The wonderfully green lawn of Hogwarts was thick and springy under the
booted feet of Meir Brin, HFA coordinator, and Ally White, leader of the
Order of the Sphinx. Summer had just begun, and without the students HFA
had become the perfect place for the none-too-serious Canon Character.
"It's perfect!" babbled LVJ happily, shaking the shrunken head. The rattle's beads (dried brains) clacked pleasantly against the shell.
"Aww... Innee cute?" asked Lord Voldemort Sr. "Good work, Bellatrix. You can be LVJ's new babysitter!"
Bellatrix sniffed, trying to look as if she had just been given the greatest gift in the world. Next to her Wormtail scuffed his foot in the dirt. "Oh, I wanted to be LVJ's babysitter..." sulked Pettigrew.
Ally White tried to fight the momentary urge to run. It was one thing to be appointed to a staff position, but it was another matter entirely to stop thinking like she was being hunted. The former Canonlaw smiled as she fingered the black and gold trim of her new uniform. Madam Maulkin had outdone herself in creating the uniforms for the Order of the Sphinx, in Ally's opinion. There were twenty in the new group running around HFA, fortifying the weaker points with luster-repellent and anti-fangirl charms.
"Keep your eyes closed, Sirius, and don't peek!" said Lily firmly, as Sirius shifted anxiously, hands over his eyes. "Is it ready?" asked Mrs. Potter.
"All fixed up," rumbled Hagrid happily. "Open yer eyes, Sirius."
"My motorbike!" exclaimed the ex-convict. "Where did- Oh, you shouldn't have..." Sirius trailed off as he went to run his hands over the streamlined vehicle. "I'll be able to fly again, that's wonderful..."
"What's that over there?" asked Harry suddenly. "Gray-blue blur..."
"BEAKY NO!!" roared Hagrid.
In a flash of fur and feathers Buckbeak flew over to the new motorcycle, and started flapping at it aggressively. Sirius was looking rather stunned, while Hagrid tried to restrain the crazed hippogriff. "What's he- " began James, but Buckbeak was already clawing at the leather vehicle.
"I think he's jealous..." said Lily, amused.
"Perhaps we should put some Unbreakable Charms on the bike before his claws set in," suggested Harry.
"Yeah..." said James, still stunned by Buckbeak's ferocity towards the inanimate object.
Meir Brin passed by the lake, where a steady stream of bubbles was rising from the murky depths. A thread that Drakko the Mini-Aragog had wound around his leg trailed off down the bank and into the water, bobbing gently. Suddenly there was a pull at the cord, and Drakko heaved back, while Drayco and Milfoy helped him pull. A great hairy lump rose out of the water, surrounded by a translucent bubble.
"Gots its," sputtered Drcao, shaking his fur dry. The Bubble-head Charm disappeared and the large spider tossed a Galleon at the Mini-Aragogs. "Never knewingses that scuba-divingses could be this much funses," whispered the Mini-Aragog. "Who's nextses?"
The name-mistakes jostled each other, each trying to go first. For their own safety Fleur Delacour had insisted that only one of the Mini-Aragogs go diving at a time, as she had grown very fond of the small spiders during her stay at HFA. Sitting next to her on the grass Bill Weasley chuckled and patted Weazly as Mafoy the Mini-Aragog won the fight and descended into the water.
It was hard to believe that only a little while ago HFA had been crawling with Mary Sues, Evil Avatars, and Slash demons. Meir Brin doubted that she would ever see anything like *that* again, mentioning the Ironic Over-power in her train of thought just to be safe. One never knew when that Ironic Over-power would strike again.
"My visions have been unclear as of late," said Trelawney mystically. "I feel the foreboding of great doom, great doom for all."
"Oh, give it a rest, Sybill," said McGonagall. "Perhaps we would give your 'prophecies' more credence if you actually took more time thinking up good ones. You've been using the 'impending doom' prediction for the past ten years."
"Do not speak ill of the Inner Eye! For it is great and strange and powerful..." said Trelawney, trailing off into a whisper.
"Yes, and I'm a duck," said Professor Sprout jokingly.
