A/N: BECAUSE ITS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I PLAN ON PLAYING THIS GAME FOR THE NEXT 6 DAYS :D
and if i haven't mentioned before, or if my profile avi doesn't say it already, I LOVE PARASITE EVE!
Dis: Parasite Eve, the book, movie and overall idea of it all belongs to Hideki Sena, the game was developed and therefore owned by Squaresoft, I OWN THEM ALL!
also, maybe spoilers-ho if you tilt your head and squint, but i don't think you'd get it unless you play the game... oh well!
ENJOY!
On the first day of Eve-mas, my mortal enemy gave to me~
Over a dozen charred bodies…
One dead clown…
Several mutant rats…
A parrot that won't shut up…
A pair of creepy toads…
A first transformation…
A total loser date…
ONE CONVOLUTED PLOT-POINT!
An annoying reporter…
One giant croc…
A big case of 'WTF?!'
And a new appreciation for my partner~
-x-
On the second day of Eve-mas, my mortal enemy gave to me~
One massive headache…
3 buddy cops…
A new mod permit…
One creepy doc…
Several bouts of déjà vu…
More convoluted plot…
One crappy Christmas…
FOUR GIANT EARTH WORMS!
An encore of horrors…
A sleigh-ride from hell…
A total evacuation order…
And somehow saved my partner's son, yay!
-x-x-
On the third day of Eve-mas, my mortal enemy gave to me~
A weird Japanese guy…
Several convoluted nightmares…
Two illegal shopping sprees…
A damsel in distress plot…
Several dead cops…
More rats from hell…
Several eerie cutaways…
OH MY GOD YOU KILLED TORRES!
A giant three headed dog…
New super-powers…
Nearly killed my boss…
And the bitch wasn't even here!
-x-x-x-
On the fourth day of Eve-mas, my mortal enemy gave to me~
Some weird Japanese trinket…
A new fear of hospitals…
One bad joke…
Two collapsed stairways…
More mutant monsters…
More déjà vu…
Several useless nurses (how are they alive?)
OH CRAP I SHOCKED MYSELF!
Is that the Chrysler building?
MY GOD CONVOLUED PLOT! Wait- mom?
Fuck a giant spider!
Two useless jets…
More snarky-win…
AND NO, YOU DO NOT JUMP OFF THE ROOF!
I'm really starting to hate spiders…
More convoluted plot…
A really bitchin' microscope…
One pissed off scientist…
And yes this went on longer than necessary… wait till tomorrow…
-x-x-x-x-
On the fifth day of Eve-mas, my mortal enemy gave to me~ (oh god this is going to be long)
One extremely long headache…
A pointless trip to a warehouse…
Front row seats to a rat/cat fight…
More creepy spiders…
A GIANT FUCKING CRAB!
Oooh a rocket launcher!
An arbitrary reason to go to china-town…
A new dislike for cats…
More illegal shopping…
Another useless trinket…
A GODDAMN SEWER LEVEL!
A new fear of bats…
Ooh a super-tool!
A really bitchin' CGI scene…
More nightmare-fuel…
OH GOD THERE'S TWO CROCODILES!
Running for my life!
Breaking into a subway…
Is that a giant centipede?
Another dead cop… yay…
And foreshadowing until I insert disc two…
GODDAMNIT!
-x-x-x-x-x-
Continuing the fifth day of Eve-mas after inserting disc two~
God fuck my life…
Wait I have to do the Chrysler Building? (But I'm not in EX mode?)
Goddamnit… 77 levels of mayhem…
Another giant spider (WHY?!)
Two massive crocs…
A scarier centipede…
Oh god, are those dinos?
What the hell is that?
Another fucking crab!
Is that a giant bee?!
AND I RIPPED OPEN A HOLE IN THE TIME CONTINUM! GREAT!
Back to the original plot…
On to the museum…
6 ridiculous questions…
One really cool diorama…
Evil roly-polies!
Several locked rooms…
AND YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME, THOSE ARE RAPTORS!
Holy fuck that's a giant scorpion…
Why is there a pterodactyl?
Who locked me in?
God I'm starting to hate hights…
Epic foreshadowing ho~
More nightmare fuel…
Another attempt on my life…
More convoluted plot…
Another useless gun… sigh…
A triceratops… wait-what?!
I JUST GOT LIBERATE!
Oh fuck my life, why isn't it dead?
I'm tired of falling from high places…
Oh my god that's a Tyrannosaurs-Rex…
IT BREATHES FIRE!
Finding another elevator key…
The point of no return…
Oh god… Eve is pregnant…
-x-x-x-x-x-x-
Continuing the fifth day of Eve-mas from the point of no return~
I don't want to ask what happened with your design…
One epic CGI scene…
5 gelatinous tentacles…
One gooey monster…
One exit stage left…
3 useless helicopters…
4 useless jets…
2 useless missiles…
And a new appreciation for the cellular design…
Oh god… it's not over…
More convoluted plot…
Several useless admirals…
An entire fleet of useless ships…
A helicopter of my own…
More reasons to fuel my survivor's guilt…
And probably one of the best CGI scenes in this game…
A philosophical debate…
An epic boss fight…
An epic transformation…
And I FINALLY get to shoot that bitch dead… yay!
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
On the sixth day of Eve-mas, my mortal enemy gave to me! (Oh goddamnit you're dead!)
The birth of the Ultimate Being…
A fleet of burning ships…
More nightmare fuel…
Several transformations…
Running low on revives…
Oh god I think I'm going to die…
Why aren't my bullets working…
OH MY GOD DANIEL'S ON FIRE!
Ultimate kill-bullets!
One of the scariest chase scenes ever…
A final bad one-liner…
And I never want to do this shit again!
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
And on January 2nd my team gave to me~
Tickets to the same opera…
Fuck you guys…
A/N: written with all the love in the world~
Till next -salute-waves- Sayounara, Mina!
-Ikasury