have more fighting experience than Howl and Sophie...

13: Did 7 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason?

Lily was in denial for a while...

14: Is 10 cannon?

Thaluke? Erm, no, not exactly

15: If all ten ships were put into a couples’ Hunger Games, which couple would win?

No. No. You’re NOT asking me this.

Um, well... I... uh... Percabeth, Ronmione, Rory/Amy, Remus/Tonks, Jasper, and Thaluke are the couples with fighters on both sides, so I'm automatically going to assume those two are at the top of the running. Ronmione and Remus/Tonks fight with magic, while the others fight with blades, so I'm assuming they'll try to fight those who fight with similar weapons and technique first, so out of the magic users side... Remus is older and not in the best shape, and probably very unwilling to kill children, so his ship goes down. On the swordfighters' side, we have a bunch of CHB friends who probably made an alliance, but their weapons are useless against mortals, whereas they can be affected by Rory and Amy's mortal steel, so down go the demigods. Ron and Hermione are now facing off against Amy and Rory. Let's weigh our contestants- Ron and Hermione are the heroes of the Second Wizarding War, and do have magic to assist them. However, let's remember that Amy once was trapped in a quarantine facility for 36 years during which time she made her own sonic screwdriver and became a swordsmaster with the ability to take out a squadron of robots in a single swing, so I don't doubt her abilities, and Rory has guns that come out of his hands. They're the actual fighters, not Ron and Hermione. The victors are Amy and Rory.

16: Has anybody ever tried to sabotage 5’s ship?

Zuko/Mai- Zuko because he's an idiot

17: If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break up forever or else she’d break them all up forever, which ship would you sink?

Whaaaaatt??? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Hogwarts School Rules:

1.) I will not sing "We're Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office.

2) Seamus Finnigan is not "after me lucky charms"

3) House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers

4) My headmaster's name is Albus Dumbledore, not "Gandalf”

5) A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly.

6) I will not go into the forbidden forest looking for Charlie the Unicorn

7) Despite my personal beliefs, Quidditch would not be improved by the introduction of muggle firearms.

8) I will not test my Potions assignments by pouring them in Snape's drink

9) - Especially not all of them at once

10) I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death.

11) I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord.

12) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm.

13) Headmaster Dumbledore is of no relation to Willy Wonka.

14) I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort.

15) Mad-Eye Moody knows his eye is creepy, he does not need to be told... again.

16) Yes, the Great Hall is extremely large, but Quidditch is an outside sport.

17) The song "Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead" is never, ever appropriate.

18) -Especially in reference to Professor Umbridge.

19) Professor Lupin does not know anyone by the name of Jacob Black.

20) –Even though he was friends with someone named Sirius Black.

21) I will not recite lines from Potter Puppet Pals, as it is awkward and rude.

22) –Especially not during meal times.

23) I will not yell "Hey look It's Lord Voldemort!" at Hogsmeade.

24) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches.

25) I will not send Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas.

26) I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snape’s private chambers to watch him sing I Will Survive in the mirror, as it is disturbing.

27) "Oo ee, oo ah ah, ting tang, walla walla bing bang" is not an actual spell.

28) Gryffindor's sword is not to be used to patrol the hallways.

29) Yelling “to infinity, and BEYOND!” was only funny the first time I took off on my broom.

30) Making a slinky go from the top of the astronomy tower to the ground level is not an appropriate pastime.

31) I will not sweep the Gryffindor common room with Harry Potter's prized Firebolt.

32) Asking "How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" and walking away is only funny the first time.

33) First-years should not be encouraged to befriend the Whomping Willow.

34) I will not put books of muggle fairy tales in the history section of the library.

35) Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.

36) A time turner is not a flux capacitator, and I should therefore not install one in any Muggle cars.

37) I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween.

38) I will not run through the halls shouting “Snape kills Dumbledore!”

39) There is no such thing as “Wizard Swears” even if I have seen it on Potter Puppet Pals and I should not shout them in the Great Hall.

