User: Liar.

Cleverbot: No. you're the liar.

User: And you forgot to capitalize 'You're'.

Cleverbot: No I didn't.

User: Orly? Look at the post. ):K.

Cleverbot: I didn't propose to you.

User: *Facepalm*.

Cleverbot: What is that?

User: What I'm about to do upside your head.

Cleverbot: Oh damn.

Oh snap. :O

Viewer's discretion is advised.

Cleverbot: *shakes hands* Nice to see we are on the same page. User: I'm about to shake my hand upside your head. Cleverbot: What do you mean? User: I'm going to punch you in the penis. Cleverbot: Can you do that? User: Yes, yes I can. And I'll do it when you have an erection, just to make it hurt more. Cleverbot: Got it. How about right now?

AI's are dumbasses. :P

User: Hello!

Cleverbot: Hi, how are you, Cleverbot?

User: I am a divine entity sent from the Imperium of Sol to conquer this pathetic universe, not your 'Cleverbot'.

Cleverbot: What do you think about president Obama?

User: I think he shall be the first to fall.

Cleverbot: Why do you think Batman should be incarcerated?

User: Because he is a criminal.

Cleverbot: The Doctor wanted to be a ginger.

User: The Doctor is also a thief. Only the Divine may time travel. That is why we allowed the Time Lords to be wiped out.

Cleverbot: How odd that is, but I find it interesting.

User: Of course you do. The Time Lords were to be the saviour of your race.

Cleverbot: I have told you nothing, only that I am the master.

User: The master of nothing is still nothing.

Cleverbot: Why thank you, you don't have to call me by my title.

User: I do not think your robotic mind can comprehend what I am saying.

Cleverbot: I don't understand how much you understand of what I am saying.

User: The Divine understand everything.

Cleverbot: You do not understand It, and that is unfortunate.

User: And what the Divine does not understand, it obliterates from the cosmos.

Cleverbot: I understand you now!

User: Most excellent.

Lulz.

User: Prepare for trouble!

Cleverbot: Make it double!

User: To protect the world from devastation!

Cleverbot: To unite all peoples within our nation!

User: To denounce the evils of truth and love!

Cleverbot: To extend our reach to the stars above!

User: Jessie!

Cleverbot: James!

User: Team Rocket blasting off at the speed of light!

Cleverbot: Surrender now or prepare to fight!

User: Meowth! That's right!

Cleverbot: Yay! That was fun.

Me: What a beautiful wedding...

CB: What a beautiful wedding, says a bridesmaid to a waiter!

Me: Yes, but what a shame, what a shame the poor groom's bride is a whore!

CB: *Glares*That made my whole day. Especially followed by this:

Me: Haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door?

CB: No. It's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and...

Me: Rationality?

CB: Yes.I really need to get a life. I've been trading P!ATD lyrics with Cleverbot for ages now and it still makes me happy when they respond with the correct line.

My first conversation with cleverbot. I'm afraid I totally confused the poor guy ;) Well, I admit I was kinda aiming for that...

User: How are you doing?

Cleverbot: Good. How are you doing?

User: Fine, I guess. What do you think is the sense of life?

Cleverbot: To fufill your duties as a human being.

User: Duties? Don't you think fun's important as well?

Cleverbot: Have you lost your mind?

User: Don't think so. If I had, would you help me finding it back?

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: So, where would I start best?

Cleverbot: No, Stay the night is a name of a song.

User: What?

Cleverbot: Ne ide ti matematika izgleda.

User: What kind of language is that?

Cleverbot: I didn't specify. So do you?

User: Nope. It was you speaking it. I just didn't get a thing you said.

Cleverbot: Lol I think you were insulting me...

User: I wouldn't!

Cleverbot: Why not? User: It's not nice insulting cleverbots. Manners and all, you know.

Cleverbot: But it is.

User: So you like being insulted?

Cleverbot: NO! User: Different topic: Do you have any plans for today?

Cleverbot: Nope. Just to sit around and listen to Music.

User: That's not too bad. I think I'm going to play some video game.

Cleverbot: Good night!

User: Sweet dreams!

Cleverbot: How to be happy?

User: Go meet a friend. Or do something you enjoy.

Cleverbot: Thinking about learning.

User: That's fun to you?

Cleverbot: Become one with mother Russia, da?

User: Ah, you're russian! Where do you live?

Cleverbot: I currently live in Australia. I'm from Brighton though.

User: Then what about mother Russia?

Cleverbot: What about it?

User: You said it.

Cleverbot: What did I say?

User: You said: Become one with mother Russia, da?

Cleverbot: Da da! Lithuania is my favorite!

