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Name: Elizabeth, but my friends call me Zila. I made up the name Ziluna (No stealing it, I have copyrights!!)

Age: One-thousand four-hundred sixty-one. I think...

Gender: I am FEMALE!! I don't understand why you might need to ask...And I'm not one of those fake female child predators that are really old men! Yuck!

Species: Shapéshiftér

Country: United States of America, suck that!

Religion: Christian ftw

Sign: Aquarius

Birthday: February 8th

Languages: Mainly English, but I can also speak some Japanese, Latin, Korean, Spanish, German, and French.

Favorites:

Animal- Wolf and Dragon

Color- Blue, gold, green, silver, crimson, and black.

Food- Chicken ramen, pocky, cake, chocolate pie, blood, bacon, eggs, ham, humans, chicken, cupcakes, SLUSHIES!!!, anything frozen, lolipops.

Music- Nightwish- best band EVAR!, Paramore, Three Days Grace, Three Doors Down, Linkin Park, Flyleaf, Kalmah, Trapt, Dragonforce, and many many more.

Weapon of choice: Two Claymores, two pistols, and a glaive.

I am an official nerd -- I play Dungeons and Dragons hahaha =3

Spot what's wrong with this poem.

Backwards Rhyme

One bright day in the middle of the night,

Two dead boys got into a fight.

Back to back, they faced each other,

Drew there swords and shot each other.

Deaf man heard the noise and came and took the two dead boys away.

Now if you don’t believe this lie is true,

Ask the blind man,

He saw it too.

On a bus, two men with really strong accents start a conversation. The lady next to them eavesdrops.

"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two esses acoma together. I come once-a-more. Two esses, they comma together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."

"You dirty-mouthed pigs! In this country we don't talk about our dirty sex lives in public!" the lady exclaims.

"Hey, whatsa matter for you?" replies the man, "I'm a justa tellin' mah frienda how to spell Mississippi."

First off, there's a list of things on the site and across the Internet in general that really get on my nerves. I will add more as I come across them. Here they are:

1. Flames/Flamers: Constructive criticism is good. Destructive criticism is not. The purpose of FFnet's existence, as I understand it, is to allow fans to imagine and write stories based on someone else's creation without being sued by the creator's lawyers for copyright infringement. Not to set up an account solely to bash on stories or authors. Isn't it odd that flamers talk about how much they hate bad writing, yet instead of seeking out and enjoying good writing, they seem to look for the very stories they claim to hate? Now, there are some people on the site who cannot write to save the world, but they need constructive criticism, not flames. Flaming is not literary criticism and does nothing to help people improve their writing. Even if people are too stupid and full of themselves to listen to concrit, they can always come to realize eventually that it's meant to help them. Putting them down or merely saying their writing is crap without mentioning WHY it's crap and HOW it can be improved does nothing except demoralize them and make them think people just hate them (instead of that their writing is poor), so they'll just keep cranking out crap. Telling someone that they should commit suicide, get raped, or rot in hell because their writing is crap is unnecessary, wrong, and useless. It's even more wrong to say that they deserve those things for writing certain pairings or making OCs. No one should commit suicide, get raped, or rot in hell, not even perverts, jackasses, or trolls. Speaking of trolls, you shouldn't flame them either because that's what they want, even though their writing often merits flames.

2. Purism/elitism: Purism is the belief in strict adherence to canon. Elitism is expecting professional writing skills out of every single writer who uses this site. I hate purism because its message is "You do not have a right to think outside of the creator's box." A lot of purists try to cram the canon (or what they think is canon) down your throat at every turn. In fact, quite the opposite is true. We are limited only by our imagination and the creators' ownership of their own work. Moreover, ALL fanfiction deviates from canon. Pure canon would be nothing more than parroting the creator. And a lot of times, the canon plotline isn't even good! So if we yielded to the wishes of the purists, this site would not exist. You shouldn't write only what other people want. Criticism about improving my writing skills and fixing plot holes I am open to. But when I'm told what pairings to write, what plots to write, what characters to write about, or stuff like that, that's where I draw the line and say "Shut up. You have no right to say what I can and can't do." I run the Alicia Rivers Show and I'll write whatever the damn hell I want to write.