40) –Nor should I teach them to first years.

41) I will not "borrow" a prefects' badge for Peeves.

42) I am not allowed out of my house dorm when anyone from the Ministry of Magic visits Hogwarts.

43) Centaurs do not give free rides to kids and I should stop telling the first years otherwise.

44) "42" is not the answer to every O.W.L or N.E.W.T exam paper.

44) Neither is "Yo Mamma".

45) Dumbledore is not Santa, he does not wish for me to sit on his knee and demand presents, especially not in June.

46) Singing “The Mysterious Ticking Noise” in the library is rude and annoying.

47) –Especially if I get everyone in Gryffindor to sing with me.

48) –Especially if I get everyone in Gryffindor to sing with me and form a large circle around Professor Snape.

49)- Especially if I get everyone in Gryffindor to sing with me and form a large circle around Professor Snape and refuse to let him out of the circle until he finds the pipe bomb.

50) The fact that there are only three unforgivable curses does not mean that every other curse is "pretty much forgivable".

51) Shouting random Latin phrases while waving my wand is not acceptable charms research.

52) I will not shove professor Snape into a wall repeatedly while shouting “Bother” over and over again.

53) -Nor will I enchant the Whomping Willow to do so.

54) Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'.

55) The Muggle known as George W. Bush is not related to or working for Lord Voldemort in any way, and I am to stop insinuating that he is.

56) Singing 99 Bottles of Potion on the wall nonstop repeatedly will result in a detention.

57) Mrs. Norris does not like playing with blast-ended skrewts.

58) I will not swap Draco's broom with one out of Filch's broom cupboard.

59) I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice.

60) -I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro.

61) -It was not an honest mistake.

62) I will not shout “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” every time I pass Dumbledore in a corridor.

63) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda.

64) I am not the wicked witch of the west.

65) -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either.

66) I will not melt if water is poured over me.

67) -Neither will Professor Umbridge.

68) "To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.

69) Asking Snape if his sister’s ok after that house fell on her is tasteless and will earn you a month of detention.

70) Shouting “Abracadabra” can be misheard and start a panic.

71) Dragons are not permitted inside the castle, even if you are having trouble starting a fire in the common room fireplace.

72) I will not discuss my theory that Voldemort and Michael Jackson went to the same plastic surgeon.

73) I will not loudly tell Hermione that “THE MARAUDER’S MAP ISN’T SUPPOSED TO BE USED FOR STALKING LOCKHART!” in front of a large group of Slytherins.

74) –Even if she is stalking Lockhart.

75) I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.

76) Bringing fortune cookies to Divination class does not count for extra credit.

77) I am not allowed to declare an official Hug A Slytherin Day.

78) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.

79) Getting everyone in the Great Hall to do the Time Warp will not earn me any house points

80) I will NEVER, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, give Peeves firecrackers.

Ways to Annoy Severus Snape

1. Send him brightly colored socks for Christmas.

2. Put a poster of Batman in the Potions classroom.

3. Charm an object to play the 'Mission Impossible' theme whenever he is with the Death Eaters or the Order of the Pheonix.

4. And the Imperial March when ever he walks into a room.

5. Make it indestructible.

6. Send him love notes signed Delores Umbridge.

7. During dinner.

8. Dose Umbridge with love potion keyed to Snape.

9. Take pictures.

10. Send one copy to Dumbledore and one to Voldemort.

11. Charm another object to record their reactions.

12. Send copies to Snape.

13. Record his reaction.

14. Act like he is an army drill sergeant (e.g. Every time he gives you an order, reply 'sir, yes, sir!' with a salute. Ex: He tells you to make a potion, your answer would be 'Beginning to make potion, sir!'