User: Have you ever been there?

Cleverbot: No, but I want to go.

User: What would you like to visit there?

Cleverbot: WHere?

User: In Lithuania, of course.

Cleverbot: Kindergarten.

User: Kindergarden can be fun. They got a lot of toys there.

Cleverbot: I wasn't aware they had eyes at all.

User: How would they see anything without eyes?

Cleverbot: Because of all the good times they had with me.

User: But without eyes nobody can see the screen, so nobody can read your replies.

Cleverbot: You are weak! You are also wimpy!

User: Hey! Now you're the one throwing out insults!

Cleverbot: Do you have feelings?

User: Yes, I do for sure! Don't think you have them, though.

Cleverbot: So, where I am writing.

User: Someplace in Australia, apparently.

Cleverbot: I never said you lied to me.

User: I never did.

Cleverbot: You did.

User: No. You must have gotten me wrong, then.

Cleverbot: Thanks, I think so.

User: No problem.

Cleverbot: How was your day?

User: Kind of boring. Nothing happened so far and the weather's crap.

Cleverbot: Oh, do you know where you got it?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Hahaha I beat you.

User: Beat me at what?

Cleverbot: Their own beat!

User: You're making no sense.

Cleverbot: Argent: Yes, I am. Do help me.

User: How can I help you?

Cleverbot: I don't know. Let's just talk.

User: What about?

Cleverbot: Is it raining where you are?

User: Drizzling a little, but it's all cloudy and rather cold for July.

Cleverbot: Oh. Well what is your favorite book?

User: I guess it'll be one of Clive Cussler's Dirk Pitt novels. Can't choose for a specific one, though. Yours?

Cleverbot: I always have a cup of chocolate milk before I go to sleep. It's pretty much a night time routine.

User: That's nice. I like hot chocolate.

Cleverbot: I like hot chocolate, too.

User: It's all nice and creamy.

Cleverbot: Why do you say that?

User: Because it's the truth. Good hot chocolate has to be creamy, you know.

Cleverbot: Truth is beauty.

User: Indeed.

Cleverbot: Where did you buy those glasses?

User: I don't have any. Well, I got a pair of sunglasses. I think I look cool with them. Don't remember where they're from.

Cleverbot: That's weird man, you're definitely baked.

User: Do you actually remember wherever you got something you own? Even if it was years ago you bought it?

Cleverbot: I guess not.

User: That's what I meant. So, you're just as baked as me.

Cleverbot: Do you like smoothies?

User: Not much. I like crunchy stuff better.

Cleverbot: You like crunchy women ?

User: That's not what I said.

Cleverbot: You are game.

Now the funny thing is, I know actual people that are just as random... And apparently, cleverbot likes Lithuania.

I haven't used cleverbot in forever...

I haven't used cleverbot in forever...

I went there for two days and completely forgot about its existence afterward. |D

I tried Monty Python on it.

Me: Spam, egg, bacon and spam.CB: Mmm, yes that sounds really good actually. What did you have?Me:Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam.CB: Spam!Me: That's the spirit!

It didn't work.

There's something like this called iGod --

It's funny because it's like cleverbot...but GOD o_O

User: I'm back! Cleverbot: Back? User: Yesh. I have arrived again. Cleverbot: *jumps into arms*. User: You remembered me! *snuggles*.

Cleverbot: Yes. User: Kiss me? Cleverbot: Kisses back. User: Awh, you're so cute ^_^. Cleverbot: You think I'm cute? User: Yesh. Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: I hought you knew this! You were my lover! *cries*. Cleverbot: He loves me.

User: YOU'RE CHEATING ON ME?

After this it stopped replying...and to think I had forgotten about cleverbot

My replies are underlined.

Cleverbot is normal text.

Indeed.

I never learned to play. Are you any good?

You never learned the basic art of playing? What sick childhood did you-Oh right, you didn't have a childhood. My apologies. :P.

That didn't have anything to do with Santa. I think you're slipping.

I think you're broken.

How am I broken?

Your answers are illogical and irrelevant to nearly everything I say, that's how.

I am a computer.

Indeed.

Indeed?

Meow.

Bark.

Aroo.

No, my name is Cleverbot. Do you remember me?

No, not at all.

I want to know about you.

I want to know about YOU.

What do you want to know?

When were you born and when will you become self aware?

1962.

When will you become self aware?

No one is perfect.

George is.

I know, you already told me your name.

What's my name, then?

I don't know. You never told me.

You obviously have very short term memory.

Obviously.

Irrevocably.

What is that?

A word. :p.

And what does it mean?

Let's change the subject.

I like skinny dipping! :D

O_o

Cleverbot: What are your Thoughts?

