Title: Movie
Author : Serenity Goddess ([email protected])
---
ONE: LORELAI AND THE ROCK DONKEY
"Coffee, please." Lorelai Gilmore hopped on the one of the bar stools at the counter, her purse in one hand and a folded newspaper in the other.
"Okay," Luke said, turning around to get the pot of hot, steaming coffee behind him.
"But I said pleas … what?"
"I said okay." He turned back to face her again , putting an empty mug in front of her and the proceeding to fill it with coffee. He was wearing a simple red and white plaid shirt, with his dark blue cap typically put on backwards.
"I don't understand." Lorelai looked at her coffee and then back at Luke.
"Your coffee's there, drink up."
"You're giving me coffee."
"Yes."
"I just ask and you give it to me."
"Uh-huh."
"Without saying no first?"
"Yup."
"Without telling me the evils of caffeine and what it could do to my body?"
"Yeah." He motioned to the mug in front of her. "It's getting cold."
"Hmmm," Lorelai frowned. "It's a trap, isn't it? Is this something like those vegetarian meals, where they make it look like chicken , and you go 'Oh, what a delightful looking plate of chicken', but when you eat it it tastes nothing like chicken, because, well, it's tofu, and then you wonder why Mother Nature would make anything that tasted that bland. "
"Yes. You've caught me. This is tofu cleverly disguised as coffee." Luke deadpanned. "And for the record, you're probably the only person on this planet who would say 'Oh, what a delightful looking plate of chicken'."
"Well, fine." Lorelai took a big gulp of her coffee. "Ooh, non-tofu coffee."
"It's what I make best." Luke walked over to another customer who had just arrived at the diner and took his order.
Lorelai drank deep and unfolded the newspaper she had brought along. She flipped it open mindlessly, reading whatever article that caught her interested. After a few moments, Luke appeared in front of her again.
"Hmm, never figured you to be a newspaper-reading type of person," he commented casually as he cleaned the counter with the cloth he had slung over his shoulder.
Lorelai looked up. "Why not?"
"Never thought you were interested in what anybody has to say, except for yourself."
"Ugh, that is like , the second meanest thing anybody has ever said to me." Lorelai responded indignantly.
"Uh-huh." Luke filled a glass with tea and passed it to one of the other customers seated at the counter.
There was a silence for a couple of seconds before Lorelai decided to speak again. "Luke?"
"Yeah?"
"Aren't you going to ask me what was the meanest thing anybody has ever said to me?"
"No."
"But you're supposed to."
"Nope, but thanks anyway."
"Why not?"
Luke put the cloth down on the table. "Because if I do, you're probably going to tell me something that probably, in reality, wasn't the meanest thing anybody has ever said to you, but some witty insult you yourself came up with after you spent several days thinking over it and are dying to use. Not gonna humor you, thank you."
"Ugh. Brought this newspaper here for nothing then." Lorelai tossed it on the counter. "Gee, Luke, you're a real rock donkey."
"I know I'm gonna regret asking this but – rock donkey?"
"Hard ass," she translated. "Back when Rory was a kid, I didn't want to swear in front of her, so I would use these cute little phrases like "rock donkey" and "dog spawn". I think "rock donkey"'s gonna make a huge comeback, like Michael Jackson with Invincible."
"Not a very good example to use."
"Hush, rock donkey."
"Speaking of Rory, where is she anyways?"
"Oh, she had to leave for Chilton early today," Lorelai explained, "Paris is freaking about this week's issue of the Franklin and thinks the best way to solve it would be to have an early morning newspaper meeting. Her logic is strange, but very amusing."
"Well, too bad she's not here. If she were, you would be yammering to her instead of me." Luke walked out from behind the counter and went to serve a couple who had just sat down at the table beside the window.
"If you think you're the only person here that I can talk to, you're wrong mister. I'll just occupy my time chatting with my good friend here, Strange Man," Lorelai said loudly enough for Luke to hear. She turned to the stranger sitting beside her and smiled at him. "Hello, strange man, how are you today?"
The stranger looked at her as if she had gone mad, and promptly moved two seats down.
"You know the only reason people call you strange is because you're so rude!" She told the stranger.
Upon hearing this, Luke rushed back to Lorelai. "Will you stop calling my customers strange?"
"I was just trying to start up a conversation. Excuse me. By the way, before I forget," Lorelai reached into her purse and took out two tickets. "It just so happens I have an extra ticket for a movie tonight."
"Uh-huh."
"Yeah, you see, Rory was originally supposed to go with me, but Paris opened her Closet of Personalities and decided to wear Crazy today, so Rory's not going to be free tonight, too. Which leaves me, her own flesh and blood, stranded."