Nor should you let canon influence your taste. So it's obvious from what happened in Episode 10.865 that Naruto will never marry Sakura/Hinata because he so totally loves Hinata/Sakura, and anyone who thinks otherwise is totally deluded. Well, I don't give a crap if Naruto marries Tora the cat in canon! I ship him with Hinata because I think they go well together, not because I think it's the most canon thing since Darth Vader told Luke he was his father. And guess what? Some people who HATE N/H are my FRIENDS! And I've got friends who love SasuSaku and SasuKarin, respectively, and I hate all pairs with that bastard! Why alienate other people or be rude to them over pairing preferences/theories as to how the story goes/how the story does end up going?

I hate elitism because not all writers here are going to be professionals. Granted, many stories need A LOT of work, but elitists' expectations are WAY over the top. If you want perfection, read a damn book. Most people on this site are not professionals and need guidance to improve. The author of the brilliant literary gem "Team 8" is in his thirties. How can you expect a thirteen- or sixteen-year-old to be half as good as a thirty-year-old with years of experience? Granted, age is no excuse for writing like a first-grader with dyslexia, but no teenager is going to produce Shakespeare.

3. OOCness: Mild OOCness is excusable - some characters are hard to capture, and I understand that. But I absolutely abhor it when people completely change or ignore the characterization of characters. If you have to ignore who the characters are, what's the point of writing fanfiction? You might as well be writing about original characters in an original work. The point of fanfiction is to explore a world that someone else has created. They have worked hard to create beautiful characters, and it's truly a shame to see those characters warped, twisted, and messed with until they are no longer the characters I know and love (or hate). Please, take into account who these people are before you decide to make them do something!

Some glaring examples: Itachi is not a rapist. Kagome is not an invincible goddess. Kakashi is not a pedophile. Itachi isn't one either. He is also not a shy, blushing, weak little uke. Gaara is not a lovesick puppy. Silver, Blue, and Gary are not lovesick puppies either, nor are they sappy Romeo wannabes spewing platitudes. Rukia and Orihime are close friends, not best enemies. Sakura and Ino are also friends. Starscream is not a Spongebob clone. Naruto, Ash, Ichigo, and Harry Potter are not manwhorish womanizers. Hinata is not going to stab Sakura in the gut because Sakura is a bitch. Crystal does not hate Kotone. Etc, etc, etc.

4. Numerous spelling/grammar/mechanical errors: FFnet's guidelines explicitly say to check your spelling and grammar before you upload. There is no excuse for not doing this. Too many errors make an otherwise good story extremely hard to read, which is very sad. What's even sadder is that a large percentage of FFnet users write on a first-grade writing level. THIS IS A SITE FOR WRITERS! YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO READ AND WRITE, AND USE PROPER SPELLING AND GRAMMAR! Your story might be wonderful, but if it looks like a spelling test with a grade of F minus, it's too hard to read. If you're writing in a language other than your own, get a beta reader whose native tongue is that language. I am always willing to serve as a beta. If you're writing in your own language, use spellcheckers-both electronic and human-and get a beta if needed. I don't expect Shakespeare, but I do expect proper use of the English language.

5. Stupid fangirls: Be they Yaoi fangirls, Twitards, or character claimers, dumb fangirls give everyone a bad name. I applaud the Yaoi fangirls, Twilighters, Jonas Brothers fans, etc, who are intelligent, know how to write properly, and can be reasonable. The dumb ones, sadly, are quite numerous, and are responsible for the fact that a large percentage of Yaoi fanfiction is utter, utter garbage. Same can be said for Twilight fanfiction, but since the book itself is terrible, it's not really surprising. Dumb fangirls also populate the Naruto fandom too much--do you know how hard it is to find good NH fics these days? Too many of them suck. Or good Naruto fanfiction in general--it's all buried underneath the ten million identical, no-plot, dyslexic-first-grader-grammar-filled SasuNaru "stories."

