Hello everyone,

This is my very first Harry Potter Fanfiction. Please ignore grammar throughout the story, I have a mental disability that prevents me from making good grammar choices.

Anyways this Fanfiction is based off of some thoughts I had after reading many of the random Fanfictions on here in many different areas. This story will take place after The Prisoner of Azkaban and before The Goblet of Fire (By: J.K Rowling), with a few tweaks of my own in it. I put a long thought out process into this and I hope you like what i have come up with. The beginning of the story will start off with every thought of the prior books before I created this Fanfiction. After that the plot will splinter into a new one.

!Content Warnings Begin Here!

This is kind of an AU but not really. It is mostly an AR which will be slowly explained through the contents of this story. There will be hurt, gore, character deaths, content between men that isn't for young eyes, war, hints at abuse and or rape from the main hero's past, m-preg, Time travel, Slight Gender Bend (nothing sexual happens, just needed for the effect I wat in the story) and Language not suited for children.

PS: I'm not glorifying rape if you don't like me raising awareness of it in my stories then leave now and don't read simple as that. I know personally how bad it is, just because I choose to write about it doens't mean I glorify it. It's a REAL life issue that needs awareness to it so get over your rose colored glasses of the world.

I hope you all enjoy this chapter and look forward to hearing from you all. If you have questions please feel free to ask. Each review will be given a proper answer at the beginning of each and every chapter.

See you all later!

Things in the story you might want to know.

"Talking, Spells"

'Thinking or thoughts/ sound affects/ Memories'

-Parseltongue-

.:Spells:.

Chapter One - The Start of Trouble

Pain… Searing, throbbing, and ever present pain which seemed to never go away. This pain that always preceded most things in his life since the day he was born that was all he has ever known. He didn't know what love was, and he didn't think he ever would. He curled in on himself, awaiting the next blow he knew was about to come. His shirt shredded from the brutal attack, and he knew all too well that he probably was going to be forced to fix as much of it as he could. 'Thwack,' the sound of leather meeting flesh resounded in the hallway of the house on Privet Drive. The man above him was blue in the face from his constant yelling, and his vicious words continually spewed from between his lips. It had been an accident, and yet Harry was unable to voice the words as a foot landed into his gut, having altered from the use of the leather belt to physical attacks from his uncle's foot. More pain flamed out across his chest and made his breaths come out in short gasps. He bit his lip to keep from crying out and strangled each whimper that tried to tear from his throat. He could tell he had a broken rib, just by the mind numbing pain that laced across his torso. When the blows stopped, he didn't look up at his uncle and just merely listened to the whale of a man as he spit out words venomously.

"If I catch you using that freakish magic again, you freak, I swear this punishment will be the least of your worries," he spat out.

He roughly grabbed Harry's hair and yanked upwards on it. His breath hitched, and he kept his eyes closed as his Uncle Vernon began to drag him up the stairs, before throwing the broken and bloodied boy onto his own bedroom floor. He hurled a few more insults at the boy before giving him a disgusted look and turning to leave, whilst slamming the door behind him before multiple locks clicked into place to keep him from trying to sneak out to heal and clean out his wounds.

Hissing in pain, Hairy pulled himself over to his bed and getting himself into an upright position. His ribs protested painfully as he hissed out between his clenched teeth. He gently tugged his shirt up over his head and looked at the tattered remains of what was left of his shirt. He sighed, knowing full well the shirt was a lost cause to repair it. Since Vernon kept not only his trunk and other magical items in his old room, the cupboard under the stairs, but his wand was also there alongside them. Which meant using magic to fix it was out of the question. Shivering in the cool air of the room, he got himself standing before walking over to his wardrobe and pulling out another shirt he could wear the next day. He didn't bother putting it on, because it was more than likely that he wasn't going to be coming out of the room any time soon.