"Why don't you go on your own?"
"I can't watch a movie alone," she replied, "I feel that if I do, people in the theater judge me and then mock me after the movie."
"I think they'll be too busy watching the movie to care."
"Clearly you are unfamiliar with the study of human behavior."
"So said the woman who once tried to get her twelve year old daughter to go to her room by leaving a trail of strawberry pop tarts. Why don't you call Sookie?"
"I did, but she's having plans with Jackson tonight."
"So, do you want to go or not?" Lorelai waved the tickets in front of him.
"I don't know – I'm not really a movie kind of guy."
"Oh, come on. It'll be fun. It has Jackie Chan, and he speaks English throughout the entire movie. How could that *not* be fun?"
"Well, if it's Jackie Chan, then count me in," said Luke sarcastically.
"Argh! Do you want to go or not?"
"No."
"Do you want to go?"
"No."
"Do you want to go?"
"No."
"What's that? Did you just say you wanted to go?"
"No."
"Do you want to go?"
"No."
"What if I buy you popcorn?"
"Why don't you just deep-fry my heart in butter, then?"
"Do you want to go?"
"No."
"It has Jackie Chan."
"No."
"Do you want to go?"
"Can you please stop it?" Luke put his hands on the counter.
"Fine." Lorelai turned away from Luke and called out to the stranger she had talked to earlier. "Hey, Strange Man, do you want …"
Luke interrupted her before she could finish her sentence. "If I go, will you stop disturbing the customers?"
"Gee, I don't know. I think Strange Man and I really hit it off just now. Maybe I'll take him."
"Lorelai, I said I'll go with you."
"Nah."
"I'll go."
"Nah, thanks anyway. I think Strange Man is really into Jackie Chan."
"I'm going."
"No."
"I am."
"No."
"I'm going."
"No."
"You know, Lorelai, I do have better things to do today than this," he sighed.
"Okay. See you at nine?"
"Nine. Now will you just drink your coffee?"
Lorelai nodded and took another gulp from her mug. "It's cold."
"Well, maybe it wouldn't be if you had drank it instead of opening your mouth every two seconds."
"Hot coffee, please?" Lorelai pushed her mug forward.
"You know, eventually, it'll kill you," Luke took her mug away and filled it with a fresh, hot coffee from the pot.
"Yeah, yeah."
--- to be continued ---
Author : Serenity Goddess ([email protected])
---
ONE: LORELAI AND THE ROCK DONKEY
"Coffee, please." Lorelai Gilmore hopped on the one of the bar stools at the counter, her purse in one hand and a folded newspaper in the other.
"Okay," Luke said, turning around to get the pot of hot, steaming coffee behind him.
"But I said pleas … what?"
"I said okay." He turned back to face her again , putting an empty mug in front of her and the proceeding to fill it with coffee. He was wearing a simple red and white plaid shirt, with his dark blue cap typically put on backwards.
"I don't understand." Lorelai looked at her coffee and then back at Luke.
"Your coffee's there, drink up."
"You're giving me coffee."
"Yes."
"I just ask and you give it to me."
"Uh-huh."
"Without saying no first?"
"Yup."
"Without telling me the evils of caffeine and what it could do to my body?"
"Yeah." He motioned to the mug in front of her. "It's getting cold."
"Hmmm," Lorelai frowned. "It's a trap, isn't it? Is this something like those vegetarian meals, where they make it look like chicken , and you go 'Oh, what a delightful looking plate of chicken', but when you eat it it tastes nothing like chicken, because, well, it's tofu, and then you wonder why Mother Nature would make anything that tasted that bland. "
"Yes. You've caught me. This is tofu cleverly disguised as coffee." Luke deadpanned. "And for the record, you're probably the only person on this planet who would say 'Oh, what a delightful looking plate of chicken'."
"Well, fine." Lorelai took a big gulp of her coffee. "Ooh, non-tofu coffee."
"It's what I make best." Luke walked over to another customer who had just arrived at the diner and took his order.
Lorelai drank deep and unfolded the newspaper she had brought along. She flipped it open mindlessly, reading whatever article that caught her interested. After a few moments, Luke appeared in front of her again.
"Hmm, never figured you to be a newspaper-reading type of person," he commented casually as he cleaned the counter with the cloth he had slung over his shoulder.
Lorelai looked up. "Why not?"
"Never thought you were interested in what anybody has to say, except for yourself."
"Ugh, that is like , the second meanest thing anybody has ever said to me." Lorelai responded indignantly.
"Uh-huh." Luke filled a glass with tea and passed it to one of the other customers seated at the counter.
There was a silence for a couple of seconds before Lorelai decided to speak again. "Luke?"