Trelawney chuckled amusedly, and with a wave of her wand turned Sprout into a fluffy mallard. McGonagall looked at her, raising an eyebrow as she scooped Professor Duck Sprout up off of the ground.
"A nice bit of Transfiguration, Sybill," she commented. Sprout quacked in protest.
Yes, the Canon Characters seemed to be getting on better without the fanwriters getting in the way, thought Meir Brin. Then a glint of black and silver caught her eye, and she saw a few members of the Order of the Sphinx run by, carrying duct tape and masking tape. Ally White followed after them, her uniform trimmed in gold. A few minutes later they returned, carrying a Vambiolato bound up in tape and Mini-Aragog thread.
Well, fanwriters did have their uses, acquiesced Meir Brin. She had to admit that HFA would have been doomed without them, but even that was rather painful to swallow. OFUM, Meir Brin's previous place of employment, had very different views about fanwriters. But then again most of that continuum's fanwriters tended to be fangirls, and that was a different matter entirely. Many continuums dealt with that. In fact, nearly *all* fandoms were plagued with shallow writing.
And yet at HFA... The Fanfiction world overflowed with Mary Sues and lusting fangirls, but there was a heart here that Meir Brin had never really felt before. But she had seen it. She had seen it at the Battle of the Canon. And it only went to prove her wrong: fanwriters may have their weaknesses, but they love their fandom. It was noble, in a hormone-induced sort of way.
There was a great whizzing noise and several firecrackers went off, exploding in a big shower of multi-colored sparks over the Hogwarts Lake. On the far bank Fred and George Weasley could be seen, lighting the fireworks with great gusto.
"Well, there's another Miss Natalie something-or-other that won't be bothering us," said Ally White, dusting off her hands.
"Oh?" asked Meir Brin.
"We tossed Miss Pretty out of HFA. She had the most unusual hair, though. Rainbow colors. Makes very pretty fireworks," said Ally, grinning.
Meir Brin looked back at the fuchsia and cerulean burst of light falling toward the lake and shook her head. "Sometimes I think we've corrupted you all," she said wryly.
Ally smiled, and watched a red firework do loop-the-loops in the afternoon sky. She was more content than she had ever been. It seemed that in her mind she had been given the best of two worlds: she could see her family and friends and live a normal life, and she could be immersed in the magic of HFA at the same time.
"So..." began Ally, looking at Meir Brin. "We've had stampedes, spider weddings, evil punctuation, and Canon crashes; what's going to happen next year?"
Meir Brin appeared mildly amused. "There'll be... something... to tend to, fanwriters to educate," she cast a quick glance at Lee Jordan and Neville Longbottom, who were covertly setting fire to Professor Umbridge, "Canon Characters to keep an eye on, and probably a bunch of new catastrophes. Nothing too out of the ordinary."
As Ally lay back into the thick, comforting grass, she smiled. Nothing too out of the ordinary... for the Hogwarts Fanfiction Academy.
The End.
*********
Author's Notes: Thus concludes the story; I hope that you have all enjoyed it. I will now thank every single person who reviewed, sent me Mini- Aragogs, or suggested ideas for this story. You are most appreciated.
Special thanks, however, goes to all of the fanwriters who became students at HFA, I hope I haven't offended you all too much, to the PPC, who are a light amid the shadow of bad fanfiction, and of course to Miss Cam of OFUM, without whom this story would not be.
Mini-Aragogs will be available for adoption soon, very soon, once I get my website up and running. If you wish to adopt a Mini-Aragog, leave your email address in a review and I will inform you when the Great List of Mini- Aragogs had been posted.
Those who leave their email addresses will also receive notification whenever another thing comes to pass. I am speaking, of course, of a sequel to this fanfiction.
Yes, I do intend to write a sequel, after a long break in which I organize my thoughts and hammer out the plotbunny into a coherent story. You'll have to be patient, though, because this probably won't come to pass until September or October (2003).
Have a good summer, and I hope you've enjoyed reading this fanfiction as much as I've enjoyed writing it. Remember, if you would like to be on the newly created HFA mailing list, tell me and I'll put you down for updates on Mini-Aragog adoption and the new HFA when it begins.
