This is intended as a Christmas present to all the reviewers that have supported me so far. (May be offensive to One Direction fans)

Merry Christmas and have a Happy New Year.

The Next Page:

"Mai, tea," the narcissist called out over a stack of paperwork.

Tick. Tock.

Two minutes passed. Any second his brunette assistant would be walking in with a cheerful smile and more importantly, a cup of tea.

Tick. Tock.

Another minute passed. There was no sign of Mai. Naru strained his ears and realised that he could not hear anything like the clink of china or the kettle boiling.

Out of concern for the welfare of his cup of tea, he stepped out of his sanctum to find his assistant sitting at her desk with her head resting on the surface and her hair illuminated orange by the sun shining in from the window behind.

Naru raised an eyebrow at the sight and decided he would leave her be for five minutes before he scared her by suddenly rousing her to make his tea. That was before he caught sight of a corner of a magazine poking out from under her hair.

He bent down and whispered into her ear. "I don't pay you to sleep, Mai."

As he predicted, her head shot up into the air as she jumped feet from the sudden awakening. Now that her head was off the desk he could see what the magazine was.

It was a Japanese teen magazine and it was open to a double page spread showing all the members of that terrible British band, One Direction that came from an equally terrible British television show. He picked it up and turned the page to find a full page photo of the pasty curly haired one.

Mai knew she was in trouble when Naru flashed her one of his best fake smiles.

"Mai," he began. "Please do not tell me that you have lowered yourself to drooling over people that you will never meet during work hours."

"Naru, I can explain-"

"If you would like to stare at handsome people you can just stare at me," he said before turning away. "I'm confiscating the magazine."

"I'm expanding my business, not drooling over them," she yelled after him.

This made him turn back. "What is your "business"?"

"I can't tell you what it is, but I'm not reading that magazine for pleasure, it's for research," she informed him tartly.

This elicited a smirk from the narcissist who leaned in so his face was closer to hers.

"Mai, I'm your employer. You have to inform me if you are earning money from other people during work hours."

She flushed at his closeness before drawing back to confess. If his face was too close, she might lose it and confess everything.

"I write imagines," she said.

"What is an "imagine"?"

"People pay me to write a story where they are paired with someone," she answered nervously.

"People pay for that?"

Naru was surprised. The general public obviously had less sense than he had thought.

Mai nodded. "The requester is usually paired with someone famous that they like. You can specify if you want something mature or not. I only write for a limited number of people and I noticed on the internet that One Direction imagines are popular so I thought I might expand my business, hence the magazine."

That explained everything, but he could sense that she was keeping something important from him and he could guess what it was.

"Who do you write them for?"

Now she looked nervous, he noted as she moved slightly away from him.

"Client confidentiality," she answered with a hesitant grin.

He glanced around the office as he considered which way would be the best to get the information out of her. If it was a business she would have to keep records somewhere.

"Mai, I came out to tell you that we have run out of teabags," he said. "Go and purchase some, I will give you the money." He produced a few notes from his pocket and handed them to her. "Don't take too long."

Mai narrowed her eyes before accepting the money and leaving the office.

"I might take an extra long time and leave you to suffer with caffeine cravings," was her parting line.

A glance out the office window revealed that she had really left and he snapped into action.

Her school bag which she had left behind revealed nothing of interest apart from the fact that she was failing Maths, judging by the crumpled test paper at the bottom of her bag.

He moved to her desk where he found an innocuous unmarked notebook in the top drawer. The narcissist opened it and knew he had found it.

There was a neatly drawn table with the headings: client name, pairing, rating, date, price, paid. His mouth stretched into a smirk when he saw who her first two clients were.

Ayako Matsuzaki was paired with Houshou Takigawa and vice versa. What was more astounding was that they had both paid ¥10,000 for it. They must have been unaware that the other had also requested from Mai, he mused. It was a very amusing situation.

He eyed the next name on the list which was Masako Hara who wanted to be paired with...him. He raised his eyebrows and moved on. Osamu Yasuhara with Houshou Takigawa, rating M. He smirked again before catching sight of Yasuhara's name again, with his name in the pairing column. His smirked faded and he wondered again for the nth time what went on in Yasuhara's mind.

