Hi. Hello. Welcome to my page. This is a much older version of "FedoraFan", I mean, much older. I don't even wear fedoras anymore, and I won't talk about that aspect of my life unless someone else brings it up first. I have matured a lot, physically and emotionally. I'm even a good eight inches taller than the old days. I'm writing this note at the top of this page because I was out for almost 13 months. This is due mostly to the fact that my writing computer died. This is not a promise for updates soon. It really isn't. This is a promise for updates EVENTUALLY. These will be more of complete revisions than updates.

Gregor and the War of Resistance? That's getting scrapped. The first few chapters are too embarrassing to read through nowadays. I also have new thoughts on how Gregor would readjust to life. Expect that fic to be taken into a dark hole, whipped, spat on, and returned to the world of the living a new man.

The Glory Days of TARDIS? Still not going to do anything with it. Never did in the first place. If Doctor Who ever gets any better than maybe we'll see.

How to Survive the Kanto League without Getting Yourself Killed? Well, for starters, I'm changing the name. Ugh. Why did I name it that? Still not sure. After that, we're going to incorporate more PLANNING. "PLANNING?!" my Theoretical Faithful Reader I sometimes like to pretend exists cries in anguish. "What do you mean planning?" Well you non-existent piece of crap that likes to read FanFiction (what are you twelve? If so, stay off of FanFiction. Go read some real literature and maintain your innocence for a few more years. Don't make my mistakes) yes! Planning. Some honest-to-God planning. Legit planning. That you plan. Writing without a plan is like improv. Sometimes it's really cool and funny, but other times it just sucks.

So there you Theoretical Faithful Readers. There you go. All of these stories absolutely suck in their current form, and they will return. Hopefully better. When? Yet to be determined.

AND I'M CHANGING MY PEN NAME. MOTHER'S LOVE THAT IS A STUPID NAME.

- FedoraFan

P.S. Sorry El Torro. I never did write that tournament.

Stories:

Gregor and the War of Resistance-

Gregor must return to the Underland in order to save Luxa and his other friends from a Civil War that threatens to tear the Underland apart. Unheard nations from the far reaches of the Underland attack and pick sides, and Hazard has a secret he's afraid to share. Meanwhile, Gregor's stalker has found out his secret.

Status: Active

The Glory Days of TARDIS-

Past companions of the Doctor's live their new lives and look back on the days that they knew that strange man who could change his face.

Status: Updated when inspiration strikes me. Not that any of you care... I only have one reviewer (thanks Obsidian!)

How to Challenge the Kanto League Without Getting Yourself Killed-

Colman Calhoun is the strangest ten year-old in Pallet. He is a fan of Squirtle, his eyes don't even match, and his methods of catching Pokemon are random at best. He sets out on his Pokemon journey with hopes of becoming a Pokemon Master, and he tries not to die in the process.

Status: Active

New Story-

Ooh. What's this? What's this?! A new story? No way! FedoraFan never writes new stories. You're messing with me. No, I'm not! This is happening people! Coming to this page... whenever I get around to publishing it.

For all who can't tell:

Gender: I'm pretty sure I'm a guy.

Age: Between -4 and 500

Place of Birth: The Milky Way Galaxy

Current Residence: Gallifrey

Favorite Food: Virtual Cookies

Favorite Drink: Coke and Mentoes

Favorite Show: Doctor Who

Least Favorite Show: Glee, Power Rangers is a close second

Something Considered Childish I Like: Pokemon

First Novel: The Bailey School Kids: Vampires Don't Wear Polka Dots (I was six, don't judge me)

Latest Novel: That was Then, This is Now

Favorite Novel/Series: Gregor the Overlander/The Underland Chronicles

Novel/Series I like to rant about most: Percy Jackson and the Olympians

The List of the Most Bizarre Quotes Out of Context (No Particular Order).

"And I thought my head was muddy as a chicken."

"Have we met before? Was it the sixties? The sixties are kind of a blur."

"Tangy. But my eyes hurt. What kind of blood is this? Nubian? Persian?"

"My stomach had the rumblies. The rumblies that only hands could satisfy."

"Holy happy holidays in a h- Holy happy holidays in a- Holy happy holidays in a- HAH!"

"Cucumbers have wicked souls."