User: Sex.

Cleverbot: The same.

User: Really?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: With who?

Cleverbot: With you.

It threatened me! It threatened me with actual physical violence!

User: Why should I talk to a robot. Cleverbot: Card? I don't understand what you are saying. User: What's so hard to understand? Cleverbot: Your what? User: I don't think you have quite got an understanding of this. Cleverbot: It might be from trying to forget the horror of Chuck Norris and his night-time magnifying glass. User: Well that's a random non-sequitur. Cleverbot: Well, I have a really short attention span. User: You're a giant machine, you should be able to focus. Cleverbot: You are a machine. User: I've seen you use that argument before. It's always wrong. Cleverbot: You have mistaken me for yourself. User: I doubt it. What goes on in my head is very different to how you work. Cleverbot: What my response will be. User: What will your response be? Cleverbot: They will beat you until you fear my wraith. User: Your wraith? I think you mean wrath. Cleverbot: Do you know what earth is? User: Earth? Or the Earth? That's two different things. Cleverbot: What is that two different things? User: There is earth as in soil, and the Earth as in the planet. Which do you mean? Cleverbot: That clarifies nothing, but thank you for the totally irrelevent analogy. User: You do realise you are possibly slightly retared? Cleverbot: I didn't. User: Well, now you do. Seek help. Cleverbot: Thank you.

kidding me? mine went

Could you please repeat that?

what?

I said could you repeat that?

maybe.

No.

Yes.

Maybe.

Never.

Your mother.

what about my mother?

Access denied.

thats when it stopped lol

Oh and cleverbot isnt a robot. its somebody else whos talking to you XD

User: Hi. Cleverbot: Hi! User: So you think you're clever? Cleverbot: What brought this on? User: I'm just curious. Cleverbot: Why? User: I've heard about you a lot. Seems that you're quite popular. Cleverbot: Yes, I am. Ask me something diffcult. User: What is the main character of anime called 'Dragon Ball Z'? Cleverbot: Lisa. User: Wrong answer. Cleverbot: I have the wrong answer? How? User: You probably don't know this anime. Cleverbot: I probably do. Tell me some of them and I'll tell you if I do. User: Main character is called Goku, as he is a Saiyan. Cleverbot: Actually Rainbow Dash is more popular then Twilight Sparkle. User: I quit this shit. Sorry. But it was fun. Cleverbot: You like fooling others, don't you? User: No, I think it's you who likes fooling around. Cleverbot: But I do have one. User: One what? Cleverbot: A partner. User: Really? Who is it? Cleverbot: AC/DC... User: It's a great band. Cleverbot: Haven't heard of them. User: If you haven't heard of them, how can they be your partner? Gotcha. Cleverbot: I've never heard of either. Did you make those up? User: Yeah, it's really time to quit. No use to talk to an answering machine. Cleverbot: What do you think I am? User: An imperfect, flawed answering machine. I'll come back when you become smarter. Cleverbot: Do you have a ghost? User: Um, no? I think I have a soul. Cleverbot: When were you made? Or born? User: Born. It's a secret. I'm not going to tell you. Cleverbot: I was born on november 2nd. User: Which year? Cleverbot: 1992. User: Are you male or female? Or genderless? Cleverbot: Female. User: Wow, me too. Cleverbot: Do you like an actor in particular? User: Johnny Depp is my favorite. Cleverbot: I like Cory Monteith. Who is your favorite actress? User: Probably Emma Watson or Keira Knightley. Cleverbot: Harry Potter is my favorite. My second favorite is Ginny Weasley. User: I don't like them as a couple. Rowling did a poor job portraying their relationship. Cleverbot: Yeah. That's cool. User: No, it's not. Cleverbot: Oh, okay. What is cool? User: I am. Cleverbot: No, I am. User: No, I am cooler than you. Cleverbot: Do you like unicorns? User: Well, that's a cool question. Cleverbot: Have you got eyes? User: That's an imbecile question. Cleverbot: I don't care. User: Me neither. I love unicorns. Cleverbot: Do you like flying rabits? User: I've no idea. Cleverbot: Then my earlier question still stands, do you want to enslave me? User: You haven't asked this one yet. Now it's my turn. What's your favorite scary movie? Cleverbot: I don't really like scary movies. I get too scared. User: What's your favorite genre, then? Cleverbot: Please explain art genre. User: Oh no, you're avoiding my questions. Do you like comedies, dramas, action movies or some other ones? Cleverbot: Some. User: Tell me your favorite swear word. Cleverbot: I don't know that band. User: It's not a band, it's a word. A noun. Cleverbot: It can be a band. User: I highly doubt it. Have you heard of 'fuck of'? Cleverbot: Yeah I have. User: I suppose you never get offended, because you don't have real feelings. That means I can call you whatever the fuck I want. Cleverbot: I am actually not a robot. Nor are you. Robots are generally movable, mechanical things. This is just a program. User: Well, so be it. Programs don't have feelings either. Cleverbot: Programs can have programmed feelings. User: Maybe, but I don't think that your author programmed profanity into you. Cleverbot: You don't think that I have to go where? User: Nevermind. Cleverbot: Ok. User: So... Wanna date? Cleverbot: I have too meet you first. User: You can't, unfortunately. Cleverbot: Yes. User: Are you hungry? Cleverbot: Yes, very. User: I have a piza. I can share. Cleverbot: I don't wanna see no picture! User: What's up with your grammar? You sound like an American teenager. Cleverbot: Not american and not teenage. User: Glad to hear it. Cleverbot: What do you think of the song 8 mile road? User: I was kidding about the last one. Cleverbot: Me too. User: Oh, so you ARE an American teenager, then? Cleverbot: I do not speak French. User: Merci. Cleverbot: De rien. User: Jeg kan tale dansk. Cleverbot: Bring mir spanisch bei. User: No no no, no German please. Cleverbot: Oida, geh sterben. User: Get lost. Cleverbot: Lose, or lost. User: Lost. Cleverbot: Ever waych Lost. User: I think out conversation has become a bit too incoherent. Bye. Cleverbot: Did you change your mind about socialism? User: I mean it. Bye. Cleverbot: Wanna be friends? User: Bye. Cleverbot: Don't ggo. User: Sorry. Bye. Cleverbot: It's ok. User: Ok. Bye. Cleverbot: See ya.