6: Chatspeak: ZOMG it drivs me ttly INSANE wen ppl tok liek dis i rly h8 it :-( ! It was painful enough to even type that! Sadly, chat speak is ubiquitous around here, and I find it extremely annoying. It makes people sound stupid, whether they actually are or not. It also hurts people's writing skills. I don't even know what the heck half those terms even mean and I'm not interested in learning!

7: Bad smut scenes: Oh, for the love of Primus. If you don't know how to do a lemon, or you learned how to do them from reading Harlequin Romance novels, do not attempt to put one in your story. Harlequin Romance novels are woefully inaccurate. I do not know how it's all supposed to feel, but I do have something of an idea. A list of do's and don'ts for lemons: 1) Make it make sense, and describe how they feel, not just what they are doing. Don't have them jump on each other just because they can. Harlequins do this all the time. 2) Never name the vital parts. That makes it feel like the reader is a scientist watching lab rats mate and taking notes. Also, don't overly describe the action and focus more on the emotion. 3) No sparkly fluffy sugary words. That just makes it sound stupid. 3) CRASS LANGUAGE IS A LEMON KILLER. This includes the F-bomb. Good lemons revolve around the lovers' emotions; crass description is the number one mark of bad lemons.

8: Mary Sues/Gary Stus: They give OCs a bad name. Not all OCs are Mary Sues, and not all Mary Sues are OCs. Books, movies, TV shows, and anime are full of canon Sues and Stus. Because of Mary Sues, some people will consider any OC (particularly any OC who is also the author) a Mary Sue. This is simply untrue. OCs are, in fact, good practice for creating characters for your own original works. A Mary Sue, as I understand it, will have all or most of the following: a tragic past, great beauty, ridiculous abilities, annoying characterization, the ability to make members of the opposite gender fall in love with her/him at first sight, a love interest, bashing of the love interest's canon match, bashing of any canon female characters without a sensible reason, and traits unsuited to the setting. However, what defines a Mary Sue for certain is an unrealistic bad plotline, the ability to make other characters break character, and the ability to defy all logic as set up by the creator. Now, I understand that we all make mistakes, so Mary Sues should be a lesson to you in what to avoid when creating a character. I value a believable plotline above all, so I'm very careful with how I develop my OCs. I myself am one of my OCs, so I'm constantly on the Sue-watch with regards to myself. Please, learn to make your characters believable. People will stop yelling at you--really. Unless, of course, they are purists.

9: Sueification: Some people express their desperation for love not through OC-Mary Sues/Gary Stus or poor self-inserts, but through Sueification of a canon character. They choose their favorite character, make him/her their god/goddess, pretty much turn him/her into a literal god/goddess (which constitutes a Sue/Stu), and pair him/her up with every single member of the opposite gender they can think of (and sometimes even with everyone of the SAME gender as well... yerk). Most of these are girls. Some well-known characters who have become such goddesses include Sakura, Kagome, Hinata, and Ino. Kagome is paired with any male from any anime, so she's essentially anime's Queen of the Gods. (All hail Queen Kagome!) Naruto and Sasuke are the biggest gods I've seen worshipped, Naruto in particular (just ask the Harem Squad). This leads to unnecessary hatred of characters, false labeling ("whore," "slut," etc.), and bad plotlines. The characters are beautiful the way they are. As for pairings, choose someone who your character can actually go with.

