Okay, first fanfic (takes a deep breath)... so this is basically the life story of Ripred, up until and including the time of the Underland Chronicles. And Let me tell you, it is not easy to detail the life of a character as complex and multi-layered as Ripred. Written in first person.

Disclaimer: (geez, do we really need one of these in EVERY story?) I don't own the Underland Chronicles or any of its characters. Sadly. If only I could come up with an idea half so good.

The cave where I was born. Even now, so many years later, after all I've seen and done, I still find myself longing every now and then to go back there. Perhaps sometime I will, just for sentimentality's sake.

You see, we rats have a much better memory than humans. I can still recall, to a certain degree, the day of my birth. The confusion, the pain as a million new sensations hit me, the darkness. Yes, the darkness. Our cave wasn't pitch black; there were certain fungi growing on the walls that provided some light on their own, but not nearly enough to be considered reliable light, more the kind of light that a glow-in-the-dark shoelace might give. For me, being born wasn't going "into the light," merely moving from one darkness to another. No, I didn't truly experience light as we know it until-

But that part comes later. For now, I was nothing but a tiny, shivering pup, who had just left the belly of his mother. Looking back years later, I often wish I'd stayed. But it's far too late to do anything about that now. I came into the world, and I left my mark on it. Whether or not it was a good mark is up to you to judge. It was certainly a lasting one.

...

Pushing… screaming… pain and panic and confusion… and I was through. Immediately, the smells and sounds of the world hit me like a waterfall, threatening to overwhelm me with their sheer force. I had no idea what I had entered, but it was certainly different from what I had left.

Once I was free, I rolled away and fell to the ground. It wasn't a rough fall, as I was in my parents' nest at the time, but for someone new to the concept of sensation, it was agonizing. I lay there for a minute or two, then, using my legs, I pushed myself slowly upward. I could barely stand, trembling on those legs which might as well have been four twigs, but after a while I was able to creep forward, toward the great shape I had come from. I fell about a billion times, but kept going until I had reached my mother.

Also present were several other creatures, about the same size as me. They were still stumbling around, bumping into each other and squealing shrilly, but none seemed quite as unsteady as I was. I tried to use my eyes to analyze them, but they seemed useless. I was not yet trained enough to properly echolocate, so I was helpless, with only my ears and nose to guide me.

After a minute or so, which to a five-minute-old rat pup must have seemed like a length of several years, I noticed that the other small shapes had stopped stumbling around and squealing. They were all busy with- what? I sensed them next to our mother, and suddenly I was aware of the great pain in my stomach, and knew the only way it could be satisfied.

Walking less clumsily now, I stumbled over to Mother and tried to latch myself on. The other pups, however, were blocking the way, keeping me from drinking my fill. I was desperately hungry, but I couldn't find a place to suckle anywhere. I pushed and tugged at the bodies of the other pups, tried to slip between them, crawl over them, but I couldn't. It was several minutes of agony for me before I pushed one out of the way and revealed an unused spot where I could latch on.

I drank happily for several minutes, but somehow, no matter how much I suckled, the pangs in my belly could not be satisfied. The other pups, who had gotten to Mother before me, had drunk all the best and richest milk. I got only a thin, watery substance which wasn't even worth drinking, even though I stayed latched on for a long time after all the other pups had stopped and lain down on the soft ground, wearied by even the tiniest effort.

Eventually I joined my siblings on the ground, with the energy to do nothing more than lie there, where there was nothing to do but think… and sleep…

When I awoke, the hunger pangs were stronger than ever. I felt faint with them, but I paid little attention. There was a large presence in the cave, lager than Mother, many times larger than me. He was making sounds in a booming roar quite unlike our squeaking, and Mother was answering him back in an equally booming voice. I understood nothing of what he said, but somehow, I felt an instant connection with him. I knew that he was my parent, just as much as Mother.

I also knew that it would be time to feed again soon, and I had no wish to be left behind again. My siblings didn't seem to be awake yet, so I could creep toward Mother while they slept. That way, I'd be closer than anyone when it was time to feed, and I would get there first and get the best milk. Encouraged, I started to move forward, much steadier on my legs than I had been earlier.

I was about halfway to Mother when it happened. I was scooped up into the air by two enormous paws. Trapped, I could do nothing but squeal shrilly and try to wriggle free, but the paws held me tightly.

My father, for he was the one who had picked me up, thundered out something in his enormous voice, and Mother laughed- a sound I knew instinctively- and replied in an equally loud tone. The sounds crashed upon my eardrums, and I squealed louder and redoubled my efforts to wriggle away.

Just when I thought the torment would never end, Mother said something, and Father put me back down… right next to my siblings, who by this time were wide awake. I could only pant on the stone floor with exertion as my siblings scurried off to Mother to feed. By the time I got to Mother, all the most nourishing milk was gone again, and once more I got nothing but the watery leftovers. I suckled until every drop was gone, long after my siblings had scurried away, but nothing would satisfy the pangs in my belly. Well, I thought sourly, that wasn't my fault. I would have gotten to Mother first had it not been for my father. Stupid, wicked Father! I hated him.