Harry felt stupid for what had happened to have gotten him into such a position. He'd been out in the garden, pulling weeds to make the flowerbed neat and pristine just like every other house on Privet Drive. The sickeningly sweet and yet exactly alike houses made Harry hate the place all the more then he already did. It was during this chore that a snake appeared in the garden. A harmless little Gardner snake lay basking in the sun between the petals of the flowers that were there. Aunt Petunia had come out to check up on him to see if he wasn't destroying her garden and had come across him talking to the snake as though it was another human being, but that isn't what freaked her out. It was the fact that Harry had been hissing out the words and the snake had replied back to whatever he'd said. Like always, Petunia blathered to Vernon saying he was talking to a snake, which led to the man believing that Harry was using some kind of magic, or possibly was the demon he always said he was, to talk to the snake. In the end Harry was beaten by his uncle until his skin bled and some bones cracked or broke. It wasn't his fault that he became unaware that others could not understand snakes as he did. That he forgot that he was the only one able to speak to them and hear them… well other than Voldemort that is.

Sighing Harry painfully made his way back to his bed. He remembered the first time he ever spoke in Parseltongue… It had led to a lonely session with people speaking about him being the next Dark Lord. Words spit at him as though he was a demon and not a wizard like the rest of them. Sure, Hermione and Ron hadn't turned on him, but the pale look, which Ron had given him, had been reluctant to say the least. He was unsure of Hermione on it though, although she did take it better than everyone else to say the least. Cringing as another wave of pain flitted over his chest, he laid back on the mattress. His breaths came out in shallow pants as he fought back a whimper of pain when his ribs protested within him. Harry adjusted himself to where his broken ribs would settle in their rightful angles before muttering a wandless healing spell. Vivid Avada Kedavra green eyes brightened a bit in relief when the pain died away to a numb feeling. This is how it always was for him since the day he'd been accepted into Hogwarts of Witchcraft and Wizardry. However, he had to admit the beatings only seemed to grow worse since he started there, and each year he always returned here.

Harry gave up on ever getting help. Help in the past had only caused him more pain, and there had been nothing that Harry could do about it. At this thought, Harry sat up and looked down over his torso. He had varying types of scars on his body, ranging from the blades of sharp object markings to markings made my blunt objects to burn marks. His back had the worst of it all though, for on his back were the carved letters of 'FREAK' on his upper back. It had been his name for most of his life up until just before he turned eleven when he found out that his real name was Harry James Potter. Sure, he knew he was called Harry, but nothing more than that. So when letters for him kept coming at alarming frequencies in reply to Vernon's behavior, Harry for once in his life back then had a thread of hope thrive within him. Harry remembered the day Hagrid had showed up to get him on his birthday. He clung to that hope even as he was whisked away to a world unknown to him. He was just thrown into it, having expectations shoved onto him before he knew what was really going on.

Harry tucked his legs up against him as his thoughts wandered. He still didn't understand why he had to be the one to save everyone. He recounted the times that Voldemort had attacked him during each school year. Slowly standing, he walked over to a notebook he was allowed to keep with him amongst a few more 'normal' objects that his muggle uncle approved of. He pulled out a pencil and started to write as his thoughts spilled out on the paper.

First year:

I go from being plain Harry/Freak to being Harry James Potter. I learn of my role just before I leave for Hogwarts, and in the process, I also learn about Voldemort. A fully-grown cave troll entered the school grounds, and Ron, Hermione and I somehow survived the deadly ordeal. During the school year, I discover a few things about something called the Sorcerer's Stone. What doesn't add up is how Hermione seemed to find what we were pondering over being in the room with 'Fluffy,' a monstrous Cerberus that Hagrid had since a pup, was standing on. We knew practically nothing except what little I know when Hagrid took us to Gringotts. Later, Hermione, Ron and I ventured down to what could have been our dooms. The question I have is what happened to our fear? Why did we venture down to our uncertain deaths? Something doesn't make sense…. In the end, I faced Professor Quirell alone, and conveniently, teachers showed up after the confrontation was over.

Second Year:

I learn that I am a parslemouth… Of course, I already knew that I could talk to snakes after accidently sicking a python on my cousin Dudley once. Though, the reaction I got from everyone was obviously a negative one. I was out-casted because of my ability to talk to snakes. The only ones who stuck by me were Hermione and Ron… Don't know if I should count Dumbledore in that either. During that year, however, I found out about a place called the Chamber of Secrets. It had been built by Salazar Slytherin himself and housed a deadly Basilisk. Supposedly, no one in the school knew about it… Ginny was possessed by the book and went into the chamber before anyone could find it. So, how is it Hermione got an idea to use the Polyjuice Potion to find out what the Slytherin students knew? Better yet, what made her decide to use the bathroom that the very entrance to the chamber was in? What is even more curious is the fact that some people did know where it was, but couldn't open it. So, why send a twelve-year-old boy to his impending doom alone in the dungeons to take on evil once again when they knew where it was? All they had to do was ask him to open it, and then, they could have at the memory of Tom Marvolo Riddle. If there is one thing I do know is that, at that age, I was unequipped to deal with someone more skilled in spell casting then I…. Apart from having Tom revealing he was Voldemort, and that his name was an anagram for 'I am Lord Voldemort,' I keep running into this thought that something just isn't right.

