Last chapter guys…Last Chapter.

Thank you for reading and thank you for the support and the reviews. I can't express the happiness I feel every time I get a new review. Writing is my passion, and to be able to share it and have people enjoy it is indescribable. Even with such a sad story as this. :P

The aftermath from Masamune's P.O.V. What's he going to do with Ritsu gone?

It starts when Ritsu passes away in the park. SO DEPRESSING! D:

Enjoy the last chapter!

-Chapter 21-

"I love you," Ritsu utters.

For some reason, I get a bad feeling when he says this. It's almost as if it's his last time saying it. But I have to be optimistic, despite the pain I feel.

"I love you too Ritsu," I reply.

After a few seconds, I feel Ritsu's hands fall from my arm and I feel all his weight lean on me. I look down in alarm, almost fooled by the smile on his face. But I don't see his chest moving.

"Ritsu?!" I grab his shoulders, leaning him away and looking at him in alarm. I call his name again, but there's no response. Not even a twitch.

In panic, I brought you back to the car and sped to the hospital. You were soon in a private room on life support. The only thing keeping you alive. When the doctor told me this, my heart stopped.

No. No no no no.

I gripped your hand in my shaking ones. I thought I had prepared myself for this. The countless nights I stayed up, staring at the wall and preparing myself for this day. But I couldn't handle it. I prayed and prayed for you to be alive.

"Ritsu, come back. Come back to me. Stay with me. I need you, please," I pleaded. The tears never stopped as I begged.

Just open your eyes Ritsu. I need to see your beautiful emerald eyes one last time. I begged you to open your eyes again, to look at me and smile.

But you didn't.

You died that night.

Your parents, Kisa, and I all stood around your bed. I held your hand the whole time, never looking away from your face. Even with all the wires and tubes connected to you, you looked happy. Why was there a smile on your face?

The doctor unplugged the life support and removed your breathing tube. It didn't take long for your heart to flatline. When we all heard the monotone beeps turn in a steady hum, our hearts broke. But none as much as mine. I shamelessly hugged you, sobbing loudly on your shoulder in front of everyone. I didn't care, I just wanted you back.

.

.

.

I couldn't even make a speech at his funeral. Everything was so numb. Ritsu was gone. My Ritsu was gone. I would never see him smile or laugh again. I would never kiss him or hold him close again.

I spiraled into a deep depression. For months, I buried myself in my work during the day, but at night I went straight to the bar and drunk myself into oblivion. I would often pass out for hours, then go to work hung over and barely awake. Everyone noticed my anguish and how my life was crashing down. My performance at work deteriorated, which caught the attention of Isaka-san.

He said he'd fire me if I didn't take a vacation to get my life in order. Though I knew I would never fully recover, I took the vacation.

But I just took this time to drink and smoke. It was worse than college, minus the sex. Almost every day, I'd find myself passed out at the bar. I just couldn't go home. Everything reminded me of Ritsu.

I had lost the most important piece of me. My first and only love.

One night, I was driving while I was drunk. Next thing I knew, I was in the hospital with a concussion and a few fractured ribs. Though it was a minor fender-bender, it could have cost me my life if it had been more serious. Then I knew; I needed to get everything worked out. What would Ritsu think if he saw how I was acting? I could see him now, his emerald eyes angry and his face flustered as he scolded me. He was so cute as I imagined him. No matter how he looked, he was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

His image caused me to start laughing in amusement, which soon turned into bawling as I realized it wasn't real. I covered my face with my hands as I bawled. I would never see him angry again, or any of his expressions. I would never see him again.

When I was calmer, I called the only friend I had left: Yokozawa. Even after all this, he still was there for me. He immediately came over and listened to my grief.

"I see him everywhere. It hurts too much," My eyes had filled with tears again, "I miss him. I miss him so much."

I started to cry again and Yokozawa embraced me. I cried on his shoulder as he spoke, "I'm sure Onodera wouldn't want to see you like this. He'd want you to move on and live your life Masamune. He'd be worried, everyone is."

"I can't move on Yokozawa. Ritsu was my life," I must have looked ridiculous breaking down like this, but nothing mattered anymore. My life was gone.

"I know, but it's been almost three months. Think of Onodera; it's time for you to move on. If you're not going to do it for you, do it for him."

I realized he was right. I just started to cry again, but soon calmed down. I decided after I got out of the hospital, I would straighten everything out.

When I reached home a few days later, I must have stood outside the door for an hour. This was our home. Everything in it was his and mine. How could I go in without seeing him?

I forced myself inside and turned on the lights. I think I was here twice since Ritsu's death. My mind was numb as I walked to our bedroom door. I placed my hand on the door knob and took a deep breath. I twisted it slowly and opened it.

Everything was the same as before. Same bed, same walls, same curtains. But everything was different. There was no Ritsu sleeping in the bed, curled up in the sheets, sleeping peacefully. I went to his side of the bed and sat down. I picked up his pillow and hugged it to my chest. I fell back onto the bed and stared at the ceiling. Even after months, I swear his pillow still smelled like him.

God, it was too much. The memories came flooding back as did the tears. My ribs still hurt, but I sobbed onto Ritsu's pillow. Where are you Ritsu? Why didn't you stay with me? Why were you taken from me? What did I do to deserve this?