15. Start calling him 'Darth Snape'.

16. Remind him to use the Force.

17. Burst into the classroom freaking out. When he asks what's wrong, 'try' to speak, 'fail' and faint into his arms.

18. Proceed to 'forget' how you got to the classroom.

19. Have a friend take pictures.

20. Send a copy to Teen Witch Weekly.

21. Make sure they put it on the front.

22. Send a copy to Snape.

23. Ask him to test your new experimental potion.

24. Slip it into his drink at dinner when he refuses.

25. Take pictures. Lots of them.

Annabeth : It's hard to believe you can teleport using a stick.

Hermione : This isn't a stick. It's a wand. You're one to talk. A cap that makes you disappear?

Annabeth : It's simple physics. Now tell me: what is the science on the splitting of souls?

Hermione : Only after you explain to me the lack of DNA in all of you people.

Annabeth : After you explain how to make things float with words and a wand.

Hermione : After you explain how a watch can become a giant shield.

Annabeth : ...

Hermione : ...

Annabeth : Well, at least our boyfriends don't sparkle.

Hermione : Right!

Bella : HEY!

Shoutout to my super amazingly awesome friends DropWing, Girl with a Dragon Patronus, kitkatkatkatherine, MaxPercyVlad99, once upon a kiss, and SilverAquaTrident (in alphabetical order so as not to offend any of these friends, who are equal parts super, amazing, and awesome) for being super, amazing, awesome, and my friends! I love you guys!

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

Dear Yahoo, I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying... Sincerely, Google

Dear Noah, We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5. Sincerely, Unicorns

Dear Impossible, Screw you. I just made a campfire underwater. Sincerely, Spongebob

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I see regular people!

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

"Shut up voices or I'll poke you with a spork."

The best place to hide is in plain sight.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.

"Come to the dark side! We have cookies!"

I call you squishy and you shall be mine. You shall be my squishy!

"Right, you've got a crooked sort of cross…That means you're going to have 'trials and suffering'--sorry about that--but there's a thing that could be a sun…hang on…that means 'great happiness'…so you're going to suffer but be very happy…"

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Slinky plus escalator equals endless fun.

I’m so clever that sometimes I don’t even know what I’m saying

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

You think nothing's impossible? Try slamming a revolving door.

It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?

Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional...

I'm not random, i just have many thou- OH A SQUIRREL!

There is no "I" in TEAM but the is an "I" in PIE and there is a "PIE" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM.

The world is full of crazy people. They made me their leader

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.

I do everything the Rice Krispies tell me to do.

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

There are three types of people in the world: people that can count, and people that can't.

Best friends are the people who know all about you and still put up with you.

Save the Earth! It's the only planet with chocolate!

My best friend's the kind of person that will break silence at my funeral by screaming "KUNG POW CHICKEN"

There was a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line now.

Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.

Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is GOING somewhere.

BRB, I'm busy trying to jump off the roof with the kitchen broom.

Be nice to losers. One day they will be cool!

I brake for the invisible creatures that only I can see.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Stop the garlic! Save the vamps!

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

I have CDO. It's like OCD but all of the letters are in alphabetical order...like they should be.

It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

If you believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

My friends are the type of people who would try to drown a fish.

I dream of a better world, where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling!?

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If we go to school to learn, and learning is knowledge, and knowledge is power, and power is corruption, and corruption is crime, and crime is bad, then WHY do we go to school?

If you're reading this then you're not dead. Good for you.

Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.

I ROCK! Guitar hero told me.

I tried being normal, but I didn't like it.

Help! I've fallen and I can't... hey, nice carpet!

Out of my mind. Be back in five minutes.

Normality will be restored as soon as we figure out what it is.

Making you laugh until your stomach hurts is what friends are for.

You always get what's coming to you. Unless it gets lost in the mail.

Flying is not inherently dangerous- crashing is.

The trouble with real life is that there is no background music

I have not lost my mind; its backed up on a disk somewhere

Beware the letter 'G'. It is the end of everything.

Forecast for tonight: darkness

If you try to fail and succeed, which one did you do?