Third Year:

I start out thinking that Sirius Black, my godfather, was none other than my parents' best friend who'd betrayed them. Which, later, I find out was entirely false. On top of that, once Sirius was on school grounds, no one went looking for him. Curious, since they all believed Sirius was out to get me. What's more is the fact of Peter Pettigrew still being alive and being revealed as the actual betrayer, after an unfortunate confrontation between Ron and Sirius in his Animagus form, which is the grim that Professor Trelawney predicted in divinations class. (On a note about that, I believe she is a quack and a fraud.) Remus Lupin was helping Sirius into the school, and at first, I was angry until they explained themselves, and we all found out that Ron's rat was actually Peter Pettigrew. The fat sniveling sap had the gall to beg for mercy, when he had practically force all of this on not only Harry and his Parents, but also poor Sirius who took the fall for it all. Even though Snape acts like a git, I get the distinct feeling that he isn't as evil as he lets on… hopefully, I'm not wrong in that assumption. After the confrontation, Remus lost himself to his werewolf side, having forgotten whatever potion Sirius had spoken about to the other male. Sirius was seriously wounded, and the werewolf came after me when I tried to protect Sirius. After Remus wass diverted, I went to find Sirius by the black lake. Only to be overrun by dementors (Merlin I hate those things… they creep me out) and saved by none other than myself… though, at the time, I thought it had been my deceased father. Dumbledore acted as though he was unconcerned about anything we'd found out. In the end, we saved Buckbeak and Sirius on our own without help (Yet again.) Starting to think even more so now more than ever that something is horribly wrong, and I'm missing just exactly what the heck it is.

This Year:

What lays in wait for me now?

Harry sat there for a while, tapping his pencil against his bottom lip, as he thought, though he didn't stay that way for long. It happened so suddenly that he was completely dazed by it. His whole body crumpled in on its self as he curled into a tight ball. Pain seared through his body as though every nerve had been set aflame, seeming to travel through every vein and nerve ending. His eyes slammed shut as he briefly realized that he'd knocked his journal off his table and onto the floor somewhere. His thoughts on the past few years now hidden from view as it bounced closed between his bed and the desk. His mind fogged over with the excruciating pain that coursed through him. He briefly wondered if the Cruciatus curse felt as bad as this pain did. His body felt hot, and uncomfortable heat scorched everything within him. It literally felt like he was burning from the inside out, as though flames lapped at his insides to try and burst out of his tight skin. Unable to take it anymore, Harry screamed out in pain as he curled up on the middle of his floor, wondering only momentarily how he'd gotten so far away from his bed as he curled up on the floor.

Harry could hear Vernon yelling and banging on the door, he knew that the man is less than pleased and will punish him after or during this pain. He didn't know which. Then his mind blacked out, and all was dark. There was no longer any pain, no fire, no uncomfortable tightness of his skin, no more stabbing pains to make him cry out in agony. It was just all blissfully still, and Harry welcomed it without a problem. 'What happened? Am I dead? It's so dark here…I wonder…will I wake up? Or will I be here for eternity? I think I like the thought of never waking…to escape it all. No one cares after all, even when I kept telling them about my life here at the Dursley's house. No one will miss me…'

{A Shadowed Life}

Vernon was angry, so much so that he was rushing as fast as he could to unlock the many locks he'd placed on the freak's bedroom door. The boy wanted to scream, well then he was going to give him something to scream about. Before he reached the last lock, he paused when the other side of the door became eerily silent. No sobs, no harsh breathing, nothing… all was still and quiet. Grounding his teeth, fresh anger welled up in him, believing the boy had done it all on purpose. However, upon flinging open the door, Vernon found something he hadn't expected. In the middle of the room was a very large almost crystallized looking egg. The misty looking red-orange crystal, mixed with intricate designs made of black onyx, shimmered in the middle of the room. Harry was nowhere to be seen. Petunia walked around the corner of the door to see her husband, standing there staring at the huge crystal like egg in the middle of Harry's bedroom, along with Dudley by her side.

