And so to the end. We are finally there. Dear readers and reviewers, I would not have made it here without your words of encouragement. It's been a pretty angsty ride, much more so than I originally intended. Thank you for sticking with me.
Mackenzie was sobbing and shaking, gasping for breath, curled in on herself as though she was in physical pain. She was broken, and he was the one who had done it. He had absolutely no idea how to fix her, so he just held her tighter to his body, rocking her gently, whispering soft words into her hair. "Shush, shush sweetheart, it's okay, I've got you," he repeated over and over, interspersed with "I'm so sorry Mac, God, I'm so, so sorry."
She was shivering so hard that it was starting to scare him, so he reached behind him for the throw rug that was draped over the back of the sofa and wrapped it carefully around her. That seemed to get through to her on some level, because she turned in his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck, weeping into his shoulder.
He had no idea how long he sat there, holding her tightly, soothing her while she cried. It felt like forever. Each sob she gave tore at his heart, but he figured that if he was going to do penance for all the times he had hurt her, he may as well start now. Besides, she needed him.
Finally, her sobs tailed off and the shaking settled down until she was lying quietly against him, completely spent. He continued to hold her, because she wasn't running away, and because he'd forgotten just how perfectly she fit within the circle of his arms.
"Hey," he said eventually, smoothing her hair away from her face and trying to get her to look up at him. "Hey." He had to do it a few more times before she lifted her head. Her eyes were puffy and red rimmed from all the crying, and her nose was pretty shiny too, but incredibly her mouth was turning up at one corner in the tiniest hint of a smile. Will thought he had never seen anything more beautiful in his life.
"Hey yourself," she said shyly.
He wanted to kiss the tear tracks on her cheeks, and so to mask the impulse he quickly asked "Can I get you anything? A cold flannel, maybe?"
"Yeah, that would be good."
He eased her gently off his lap and settled her carefully on the sofa, drawing the rug up and around her shoulders. He felt the absence as soon as she was gone, and he almost pulled her straight back into his arms, but he forced himself to head for her bathroom instead.
He returned a couple of minutes later with a wet flannel, a glass of cold water and a couple of Advil. She swallowed the pills with a sip of the water and then handed the glass back to Will. She reached out for the flannel, but Will didn't hand it over. Rather, he sat down next to her on the couch, pulled her towards him so that she was nestled into his side, and used his free hand to gently wipe the remaining tears from her cheeks.
"Thanks Will," she said softly, taking the flannel from him and scrubbing her eyes with it. "I'm sorry about that. I'm guessing that's really not the reaction that a guy is hoping for when he declares his love to a woman."
"Don't be ridiculous, Mac. It's only to be expected after everything you've been through this week." And the last four years, he added mentally. "Have you even cried since, you know"
"Since Kyle attacked me?"
"Yeah," said Will, grateful that he didn't have to try and say the words. "Since then?"
"No," said Mac, shaking her head. "At first I was just in shock, I think, and then there was the show to get through, and then I fell asleep in the car."
"How about the next day, though?"
Mac shrugged. "I didn't want to cry in front of Sloan, or at work, and then you started acting all crazy and I felt like if I let myself start crying I would never stop."
Will flinched. "I'm so sorry Mac. Can you ever forgive me?"
"It's okay Will, now that I know what was going in your head. It's understandable, given your background."
"You can forgive me, just like that?" asked Will, incredulous.
"Of course I can, you stupid man. I love you!"
"You love me?" repeated Will, stunned.
"Where have you been for the last eighteen months, Will? This is hardly breaking news," retorted Mac, exasperated.
"But Mac, you're so amazing, and I've been such a jerk to you, how can you possibly still love me?"
"I have no idea McAvoy. Maybe I'm just a slow learner," said Mac, the corners of her eyes crinkling up with that teasing smile that Will loved so much.
"Seriously Mac, you can joke about this?"
"Will, we were always destined for either great comedy or high tragedy, and I for one would rather laugh than cry."
Will felt hope starting to blossom and expand in his chest, but he was too scared to give in to it just yet.
"But Mac, I haven't even told you what I told Habib yet."
"Which was what?"
"That I don't care about Brian anymore, and that I trust you completely, and that I never want to hurt you again. I just want to spend every day for the rest of my life showing you how much I love you."
"Oh Will," Mac breathed, "that's all I've ever wanted. And I can't promise never to hurt you again, any more than you can promise never to hurt me, but I can promise that I will always be faithful to you."
It was too much for Will. He felt the tears starting in his own eyes as he pulled Mac round to face him. He rained kisses all over her eyelids, and her face, and her lips, and the whole time he was murmuring "Oh God, Mac, I love you, and it feels so good to finally say it to you, I just love you so much."
Mac swung her leg over his so that she was straddling him, and she put both her arms around his neck and kissed him back with everything that she had. Will could hardly believe that this was real, except that he could feel Mac's body moving under his hands, and her lips on his, and she was so vital and soft and her. For the last eighteen months, he'd had to content himself with the odd hand on the small of her back, or maybe a quick hug if he was really lucky, and now he wanted to touch her everywhere at once. He ran his hands through her hair, and over her shoulders, and down her back to her perfect ass, and then back up to cradle her face so that he could kiss her more deeply.
Mac gave a small cry when he moved his hand to cup her breast, and he pulled back instantly, breaking off their kiss as memories of Monday night came rushing back to him. "Oh Mac, I'm so sorry," he said, covered with shame. "I came here tonight to apologise and make sure you were okay, not to throw myself on you like some ravening beast."
"It's okay Billy, this is what I want too," she said, trying to draw him back into another kiss.
"But what about Kyle? Isn't it too soon? The last thing I want to do is hurt you more, Mac."