Meir Brin
"It's perfect!" babbled LVJ happily, shaking the shrunken head. The rattle's beads (dried brains) clacked pleasantly against the shell.
"Aww... Innee cute?" asked Lord Voldemort Sr. "Good work, Bellatrix. You can be LVJ's new babysitter!"
Bellatrix sniffed, trying to look as if she had just been given the greatest gift in the world. Next to her Wormtail scuffed his foot in the dirt. "Oh, I wanted to be LVJ's babysitter..." sulked Pettigrew.
Ally White tried to fight the momentary urge to run. It was one thing to be appointed to a staff position, but it was another matter entirely to stop thinking like she was being hunted. The former Canonlaw smiled as she fingered the black and gold trim of her new uniform. Madam Maulkin had outdone herself in creating the uniforms for the Order of the Sphinx, in Ally's opinion. There were twenty in the new group running around HFA, fortifying the weaker points with luster-repellent and anti-fangirl charms.
"Keep your eyes closed, Sirius, and don't peek!" said Lily firmly, as Sirius shifted anxiously, hands over his eyes. "Is it ready?" asked Mrs. Potter.
"All fixed up," rumbled Hagrid happily. "Open yer eyes, Sirius."
"My motorbike!" exclaimed the ex-convict. "Where did- Oh, you shouldn't have..." Sirius trailed off as he went to run his hands over the streamlined vehicle. "I'll be able to fly again, that's wonderful..."
"What's that over there?" asked Harry suddenly. "Gray-blue blur..."
"BEAKY NO!!" roared Hagrid.
In a flash of fur and feathers Buckbeak flew over to the new motorcycle, and started flapping at it aggressively. Sirius was looking rather stunned, while Hagrid tried to restrain the crazed hippogriff. "What's he- " began James, but Buckbeak was already clawing at the leather vehicle.
"I think he's jealous..." said Lily, amused.
"Perhaps we should put some Unbreakable Charms on the bike before his claws set in," suggested Harry.
"Yeah..." said James, still stunned by Buckbeak's ferocity towards the inanimate object.
Meir Brin passed by the lake, where a steady stream of bubbles was rising from the murky depths. A thread that Drakko the Mini-Aragog had wound around his leg trailed off down the bank and into the water, bobbing gently. Suddenly there was a pull at the cord, and Drakko heaved back, while Drayco and Milfoy helped him pull. A great hairy lump rose out of the water, surrounded by a translucent bubble.
"Gots its," sputtered Drcao, shaking his fur dry. The Bubble-head Charm disappeared and the large spider tossed a Galleon at the Mini-Aragogs. "Never knewingses that scuba-divingses could be this much funses," whispered the Mini-Aragog. "Who's nextses?"
The name-mistakes jostled each other, each trying to go first. For their own safety Fleur Delacour had insisted that only one of the Mini-Aragogs go diving at a time, as she had grown very fond of the small spiders during her stay at HFA. Sitting next to her on the grass Bill Weasley chuckled and patted Weazly as Mafoy the Mini-Aragog won the fight and descended into the water.
It was hard to believe that only a little while ago HFA had been crawling with Mary Sues, Evil Avatars, and Slash demons. Meir Brin doubted that she would ever see anything like *that* again, mentioning the Ironic Over-power in her train of thought just to be safe. One never knew when that Ironic Over-power would strike again.
"My visions have been unclear as of late," said Trelawney mystically. "I feel the foreboding of great doom, great doom for all."
"Oh, give it a rest, Sybill," said McGonagall. "Perhaps we would give your 'prophecies' more credence if you actually took more time thinking up good ones. You've been using the 'impending doom' prediction for the past ten years."
"Do not speak ill of the Inner Eye! For it is great and strange and powerful..." said Trelawney, trailing off into a whisper.
"Yes, and I'm a duck," said Professor Sprout jokingly.
Trelawney chuckled amusedly, and with a wave of her wand turned Sprout into a fluffy mallard. McGonagall looked at her, raising an eyebrow as she scooped Professor Duck Sprout up off of the ground.