"Mom, where's Harry?"

"I- I don't know dear… Vernon?" She asked her horse like neck tense as she looked from her son to Vernon then to the monstrous egg in the room.

"That brat better be around here somewhere, I'm sure the freak is the reason this damn thing is here," he growled before walking around the room that had little to no hiding places in it, in search of the dark haired boy. Yet he found nothing, "Where the bloody hell is he?"

He was about to leave the room when something in the middle of the crystal egg caught his eye. He paused and squinted at the egg for a long moment before his face went white, and he stuttered for a moment. Just before his face became enraged, and he slammed a fist into the egg's crystal surface. Which was an idiotic choice on his part, since as soon as his hand made contact, the sound of bones breaking could be heard, and Vernon yowled in pain before he started to yell. His face turned several different shades of colors as he cursed the boy within the protective crystal. He sent dark promises to the unconscious boy within as he planned a painful reunion once he came out of the protective layers of the crystal egg. The man grinned malevolently as he turned to Petunia, who was fussing over his injured hand. They left for the hospital to check on the broken hand that belonged to Vernon.

What they didn't take notice to was the mist color within thickening to hide the person within from prying eyes, and that by the end of the day Harry's world would take a turn for the worst.

{A Shadowed Life}

Harry could hear the far off sounds of someone talking… or maybe they were yelling. It was at this point Harry's mind wondered just who it could be. He didn't have to think long when a dull sound resounded around him as though something solid had been hit, which didn't make sense to him. Wasn't he lying in his room? Curling in on himself, he tried to ignore it, but he had a nagging feeling in the back of his mind. As though he was supposed to remember something, but what had he forgotten? His hazy mind tried to pick back up, but the blissfully numb feeling through his body felt so comforting and welcoming. Wait… why was he numb again? Better yet, why was he relieved that he felt numb? His mind sluggishly kicked back into play as he remembered his beating that afternoon, and his thoughts in his journal. Though, his mind tried to shy away from what had happened next. He faintly remembered the white hot pain he'd felt, a pain so crippling that he was sure the Cruciatus had nothing on its pain. So what happened? Why was he numb? He realized, with rising panic, he couldn't get himself to wake up.

Horror struck his whole system when he remembered that Uncle Vernon had been at his door yelling at him before he'd blacked out. Had the man beaten him once he was unconscious and unable to defend himself weakly from the blows sent his way? Dawning realization hit him when he remembered that there was someone's voice earlier and it sounded muffled and so far away to him. Not to mention the sound of something hitting something solid. But what could that mean? Harry was so confused and only wished to be able to see what was going on around him. 'Just go back to sleep… you don't want to face the real world just yet… just go to sleep.' The voice in the back of his mind soothed softly. Harry decided it was okay to obey the voice, and so didn't worry anymore about waking up. He wasn't ready to face Vernon or Dudley just yet. He wasn't ready to continue the ever raging war between Voldemort and Dumbledore. Here he was just safe, warm, and numb to everything he knew. Here time didn't matter, and here he knew he didn't have to face anything just yet.

Harry wasn't sure how much time had passed by; to him it felt as though years had gone by, when in reality only a couple days had gone by. Vernon had pretty much left the large egg alone… well for the most part. Some days, he'd come in and bang on it to get Harry to wake up, but nothing more than that since his hand was currently in a cast. It was around the third day that something in Harry told him, it was time to wake up. Heavy and sleep-filled eyes cracked open slowly, to peer into some kind of liquid that reminded Harry of Jell-O or possibly even lava if it didn't seem so thin looking. Small bubble like shapes floated within the substance surrounding him, and he wondered momentarily where exactly he was. Slowly, his mind rebooted, and slight panic invoked his body to flinch violently when he realized that he in a panic could drown. However, his more rational part of his mind noted, he was breathing just fine without air, and that puzzled him. At this point, Harry started to notice other things. His sight seemed to be a lot sharper than it used to be, and his hearing seemed to have increased as well. He was startled from his thoughts when a sharp sound resounded off a solid surface close to him. His vivid green eyes, tinted into an almost black color because of the liquid, bore into his Uncle not far from him, and Harry froze. Fear gripped him, and he was suddenly happy that he was inside this object as the man yelled obscenities at him, causing Dudley and Aunt Petunia to investigate what he was yelling about so early in the morning. Harry cringed away from the man, which wasn't a good idea because the man suddenly had a malicious look coat his features.