A door opened behind him and he turned to see Lin with a ¥10,000 note in his hand. It couldn't be...

"Is Taniyama-san here?" the omnouji enquired.

Then the man saw Mai's client book in Oliver Davis' hands and he retreated back into his office, locking the door behind him.

Naru turned the page to find Lin's name, paired with Madoka. He rolled his eyes. It seemed that all of his employees, unknown to him, had been commissioning Mai to write imagines for them and judging by the dates it had been going on for half a year.

He debated between putting a stop to it or obtaining amusement out of it. There had not been any clients for the past few days so he went for the latter.

When Mai returned from the supermarket she saw through his open office door that Naru was at his desk again.

"Mai, tea," he ordered without looking up.

"Yes, yes," she replied and carried her purchases to the kitchenette where she found that contrary to what Naru had told her there was a surplus of tea at SPR. She narrowed her eyes. Even someone as dense as her knew what that meant; Naru had wanted her out the office.

As the water boiled she pulled her client book out of her desk and opened it. Her most recent commission had been from Ayako, now written in a different colour pen was a new one.

Kazuya Shibuya

She tried to guess the pairing before she looked. Oliver Davis, she predicted, based on her knowledge that he was a narcissist.

Mai Taniyama was the name that was written in the pairing column. She blinked before checking again to make sure.

She rushed back to the kitchen before the temperature of the boiled water could drop. Naru was very particular about his tea.

"Naru, what is this?" she demanded after depositing the tea cup unceremoniously on his desk and pulling out her notebook.

She received a bored look from her employer. "It is what it says it is; I'm interested in your work so I thought that I would commission you," he answered before looking down again at the paperwork to hide his smirk.

"What do you want the subject to be?" she asked.

"Anything you want it to be" he said before picking up the teacup and taking a sip.

"That's no help," she moaned as she stomped out of the office and knocked on Lin's door to ask the omnouji for help. After all, he had known the narcissist since he was a child.

Mai was surprised to find that the door was locked. "Lin-san, it's me."

The door opened and Lin stepped out.

"Sorry Taniyama-san, Naru caught me out earlier and he knows about your business now."

"I know, he had commissioned me to write a story about me and him. He said I can make it anything I want it to be. Do you have any ideas?"

"He asked you to do that?"

The omnouji frowned. It seemed that his charge was trying to get amusement out of watching Taniyama struggle to write the story. It was that or he had a vendetta that unknown even to Lin.

"Noll... does not really like anything apart from tea and the supernatural," he volunteered. "It's going to be hard to write. "Would you like any help?"

Mai shook her head. It wouldn't be fair if she had help. "It's fine. I have a few ideas now."

An hour later she changed her mind. Her notebook was blank save for a few scrawled words such as "haunted house" and "tea". Normally she had a rough idea and could build on it, but nothing was coming to mind at the moment. She couldn't even think of an opening line.

Another possible factor for her writer's block was that she was embarrassed to be writing a romance story involving herself and Naru.

The brunette was too frustrated about of her lack of ideas that she didn't notice her employer swan past her and look over her shoulder.

"Mai, are you having trouble?" he smirked.

"Just a little," she groaned. "Naru, why are you so complicated to write!? At this rate you will be very OOC."

"OOC?"

"Out of character," she explained. "What is the time limit on this?"

Naru considered the question. What would be the most fun thing to do in this situation?

"There is no time limit, you can improve it as you get to know me better."

"All I know is that you like tea, ghosts... and books with complicated titles," Mai replied and began doodling ghosts in her notebook.

The narcissist regarded her silently before saying: "Let's go on a date. It will help you research and write something in character."

As predicted, his assistant didn't spot that he had just asked her out, she just closed her notebook and smiled beatifically at him.

He could live with that. They could build on their relationship and one day she would realised that they were actually boyfriend and girlfriend.

As they walked down the street together he offered her his hand and she readily took it with only a faint blush on her cheeks, clearly assuming that it was part of the research.

It might take her a while to notice, he decided.

The End

Writing One Direction fanfictions involving self insert OCs paired with a band member is common on sites such as Wattpad. Fortunately fanfiction . net doesn't allow fanfictions to be written about real people.