This is a thread for all your pun and riddle marathons.

First person to suggest a more imaginative title wins a crayon!

Woodchuckery!

*throws log*

Old doctors never die - they just lose their patience.

Stealing someone's coffee is called 'mugging'.

Alcohol and calculus don't mix so don't drink and derive.

He said I was average - but he was just being mean.

I decided that becoming a vegetarian was a missed steak.

Deafness is getting to be quite a problem for me lately. I never thought I'd hear myself say that.

When the TV repairman got married the reception was excellent.

Time's fun when you're having flies!

-Kermit the frog =p

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.

Arrows make the enemy quiver while bombs make the enemy shake and quake.

A cardboard belt would be a waist of paper.

I'm going to be discussing global warming next week, it's quite a heated topic.

If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and go out, it could spell disaster.

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

When crazy glue was invented lots of people became attached to it.

When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

Don't kiss birds or you may get an untweetable canarial disease.

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was ticketed for littering.

We were so poor when I was growing up we couldn't even afford to pay attention.

The most important thing to know about becoming a urologist is that you have to be able to go with the flow.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

I used to do rock climbing as a youth, but I was much boulder back then.

If you want to be come an optometrist, there's more than meets the eye.

I used to be a tap dancer until I fell in the sink.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

Heh heh. Nude pun.

I hired a ghost photographer. The spirit was willing but the flash was weak.

I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.

Good ol' Scottish accents. :D

Let's talk about rights and lefts. You're right so I left.