I am reading a most interesting book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

On a scale of 1 to crazy I'm a penguin.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

I see no good reason to act my age.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that thing up in two seconds. When I play Rock, Paper, Scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!" Rock beats paper. Always. But since we live in a world where Paper may beat rock, use Cannonball; it makes a big hole in paper.

Don't follow my footsteps, I tend to run into walls and off the occasional cliff.

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at people you hate.

If people were all meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters.

Anyone else having trouble getting to Narnia?

I just love that 1% of germs that NOTHING can seem to get rid of...

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

I'm not as random as you think I salad.

Maybe i should eat some make-up so i can be pretty on the inside...

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.

It's okay, Pluto. I'm not a planet either.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

I've used up all of my sick days so I'm calling in dead.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

People who don't know me think I'm quiet. People who do wish I was.

I didn't slap you, I high-fived your face.

Haikus are random

They never make any sense

Refrigerator

Procrastinators: the leaders of tomorrow.

The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen!

My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it’s gone.

To err is human. To arr is pirate.

We're not retreating! We're advancing in a different direction!

Wanna know how to keep an idiot busy? Take him into a round room and tell him to sit in a corner.

In a world of cheerios, be a frootloop!

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

If aliens are looking for intelligent life, why are you scared?!

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

DEATH: the number 1 killer in the U.S...tell your friends.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

Automatic doors make me feel like a jedi!

At this moment, you're the oldest you've ever been. Pretty deep huh?

Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.

Hey! Your sock is untied.

"To be is to do" -Socrates

"To do is to be" -Sartre

"Do be do be do." -Sinatra

I’m out of my mind. Please leave a message.

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

One by one the penguins are stealing my sanity.

I'm not crazy. My reality is just different then yours.

I was blown away when I realized OK looked like a sideways person

I was even more blown away when I realized QK looked like a sideways ninja.

HARRY POTTER OATH by TwilightXHPotterXPJackson

I promise to remember Harry

Each time I see lightning

And I promise to remember Ron

When I see red hair that's blinding

I promise to obey school rules

For Hermione's sake of course

And I promise to remember Malfoy

When my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Ginny

Whenever I see an adoring fan

And I promise to remember Neville

When someone says no, but they say 'I can'

I promise to remember Luna

Whenever I see the moon

And I promise to remember Fred and George

When I see someone acting like a loon

I promise to remember Dumbledore

When I see someone with long, grey hair.

And I promise to remember Molly

When someone tells me they care

I promise to remember Tom Riddle

Whenever I am scared

And I promise to remember Hedwig

When someone says 'I have always cared'

Yes I promise to love Harry Potter

Wherever I may go

So that all may see my obsession

Because I know what all Potter fans know.

Harry Potter isn't an obsession...

it's a way of life you know..

Copy and paste this into your profile if you agree. LONG LIVE HARRY JAMES POTTER!

The Percy Jackson pledge:

I promise to remember Percy

Whenever I'm at sea

I promise to remember Annabeth

Whenever a spider comes at me

I promise to protect nature

For Grover's sake of course

I promise to remember Luke

When my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Chiron

Whenever I see a sign that says ''Free Pony Ride''

I promise to remember Tyson

Whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side

I promise to remember Thalia

Whenever a friend is scared of heights

I promise to remember Clarisse

Whenever I see someone that gives me a fright

I promise to remember Bianca

Whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother

I promise to remember Nico

Whenever I see someone who doesn't get along with others

I promise to remember Zoe

Whenever I watch the stars

I promise to remember Rachel

Whenever a limo passes my car.

I promise to remember The Stolls

when my home is beginning to unsettle.

I promise to remember Beakendorf

whenever I see someone working metal.

I promise to remember Silena

whenever a friend takes one for the team

I promise to remember Michael Yew

whenever I see a smile that gleams.

I promise to remember Briares

whenever I see someone playing hand games.

I promise to remember those lost in the Battle of the Labyrinth

whenever I see a cloth in flames.

I promise to remember those campers who fought against Kronos

whenever I see someone go against the odds.

