"-so there I was, in front of my unit, my commander, hell, my whole division. Just . . . swingin' in the breeze." Jacob paused to let the riotous laughter that resounded in the small shuttle die off before continuing, "I bet if someone took thermals, my face would've blinded them."

"All because this . . . dog, was it?" Garrus mused over his constant oiling of that Viper he never liked to be parted from.

"Yeah. The admiral's rottweiler. Nutter, he called him. Why the hell he brought his pet to the parade, I still have no earthly clue. And why the damn thing decided the seat of my pants was a chew toy . . .." The dark-skinned human ran a hand over his shorn locks and turned a sheepish grin on the rest of them. "They called me 'Commando' for the rest of that deployment."

"That's not so bad." Grunt frowned in puzzlement.

"Yeah, short for 'Going Commando.' Suffice it to say, I'll never go sans underwear ever again."

That brokered another round of guffaws amongst the companions. Even Thane chuckled, deep in his throat, a smile stretching his lips.

Shepard, ever-present Mattock across his knees, scratched his bristly chin and turned to Thane. "Alright, your turn, Krios."

"I will have to decline," said he, with a gracious incline of his head. Already, he could feel their urging draw on a recollection he'd rather never bring to light.

"Afraid to look less like the slick killer you are?" Garrus harrumphed. "Aw, c'mon, Thane. We spilled our guts. You gotta have some good ones."

"Yeah. Can't bow out now that you've heard our stories," Jacob seconded, crossing his arms.

Shepard laughed at their expressions, but agreed with a nod and a coaxing wave of one gloved hand. "We have another half day yet before we're back on the Normandy. Indulge our curiosity. Be a sport. What's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you on the job?"

Thane winced as he felt the memory tickle awake in the cellars of his mind. He could no more stop it than hold back the tide. The words started to spill out of his mouth.

"I toss the dossier back on the desk. Heiros' pale blue face, round as the moons of Kahje, turns up to me in surprise. I say, startling myself with the amount of real anger in my voice, 'This is my target?' "She responds, 'Yes.' I spit back, 'You are aware that I charge double for wasting my time?' I stare at her, searching for deception. I see nothing but the earnest naivete that was once refreshing in someone in her line of work, but now seems all too inconvenient. Fortunate for her that she is so good at brokering deals for me. She interrupts my train of thought, 'I swear to you that this is not a waste of your time.' I snort in derision, 'How can I take this at all seriously?"

The others watch him with varying degrees of surprise stamped on their alien faces, stunned at the rush of words. Doubtless, shocked at hearing him say so many all at once. Thane shrugged and dove deeper into the memory, letting it take him over completely. "Heiros' expression tells me it is very serious indeed. Sarcasm drips like acid from my tone as I say, 'The 'target' is-"

"-a cat!" I resisted tapping my foot only by the barest margin as I stared down at my broker's disorganized desk. Folders lay strewn across its surface. I imagined the jobs they contained. Better jobs. More worthy of my time. Yet, coded in greens and blues, they signaled low payouts. Only the one I'd just thrown back on her desk lay wrapped in highest-paying orange.

Heiros bit her lip as she tried to catch my eye. Such tiresome baldness of expression. I started to wonder if I cut her, would she bleed sincerity? The asari cleared her throat. "Sere Krios, Councilor Tevos has agreed to compensate you handsomely once the contract is complete. The entire Republic would be most glad to see this sensitive situation resolved with tact. Quietly."

"A contract, you say? A farce, more like!" I lean over the desk, locking gazes with her, showing her my outrage. "When I asked you to take over my affairs and arrange jobs for me now that I've severed ties with the Illuminated Primacy-When I asked you to find jobs that lacked the savage hatred the hanar brought to bear on their enemies, gentler jobs, colder jobs, more professional jobs, I never suspected you'd put me in line with something like this. Have I not been robbed of enough dignity?"

She started, hands clenched to paleness on her desk. Yet she seemed intent on this suicidal path as she looked up at me in entreaty. "Sere-"

I interrupted, "Call animal control. This is beneath me." I started to spin on my heel to storm out of her office when her voice pulled me back.

"They've tried. They've even hired other . . .ahem, exterminators, but none so far have succeeded."

That intrigued me. I crinkled my brow. "Who?"

She consulted her datapad. "Memnos, Czerkis, and the Hunter."

All competent assassins, all reputed to have toppled planetary governments with a flick of a knife, or a single bullet. I shook my head. "Why not trap the beast? Or lay in wait with a long-range weapon at this creature's haunts?"

"Traps don't work. Poisons proved completely ineffective. It won't eat tainted foods for some reason. Maybe it can smell whether it's been tampered with. And I'm sorry, but the client expressly forbids the use of firearms in this case. They want it handled in complete silence. No witnesses. Total blackout."

Special conditions are nothing new in my profession. Oftentimes, I have to go well out of my way to satisfy an objective to a client's specification. But this . . .. "Seems a awful lot of trouble to go through for one troublesome feline."

"Apparently, it was a gift from the Alliance's diplomatic envoy. The Republic does not want this to devolve into a political disaster, or insult the humans by returning their gift. For all we know, that might be as good as declaring war on them. Bear in mind that we have only just started to know them as a species. It's only been two years since the Relay 314 Incident was resolved."

"Then, why kill it?"

"The councilor didn't realize how aggressive a species it was when she brought it here. Already, it has killed all the Yuosu birds around Tevos' house. In fact, we know very little about it. What if it can reproduce asexually? Thessia could be overrun with the things in a matter of months." Heiros shook her head and ran a hand over her tentacles. "It has proven canny beyond what most animals are deemed capable of. Underestimated, like the humans themselves."

I picked up the dossier once more and looked at the holo on the inside flap. Yellow eyes in a dark-masked furry face peered back at him from where only the beast's likeness had been captured by sheer chance. It crouched on the top of a garden wall, little more than a white-ish blur. I found it hard to believe that such a thing could have been much of a challenge. "I want to talk to the other . . . exterminators."

"Of course. You'll find them at Central Hospital where they're all recovering."

I felt my brows lift at that and turned a wondering eye back to my contact. How had this . . . cat injured-? Ah, but I would soon find out first-hand from the testimony of those that came before me.

"I accept the contract." Bowing over the binding words, I then turned and strode away. But I couldn't help but feel a twinge of uneasiness. Perhaps, did I make a mistake?