Your bedroom is as cold and lonely as the winter air outside, today, much like others, was uneventful. Sure you managed to wake up on time for classes but other than that, you feel the same. The same emptiness you felt last night, the same emptiness you feel every night.
Of course being the bipolar demon you are, you manage to make others flee away from you. It's sad you suppose but you are far too used to it to even bother trying to explain to others what's truly wrong with you.
They think you're just a freak of nature who snaps at everything and everyone, but, truth is, you're lonely and almost always sad. Why? You ask?
It's not that you didn't get enough attention when you were little, no, you got plenty of that. It's not that you lost the one person who would listen and actually talk to you and care, no. It's none of those things.
It's being alive in a world full of corruption and hate, seeing pointless whining over a lost phone, people lying to others for their own sake.
It's that one person who pretends to be interested in listening to you, but really, they couldn't care less. It's the person who just walked past that dying cat on the side of the street, it's seeing how fast others will judge you, seeing the new magazines with false information. To watch others look at one another as if they were a toy and not a human with their own thoughts and feelings.
But the biggest thing is, is how you just stand by and let it all happen. You hate you for not helping anyone or anything.
It's a short story really, the self hate inside of you has built up over the years and one day you just... Didn't care about anything or anyone anymore.
You gave up.
Today, much like yesterday, was the same, but tomorrow will be kinder and unlike the other cold days of emptiness it will be filled with warmth and acceptance.
Tomorrow will be a good day, you don't know that yet.
== Be the sleepy bee boy:
You are now the sleepy bee boy.
Your name is Sollux Captor and you are having a wonderful dream, you don't often get wonderful dreams, let's alone okay ones. You tend to get nightmares of your friends dying and other things that will bring your spirits down in the morning if you thought about them a little too much.
This dream, unlike the others, is full of trees and your lost friend Aradia. The two of you digging in the dirt under a big pine tree, just like the old days.
"Sollux hand me the brush, I think I found some-" Aradia gets cut off.
"found what?" you respond with a worried look.
She opens her mouth to only have an annoying beeping come out of her thin lips.
You jolt awake.
"ffffuck" you look over at your alarm. It's your late alarm, set for when you only had 15 minutes left until the bus came.
You jump up and run to the bathroom, picking up the pants you wore yesterday, you don't have time to bother looking for another pair. You shimmy your way into the blue fabric, kicking a shirt out of the way while you're at it.
You look in the mirror, eyes the same red brown and light blue they always where, dark circles underneath the oddly colored orbs in your head.
You press your hands to your eyes, alarm still going strong because if you turn it off now, you'll lose track of time and maybe even fall asleep standing. Again.
You grab your tinted glasses and shove them on carelessly.
You pick up your brush and start to madly untangle the beast on top of your head, with no avail, you stop. Your hair can be a wild mess today, like everyday, you honestly don't give a shit anymore.
Picking up the the shirt you have pushed aside with your foot while pulling your pants up, you slide it on.
You look in the mirror one more time, you nod and head back to your room.
Once there, you turn off the blaring noise. After that you rummage through your closet for your jacket, it's been getting colder, more so than last year. And you find yourself needing a jacket more and more as the days pass by.
You honestly hate the cold, but at the same time you love it.
Picking up what you hope is a clean jacket you slip into the thing. not really looking to see what one it is.
You grab your backpack off the computer chair and head for the door. Digging in the pants pocket for your headphones and Ipod. You leave shit in them way too often than you'd like to admit.
In blue jeans, a little oversized, though still staying put on your slim figure. A purple shirt with a Minecraft nether dragon in the middle. And of course, your old trusty winter jacket, Clicker. You tend to name your favorite things. Clicker is an old blue and red zip up then button up jacket. It's a little tight and you might need to replace it soon. underneath the whole get up is a regular pair of black sneakers on the left and white on the right.
You head down to the bus stop.
== Be inside the bus:
You are now inside the bus, music plugged in. Blaring a System Of A Down song into your head.
You close your eyes for only a second before you open them in realization that you forgot your phone at home.
You curse under your breath.
You sit ideally, listening to different types of music, soon, the bus stops at your stop. You hate public transportation.
You quickly leave the cramped bus and make your way down to the breakfast hall. Pushing your hands into the pocket, trying to stay warm.
After walking the short distance you make it inside.
Shivering, you head towards the coffee stand they offer, and get it black. Like everyday.
But on the way back to your table you decide today you feel a little sweet, you add some honey to it.