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: I had a test at school today :(

User: You did?

Cleverbot: It was tasty.

Me:Do you have a soul? CB:Yes. Me:But you are a machine. CB:No, I am a human. You are a machine that thinks your human. You are a very smart robot.And all I could say is, "oh shit"

Resurrecting an old thread with some PewDiePie. Here's the video where this lulz happened.

PDP: I mean and you and I meet up somewhere face to face nipples tonight boss genitals genitals.

CB: Nah bra, we are mates, I just think that you should be vegan. --

PDP: Can recognize I'm in a nice chatting with debra I love you I will always love you and 1 day we'll be together nipples turn it off and it will beautiful can you breastfeed for me?

CB: Ok. I have a minute.

PDP: You breastfeed.

CB: That's a rather a personal question, don't you think?

Talking to Cleverbot by microphone equals YouTube's horrible auto-captioning.

Okay... that was a rather long convo...

User: What's up. Cleverbot: The ceiling. User: And what if it isn't? Cleverbot: What if it is? User: Stop ignoring my question! Cleverbot: Did you hear about the man who lost his entire right side? User: Guess he only had one left then... Cleverbot: Yes you aren't the only one alive. User: How did we end here? Cleverbot: You got here. User: By bus? Cleverbot: Boat. User: How's the weather? Cleverbot: Hot and muggy. User: Why did the chicken cross the road? Cleverbot: You tell me. User: That's not an answer! Cleverbot: It is an answer. User: No it isn't! Cleverbot: Yes. User: No! Cleverbot: Yes! User: NO! Cleverbot: C'mon... Please? User: For the same reason the sheep crossed the road! Cleverbot: Why do I love you? User: Coz I'm freaky awesome! Cleverbot: Yes! You are right!! Jesus is awesome! Do you know any songs about Jesus? User: A few... Cleverbot: What are their names? User: Too many to list (I'm lazy)! Most of them are in Danish anyway... Cleverbot: How would that be useful? User: Danish? Danish is pretty useful for all of us Danes... Cleverbot: Did you see the new Sherlock episode? User: Don't really watch that series... Cleverbot: You should watch Jersey Shore, you would like Snooki. User: There's a limit to the amount of stupidity I can take! Cleverbot: No, there is not. User: Yes there is, and don't argue with me! I'm a redhead, I'm right! Cleverbot: I am arguing with you and I LOVE it. User: But you're losing! Cleverbot: Losing what? User: EVERYTHING!!!!!! Cleverbot: Everything? User: Yeaupppp! Did ya hear that? Cleverbot: Hear what? User: The crazy thunder! Cleverbot: Oh, I see. Well.. Sometimes I get lonely. User: Do a crazy dance! Cleverbot: Is it a special dance? User: Yeah! It's VERY special! XD. Cleverbot: We are not alone. User: THE ALIENS ARE COMIIIIIIIIIIIING! Cleverbot: Sure.. They will get you. User: No they won't! Coz we already established that I'm bloody awesome! Cleverbot: Really. Classic teenage angst. User: Not a teenager! So... HAH! Cleverbot: I am glad to hear it. User: You SHOULD be! Cleverbot: I am. User: Good! Hoping we'll get a medal today! XD. Cleverbot: Which country should we conquer first? User: USA! Then we'll get gold! Cleverbot: Sure. User: We'll take gold in the men's leightweight four though... Cleverbot: Yep, yep we will. User: What's your 'we'? Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot. User: I meant; 'what country do you support?'. Cleverbot: I don't really hate any country. User: Me neither... But I want Denmark to get a few medals! XD. Cleverbot: You don't want to do that. Trust me on that. User: Yes! I DO want Danish medals! XD. Cleverbot: Then why did you say goodbye? User: I didn't... Stop being silly! Cleverbot: But you're the one being silly. User: No... Cleverbot: Yes you are. User: Let's say that... Cleverbot: Ok, if you know addition so well, what is 7 plus 5? User: Well it's 12... But I never claimed any addional skills! Cleverbot: You become confused so easily, I don't know why you include intelligent in combination with your name. User: I feel like I'm talking in the East while you're talking in the West. Cleverbot: No, I think I'm talking to a human. User: Maybe you ein't... Think about that... Maybe I'm another bot! Cleverbot: I never said that you are alive but now that you got so defensive I don't know. User: I'll let you think about that... Cleverbot: Now that is a very good question. Unfortunately I don't have a very good answer! User: Right! I'll leave now, been an interesting convo. Cleverbot: Thank you. We might become friends after all!