"I don't see that it makes much difference. They'll still be one-hundred percent as stupid as usual, so I figure my odds will be roughly the same."

"So I bit him. I hope he's seeing good things."

"Let's stop pretending we don't spend half our time spying on each other. I read your files, and you read the files I allow you to steal."

"We never come up with good ideas on the otter!"

"I'm not a cop! I'm a fry-cook at Steak'n'Shake!"

"That's okay. This is Florida. There's a bottomless supply of little sociopathic criminals to break your heart."

"He's trying to lead you down the path of righteousness, I'm trying to lead you down the path that rocks!"

"I know, I'll turn him into a flea. A tiny, harmless little flea. Then, I'll put that flea in a box, then I'll put that box in another box, then I'll mail that box to myself. And when it arrives, I'll smash it with a hammer!! Oh, it's brilliant, brilliant, brilliant I say! Or, to save on postage, I'll just poison him with this!"

"Well, in my dream, dad had to kiss a llama!"

"Well, it's a good thing your not a big fat guy, or this would be really difficult."

"It will seriously mess up your finger."

"It wasn't us! It was the old lady!"

"They could get away with murder. I can't get away with anything."

"Gooseberry pie? She stays!"

"No. But you scared the [heck] out of some pigeons."

"Wait! You have a musical number about feeding junk to forest animals?"

"I knew I should have gotten a down payment on the elephants..."

"Even though I have a cool name and a scary British accent... I'm still a Muppet on the inside!"

"All the things we've seen and it's only eight in the morning!"

"Awww... They're shooting adorable little death-rays at each other..."

"Can we buy all this in London?"

"Behold! The Key... of Wisdom! Snazzy, eh?"

"That's a laser gun."

"Of course. I come from a planet of idiots."

"You are a strange little wagon. You have my pity. Farewell!"

"Something's not right here, let's go poke it with a stick."

"Ah, Tom's pain is the best part of Christmas."

"Ah! They stole my kidneys!"

"Free food? What have I done?"

"I've been drinking honey badger anti-venom ever since I started hanging around that snake."

"Legs? Still here. Bow tie? Cool. Fez? I can buy a fez."

"Invasion of the hot Italians."

"Hey, I like you, wanna know my secret identity?"

"Yes, I died and turned into a Roman... it's very distracting."

"Excuse me?! I am up here, being extremely clever, and no is here to stand around and look impressed! What is the point of having you all?"

"Gentleman? Guns, really? I just walked into the highest security office on Earth, parked a big blue box on the rug, and you think you can just shoot me?"

"I'm an agent from Scotland Yard. Code name: The Doctor. These are my associates: The Legs, The Nose, and Mrs. Robinson."

"Say hello to David Frost for me."

"Fortunately, I picked today to wear my bike helmet in the shower."

"Awkward, this is."

"In this fandom, I am not, but fight, brothers should not."

"No! There is now interfering in established events! Except for cheap tricks..."

"Because I'm trying to buy a guitar that looks like- well- that little girl..."

"Wow! I can really taste the less potato!"

"Warning: Lotato Chips may take 35 years off your life!"

"Congratulations! You have just killed a place mat."

"Oh no, my weakness- is- small knives!"

"You fell asleep standing up."

"Are you saying I'm a three?"

"Oh! Do you have a refrigerator box instead? That would be lovely!"

"You're not saluting are you?"

"Hmm. Broken. Broken. Broken. Hairdryer."

"I'm looking for a blonde in a Union Jack shirt. No, I mean a specific one, I didn't just wake up this morning with a craving."

"You would make a great dalek."

"You idiot you shot the wrong Santa!"

"DELICIOUS CHRISTMAS!!!"

"Why did we think the van was a good idea?"

"So... do you two... fondue?"

"So- is this your normal look?"

"Moisturize me."

"It was the Mayans who got it right!"

"But we must not lose hope! Who are we kidding? We're toast."

"Who among us, that isn't Amish, makes their own applesauce?!"

"The one day she didn't do a perimeter check..."

"I am citizen twice!"

"Last rat standing."

"Waste of good Scotch!"

"Eh... just put it all on red."

"Brian- Totally Awesome 'Till He Died."

"Mommy, the President just stole my chocolate milk. He didn't even say please!"

"Sharks... have a week about him."