Mac sighed and released his neck. "Look Will, I can't say that I'm totally over what happened with Kyle, because, I'm not, not really. I know that, and I'll have to deal with it, in fact I've already started talking to a counsellor at the clinic that Sloan took me to. But here's the thing. If I wasn't going to let that prick get between me and my favourite shoes, then I am absolutely not going to allow him to come between the two of us. I've been waiting for this moment for too long."
"Are you sure?" asked Will, slightly in awe of her courage.
"I'm sure," said Mac emphatically. "Now will you please make a start on that project of showing me how much you love me?"
She didn't need to ask him again. Will helped Mac to her feet and then stood and lifted her in his arms. She wasn't asleep this time, she was wide awake, and smiling up at him in that way that did things to his insides. She wrapped her hands around his neck again and he held on to her as though he would never let her go. He couldn't even tell if his knee was hurting or not, he was too damn happy.
He laid her down on her bed and then stood back for a moment, drinking in the sight of her. From her incredible eyes, to her porcelain skin, to her ridiculously gorgeous cleavage and legs that went on forever, she really was the hottest woman he had ever seen. He felt himself growing harder and harder.
"Oh Mac," he groaned as she looked up at him questioningly, "You have no idea, do you?"
"About what?" she asked, pouting a little. She really did like to know everything. It was one of her most endearing qualities.
"About how incredibly beautiful you are. You are so lovely that it almost hurts to look at you, and I didn't even know that was a thing before I met you. I get a little thrill every time that you walk into the room. It's like having a permanent high school crush. And as for your voice, oh my God, I don't know if it's the British accent or what, but it's the sexiest thing I have ever heard, and when you're talking in my ear it feels like it's just me and you and there's no one else in the world."
Mac blushed and squirmed on the bed. "Stop it Will, you're embarrassing me."
"I'm only just getting started," he told her. "I have four years' worth of compliments to give you."
Mac pouted a little more. "I'd much rather you showed me, instead of standing there spouting off nonsense."
Will relented and lay down on the bed beside her. He started to drop a trail of tender kisses down her throat, but he had to break off to tell her "It's not nonsense."
"Will, you're forgetting that I saw all those cheerleader actress models that you were dating last year."
He shrugged. "They were plastic. You," he said, kissing his way down her chest and undoing the top button of her blouse with slightly trembling fingers, "are perfection."
He continued his trail of kisses down to the valley between her breasts, but he could tell from the tenseness in her body that she was still distracted by the thought of those other women. He was going to have to come clean with her.
"Look Mac, I didn't even sleep with any of them, okay?"
"You didn't?" she asked, raising herself up on her elbows to look at him.
"I tried to a couple of times, but I couldn't go through with it. It didn't seem fair to them if I was just going to close my eyes and pretend that it was you beneath me. So mostly I just took them out to dinner, thanked them for a lovely evening and sent them home in a taxi."
"Oh Will," she said, her voice breaking a little.
"So, now that you know just how pathetically devoted I am to you, do you think I could get on with showing you?"
"Yes, of course Will," she replied, the cheeky smile returning to her face.
He started unbuttoning her blouse again, his lips kissing every inch of skin that his fingers laid bare. Her breath was coming in quick pants by the time he reached the last button and tugged the ends of the blouse out of the waistband of her skirt. He bit off an oath at the sight of the jagged scar running down her left side, starting just under her ribs. He gently traced the raised line with his lips, overwhelmed by the evidence of just how close he had come to losing her. He struggled to control his emotions, but was betrayed by the hot tear that fell from his eye and onto the scar.
"William Duncan McAvoy, you had better not be crying over me."
"I'm not," he sniffed.
"That's good. Besides, you told me once that you never cry."
"Damn straight I don't," he muttered. "I just had something in my eye."
"A bit of dust, was it?" she asked innocently.
"No, it was a bit of Mackenzie McHale, if you must know."
That silenced her long enough for him to raise her waist slightly and unzip the back of her skirt. He looked at her with raised eyebrows, checking that this wasn't too much for her. She nodded her encouragement and so he carefully slid the skirt from her body. He resumed his trail of kisses, starting at her navel and heading south. By the time he reached her lace panties she was moaning softly, and when he removed them and kissed her right between her legs, she cried out his name.
He had fantasised about this moment for so long, but the reality was even better. Her incredible legs were wrapped around his head, and she was so wet that he could barely contain his own response. He was determined to pleasure her first, though.
He brought her to three shattering climaxes in quick succession, and then looked up, expecting to see her lying boneless and satiated on the bed. Instead, she was raising her head up off the pillow and holding her arms out to him. "Oh God Billy, that was incredible, but I can't wait any more. I need you inside me now."
He moved up to cover her with his body, being careful not to crush her. She wrapped her arms and legs around him in welcome. He entered her in one long stroke and she cried out, her head falling back onto the pillow. He held himself still for a moment, relishing the feeling of coming home. Then he started to move, worshipping her with every inch of his body, loving her the way that she deserved to be loved.
Afterwards, he held a sleeping Mackenzie to his chest and marvelled at his incredible good fortune. He could hardly believe that she was here in his arms, after all that he had said and done to push her away. He pulled her more tightly against him, just to prove to himself that she was real. She sighed contentedly and murmured "Love you, Billy," before pressing a sleepy kiss to his neck. "I love you too, Mac," he whispered, and in the end, it really was as simple as that.
Aaaaaahhhh, I hope you enjoyed the ending. I thought we all deserved a nice bit of fluff after 11 chapters of hurt, and angst, and feelings. It's fun to let these two be happy for a change. Now I just need Aaron Sorkin to sign on for Season Three, and Mac to have Will's babies. Hey, a girl can dream . . .