So eh, not much to say really.

I'm a hobo who loves reading fanfiction, and now have very cautiously edged into writing them.

Harry Potter fanfiction is my one true constant, though I have delved into Psyche and Leverage and NCIS a few times, but have always returned to my one true love.

It's because the canon story was so disappointing that I must find solace in the fiction where Sirius and Fred and Snape are still alive, Draco's character is thoroughly explored rather than forgotten about, and Harry finds true happiness instead of being bumped off with his mother's doppleganger. I mean really, I couldn't even find where the romance started in that pairing.

Fav Characters: (And a few Rants)

Severus Snape- Because Allen Rickman's voice is full of sex and Severus' name just rolls off the tongue like sin and his character is so horribly mistreated throughout the entire book. His entire adult life was spent repenting for all his sins and not once did he ever receive any happiness or a reprieve from his suffering. He had a shitty childhood, the only woman he ever loved hated his guts and married his enemy and indirectly died from his actions, he was forced to waste his genius teaching children instead of furthering his career as a potions master, he had to play servant to two masters, had to kill the one man who he saw as the closest thing to a father he'll ever have, and died in a dusty shack. Because of this I shall always think of J.K. Rowling as a heartless bitch.

Harry Potter- I found his character in the canon books absolutely unrealistic. Bare in mind that Harry Potter was abused by his guardians, they have never celebrated his birthday and I very much doubt they ever included him in on Christmas and he probably didn't even know his name was Harry until he went to elementary school. Though he wasn't abused physically, verbal abuse can be just as damaging and he knew from the very beginning that he was never loved by them. Therefore it should have shattered him completely when Sirius offered to be his family but was unable to take him in in third year. To know that someone wanted him but couldn't have him would have been like fate giving him a giant bitch slap in the face. When Sirius died in 5th year, it should have destroyed Harry. To lose the one person who loved him unconditionally and blaming himself for it AND be sent back to those who never loved him, a mental breakdown would have been inevitable. How he could have ever survived all that without therapy is beyond me. I would have said fuck the wizarding world had all that shit happened to me. That's why I love DarkHarry or at the very least NeutralHarry or SmartHarry. I also like a PowerfulHarry but not beyond ridiculously powerful Harry, which is why I shy away from CreatureHarry.

Lucius Malfoy- Because really, that man is damn sexy.

Hermione Granger- Because she was the strong female that kept the trio together in the hardest times. She made sure they remembered that they actually have a chance at a future and forced them to study so they wouldn't regret their grades. She kept those two idiots grounded, and it dismayed me greatly the way she was treated throughout the entire series. She was labeled bookish and annoying for most of it, but I was overjoyed when she knocked out Malfoy and was able to snatch Viktor Krum as a date. But the way she was treated by Ron in fourth year was unacceptable and she should have never taken him back, and never married him. I found her too strong and too driven to let herself be weighed down by kids and the married life. People seem to forget that it might be possible that fighting is annoyance and dislike of the other character, not pent up sexual tension.

Draco Malfoy- Because he's sexy junior. I hate the way he was labeled off as spoiled, weak, and nothing more. Simply someone there to focus on before Harry had to fully deal with Voldemort. Lucius seemed too proud a man to allow himself to ever raise a stupid and spoiled son. He should have been refined, at least in the later books, but still possess his sharp tongue and quick temper.

Fred and George Weasley- Who doesn't love those red headed fiends? Any threesome with the twins will always be beyond hot. It was beyond cruel to kill Fred. George could never look in a mirror without being reminded of his other half.

Neville Longbottom- I can never forgive how much this poor boy was grossly overlooked. He was the nicest, sweetest boy there, a tad shy perhaps, but a loyal friend. He had actually worried about the trio in first year and tried to stop them from going on that stupid adventure and got himself petrified for what must have been hours for his effort. They didn't even say sorry to him! But I loved how he actually enjoyed the dancing in fourth year in the movie and bravely fought in the war along side them all. I strongly believe that he would've been a better friend to Harry than Ron ever was.

Remus Lupin- Who didn't fall in love with the poor man? Honestly?

Sirius Black- Again J.K. Rowling is a horrible bitch for what she did to him. First Azkaban, then the guy who framed him gets away, and then he's stuck in his family home where he had no found memories at all, and then dies by drapes. WTF?

Fav Pairings

Harry Potter:

Harry/Snape

Harry/Lucius

Harry/Fred/George

Harry/Neville

Harry/Draco

Harry/Krum (Because his accent makes my insides melt)

Snape/Lucius

Snape/Hermione

Snape/Neville (because in my strange twisted mind, it makes sense)

Draco/Hermione

Draco/Fred/George

Draco/Ron (because it's so damn unlikely, Ron has to be completely OOC)

Sirius/Snape (it's almost crack)

Sirius/Remus (it's almost canon)

Harry Potter Crossovers:

Harry/Riddick (there are some really good fics of them out there, go read em)

Harry/Batman (There needs to be more of this)

Harry/Mori (Ouran Highschool Host Club, cuz it's damn adorable)

Harry/Captain Jack Sparrow (There needs to be more of this)

Harry/Jacob (Twilight, love Jacob, can't stand Edward)

Draco/Jacob (OMG TEAM JACOB XD *is shot*)

Psyche:

Spencer/Lassiter (it's almost canon man)

Gus/Juliet

Leverage:

Elliot/Hardison

Elliot/Hardison/Parker

NCIS:

Gibbs/Tony

Gibbs/Mcgee

Gibbs/Tony/Mcgee

Gibbs/Abby

Just some quotes I found clever/funny

Dennis: NCIS, never heard of it. Gibbs: That's embarrassing. Dennis: Is it anything like CSI. Gibbs:Only if you're dyslexic.

"Correct as always my silver haired fox... I mean Gibbs... sir... boss... " Abby

"You're not listening to a word I'm saying. I'm pregnant McGee. Twins. Haven't told the father yet. It's Gibbs. I know it's wrong, but something about his silver hair gets me all tingly inside." Abby

"McGee, never forget, I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence." Abby

Said in a very grave and somber tone "I feel like tacos." Me to my brother

"...I need keys to drive this thing, don't I." Me to my brother after getting inside my truck

"Man, I'm in the mood for some man beef." My older brother, referring to steaks

"Man, I just got done beating my meat and now I got man beef juice all over the counter." Older brother again, referring to steaks, again

OMIGOSH I HAVE TRANSLATIONS!

So the wonderful EveJHoang has offered to translate There's No Such Thing as Normalin french, and here it is!

: // www . fanfiction . net / s / 8178494 / 1 / Theres _ no _ such _ thing _ as _ normal

What a wonderful person! I don't read french, but for those who do, check it out!

I will be continuing this story, don't worry, it's just taking me a while with the rewrite.

NEW STORY ALERT NEW STORY ALERT!

I have convinced my Lovebug Leunbrund to start a profile because she is a lovely writer. We have a collaboration up and running on her page http://www.fanfiction.ws/u/4071116/

It's called The Hat is Always Right and it's a Hogwarts fic based in the 1920s, check it out and give my love some love!

http://www.fanfiction.ws/s/8500778/1/The-Hat-is-Always-Right