We're all finding new ways to fall apart.

Chapter 1:

Karkat and I sat in complete silence as we stared at each other not knowing what to say. I couldn't stand the thought of leaving my best friend, as if it was even my idea. I stared him in the eyes and bit my lip. He began to speak. "So you're really going to leave..?"

I knew he was holding back tears. I knew I was the only friend he really had and that the feeling of loneliness would make him feel horrible. I resented my dad for making me leave. My voice cracked as I answered. "I'm sorry... it's not my choice. It's my dad and his stupid job!"

He nodded and I pulled him into my embrace. As my arms rested themselves on his back I could hear his heart racing through the pulse in his neck. I had to lean down a little to hug him properly; He was five inches shorter than me. My guilt boiled up in my stomach like chicken broth getting ready to begin bubbling inviting the ingredients to soak up in its lustful heat. Except instead of ingredients in this case it's the fact that I'm leaving the only friend I really have. He filled the silence with an airy chuckle that escaped his lips. "Be good Karkat… Don't cuss out any teachers, okay?" I chuckled and the look on his face went from flustered to lighthearted

"It was one time, Egbert." I smirked at him and ruffled his hair. His black fluffy locks were probably the most inviting thing about him. I was the only one to ever see him not look like he wanted to punch someone. I was the only one he showed his true empathetic self to. "Plus, we can text" he added as he gestured to his phone. I remembered that I gave him my number and smiled cheering up a little. My dad appeared as he poked his head in the room

"Come on john, the U-Haul is waiting" I rolled my eyes. How can he be so enthusiastic? I nodded and looked at Karkat one last time as my heart shriveled in my chest out of guilt. He gave me one of his reassuring smiles as if he's said goodbye so many times before. I closed my eyes and turned around walking to the car. I want to yell out that I want to stay. I want to scream to my dad that he can't make me do this, but I can't. My dad shoots me one of his "let's go" stares before I just roll my eyes and get in the passenger side of the truck. I put my headphones in hoping my music would just drown out all this anxiety in my head. I pressed play and closed my eyes as All Time Low filled my ears.

All of a sudden my headphone was removed from my ear with a sudden tug. I looked over and sighed. "what?"

"It'll be okay, kid. You'll make plenty of friends at your new school." He stated. "You're going into tenth grade. As long as you stay under the radar, you'll have no problem."

"You're kidding, right? There's no such thing as staying under the radar in high school, especially for the new kid."

"Come on, john. Just give me a break."

I sighed. "I'm not trying to take it out on you... I'm just going to take a nap." I closed my eyes and let my breathing get slower as I drifted off into a slumber.

The sky was grey, and the sun was almost invisible. My thoughts couldn't stay in one direction as I walked to school. I started to think of everything that's happened. I will never forget the day that my mom walked out the door. Not that I can really blame her; my dad ignores her. He's beginning to ignore me now more than ever. The only real reactions I get from him are these stupid notes he leaves everywhere. I felt a tear stream down my face but I just wiped it and continued walking. Up ahead I saw someone sitting on the curb. He must have been going to school because he had a backpack. I got a closer look and saw his features. He had pale white skin, fluffy black hair, and freckles. He was wearing a black turtleneck sweater and skinny jeans. He looked about my age and so he must go to the high school I'm going to. I sat next to him and looked at him. "you okay?"

He looked at me and gave me a small nod. "yeah. I'm just waiting for this stupid school bus that should've been here 30 minutes ago."

I couldn't help but giggle a little. "Do you go to Dunham High School?"

He nodded and I laughed a little. Well uh, not to be rude but the bus picks up over there" I gestured towards the other side of the block "and you missed it"

He groaned and got up. I got up as well and was surprised by our height difference. He was about five inches shorter than me. I giggled and gave him a playful push on the shoulder "Come on, I'm walking to school. You can walk with me."

He gave me a small nod and grabbed his backpack off of the curb. He looked extremely annoyed and frustrated. I gave him a small smile to maybe cheer him up a bit. He ignored the smile and walked on. I looked at him trying to observe. He didn't talk much, and he walked with a slight limp. He hid it very well, but I could tell a small limp was there. As we continued walking, I began to hum the theme song to Ghostbusters. He looked at me "is that Ghostbusters?"

I smiled "yeah! I love that movie!" I got a little excited and he gave me a small nod. I took this opportunity to strike up conversation. "You watch movies?"

He nodded and the look on his face went from annoyed to genuine. I smiled. "yes." He said. "Yes I do. I spend almost every day watching them. The ones I like the most are romcoms"

"I love romcoms; I have a whole box of 'em at my house!"

"That's cool." He looked up as we approached the school "this it?"

I nodded and smiled a little "well it was nice talking to you… I'm john."

"You too. I'm Karkat"

I smiled at him and began to walk away. Everything faded to black.

I woke up with a sudden shake of my shoulder. I looked over at my dad. "Come on, john. Rest stop!" I rolled my eyes and got out of the truck. He led me into the gas station and I saw him immediately go into the snack section. I went over to the drinks when I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my dad carrying a box of fruit gushers up so I could see. My body tensed and I glared at him. "You know I don't eat those anymore."

"You don't?"

I rolled my eyes and walked past him grabbing some chex mix instead. I also grabbed an Arizona tea and walked up to the counter grabbing my own wallet and pulling out five dollars. After I paid for my snack, I walked back to the truck and got in the passenger seat. I grabbed my phone and decided to text Karkat, just to see if he was upset or not. I went through the contacts on my phone and clicked on his name "carcinoGenicist"

EB: hey Karkat. How ya doing?

CG: oh, hey john. I've been okay. It's only been 3 hours y'know. Anyways, how is the road trip so far?

EB: eh. It's okay, I guess. I spent most of the time sleeping in the car. I had a dream about the first time we met.

CG: oh god, don't remind me.

EB: hehe

CG: Welp, im glad you're having a good trip. I miss you.

EB: I miss you too.

CG: so where are you going again?

EB: Las Angeles, California.

CG: oh my god that's so far from Oklahoma!

EB: I know!

CG: oh, chin up. I'll be fine.

EB: I know you're lying, but thanks.

CG: ha. I have to go john. Have a safe trip.

EB: bye Karkat :/

I put away my phone and my dad gave me a weird look. "who was that?"

I smiled "that was Karkat"

He looked at me and sighed "john we need to talk. Now you know how I feel about homosexuals. They are disgusting and you will never be one. I will not tolerate to have a homosexual son."

"what the hell- dad Karkat and I aren't dating."

He did a sigh of relief "oh good! I don't know what id be able to do if you were a homosexual. They're disgusting. You know how they have sex, right? They-"

"I know dad! - just stop it!" I hated it when he went on these rants. I've never had a girlfriend or a boyfriend. I've never even crushed on anyone before. I was starting to think that I'm not attracted to anyone.

He gave me a grunt and rolled his eyes. I sighed and put in my headphones. I was not in the mood for his talks. I stared out the window thinking about the next day. I start school tomorrow and I'm just thinking of how I'm going to start this year. I have a lot to think about and so little time to think about it. I just looked out the window with my music playing. I wish I didn't have to move…