Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Andrew Cook, the host of Pretentious Internet Theatre.

In my show, I present the finest in internet fan-fiction. That would be some of your stories.

All stories are read as the author originally intended, with only a bit of editorial comment; set to classical music.

However, I do not stop there. I also present listener mail. From time to time, I've presented interviews the authors he spotlighted in an episode. Each episode is guaranteed to improve your life as this show is truly for the elite.

This is because I share the wisdom of the sages, his insight as to why he’s better than you, and builds you up to remind you why we all are better than the slack-jawed plebeians toward whom we turn upward our noses.

I contact all authors featured on my program. So if you joined the showcase of the immortals, enjoy your fame.