== Be the new student:
You're sitting alone in the far corner of the cafeteria. No one has bothered nor looked your way since you entered.
You kind of figured.
You finish up your Mocha caramel frappuccino and let out a sigh. You should have gotten something warm.
Standing up you notice familiar messy blond hair.
You notice a familiar blue jacket with red sleeves.
You stroll over, after discarding your garbage.
Getting a little closer you can see the familiar hands, holding onto a familiar old iPod touch.
"Sollux?" you call out. Somehow you remembered his name after all these years.
You don't get a response.
You figure he can't hear you, so without thinking you plop down next to him.
He looks up at you, eyes going wide and he kind of chokes on his coffee.
Youwave, knowing that he still can't hear you.
"Ampora?! What the hell are you doing here?" he pulls his puds out.
You snicker. "I transferred schools." why else would you be here.
"Why?" he glares. "are you stalking me? You are aren't you. I knew it. You're a creeper. A whack a mole junkie. A complete creep that stalks defenseless men at night to show them your stick to whack the mole. I'm sorry but i'm no mole Ampora"
You laugh this time. "no Captor I'm not stalkin' ya. I had to move 'cause my parents are big throbbin' dicks."
Now he laughs. And it's kind of cute. How his nose crinkles up and his eyes squint a tad behind his tinted glasses, the way his adam's apple bobs..
"thanks for the mental image." his voice is playful. "no really Eridan, why'd you move here?"
You sigh, slumping your head on the table. "my parents found out." you mumble into the cold wood of the table.
"you what?" he asks. "I can't hear you."
"my fuckin' parents found out about..ya know." you gesture to nothing.
It seems to take him a while before it hits him.
"oh. About how you like dick?" he smirks.
"Ha. Ha. Real funny Captor." you punch his arm in a playful manner. "But yeah thats kinda why."
You look down at your watch.
"I have to go but uh text me? I guess."
He frowns at this.
"I can't text you."
"an why's that?" you swallow hard, feeling kind of rejected.
"I forgot my phone at home, unable to communicate what's so ever today." he drums his fingers on the table.
Oh. Oh "well, you have a computer right? Just message me on pesterchum."
He looks shocked. "I forgot about that. Yeah yeah I'll talk to you later, as in, class hours." he winks. "I'll make sure you don't get any work done."
"whatever, I have ta go now." you stand up, heading towards the door to classes, flipping him off as you leave.
"hey! Fuck you!" he yells. You can hear the smile in his voice.
You laugh. Today might be a good day after all.
== Be the stunned idiot.
Holy shit, that really was Eridan wasn't it? Well of course it was, he did have his blond strip down his middle of hair. He did have those hipster glasses on as perusal.
Still, you can't help but be a little stunned. it's been what? Three years no four years at tops since you seen him. He filled out in those years, freckles barely there but still noticable, his once pretty eyes now have dark circles underneath them, almost as dark as yours. Almost. His face is still kind of round but he still looks fine. Almost dorky. How his smile makes his eyes glow, he still has violet eyes of course, but now, they are even more breath taking as ever.
He grew also, now taller than you, you noticed when he was walking away, but then again you wouldn't know fully as you were kind of ogling his ass.
Not your fault he has tight jeans that cover him nicely.
You shake your head to clear the thoughts; standing, you throw your half full cup into the garbage.
Grabbing your bag, you head down to class, probably a little too excited about messaging
Eridan.
Today might just be a good day.
== Be the happy hipster:
You slump down into your seat, in the far corner of course, you hate it when people can see your screen and what you're doing.
You giggle-snort as you open your laptop, seeing a new message waiting for you from Sollux. You hope no one seen or heard the noise that came from your mouth.
looking around you don't see anyone, just a kid in a wheel chair playing on a 3ds and what looks like a clown sitting next to him.
Whatever.
twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]
TA: 2up ED
TA: You iin cla22 yet?
CA: yeah i am noww
CA: howw are ya anywway sol? havvent talked to you in forevver
TA: II've been pretty much the 2ame, wakiing up and goiing two 2chool.
TA: Liife2 boriing and 2tupiid.
TA: How about you? Liife mu2t bee treatiing you good con2iideriing iif iit doe2n't you throw a fuckiing biitch fiit.
TA: eheheh
CA: ill havve you knoww sol that life has been treatin' me kindly the past years
CA: wwell besides fef leavvin' to another country for fish research
CA: i honestly dont knoww wwhy she likes the things so much
CA: wwell i mean they are kind of cute most of the time but thats kind of a bullshit excuse
CA: you feel me?