The next few days passed in much the same way; feeding, sleeping, slowly becoming steadier on our feet. There were six pups in all, three girls and three boys, including me. The others always got to Mother first when it was time to feed, leaving me with the weakest milk. The hunger in my belly was rarely satisfied, and I often felt as if there was a gaping hole in my stomach which let all the food spill out, no matter what I drank. My siblings were all bigger than me, and healthier looking (not that a days-old rat pup is very healthy looking in any case, with its shriveled pink body and nonexistent slits for eyes).

I slowly began to understand what my parents said. Many of the words had to do with concepts I had no experience with, but the few words that I could relate to, I learned.

Our nest was in a relatively small cave, the floor hidden beneath a multitude of objects. Rats are scavengers, who will keep anything we can take. No two nests are alike, and the one I was born in was no exception. The floor was littered with the bones of just about every animal my father had ever caught, along with assorted precious stones (crystals and the like), numerous pieces of metal, and unrecognizable rotting things. Everything was covered in a layer of filth.

There was only one exit to the cave, a dark, gaping hole that led to a long tunnel. No luminous fungi grew in the tunnel. Not that light worried me anymore. By squealing in a high-pitched tone, higher than a human could hear, and listening to the sound bouncing back to me, I could tell where in the cave I was, and where my siblings were. Or at least I could tell the general direction. My echolocation was weak and unreliable, but I was a fast learner. Still am, even now.

One night, when I was about a week old, after yet another unsatisfying meal, I lay down with my siblings to rest. The hunger pangs in my chest were so great that I could barely sleep, and instead listened to my mother and father talking. At the time, I was still learning Gnawer, but I was able to understand most of what my parents said.

"I'm worried about the small one," said my mother. "He doesn't seem to get as much milk as the others."

"Yes," agreed my father. "Perhaps it would be better to-"

"No! At least give him a chance. He may yet pull through," pleaded Mother.

"Very well then," sighed Father. "We'll give him a chance. But he'll end up starving to death, poor thing."

I may not have understood all that I heard, but I gathered enough. I was the little one, who couldn't get enough milk. My parents were ashamed of me. They wanted to get rid of me, instead of watching the hunger pangs get bigger and eventually consume me. I sat up, thinking and worrying, for half the night, before sleep took me.

I was woken hours later by the usual sound of movement as my siblings rushed toward Mother for their morning feeding. I scurried along with them, but as usual I was too late. My siblings had gotten to the milk before me, and were busy suckling away.

For the first time in my short life, I became furious. These other pups had no right to steal my milk. I deserved milk as much as they did. I needed to eat. In that moment, I hated my parents and I hated my siblings. I hated everyone. The fury in me grew greater and greater still, until it consumed me completely.

With no control over what I was doing, barely even aware of my actions, I rushed at my siblings, knocking two of them aside. A third, one of my brothers, jumped on me, but I pushed him away, as if he were weightless. The remaining two attacked me from both sides, and I retreated, squealing angrily. One leaped toward me, and I dodged to one side at the last moment, where I was attacked by two more pups. Instinctively knowing what to do, I twisted my hips, first in one direction, then in another, so that their pinkish bodies were sent flying through the air. One of my sisters ran forward, yapping excitedly, but all I had to do was fake a lunge, and she retreated. It all happened in the space of a few seconds, but just like that, the milk was mine.

I grinned savagely, as best as a baby gnawer can. Let them go hungry tonight! Let them feel the pangs of hunger! I ran to Mother and began to suckle, and did not stop, not even after the hunger in my belly disappeared, not until every drop of milk was gone. After that, I dragged myself away to a corner.

After a while of lying in the corner and doing nothing, I learned my first lesson about food; that having too much is often as bad as having too little. I felt heavy and sluggish. But my hunger was gone.

For a long time I lay and wondered, what had happened? It felt like something had possessed me during the fight with my siblings. I'd had no control over my actions. What had caused me to do that? I hadn't meant my siblings any harm. All I'd wanted was a full stomach.

For a long time after that, my siblings avoided me. They didn't even let me sleep near them that night. I had to curl up in a corner and make myself as comfortable as possible. But from then on, they let me have all the milk I wanted. They made room for me whenever necessary, and shrunk away, giving me a wide berth until I was done feeding.

All the same, I still tried to be generous and not take too much milk. I was sorry for what I had done to my brothers and sisters, and didn't want anything like it to ever happen again.

Ha! If only I knew.

Who would have ever guessed that the legendary Ripred was runt of his litter? Okay, this chapter kinda sucked. Don't let it put you off. It gets better further in, I promise!