"Yeah?"
"Aren't you going to ask me what was the meanest thing anybody has ever said to me?"
"No."
"But you're supposed to."
"Nope, but thanks anyway."
"Why not?"
Luke put the cloth down on the table. "Because if I do, you're probably going to tell me something that probably, in reality, wasn't the meanest thing anybody has ever said to you, but some witty insult you yourself came up with after you spent several days thinking over it and are dying to use. Not gonna humor you, thank you."
"Ugh. Brought this newspaper here for nothing then." Lorelai tossed it on the counter. "Gee, Luke, you're a real rock donkey."
"I know I'm gonna regret asking this but – rock donkey?"
"Hard ass," she translated. "Back when Rory was a kid, I didn't want to swear in front of her, so I would use these cute little phrases like "rock donkey" and "dog spawn". I think "rock donkey"'s gonna make a huge comeback, like Michael Jackson with Invincible."
"Not a very good example to use."
"Hush, rock donkey."
"Speaking of Rory, where is she anyways?"
"Oh, she had to leave for Chilton early today," Lorelai explained, "Paris is freaking about this week's issue of the Franklin and thinks the best way to solve it would be to have an early morning newspaper meeting. Her logic is strange, but very amusing."
"Well, too bad she's not here. If she were, you would be yammering to her instead of me." Luke walked out from behind the counter and went to serve a couple who had just sat down at the table beside the window.
"If you think you're the only person here that I can talk to, you're wrong mister. I'll just occupy my time chatting with my good friend here, Strange Man," Lorelai said loudly enough for Luke to hear. She turned to the stranger sitting beside her and smiled at him. "Hello, strange man, how are you today?"
The stranger looked at her as if she had gone mad, and promptly moved two seats down.
"You know the only reason people call you strange is because you're so rude!" She told the stranger.
Upon hearing this, Luke rushed back to Lorelai. "Will you stop calling my customers strange?"
"I was just trying to start up a conversation. Excuse me. By the way, before I forget," Lorelai reached into her purse and took out two tickets. "It just so happens I have an extra ticket for a movie tonight."
"Uh-huh."
"Yeah, you see, Rory was originally supposed to go with me, but Paris opened her Closet of Personalities and decided to wear Crazy today, so Rory's not going to be free tonight, too. Which leaves me, her own flesh and blood, stranded."
"Why don't you go on your own?"
"I can't watch a movie alone," she replied, "I feel that if I do, people in the theater judge me and then mock me after the movie."
"I think they'll be too busy watching the movie to care."
"Clearly you are unfamiliar with the study of human behavior."
"So said the woman who once tried to get her twelve year old daughter to go to her room by leaving a trail of strawberry pop tarts. Why don't you call Sookie?"
"I did, but she's having plans with Jackson tonight."
"So, do you want to go or not?" Lorelai waved the tickets in front of him.
"I don't know – I'm not really a movie kind of guy."
"Oh, come on. It'll be fun. It has Jackie Chan, and he speaks English throughout the entire movie. How could that *not* be fun?"
"Well, if it's Jackie Chan, then count me in," said Luke sarcastically.
"Argh! Do you want to go or not?"
"No."
"Do you want to go?"
"No."
"Do you want to go?"
"No."
"What's that? Did you just say you wanted to go?"
"No."
"Do you want to go?"
"No."
"What if I buy you popcorn?"
"Why don't you just deep-fry my heart in butter, then?"
"Do you want to go?"
"No."
"It has Jackie Chan."
"No."
"Do you want to go?"
"Can you please stop it?" Luke put his hands on the counter.
"Fine." Lorelai turned away from Luke and called out to the stranger she had talked to earlier. "Hey, Strange Man, do you want …"
Luke interrupted her before she could finish her sentence. "If I go, will you stop disturbing the customers?"
"Gee, I don't know. I think Strange Man and I really hit it off just now. Maybe I'll take him."
"Lorelai, I said I'll go with you."
"Nah."
"I'll go."
"Nah, thanks anyway. I think Strange Man is really into Jackie Chan."
"I'm going."
"No."
"I am."
"No."
"I'm going."
"No."
"You know, Lorelai, I do have better things to do today than this," he sighed.
"Okay. See you at nine?"
"Nine. Now will you just drink your coffee?"
Lorelai nodded and took another gulp from her mug. "It's cold."
"Well, maybe it wouldn't be if you had drank it instead of opening your mouth every two seconds."
"Hot coffee, please?" Lorelai pushed her mug forward.
"You know, eventually, it'll kill you," Luke took her mug away and filled it with a fresh, hot coffee from the pot.
"Yeah, yeah."
--- to be continued ---