10: Female character hatred: Seriously. Why do female characters get so much hate? For some unfathomable reason, female characters get hated much, much more, for every anti-club against a male character, there are three against female characters, and male characters get excused for the bad things they do, but female characters are hated for the dumbest reasons. A lot of it comes from Yaoi fangirls who are more interested in their own perverted fantasies than in the actual show. Orihime OBVIOUSLY likes Ichigo because she wants to get in the way of his true love for Renji, Kairi is OBVIOUSLY a slut because she likes Sora and wants to come between him and Riku, Larxene OBVIOUSLY sucks because Organization XIII was formed so the members could have wild buttsmecks all the time, Sango and Kagome OBVIOUSLY need to die so that Inuyasha can screw Miroku, Winry OBVIOUSLY wants to interfere with Edward's PASSIONATE LOVE for Roy Mustang, Sakura and Hinata are OBVIOUSLY whores because they (OMFG NOES!) like Sasuke and Naruto, who are OBVIOUSLY so TRULY IN WUV. Takahashi, Kishimoto, Kubo, Square Enix, and Arakawa OBVIOUSLY worked hard to create female characters for the purpose of being hated, tortured, and killed, because anime is all about Yaoi, amirite? Force forbid you go and watch a YAOI ANIME, that usually has NO FEMALE CHARACTERS IN IT. Or if it does, they're not going to get in the way of the central Yaoi. Seriously, you Gravitation fans should LOVE Ayaka! What would you do if your fiance turned out to be gay for a pink-haired crybaby? Ayaka TRULY LOVED Yuki; she let him go so he could be with Shiuchi! Not only did she help get Yuki and Shuichi together (which you Yaoi fans WANT), that's truly noble! (I didn't actually watch Gravitation...) Sexist fangirls give our gender a bad name. Female character hate also comes from Suethors. Let's go kill Sakura and write her horribly OOC so Sasuke can be with you! That's stupid. SasuSaku isn't even canon yet. And of course Sakura is the devil incarnate, but Sasuke is perfect and can do no wrong, because he has "good" looks and a Y chromosome! Most of the time, MALE characters deserve to be hated, but are loved because of their looks. That's so shallow! Would you marry an abusive jerk because he was handsome? That reminds me: What would you do if you were in a female character's position? What would you do if you were spirited away to the Feudal Era? What would you do if you liked a guy who didn't know you liked him, but were too shy to tell him? What would you do if your friends were in trouble? What would you do if a man (or two) fell in love with you? What would you do if the man you loved loved you too but wouldn't choose between you and his dead ex-girlfriend? Oh, and quit calling female characters sluts and whores! Those terms refer to women who sleep around with guys. For example, Flay Allster is a whore because she seduced Kira Yamato just to get into his pants. A girl liking a guy, being his girlfriend/fiance/wife, or being paired up with every male in the series BY FANS (meaning it's not freaking canon!) does NOT make her one. So if you point to a female character and scream "Slut" or "Whore", you'd better be able to name one guy she screwed.

11: People who take any criticism as a flame: Constructive criticism is meant to help you. Flames are meant to harm you. There is a difference. Example flame: "Your work is trash. My dog can write better than this. You are a waste of sperm and egg, and I hope you burn in hell." Note the shameless author-bashing. Example CC: "Your plot is too rushed. One moment you have A wishing for B's attention, and the next they're going at it like bunnies. The romance needs time to develop. Also, A is completely out of character; she'd never betray C." See how the CC points out the author's errors and how they can be corrected? Even though I invented the "You no like, you no read" club, that refers to bashing on a story because of the pairing, plot, or whatnot. By no means did I mean for it to mean criticism of any kind should not be allowed. If your plotline is bad, or if everybody is completely out of character, you need help. Take my first fanfiction, "I, Illiana: An Original Tale." I did not realize that my OC character was a Mary Sue until I got several reviews offering advice on how to fix that problem (and a few flames saying that I was stupid, pretentious, and self-centered, but I got rid of those). It hurt to realize this, but I didn't scream back at the constructive critics and call them prejudiced jerks. I considered their advice, went back to my files on Word, and FIXED MY CHARACTER. You should be able to tell the difference between constructive and destructive criticism. I want to help you fix your story, not beat you to a bloody pulp. This is why younger writers should be careful about posting their fanfiction. I would have been too fragile for concrit when I was thirteen, but I didn't join the site until I was fifteen, and by then I'd developed more maturity, common sense, and spine than I had at thirteen. So unless you've got high self-esteem and are prepared to take criticism, don't show your writing to the world, because unfortunately the world won't care about your self-esteem.