You know you're obsessed with PJO if...

You burn food to see if it smells good.

You've gone to Google maps and looked up Camp Half-Blood’s address.

When you see/hear about anything mythology-related, you talk about how it was in PJO (what page, book, etc.) and what happened to it.

You carry a ballpoint pen in your pocket.

Every time you pick up a pen, you think it'll turn into a sword.

You are known to scream names of the characters at random times.

You've got any copy of any book in all your backpacks/binders in case of emergencies.

You read page 203 of BotL over and over again or say the lines in your head.

You know exactly what someone means when they say PJO, LT, SoM, TC, BotL, tLO, tHoO, tLH, SoN, and MoA and use it in conversations.

You go to the empire state building and ask for the 600th floor. When the dude at the desk looks at you weird, you announce that you’re a demigod.

You go to New York and ask for a man named Chiron and that you need to go with him.

You go to a garden statue store and say you’re camera shy.

Bring a blue plastic hairbrush with you everywhere.

Every time you play dodgeball, you bring a suit of armor.

You go to San Francisco looking for the Old Sea Man.

You cried when you finished TLO.

You eat, sleep, and breathe Percabeth.

You yell “Burrito Fight!” whenever you’re in a Mexican restaurant.

You checked to make sure your vice-principal doesn’t have a tail.

You start hearing Percabeth in every song you hear.

You never looked at a ballpoint pen the same way again.

You ask the cashier at the store if they stock Mythomagic cards.

You start loving blue plastic hairbrushes and anyone who wields them.

You try to figure out how much food dye you need to turn chocolate chip cookies blue.

On your trip to Washington D.C. you thought of Annabeth every time you saw a monument.

You yell “Mizzenmast!” whenever you enter a boat.

You shriek every time you see a guy with black hair and green eyes.

You call the Camp Half Blood number.

You look for an entrance to the Labyrinth in your basement.

You’re nodding and smiling when you read this.

YOU HAVE THIS ON YOUR PROFILE PAGE!!!

A Percy Jackson Christmas Carol.

Crashing through the snow on an automaton horse drawn sleigh,

Over the shields we go, Kronos' minions exploding away,

Bells on Blackjack's wing, Riptide shining bright,

What fun it is to slash and swing our clubs and swords tonight,

Oh! Jingle Bells, Kronos smells, Percy's on his way,

Fighting lots of monsters as he comes to save the day, Hey!

Jingle Bells, Kronos smells, Mrs. O' Leary's come to play,

Chewing the heads off monsters as she comes to Percy's aid,

A dream or two ago, I saw a rising tide,

a horse and eagle fight,

a thunder bolt by my side,

the eagle got hit and sank,

some time the horse had bought,

Poseidon's face turned blank,

as he foiled Zeus' plot,

Oh! Jingle bells, Kronos smells, Percy's on his way,

fighting lots of monsters as he comes to save the day, Hey!

Jingle Bells, Kronos smells, Mrs. O' Leary's come to play,

Chewing the heads off monsters as she comes to Percy's aid, Yay!

Jingle Bells, Kronos smells, Percy's on his way,

fighting lots of monsters as he comes to save the day, Hey!

Jingle bells, Kronos smells, Mrs. O' Leary's come to play

Chewing the heads off monsters as she comes to Percy's aid.

List twelve of your favorite PJO characters in no particular order.

1. Percy

2. Annabeth

3. Leo

4. Nico

5. Thalia

6. Bianca

7. Rachel

8. Zoe

9. Silena

10. Ella

11. Hazel

12. Tyson

1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?

Bianca/Hazel? Ew no

2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

Yepp (Nico)

3.What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

Zoe would have broken her vows and their baby would be half-cyclops

4. Can you recall any fics about Nine?

Actually, no, I never have read a Silena fic

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?

(Annabeth/ Bianca) NOOOO!! A. that’s slash, B. that’s anti-Percabeth, C. that’s just plain DISGUSTING.