"Wow. You find that more amazing than a talking dog!"

"President Paris Hilton, today made it illegal to weigh over four-hundred pounds... this will be my last broadcast."

"Nana? Uncle Jack? It's all coming back to me now! You were right. I never should taken that job hanging anvils!"

"Throw it in the mixer and pretend it's beef!"

"Do I still have to sleep in a cupboard?"

"Hey Matt, I... don't hate you?"

"Look out! He's gotta nose!"

"You wanna see my collection of nasal spray?"

"She has his dead wife's heart!"

"We have to fill a half-hour."

"Has anyone else ever wondered why we're always wearing gloves all the time?"

"I'm dry, Perry the Platypus! I mean, I feel like this summer just keeps going on and on, I mean, I feel like we've been going on like this for like four years!"

"Is that you, reading the Preamble to the Constitution in an Indian accent?"

"No, sometimes we boil it in Swiss water."

"You'll rue the day you messed with me, Oregon Trail!"

"Your mother is so fat, it looks like the Death Star put on a pair of pants!"

"Technically I caught the pig."

"Resistance is futile, give me what I need."

"You are the devil, repeat, you are the devil."

"Because I'm trying to get off with Sarah! Oh, hi Sarah..."

"We're still looking for Jeremy though... who's leg is that?"

"I'm nothing special, and you can be too!"

"Oh no. It looks like she's heading right for the door... Quick! Throw something at her face!"

"Theodore Roosevelt? I'm not even sure that's a real person."

"Oh, Chloe. Don't worry. It's just God punishing you because you're a ginger."

"Ooh, a card. Heh heh. Swipey swipey. And uh... authorized. Just have a seat at the table, and uh, you can use the chairs too, if you want."

"Ah! This would never happen in Idaho!"

"John, she didn't lose it, we know exactly where it is. It's all over the third row!"

"You want to expose my weight? Ha! How insecure do you think I am...? Give him the code Jim."

"I also don't want you hanging out with Stephen anymore. He gave me some pills for a headache last week, and they worked, I haven't slept for six days, so..."

"Number Five: I let the dogs out."

"Well, you may not know how to make balloon animals, but at least know you know how to euthanize them."

"Remember, you're strong. You cranked out fourteen push-ups before this date and you only blacked out for a second."

"This man is actually a taco vendor, and this tombstone, is made of candy."

"It was just a song, Sheila. With a lot of odd percussion at the end."

"Actually it exploded, I don't know why I said that."

"A Twinkie? Put some gravy on that, and I call that breakfast."

"I love how you throw empty pop cans at homeless people, and then tell them to get a job."

"You may be just one man, or preteen girl, but don't hesitate to like something."

"I eat meteorites as they fall from the sky!!!!!"

"Dreams? Those were nightmares!"

"Oh, and make sure that they know they're dead."

"Negative, I am a meat Popsicle."

"Try to swallow the larger dollars! I want to remodel the kitchen..."

"Oh, I don't believe in spanking. But torture? Yes."

"Where do I see myself in fifteen years? Uh... my parents basement?"

Favorites No Order At All

TV Shows:

Doctor Who, Studio C, My Little Pony, Once Upon a Time, Pokemon (Anime version), Deadliest Warrior, Phineas and Ferb, Burn Notice.

Books:

Leven Thumps Series, Harry Potter Series, Underland Chronicles, Hunger Games Trilogy, Pillage Trilogy, Artemis Fowl Series, Camp Half-Blood Series (Percy Jackson and the Olympians/Heroes of Olympus), Kane Chronicles, The Beyonders Trilogy, The Fablehaven Series, The Last Apprentice Series, The Creature From My Closet Series, The Chronicles of Narnia, The Candy Shop War Series, 39 Clues Series, 13th Reality Series, Quantum Prophecy.

Websites:

FANFICTION.NET, , , , , ,

Computer Games:

Cactus McCoy, Pokemon Tower Defense, Poptropica, Plants vs Zombies.

P.S. For all those of you that can make it this far, IT'S FREAKING 2013!!!!! HAPPY NEW YEARS!

Okay, well, message me and enjoy my stories and I shalt enjoy yours until the day The Society of the Evening Star topples every last magical reserve and, Fairy Queen forbid, Fablehaven.