Disclaimer - I do not own Homeland. That pleasure belongs to Showtime. No copyright infringement or money making scheme intended. This is purely for reading enjoyment.

Kreen, Indigo & LilMisfit - thank you as always for the reviews and kind words.

A/N Alas, this is my last chapter for I have to say. I have had a great time writing this fic. I hope you have all enjoyed it. Thank you for reading/reviewing/ faving and following. I'm not done with Brody though. Another idea has taken root. Will get to that once TLG is finished or at least when I'm comfortable enough with where I'm taking TLG that I can focus elsewhere as well...F & S seems to write itself.

Brody is not happy. Isolation beginning to take its toll. Resentment beginning to fester.

Carrie,

You don't know where I am do you? Of course you don't.

"This isn't goodbye."

Except that it was, wasn't it? Lets be honest we're not going to see each other again are we? The nightmares are back as if I can't see all of it clearly in my mind during the day anyway. Maybe I'm already dead and this is just hell. I want to get angry but I can't even manage that anymore. I'm just sad and alone.

So I went about it in the wrong way. I can't help but feel I let those kids and their families down. They still don't have justice. It's strange the things you think about when you have time. Something suddenly occurred to me and it felt like one big blow to the gut. You're helping them keep that horrible secret. Standing in the way of justice like those kids don't matter. But then, who am I to talk when I took my own kids for granted?...

I don't like it. I'd ask what you are doing but I probably don't want to know. Bound to duty as you are, taking insane risks to do what you feel is right. To hell with the consequences.

Service will always come first won't it? Why I should be so surprised, I don't really know. You'll regret it you know, one day. I thought you'd have learned that lesson from me. I thought...well it doesn't matter now does it? What I thought. I just know that it seemed like things were starting to make sense and then it all went to shit again. I'm a mess. I haven't been whole in 10 years. All strength of character beaten out of me. Values and belief gone, I'm a walking disease. You made sense and you gave hope. Now nothing makes sense and there is no hope. You could be with me but you're not and that hurts. Actions speak louder than words, isn't that what they say?

You love me? that's what you said. Just not enough though...just not enough. Because I'll never be quite enough, will I?