"A nice bit of Transfiguration, Sybill," she commented. Sprout quacked in protest.
Yes, the Canon Characters seemed to be getting on better without the fanwriters getting in the way, thought Meir Brin. Then a glint of black and silver caught her eye, and she saw a few members of the Order of the Sphinx run by, carrying duct tape and masking tape. Ally White followed after them, her uniform trimmed in gold. A few minutes later they returned, carrying a Vambiolato bound up in tape and Mini-Aragog thread.
Well, fanwriters did have their uses, acquiesced Meir Brin. She had to admit that HFA would have been doomed without them, but even that was rather painful to swallow. OFUM, Meir Brin's previous place of employment, had very different views about fanwriters. But then again most of that continuum's fanwriters tended to be fangirls, and that was a different matter entirely. Many continuums dealt with that. In fact, nearly *all* fandoms were plagued with shallow writing.
And yet at HFA... The Fanfiction world overflowed with Mary Sues and lusting fangirls, but there was a heart here that Meir Brin had never really felt before. But she had seen it. She had seen it at the Battle of the Canon. And it only went to prove her wrong: fanwriters may have their weaknesses, but they love their fandom. It was noble, in a hormone-induced sort of way.
There was a great whizzing noise and several firecrackers went off, exploding in a big shower of multi-colored sparks over the Hogwarts Lake. On the far bank Fred and George Weasley could be seen, lighting the fireworks with great gusto.
"Well, there's another Miss Natalie something-or-other that won't be bothering us," said Ally White, dusting off her hands.
"Oh?" asked Meir Brin.
"We tossed Miss Pretty out of HFA. She had the most unusual hair, though. Rainbow colors. Makes very pretty fireworks," said Ally, grinning.
Meir Brin looked back at the fuchsia and cerulean burst of light falling toward the lake and shook her head. "Sometimes I think we've corrupted you all," she said wryly.
Ally smiled, and watched a red firework do loop-the-loops in the afternoon sky. She was more content than she had ever been. It seemed that in her mind she had been given the best of two worlds: she could see her family and friends and live a normal life, and she could be immersed in the magic of HFA at the same time.
"So..." began Ally, looking at Meir Brin. "We've had stampedes, spider weddings, evil punctuation, and Canon crashes; what's going to happen next year?"
Meir Brin appeared mildly amused. "There'll be... something... to tend to, fanwriters to educate," she cast a quick glance at Lee Jordan and Neville Longbottom, who were covertly setting fire to Professor Umbridge, "Canon Characters to keep an eye on, and probably a bunch of new catastrophes. Nothing too out of the ordinary."
As Ally lay back into the thick, comforting grass, she smiled. Nothing too out of the ordinary... for the Hogwarts Fanfiction Academy.
The End.
*********
Author's Notes: Thus concludes the story; I hope that you have all enjoyed it. I will now thank every single person who reviewed, sent me Mini- Aragogs, or suggested ideas for this story. You are most appreciated.
Special thanks, however, goes to all of the fanwriters who became students at HFA, I hope I haven't offended you all too much, to the PPC, who are a light amid the shadow of bad fanfiction, and of course to Miss Cam of OFUM, without whom this story would not be.
Mini-Aragogs will be available for adoption soon, very soon, once I get my website up and running. If you wish to adopt a Mini-Aragog, leave your email address in a review and I will inform you when the Great List of Mini- Aragogs had been posted.
Those who leave their email addresses will also receive notification whenever another thing comes to pass. I am speaking, of course, of a sequel to this fanfiction.
Yes, I do intend to write a sequel, after a long break in which I organize my thoughts and hammer out the plotbunny into a coherent story. You'll have to be patient, though, because this probably won't come to pass until September or October (2003).
Have a good summer, and I hope you've enjoyed reading this fanfiction as much as I've enjoyed writing it. Remember, if you would like to be on the newly created HFA mailing list, tell me and I'll put you down for updates on Mini-Aragog adoption and the new HFA when it begins.
Meir Brin