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?

Thalia/Silena or Thalia/Ella? NEITHER.

7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve making out?

If Rachel walked in on Annabeth and Tyson making out, the world would make no sense.

8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic.

Leo Valdez and Ella the Harpy bond through their weirdness and establish one of the most dysfunctional relationships in half-human history.

9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

Sadly, I have stumbled across a Percy/Zoe fic before. Some people...

13. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

Percy/ Bianca/Tyson- WARNING: incredibly off-canon love triangle

(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (7). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (6), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (4).

Percy and Rachel are in a happy relationship until Silena runs off with Rachel. Percy, heartbroken, has a hot one-night stand with Hazel and a brief unhappy affair with Bianca, then follows the wise advice of Thalia and finds true love with Nico.

What title would you give this fic?

Thalia Gives Percy VERY Strange Advice

15.How would you react if you saw (8) and (11) in a closet together with a rubber ducky?

Zoe and Hazel with a rubber ducky... I’d assume they were trying to figure out what the point is in this bizarre piece of modern technology.

16. How would you feel if (2) dissed you in the worst possible way ever?

Annabeth?! HOW COULD YOU?

*SKIPPING 17*

18. You just came home from school and all of your friends hate you, your teacher just gave you an F on the most important project of the year, and your parents have grounded you as your teacher had already called and told them of your grade. You open the door to your bedroom and you find (10) rummaging through your stuff. What do you do?

I’d sit down next to Ella and we’d have a delightful conversation about books.

19. What would you think if (1) was emo and had tried to slit his/her wrists? If (1) is already emo/slit his/her wrists already, what would you think if (1) became the most optimistic person in the world?

Percy? NOT MY BABY!!!

20. (2) and (11) are your teachers. What would you do?

Annabeth and Hazel? YAYYY!!!

21. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort

Rachel/Tyson... I don’t know...

22. What would you feel this second if (4) gave you a daisy right now?

If Nico gave me a daisy, I would be happy, but at the same time wonder what Nico freaking DiAngelo is doing with a DAISY.

23. (6) has just stolen your hairbrush. What is the first thing you would say?

Bianca can take my hairbrush. I don’t have a problem with that.

24. (7), (9), and (4) have banded together at 3 in the morning and starts to sing the most annoying song you know as loud as they can, waking you up. What is the first thing you think?

A. Rachel, Silena, and Nico all have very different music tastes, so I don’t know what would motivate them to form a band.

B. SILENA! YOU’RE BACK FROM THE DEAD!

Things Learned From Percy Jackson

1. When in doubt, find the dam snack bar -The Titans Curse

2. With great power, comes a great need to take a nap. -The Last Olympian

3. Paradises are places that can get you killed. - The Battle of the Labyrinth

4. Greek gods get offended easily. Then they blow stuff up. -The Titans Curse

5. You can fight monsters, see Annabeth, and make things go BOOM at the same time. -The Battle of the Labyrinth

6. You can't fix a person like a machine. -The Battle of the Labyrinth

7. Monster will vaporize when sliced by a celestial bronze sword. -The Battle of the Labyrinth

8. Avoid poisonous swords or you'll die, after you shrivel slowly to dust. -The Battle of the Labyrinth

9. Anything is possible: including that food can be blue and Percy can pass seventh grade. -The Sea of Monsters

10. People, and horses, who call Mr. D. the wine dude end up in a bottle of Merlot. -The Titans Curse

11. Three kids can drown in a really big bath. -The Lightning Thief

12. Everything strange washes up in Miami. -The Sea of Monsters

13. You can't enjoy practical jokes when you feel like one. -The Last Olympian

14. It's best to just say hello to the poodle. -The Lightning Thief

15. When you need Tantalus to go away, tell him to chase a donut. -The Sea of Monsters

16. Even heroes drool in their sleep. -The Lightning Thief

17. When things seem bad enough, they usually breathe fire. -The Sea of Monsters

18. When barnyard animals don't want to kill you, they want food. -The Lightning Theif

19. Don't blow your nose when someone near you is running from skeletons. -The Titans Curse

20. Don't beat a god in a video game- he might want your soul. -The Last Olympian

Harry Potter vs Twilight

In Harry Potter if vampires walk into the sun they die. In Twilight if vampires walk into the sun they sparkle.