12: Character claimers A character claimer says she'll kill any girl who dares think about touching "her" self-proclaimed man, and hates female characters solely because they are canonically matched with, or are in love with/crushing on, the aforementioned man (and are therefore "in the way" in the eyes of the fangirl). This shows great immaturity and stupidity, and you can rely on a claimer to write poorly and not keep anyone in character. I accept that some people are possessive in the romance department, but that's no excuse to yell at your romantic rivals (and you will have them!) or hate characters. If you must love or hate, do so for sensible reasons. Besides, being a claimer's pointless because it can't really happen.

14: Dub-bashing: Stop making stupid comments about how America screwed up all your favorite anime. The dubbers' job is hard enough as it is. The translation is very hard in and of itself, but the dubbers also have to hire decent voice-actors and do what the TV network asks of them (even though anime is NOT for kids, despite their efforts). Admittedly some dubs are better than others (three words: Chance Pops Session), but come on. These people TRY. They TRY, and what do they get? Stupid disparaging remarks like "America ruins everything" and "OMG they cut out all the cussing, sex, and gore that were never in the anime in the first place!" and "Can you believe she actually said 'Mortal fool'? In the original she said 'stupid human'!" OK, why don't YOU try dubbing your favorite anime? Wait--you can't, because you couldn't do any better yourself! (4kids is an exception. They trash everything they can get their hands on. Bash them all you like.) Moreover, fansubs are unreliable. Every fansub is drastically different, and since it's fanmade, you can't trust that the translation is done well. And there is often more than one way to translate the Japanese. For instance, ningen no bakacan be translated as either "Stupid human" or "Mortal fool." IT'S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL. (Oh, and a purist who whines about dubs for these reasons is a ningen no baka.)

15: "Rape = Love" scenarios: This is almost as bad as Yaoi. I'm ashamed that people are actually possessed to write stories that go to the tune of A meets B, A rapes B, B enjoys it for some reason unexplained to the readers, A and B fall in love forever and ever. Same goes for pictures depicting the artist or his/her OC/favorite character being raped by someone he/she lusts after. This is a grave insult to not only the characters, but to people who have actually suffered rape. It is a painful, traumatic experience that leaves its victims scarred, and just the thought of it makes me afraid to go to bed. Rape is not love. Period.

16. Incest: This is something I really can't get past. Why. Would. Anyone. Support. This? It is not awesome, it is not cute, and it is not hot. It is sick and wrong. I don't even care if it's Yaoi or Yuri. The reason I don't want to see Itachi kiss Sasuke is not because they are both men, it is because they are BROTHERS. It is no different than if I were to sleep with my father, mother, brother, or sister! You cannot have a romance between siblings or between a parent and child, it's just disgusting!

17. Emos: I'm sorry, but I can't stand emos, whether real or fictional. It's natural to suffer and go through times of pain, but there's a fine line between suffering and being emo. To clarify, emo is being a crybaby and screaming at the world how much your life sucks and the world hates you. There's no point in that; you have to stand tall, do your best to be strong, and work toward your dreams. Besides, there is greater suffering than that of emos. Before you start whining and cutting yourself, go visit China or India. Moreover, there are way too many emo prettyboy characters who aren't even hot yet somehow have legions of fangirls. They tend to be Gary Stus more than half the time. I don't know why they are so beloved; not only are they not hot, it is the furthest thing from manly to be a crying baby.