Hello & welcome to another new one.

This is my Christmas 2013 fic so hope you enjoy!

Summery; Sam's life turns upside down when he runs over a homeless girl. Facing hard decisions, she makes Sam see everything differently, or is it just him finally getting some Christmas Spirit?

A/N; this is AU & features a younger Sam & Andy. It's an original fic & won't follow the lines of the show.

Chapter 1- Letters To Santa.

Dear Santa...

The idea made him scoff, but yet there was no way that he could steal the dream away from the eight year old. He himself as a child had been forced to write letters starting with that exact same sentence. Only his letters weren't the kind asking for toys or things for himself really.

'I've been good this year, and I just want to ask for one thing'the words continued in her skew, untidy scribble.'All I want for Christmas is Uncle Sammy to keep me'.

Okay, so maybe the apple didn't fall so far from the family tree. He remembered asking for things similar to what she was asking for now. A home for him and Sarah. Sarah to be okay and get well. Sarah to find a nice home to live in with a nice family even if it meant that she went away and he stayed behind.

Sam blew out a low growl reading the words that ripped his insides out and shredded his heart.

He'd even been the same age when he had penned his own such letters.

His sister Sarah had been killed in a car crash a few months ago, so now at the age of twenty-eight, he was the legal guardian of a bubbly, clever little girl, and it just wasn't working.

His pajama drills with his niece and her nightmares, often left him late for work, or he was stuck without a sitter when he had a shift, and he had to drag her to the barn with him. And when she got sick with a common cold a few weeks ago he nearly lost it in a blinding panic. He just wasn't cut out for this... Guardianship.

But that day, he couldn't even comprehend loosing her too, his brain just wouldn't accept that thought even. It had been one of his more terrifying experiences ever.

Being the only family that Sarah had left, he was now the caregiver to Bailey, his eight year old niece who somehow miraculously survived the accident that killed her mother, and three other people. She was the only survivor to walked away from a three car pileup on the highway on a sunny afternoon. She walked away without a scratch on her. Well no physical ones, but mentally she was scarred for life.

But, it wasn't about always being late, or always being tired, it was more about not being what Bailey needed, or should have, or deserved. He didn't know how to do this. And he didn't have more to give.

Bailey was just like Sarah, she was always smiling, and always laughing. She would stop in the street and watch the tufts of snow as they billowed down to the ground, or she would smile at an old couple that were walking down the street hand in hand. And she was forever helpful, always trying to help out around the house, or at the barn when Sam was forced to drag her with him for a shift. He just didn't think that this kind of life was good for her. She needed a routine and she needed stable, and normal- He was neither.

She deserved a normal life, with people that could look after her, and love her, and be there when she needed them. Unlike him, the uncle that didn't even know what she liked, and what she was allergic to, and what time her bedtime was. But he was the uncle that loved her, and right now that was all he had to give.

Dropping Bailey's letter to Santa down on the table Sam stared into the fireplace finding a little more reason to hate himself now. She wasn't too thrilled with him these days, or really even talking to him, but he didn't blame her. He had sat her down and told her that he was going to consider the option of adoption. First she had smiled and her little face had lit up, until he broke the news and told her that he was going to put her up for adoption weeks after she had come to stay with him. He didn't mean for it to be so harshly said, but no matter what happened he wanted her to know that he was doing it for her because he loved her and she deserved so much more. She had grown up so fast in recent months, an unusual maturity circling her, so he decided to follow his gut and be honest with her, because more than anything else she deserved that much. Even if she was still just a little kid.

Her crocodile tears had broken his heart, and her softly whispered 'I'll be good, I promise' had damn near killed him, but she was better off with a family that knew how to do this, knew how to take care of something so small and precious. He didn't like the idea that she thought he wanted to give her up because she was naughty or bad.

...

The weather had changed, the hot summer days had faded into tufts of flurries, and then the snow had arrived signaling that Christmas was getting closer.

As the weeks drifted by, the christmas lights started coming out, cheery decorations lining front windows of stores and lawns across town.

Thinking over it now, she couldn't even remember the last time that she'd had a merry christmas, or received a christmas present. She had nobody to give one to, so it had been forever since she had showered someone with something that they would like. These days she was lucky if she could scrape enough change together for a hot cup of coffee from the diner that had the cheapest coffee in town. It wasn't the greatest, but when you were freezing and running on empty it was drinkable.

Well, more accurately, it had been six years since she'd had a memorable christmas with all the trimmings, six years since she smelled the pine scent of a real christmas tree, or draped lights on one. Six years since she had a warm bed to get out of on christmas morning, six years since she had christmas turkey or christmas pudding; she could still remember the tastes and smells just like it was yesterday.

Sighing, Andy looked away from the store window that had been set up to look like the real thing on christmas morning as her hand tugged her backpack carrying all her worldly possessions higher up over her shoulder and she walked away.

Feeling her eyes misting up at the memory, Andy swiped at her face blindly just as she pinched her eyes closed for a second in a bid to blink them back.

Even though she still loved christmas, it was a time that made her remember how lonely it could be at that time of the year too.

Rounding the corner, Andy slammed into someone because she wasn't paying much attention to where her feet were carrying her.

"Sorry" she mumbled and shifted her bag up higher while keeping her head down. She didn't want to see the pity and revulsion on the face of the person she knocked into, so she didn't look at them.

The reaction was always the same, the disgust in their eyes was enough to make her stomach churn. They all looked at her the same way, the way they looked at every homeless person they'd ever see.

She had always wondered how they would react if they knew how she ended up on the streets, how they'd look at her if they knew it was because her dad drank himself to death and her mother slammed the door closed in her face when social services dropped her off on Claire McNally-Stevenson's doorstep. Her mother didn't want her new family to be disrupted by a secret that they never knew.

So when the social worker left and Claire held her door open before saying "Go", and Andy ran.

And ran, and ran. And never stopped.

She dropped out of school and would take on any odd jobs that she could find, but those were scarce even though they'd brought her through the six years she had survived growing up alone on the streets.

She would occasionally seek out a homeless shelter, but there were more desperate people than her that needed that bed for the night, so she often only grabbed a meal before sneaking out the back door and leaving a bed available for a mother and child, or someone a lot older that needed it more.

Stepping around the obstruction, Andy took a deep breath and carried on walking.

Sam watched the girl walk away after she cast her head down and mumbled an apology. She wouldn't even look up and acknowledge his presence when he reached out to steady her and ask if she was okay. He'd been so wrapped up in his own world that he failed to pay attention to where he was going.

Watching her stagger through the snow, Sam wondered why she chose to stay on the street rather than seek help because judging by her oversized, male coat, and her dirty jeans and worn boots, she was definitely homeless.

Rubbing his hands together to warm them in the cold Sam's mind drifted to a place where he and Sarah had nearly become one of those statistics. If it hadn't been for Sarah's determination, that's exactly what he would have become- a statistic.

Nothing more, nothing less; just a number that would never really mean anything- to anyone.

"You okay Brother?" Oliver asked stepping up to Sam and holding out a coffee. They were on shift, another day spent trying to keep muggers off the streets and making sure that old ladies could manage to carry their heap of early christmas parcels to their car without dropping anything.

That was the spirit of Christmas, even though it was only the first week of November.

Although, that wasn't all that their shifts were about, there were the occasional accidents, murders and general crime that made them actually have to work to keep the streets clean.

"Yeah, fine" Sam said taking his coffee and wiping the inside of his mind clean. He didn't need to wallow in the past when they had a job to do.

***okay so welcome to the bottom, thanks for reading!

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Have an awesome day!

Jelly Bean Jenna©