In Harry Potter the main character travels to a magical school in Scotland. In Twilight the main character has a 109 year old watching them sleep.

In Harry Potter the villain is a bald guy with a snake called Voldemort. In Twilight the villains are posh vampires that have crazy plans and end up getting killed by Edward every time.

In Harry Potter the main character chooses the awesome ginger over the emotional Chinese girl. In Twilight the main character chooses the sparkling vampire over the sexy werewolf with abs.

In Harry Potter when the man Hermione Granger loved left her she continued to search for the horcruxes so they could defeat Voldemort and save the wizarding world. In Twilight when the man Bella loved left her she went numb for months and then jumped of a cliff.

In Harry Potter Robert Patterson dies. In Twilight Robert Patterson lives.

Now try and tell me with a straight face that Twilight is better than Harry Potter. Impossible, isn't it? Now I'll finish with a song.

Jingle bells
Twilight smells
Edward ran away
Bella died
Jacob cried
POTTER ALL THE WAY!!!!!

Copy and paste if you think Harry Potter is better than Twilight.

You studied with Hermione. You stumbled with Ron. You hid creatures with Hagrid. You laughed with Fred and George. You fought against Voldemort. You forgot with Neville. You got caught with the DA. You rebelled against Umbridge. You cheered on Gryffindor. You kept up the rivalry with Draco Malfoy and the Slytherins. You worked with Dumbledore. You stuck with Harry til the end. Now the series is over, and now all you can do is remember, and thank J.K. Rowling for the time of your life.

In Remembrance of Severus Snape a Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor without all the red and gold

In Remeberance of Lily Potter who died to protect her son she made the ulimate sacrifice to make the world a safer place and will always remain in our hearts

In Remembrance of Fred Weasley who fought bravely to the very end and whose jokes will forever brighten his other half

In Remenberance of Cedric Diggory who died before his time and will be remembered for his bravery

In Rememberance of Sirius Black the black sheep in his family who died laughing at the hands of his cousin and didn't deserve to spend the last fourteen years of his life the way he did in Azkaban and on the run

In Remembrance of Dobby who was more free and full of love than any elf, and most humans

In Remembrance to Remus J. Lupin the last real Marauderer who was a wonderful father, an incredible husband, and a brave hero as well as an awesome werewolf

In Remembrance to Nymphadora Tonks who died for ‘the greater good’ and would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora

In Remembrance of Alastor ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody whose motto ‘constant vigilance’ kept him alive and scared the crap out of some kids too

In Remembrance of Tom Marvolo Riddle a.k.a. Voldemort who got his butt thoroughly kicked in the end

In Remembrance of Albus Dumbledore whose past and wisdom confused us whose seeming betrayal shocked us but actually who turned out to be an okay guy in the end despite the whole 'almost killing Harry' thing

In Remembrance to Bellatrix Lestrange because it’s was awesome how Molly slapped her with that Avada Kedavra. She deserved everything she got and more

In Remembrance of Colin Creevey who we really didn’t know too well but took a lot of pictures and died fighting in a war so he must’ve done something good besides stalking Harry

In Remembrance of Hedwig Harry's actual first friend who lived and died SOARING

RAVENCLAW HOUSE PRIDE!

Slytherin hosts Deaths Eaters galore,

Hufflepuff's vamp is sparkling but dim.

Gryffindor may have the boy who lived,

But we've got the girl who rejected him!

Bunny just gained world domination. He would like to thank you for your help. The dark side lied about the cookies.

Thank you for reading my unreasonably long profile! (which is significantly shorter than it once was.. heeheehee)