I fell asleep before I knew it. I slept for almost an entire day, but it was what I needed. My head was clearer and I planned my next moves.

I went and saw a therapist. I could never express my gratitude enough for all of her help. Yokozawa also continued to support me, and surprisingly Kisa. I suppose since Ritsu was Kisa's friend, he cared just as much. I had dinner once a week with Yokozawa and had lunch occasionally with Kisa. I went back to work as well.

Another two months passed. My therapist suggested I pack some of Ritsu's stuff away. This was going to be the hardest step. I started with the closet, putting his clothes in boxes and putting them in the storage downstairs. I went through his other things and finally, his books.

I knew how much he loved books and this was the hardest part. Every book I picked up, I could imagine him with a smile as he read it. When I picked up his favorite book, I grew even sadder. I noticed there was something in the middle of the pages, like a piece of paper. I opened it and a letter and a picture fell out. I looked at the picture first and couldn't help but smile.

The night I proposed to Ritsu, he had asked someone in the park to take a picture of us on his phone. I don't know when he got it printed out, but it must have been soon after. We looked so happy, especially Ritsu. He was radiant as he smiled, standing next to me and holding my hand. I stared at the picture forever, grateful I could see his beautiful smile and eyes as bright as the stars again.

I finally looked at the letter and my eyes widened in shock. I recognized Ritsu's handwriting. This was dated the day before my birthday and his death.

Dear Masamune,

I know you must be in pain, but I want you to be happy. Even after I'm gone, I'll be there. I will always be there; in your memories and in your heart.

Thank you for always being there for me, as a husband and a friend. It must have been worse for you than it was for me knowing I wasn't going to be around forever. But nevertheless, you took care of me and loved me to the end. I can never repay you and have only caused you pain, probably even after I'm gone. It's not fair, I know, but our love is something that not even death can destroy. I love you and will always love you.

I hope you will always remember me because I will never forget you. To love and be loved is the greatest gift you could ever have given me.

Love,

Onodera Ritsu

As I finished the letter, there were tear stains on the paper. I brought my knees up and wept into them, clutching the letter in my hand. The last sentences rang in my head. I could never forget you Ritsu. Your love was my greatest gift too. I will always love you and could never love like this again.

I looked up, seeing Ritsu looking down at me with a smile. He reached out, placing his hand against my cheek. I closed my eyes, savoring the warm touch I craved and missed. Though I knew he wasn't actually there and it wasn't reality, I choose to believe it.

"Ritsu," I called out.

Ritsu didn't say anything. He just continued to smile and crouched down in front of me. I stared into his eyes, yearning to touch him. To hold him again and to kiss him, to tell him I loved him. I wanted him back. It hurt, it hurt so much.

I reached out, wanting to touch him. But reality hit me again as I remembered he wasn't actually there. I had to draw back unless I wanted my life to come crashing down again. I took one last long look at him and forced a smile.

"I love you," I said.

I took a shuddering breath as I closed my eyes.

I opened them again to see him gone.

I breathed out slowly, relieved. I had finally made my peace. I set the picture and letter to the side as I continued to pack, finishing by the afternoon.

I found a frame and put the picture in with the letter behind it. I placed the picture on the nightstand next to the bed. I decided it was time to visit him. I hadn't gone to see him since the funeral.

I drove to the cemetery. It was a beautiful May spring day. I found his headstone and stood in front of it, reading the engraving.

Onodera Ritsu

March 27, 19XX – December 24, 20XX

Beloved Son, Husband, and Friend

It was simple, but that was all it needed to be. I made sure no one was around until I spoke.

"Hi Ritsu," I paused, a bit awkward. It was weird to talk to a headstone, but I felt like I needed to do this.

"I'm glad to say I'm better. Though I'll never fully recover, I'm moving on. I know I didn't visit you on your birthday, but I couldn't do it. If I had, I would have just spiraled back into depression," I shuffled my feet, thinking of what to say next.

"I got a therapist, surprisingly. She saved my life though; if I hadn't gotten to her, I don't know where I'd be now. Yokozawa and Kisa have been supporting me too. Oh, your mother called recently. She invited me for dinner Friday night and I agreed. She's tried to invite me before, but I was too broken to see your parents. But as I said, I'm moving on."

My eyes suddenly filled with tears as I looked at his headstone.

"I found your letter today…I miss you so much," My voice cracked and I wiped some tears away, "God Ritsu, you have no idea how much I miss you. This has been….so hard without you. But I know you want me to be happy, so I'm trying. I hope, wherever you are, you're happy."

I took a few breaths to steady myself. When I was ready, I smiled and said my last words, "I'll do my best Ritsu, for you. I'll talk to you later. I love you."

I took one more look and sighed. I turned away, walking back to the car. My heart was lighter and my mind was clearer.

I was going to start a new day to a new life.

So…So sad! This was sadder than the last chapter! I cried as I wrote this X3

I don't know if it's a common thing for people to talk to headstones like that, but I've done it before and I've heard other people have done it. Is it common?

Ugh, I can't get over how sad this is….POOR MASAMUNE! D:

Thank you again for reading and supporting me. This will be my last depressing story for a while. Next story will be happy!

Next story will be the MPREG story, but I don't know when I'll start that exactly. I'll try to soon(ish).

See you next story~!