TA: No, II don't feel you.
TA: Well not yet anyway2.
TA: eheh
TA: 2orry that was kiind of lame.
TA: A2 we 2peak ii'm hiittiing my head over how 2tupiid that 2ounded.
TA: Ju2t.
TA: Fuck.
CA: wwoah sol sloww dowwn
CA: at least take me to dinner first
TA: …
TA: 2o how2 KK? you talked to hiim lately?
CA: Ok conversation change I guess
CA: not really he kind of doesn't like me right noww
TA: Well ii can under2tand why, but what'd you do?
CA: wwell you knoww howw I said I movved here because of my parents findin' out?
CA: wwell theres kind of more to it than that
You sigh in frustration at what's going to happen. Well you did come here for this conversation right? Not just your parents but everything thats been going in your head, also everyone at your other school hates your fucking guts.
TA: Oh god diid you kiill 2omeone?
TA: You diid diidnt you?
TA: Diid you fiinally grow the ball2 two tell me that you're madly iin love wiith thii2 hot piiece of a22?
TA: Oh fuck
TA: 2hiit fuckiing
TA: fuck
TA: II DIID NOT MEAN TO HIIT 2END
TA: FUCK
TA: Ju2t pretend ii never 2aiid that
TA: okay?
CA: …
TA: II wa2 ju2t goiing two type that all out for 2hiit2 and giiggle2 and THEN delete iit
TA: You know
TA: For laugh2
TA: ...
TA: II 2hould go
CA: No wwait
CA: I um
CA: I kind of wwanted to tell you that..
CA: I have your old jacket at my place
Fan-fucking-tastic Eridan, way to go.
CA: So uh do you wwant to come get it after classes are ovver?
CA: its kind of takin' up room
CA: ..Sol?
TA: Yeah fuck 2orry
TA: II was2 takiing note2
TA: Yeah iill come over to get my jacket
TA: where do you even live anyways?
CA: I wwas kind of thinking of drivvin' you
CA: Itll just be easier for the both of us that wway
TA: Uh iim bu2y after cla22e2
TA: Maybe duriing lunch break?
CA: Sounds great
CA: wwhens your lunch?
TA: IIt2 at 12:25
TA: So I have liike
TA: two more cla22es2 before that
CA: Ill havve to check my class schedule
CA: I get out at 12:35
CA: I hope you dont mind wwaitin' for a little bit
TA: II don't miind
TA: II have two go
TA: The profe22or ju2t called me to come down and show them my magiic
CA: alright see you soon
CA: Like the parking lot
CA: or somfin
TA: Alriight
TA: 2ee you
twinArmageddons [TA] Ceased trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]
You turn your attention back to the lesson, covering your mouth with one hand as you bite on the skin of your finger. (A bad habit you do when you're nervous.) A blush tinting your cheeks as you go over the scenarios of what could happen after you finish up your classes.
One fancies you out of the rest:
It's raining as you exit the doors to see sollux waiting for you with flowers, he smiles as he hands them to you. "Hey, ED, I missed you." he would whisper as you hug each other tightly.
"I missed you to Sol." you would respond. You would pick him off the ground, flowers in hand, and head to the car, once in you would give him a passionate kiss.
You snap out of it as you hear someones phone go off and some ICP songs starts to fill the small room.
== Why the fuck did you say that?:
Why the fuck did you say that? Of course the professor never called upon you, you just wanted that conversation to end as soon as possible. He at least could have made the rejection a little bit less obvious, he only wanted you to come get your old jacket.
wait.
Since when did he have your jacket?
== Be Eridan once again.
You emerge from class, feeling a little disappointed in the lesson, you thought today was going to be a little bit more exciting than just a test review.
Leaving the class, you head down the hall and make your way down to your car, tired and ready for a shower and a nap.
But when you open the doors you are kind of surprised to see sol, soaking wet from the rain and if he doesn't get the biggest, most goofiest smile you have ever seen on his dumb face then you don't know what.
"Hey ED, what took you so long?" His smile still going strong.
"Sorry, the teacher took longer than expected." You laugh, scratching your head.
"That makes sense" His grin growing wider. "I got you something." Sollux blushes, lisp more noticeable than before. He must be nervous.
You perk up from the news. "Oh really?" You say smiling.
