Zephdae
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Joined 10-29-02, id: 286823, Profile Updated: 02-03-11
Author has written 10 stories for His Dark Materials, Harry Potter, Series Of Unfortunate Events, Lost, Gattaca, Twilight, and 2012.

In which Zephdae attempts to explain her terrible fic-updating skills.

I know, I suck at it. The period of my life when I was really into fanfiction has long since passed and will never return (unless something goes terribly wrong…). I’m probably about 7 or 8 years older than the average fanfic-er, and I’ve been an active member for over 8 years, which is probably also atypical. I don’t spend much time here because I never read fics anymore, unless someone asks specifically or I look at a reviewer’s bio and something catches my eye. But my fanfiction email goes to a different account than my regular one, so I don’t even check my reviews very often.

Basically what this means is that my interest in writing fanfiction comes and goes in waves. I don’t expect it will ever go away completely, but I’ll also never update regularly. Not that I think there are scores of readers out there just waiting for my next update, but I do get reviews pretty regularly for unfinished stories, which makes me feel guilty. Not for long, granted, but still – I have guilt!

So there you go, my explanation. Guilt gone!

While I’m here, I’ll go ahead and update my faves lists, too.

Books: I recently finished Stieg Larsson’s Millenium trilogy, which was pretty good. Not a genre I normally read, and I didn’t like the second book at all (for reasons which are the same as the reasons I don’t normally read thrillers), but I enjoyed the other two. Now I’m reading The Passage by Justin Cronin, which is very good, tho it seems to be at least three books in one so far.

My classic all-time favorite authors: Orson Scott Card, Neil Gaiman, Charles de Lint, and Philip Pullman.

TV: I watch a lot of it, though mostly on Hulu. My favorites of shows that are currently on the air: How I Met Your Mother, The Office, 30 Rock, Leverage, Psych. And shows that have sadly passed on: LOST, Firefly, Buffy, Angel, Pushing Daisies. I think that TV is a fantasic medium and someday it will be studied and revered, much like Elizabethan theater is today. There will be classes on Joss Whedon like there are classes on Shakespeare, you mark my words.

I’ve tried to like Battlestar Galactica, but I just can’t get into it. It may succeed as drama or character study or allegory, I don’t really know, but it fails as science fiction.

Movies: I’ve recently gotten obsessed with Cillian Murphy. I’ve always liked him, but it was triggered when I saw Tron: Legacy and he had that two-line part, which really confused me so I looked it up online (fyi, they’re prepping him to be a villain in a possible sequel). And I’m now slowly working my way through all of his movies. I’d already seen 28 Days Later, Red Eye, Inception, Batman Begins, and Sunshine; now I’ve checked off The Wind that Shakes the Barley (so hard to watch – one of those movies that’s good but not really enjoyable) and Peacock (just came out last year, all-star cast, somehow released straight to DVD, not even shown at festivals – and he should win the freaking Oscar for it). Breakfast on Pluto is next on my Netflix queue.

This guy should be a legit leading man, he is a fantastic actor and his face is so uniquely striking. I figure it’s only a matter of time before Christopher Nolan or Danny Boyle writes him a true Hollywood leading role.

Music: I’ve just discovered I love Grace Potter and the Nocturnals (thank you, NPR News app). I’m also thinking about getting into Mumford and Sons since everyone I know seems to love them, and they are exactly the genre I like most.

Hobbies: I took up sewing back in November and I like it a lot, but I’m now on a pop-up-card-designing kick. I got some books about it for Christmas. I’m pretty crafty overall. I may take up candle-making.

I’m currently unemployed…maybe you can tell?

If Twilight Was a Bit More Honest by North American Scum reviews
This is a slight reworking of the first book of the "Twilight Saga" without all the purple prose, sickening Edward worship, and general bullcrap.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 11,271 - Reviews: 197 - Favs: 119 - Follows: 88 - Updated: 10/9/2010 - Published: 8/30/2008 - Bella, Edward
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

2 0 1 2: An Epic Parody Event reviews
We Were Warned... how ridiculous this movie would be.
2012 - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,914 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 8/26/2010 - Published: 1/18/2010
The End, or In which Lost ends reviews
Come on. You know I had to do it.
Lost - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,471 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 6/23/2010 - Published: 6/13/2010
New Moon, or In which Bella is not good enough reviews
A parody of New Moon. Bella spends 563 pages agonizing over her self-esteem issues. This makes her totally different from every other teenager in the world, yet still too ordinary to be a vampire's girlfriend. Angst ensues.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,927 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 1/9/2009 - Published: 12/14/2008 - Complete
Baptism by Fire reviews
Eugene has a conversation with God.
Gattaca - Rated: T - English - Spiritual/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,267 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/16/2008 - Complete
Authority's End reviews
Two years after the conclusion of The Amber Spyglass, Will must use the knife to defeat a group of renegade angels trying to carry out Metatron's plans for a permanent Inquisition in every world. *SUMMARY POSTED*
His Dark Materials - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 21,162 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 2/16/2008 - Published: 4/3/2005 - Complete
LOST: Parodies of the Complete 1st Season, Almost reviews
See the plane crash. See the survivors survive. Watch as the island becomes freaky. Monsters abound. Rated TV14 for Violence, Language, Sexuality, and some Crude Humor. Completed parodies of episodes 1-14!
Lost - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 63,273 - Reviews: 213 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 1/10/2008 - Published: 1/8/2006 - Complete
I Do, or In which Pickett is angry a lot reviews
A parody of the Season 3 mini finale. Tagline: Nothing is safe. Nothing is sacred. Everything WILL be mocked.
Lost - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,290 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 1/26/2007 - Published: 1/16/2007 - Complete
The Knife reviews
Completely rewritten, digitally remastered, and better than ever Will gets a chance to repair the subtle knife. Will he do it?
His Dark Materials - Rated: K - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,757 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 7/8/2004 - Published: 12/5/2002 - Complete
Very Freaky Doormat reviews
Ahem. Since reading this story will cause you to go mad and kill everyone you hold dear, I highly suggest you abstain from reading it. If you insist on doing so, however, I am not responsible for the consequences.
Series Of Unfortunate Events - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 504 - Reviews: 19 - Published: 11/21/2003 - Complete
The Truth Behind the Lies Behind Harry Potter reviews
This was cowritten by Loppy Nematoad. Harry, Ron, and Hermione are interviewed while under the influence of Veritaserum. It's a rather strange fic and a definite waste of time.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,643 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/7/2002 - Complete