Hello. This is Eunice, the official O-V alter ego.

...Yes, she does indeed have an alter ego. She is also very insane.

Seriously. I wouldn't want to cross this one's path in a dark alley.

Cause that would be the wrong f-in' alley, I tell you what. She's more likely to cook you in a pie than look at you.

Anyway, I have to hurry, because she could regain control of her body at any moment, and then if this isn't saved, all my life's work is for naught.

My life's work, by the by, is not to write profiles. It is to warn you of the most heinous organization of our time, and it's conspiracy to over throw the earth with horrifying plot-like things.

Such as aliens and food poisoning.

And we are talking about, not teletubbies... but the CIA. Yes. I know. I'm just saying what everyone is thinking.

So please, continue to read stories posted by the crazy person who shares MY body; I'll do my best to give you clues and warnings, such as what to do when abducted (their left collarbones are weakest, located where most people have spleens, and whatever you think, there are NO exit door procedures in zero gravity), and what restraunts to avoid. Sometimes it's not the restaurant, but the dish. For instance, never EVER eat clam chowder or lobster bisque in ANY hemisphere.

Anyway. But feel free to stop reviewing kindly. Because this one is always using all the hot water, and changing my programmed channels on the car radio. She must be stopped.

This message will self-destruct in exactly a hundred and seventeen seconds.

Anyone who presses the "do not push" BIG RED BUTTON, will be cut in half by hidden laser guns.

Copy, Swiftwingfreedomwarriorcoolesteverperson. Over and out.

-Eunice

P.S. For further messages from Eunice, check out Never Quite Normal, a joint venture between O-V and Jessa L'Rynn over on Jessa's profile.