A shiver raced down his spine, unaware of the darker mass within the egg drawing closer to him in reaction to his emotions. He watched his uncle silently as the man slammed his hand against the protective shell encasing Harry until a loud sound echoed around him, and Vernon stopped what he was doing. A puzzled look came over his uncle's features before looking around the room for where the sound came from and yet couldn't pin point it. It was at that point that something caught Harry's eye, and he paled when the spider web like crack spread over the protective layer. His Uncle smirked vindictively as he took one step back to watch the crystal shell crumble. Three days' worth of anger was pent up in him, and Harry was going to get the brunt of it all here soon.

When the shell encasing him seemed fit to burst, the cracking stopped. All was silent, and Vernon frowned, ready to take a step forward to force the crystal apart. As soon as he took that one-step, the shell exploded in a rain of crystal shards and fire, pelting everything within range as a loud explosion caused them to fly away from Harry with deadly accuracy. Harry had closed his eyes and covered ears with his hands to muffle out the sound as a scream erupted out from Petunia alongside the explosion. All went silent soon after, well except the sound of someone crying. Harry slowly opened his eyes to see the damage that had been caused. His room was destroyed, and flames flickered across every surface in the room. What drew his attention was the charcoal appearance of what once used to be Vernon. Shards of orange stuck out of his body, still aflame from the explosion caused by the egg when it had finally burst apart. Harry stared on in complete shock from where he was on the floor. A choked sob of pain caught his attention from the charred remains of his uncle. His eyes floated over to his Aunt, who was pinned to the wall with the large crystal like shell casing. The crystal was lodged into her chest, blood dripping steadily down her body. The object had missed her heart, but her lung was destroyed, and she was slowly losing her life force. The crystal had been one of the few large pieces that were logged into walls around the room, as well as smaller ones that slowly melted and turned whatever it touched into flames. On the floor at his aunt's feet was Dudley, his face pierced through with the smaller shards, and slightly burnt like his father had been, having been too close when the explosion happened. However, his Uncle took most of the blast, having been in front of Dudley when the explosion happened. His fat body was coated in blood as thousands of tiny shards stuck out from his body, causing him to bleed out profusely. Sinew and muscles were slowly being exposed as some of the crystals melted, and the skin started to burn gradually.

Horror filled Harry's very being as something soon caught his attention from the gruesome scene before him. Upon his back was a pair of thick black wings tipped in pure white. 'What is happening? What happened to me? Oh Merlin….what have I done?' Harry panicked as thoughts raced through his mind. His whole being aching to take flight and keep running and never look back. He ended up doing just that after he watched the light drain from his Aunt's eyes, when the large crystal in her body drained her body of her blood. Before the fire started to spread to the rest of the house, Harry bolted down the stairs and to his things under the cupboard.

He looked at the things within and decided to take only what he needed. He pulled a satchel out that had an expansion charm on it before stuffing his invisibility cloak, wand, a couple of spell books he'd bought over the summer only to have Vernon get a hold of them, some of his robes, his broom, and a few days' worth of food into it, before tying it around his waist. Once finished, he didn't look back as he threw a cloak on over his body to hide his wings and, surprisingly enough, tail to hide them from view. Once finished, he flipped the hood of the cloak over his head to hide his face, so he wouldn't be recognized and left the house through the back door as though Voldemort himself was on his heels. Running and never stopping to look back once. He didn't realize that he should be cold, that he should feel the wet rain pelting his body, but none of it registered in his mind as he singly thought about getting as far away as he could. He didn't know where he was going, or what he would do now that he'd killed his 'family,' but he did know that he could never return to the life he knew. Sure, it had all been an accident, but it was still his fault. Unshed tears slowly started to spill from his eyes as he ran without pause, without another thought, without seeing and without a plan as to what he was going to do now that his life was forfeit.

Next chapter- On The run

I hope you all enjoyed the chapter. Please R&R I would appreciate it thank you.

Beta'd by Anjel-Kitty