His hands fiddle behind his back as he nods his head, he pulls out flowers, red and blue, some yellow and purple combined in the bunch; there damp from the still pouring rain. " I thought you would like them."
You can't help but laugh.
"D-do you not like them?" Sollux looks panicked, almost pained.
You shake your head, pulling him into a tight embrace. "I love them" You whisper in his ear.
"c'mon lets get out of this rain, yeah?" You pick him up bridal style, he makes a squeak as you head towards your purple SUV across the lot.
He clings to you like your his life line. "Please don't drop me." He says in a rush.
You chuckle. "Im not goin' to drop ya." You start sprinting to get out of the rain.
As soon as you see the vehicle you tell sollux to dig in your pockets for the keys.
"Look for the keys in my pocket will ya?" You kiss his cheek.
He looks flustered, but he reaches down and starts looking in your front pockets for the keys to the vehicle.
"I think I found them?" He pulls out a key set, pushing the button for the car to unlock.
He opens the passenger door as well, laughing as you place him in the seat. You speed walk to the other side, climbing in. Once in you both look at each other, laughing at each other and how cliche that all was.
"You know I missed you a bunch." Sollux speaks, voice soothing the cold out of you.
You reach over, placing a hand on sol's cheek, you scoot over as much as the seat will allow, gliding your face and his closer together. "I missed you too." You whisper.
Lips inches apart and you're so ready for this.
"Are you done sleeping Mr. Ampora?" A stern voice awakens you from your sleep.
You raise your head from your position, opening your eyes to see a familiar face looming over you. Mrs. Serket. That wrenched monster always has had it out for you ever since you moved here, and that wasnt that long ago. Only last week.
You grunt, nodding your head while looking around. Everyone is looking at you.
"The fuck you starin' at?" You growl, wiping slavia off your chin. You don't remember falling asleep. Let alone remember the last time you drooled.
The class gets your message and turns back around to where the teacher is. She somehow managed to disappear in a few seconds. You swear shes like a fucing spider sometimes.
You spend the rest of your last class trying not to pass out, your heart starts to beat a little faster at the thought of seeing sol in a few minutes.
Time ticks by slowly. Very. Very slowly.
"Where the fuck were you?" You hiss at Eridan.
"What do you mean? Im on time aint I?"
You shake your head, you need to calm down its only ten minutes past the time he said he'll meet you.
"Yeah yeah whatever, lets just go alright?" You shudder. "Im fucking cold."
He starts walking towards a purple SUV, his hands still in his pocket, scarf dangling off his neck, moving in the wind like a cape.
The car ride to his apartment is awkward and altogether unpleasant.
What if he remembers what you said? Fuck, what if he doesn't even think of you in that light? Did he just brush it off as a joke? You kind of hope so, but at the same time, not.
"Hey, you doin' alright over there?" He asks, breaking the silence.
"Yeah, Im fine. Just tired" You mumble out.
"Okay, you sure?"
"Jesus ED, I'm fine." You reach down, fiddling with the radio. "How the fuck do you work this thing." You state, not really asking.
He swats your hand away, turning the radio on. " Do you not know how to work a radio sol?"
He laughs.
"Fuck off, I know damn well how to work one, yours just so happens to look like an aliens vigina."
"You look like and alien vagina"
"Oh hell no, do you know how fucking gross they look?"
"Of course I dont, im not as fucking' creepy like you. DO you know what they look like?"
"Only because AA wanted show me this one time."
"I knew that girl was messed up. How is she by the way, I didn't see her in the breakfast hall."
No fucking way, he doesn't know about her death thing. "Shes dead, stupid." You state.
You look over at him and see his face is pale. " Shit sol, I'm sorry to hear that."
"Its fine, so why did you move here, besides the whole parent thing, you said there was more."
He visibly swallows. "Well, long story short, Kar and I kind of had a small fling."
You choke on nothing but his words. The thought of Ampora and your second longest friend, Karkat, had a fling with Eridan. Of all people, how fucking desperate could he could have been? "No shit? What did you do to make him sucumb to your bitch ass?"
"Nofin, we just sorta, did it a few times."
"Did it."
"You know..the hanky panky. The boat rockin. uh sex?" He clears his throat.
"Could we not talk about this right now?"
"Whatever."
You find yourself getting jealous of Karkat, which is redicluas. You are not getting jealouse of Karkar for getting some. especially if that someone is Eridan. Okay maybe a little.
Wait. Fuck thats not what you mean.
The car ride is left in silence.