~Madara's Trembling ~

Prologue

To whom it may concern,

One year ago today, Natsume Takashi was killed by a powerful, blood thirsty youkai. I can remember it clearly, no matter how much I want to forget it all. It was just another Youkai who heard about the Book of Friends and wanted it. We'd run into the forest and then defeat it there. But that is not how it ended. That Youkai was stronger than me, and it knew that. I was forced to watch it tear apart Natsume. His screams of pain and agony scared off anything that could have saved him.

I had seen the youkai let the poor human boy bleed to death, and then devour him like an after school snack. Human blood was everywhere, even on my soft, white fur. It took the Book of Friends and ran. I don't know what came over me, but by an hour later, I had the book back. It was only then when I realized what really, truly happened.

When I realized Natsume would never return home to Touko and Shigeru. He'd never hang out with Tanuma, Kitamoto, Nishimura, Taki, or even Sasada. He'd never work with Natori and Hiiragi. Hinoe, Misuzu, Benio, Chobihige, Chukyuu A and Chukyuu B, and even little fox. They were never going to have fun with such a human boy ever again.

I would always tell myself, or really anyone who I came across, that when Natsume was gone, I would have the Book of Friends, and I would use it. I wouldn't care about that boy and i'd run away, a new toy to play with. But when it really happened, I didn't want to be so selfish. After spending well over a year with Natsume, I've become the closest person to him. I know more about him than anyone else. In a fit of sorrow and rage, I decided to do something that I am not sure if I regret or not. I transformed into Natsume, went to his home, and ate dinner with the people Natsume called family.

I ate slowly.

I waited for them to stop talking.

And I didn't ask for seconds.

I perfected my Natsume impression, and did my best to cover my youkai smell. I slept in his bed, I went to school and did his school work, and I hung out with his friends. I did so well, not even Tanuma suspected anything. I talked with Natori. I was nervous, but Natori didn't see anything wrong either. When Hiiragi asked "where's your bodyguard, that cat."

I replied "He's out drinking. He'll be back soon."

Who would have known that that excuse could last me so long? Even when Touko and Shigeru asked where I was, I could say that he was sleeping upstairs or playing in the back yard. I once bought them a small calico kitten just to keep their minds off me for awhile.

So yeah, I kept this up for a year. I started realizing that I was not able to age my Natsume form. This caused more problems for me. This meant that I truly could NOT keep this up. If I were to try to be Natsume for any longer, I'd have to be able to age him. But that was beyond my skill. He'd always remain a high school looking young adult, because that was what I could remember him looking like.

Also, yesterday, Tanuma was tired with my shit.

"How come I don't see you around your cat anymore?"

Yet another thing I had forgotten.

"H-he's been chasing around a few Youkai lately. They're after me so he's keeping them away."

Tanuma walked away after that, but this was getting far more serious.

So, to whom it may concern, I have started planning to tell the truth. Not just to those who can see me and hear me, but to all those who were close to Natsume. I plan to tell everyone about his death, and I plan to get rid of the Book of friends. I plan to let out all of this pain, because it is slowly tearing me apart inside.

You know, I think i've changed. All I wanted was the Book of friends. Now all I want is to never see or hear of it again. I never cared for that boy, but now all I want is to just see him one more time. Do I have to die and visit the underworld to do that? Is that what it takes?

Natsume Takashi.

You are such a horrible human. What have you done to me? I hope you've been watching me with that damn Reiko by your side. I hope you're getting a laugh out of my pathetic, weak form! I can't believe you.

I...I really hate you.

I hate you so much.

Until then,

( I think my name was Madara, but you can just call me Nyanko-Sensei, whoever you happen to be.)