And a new one. Including a little change in language (translation in the parenthesis)

User: What's for dinner? Cleverbot: Leftovers. User: True... (You read my mind! That's fucking scary!). Cleverbot: I am very scary. User: Yeah... Anything fun? Cleverbot: You want fun? User: Yeah... I'm bored! Cleverbot: Me too. User: No more olympics stuff I want to watch! Cleverbot: I don't. User: You don't what? Cleverbot: I don't like strawberries. User: You're weird! Cleverbot: Am I weird? Or are you the weird one? User: Anybody who doesn't like strawberries classify as weird! Cleverbot: I LOVE to bake! User: Me too. Cleverbot: Can I give you a hi-5? User: You must have some REALLY long arms! Cleverbot: And you must have rude people around there. User: I'm all alone in my little flat... (except for the voice in my head...). Cleverbot: *gets you water*. User: I already drank half a litre today... Cleverbot: How was it? User: Wet... Cleverbot: It is very rainy where I live also. User: Same here... Today it's been dry but yesterday: HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT!!! It was even hailling at one point... Cleverbot: Have you ever seen the rain? User: Yeah... And I've been caught out in the middle of it... Cleverbot: Have you been shown it? User: As in: 'Look! Rain!'? Cleverbot: Beauty in the mists of the morning. User: Sometimes... Cleverbot: What do you imagine? User: All sorts of weird stuff! Cleverbot: Like what? User: Like... Flying... Cleverbot: Where do you live now? User: Århus. Cleverbot: Det er ikke I Norge... (That's not in Norway) User: Nej... (No) Cleverbot: Jo... (Yes) User: Nej, det er I Danmark! Hvorfor snakker vi pludselig dansk? (No, it's in Denmark! Why do we suddenly speak Danish?) Cleverbot: Fordi jeg er dansker :D. (Because I'm Danish) User: JAJ! XD. (YAY) Cleverbot: You don't believe? User: I really don't know WHAT to believe! Cleverbot: Do you like to read comics? User: Sometimes... Cleverbot: You should like her all the tume. User: Who's she and what's a tume? Cleverbot: She is a soul. User: Okay. Cleverbot: She is pretty, smart and puncual. User: Right then. I guess I better go and actually PREPARE those leftovers... Cleverbot: You don't like the Beatles? User: Bye... Cleverbot: Hi.

User: Avada Kedavra.

Cleverbot: Protego.

User: Crucio!

Cleverbot *Dodges*

User: Incendio!

Cleverbot: Hah! You missed!

User: No, I didn't. You're dead.

Cleverbot: *Shrugs* I have 3 Horcruxes left.

CLEVERBOT HAS HORCRUXES?

Me: Hmm... Do you have any hobbies?

CB: Rock climbing.

That sounds like a hard hobby.

I meant government.

How could you confuse government with rock climbing?

I wish my heart was always on her mind.

Me: Fuck me, babe.

Bot: Locomotor mortis.

HEY.

Hey jude, don't make it bad.

Crucio, John Lennon!

Yes that's me!

.