Warning: Prostitution, Slash...um...

Merlin in modern day based on the film Pretty Woman. Basically I have borrowed (stolen) the plot of the film Pretty Woman and replaced the characters with people from BBC's Merlin...I literally own nothing of this fic, not even the plot which is a little depressing.

Disclaimer: I don't own BBC Merlin or the movie Pretty Woman.

Part 1/4.

"I told my secretary to make the arrangements. Didn't she call you?" Arthur sighed, when did talking to Gwen, even over the phone, get like this? The conversations were a chore leaving him feeling wrung out a tired.

"Yes she did. I speak to your secretary way more than I hear from you." Gwen's voice came through the line not sounding petulant just slightly weary. He wasn't the only getting tired of their conversations then.

"I see." Arthur did see he knew how much they had drifted apart.

"I have my own life too you know Arthur." Gwen informed him her tone decidedly put out.

"This is a very important week for me I need you here." Arthur sighed how was he supposed to get through all the functions and parties without Gwen on his arm fending off sycophants and mooning women after his looks and fortune? He needed to attend these functions with a date, it was protocol and made his life infinitely easier.

"But you never give me any notice you just think I'm at your beck and call." Gwen's voice had a hint of hurt and blame in now.

"I do not believe that you are at my beck and call." Arthur parroted duly before realising that is exactly how he had been treating her lately, he hadn't meant to, hadn't even noticed to his shame.

"Well that's the way you always make me feel, maybe I should just move out." Gwen's words came with a sense of finality and Arthur couldn't even dredge up enough emotion to feel angered or hurt.

"If that's what you want yes." Arthur spoke in a dry monotone.

"Alright when you get back to Edinburgh we'll talk."

"Now is as good a time as any."

"That's fine with me Arthur, goodbye." Gwen put the phone down signalling the end of their conversation along with their relationship.

"Goodbye Gwen." Arthur sighed and put down the phone.

Arthur walked down the stairs only half listening to what Galahad was saying.

"Edwin suggested that maybe I should..." Alarm bells sounded in Arthur's head, Edwin was his lawyer, a good one but his lawyer only. He shouldn't have been telling Galahad what to do.

"Edwin is just my lawyer okay." Arthur stated firmly leaving no room to doubt.

"Yes sir." Galahad replied smoothly.

"How did the stock go, over at the new place?"

"I don't know." Galahad replied shrugging his shoulders. Arthur nearly sighed out loud but decided to keep his annoyance hidden for now.

"You don't know?"Arthur repeated resignedly.

"Tokyo opened maybe ninety minutes ago; you have to keep on top of these things, alright." Arthur chided tiredly, honestly it was the obvious thing to do not something tricky.

"Done."

Arthur withheld a groan as a random woman he probably had only seen once before but didn't recognise stopped to say hello.

"Hello Mr. Pendragon." She said clearly, hurriedly shaking his hand.

"Hi, hi, how are you doing?" Arthur stated succinctly extremely glad she moved away straight away and didn't stop to chat. He turned back to Galahad.

"I want this whole thing wrapped up as soon as possible. I've got to get to Edinburgh by Sunday. I've got tickets to the Edinburgh Playhouse Theatre." Arthur informed Galahad a little put out by the deadline but at least he had tickets to the theatre, that was always a bonus.

"Ok."

"Your coat, Mr Pendragon." Arthur almost jumped as a burly butler handed him his coat at the doors.

"Thank you." Arthur stated feeling a little out of it as he tried to escape the party; he didn't care if it was rude he wanted to leave now.

"Arthur!" A woman's voice called. Arthur turned automatically already thinking of ways he could politely brush off whoever was calling him and make his escape.

"Elena!" Arthur's reluctant smile bloomed into a small heartfelt one as he kissed the neatly presented beautiful woman on the cheek hugging her briefly. She was an amazing woman, despite the fact she could (and did) trip over air.

"Hi. I was sorry to hear about Uther." Arthur winced and hurriedly changed the subject.

"Oh yeah, thanks. Heard you got married." Elena's face expressed her mingled embarrassment and happiness in response to Arthur's congratulations.

"Oh, well yeah." She held out her hand and showed off the ring hesitantly.

"Couldn't wait for you." Elena jokingly flirted.

"Elena tell me something." Arthur said quietly leaning in closer.

"Yes?"

"When you and I were dating, did you speak to my secretary more than you spoke to me?" Arthur was certain he had spoken with Gwen more than his secretary had, she had to have been exaggerating. That Gwen tended not to exaggerate was beside the point.

"She was one of my bridesmaids." Elena spoke softly. Arthur felt a brief punch to his gut, had he really neglected his previous girlfriends so much?

"Oh. Your husband's a very lucky guy. Bye" Arthur wanted leave, now.

"Thanks. Bye"

Arthur stood by the cars eyeing his parked near the back. Arthur sighed as Edwin came running up to him and he quickly interjected whatever he was going to say.

"Hey can I borrow your car?" Arthur asked urgently.

"Why what's wrong with the Limo?" Edwin briefly distracted replied.

"The Limo is buried back there behind all the other cars, they can't get it out. Please give me the keys." Arthur actually pleaded, this made Edwin pause and almost reflexively give Arthur the keys before his face twisted with worry.

"Alright look, I don't think you should drive you're a little excited don't drive my car let me work something out." Edwin turned to the valets.

"Guys what kind of a system is this? Can you move these cars out of here." He turned back to Arthur desperation in his eyes.

"Look Arthur, Arthur, er are you familiar with the stick shift and the... listen alright just be gentle with it don't..." Arthur stalled to Edwin's repeated dismay.

"It's a new car don't... Arthur give me a break please!" Edwin called plaintively.

"I love this car!" Arthur exclaimed exaggeratedly; he rarely got to drive for himself.

"I love it too. Look you don't even know where you're going you'll get lost in the dark! You're going the wrong way!" Edwin's shouts faded and Arthur drove away ignoring Edwin.

Arthur reached a dead end.

"Shit!" He exclaimed before turning right around and driving off in the opposite direction.

xxx

Merlin sleepily lifted one hand to turn off his alarm that was incessantly ringing. He hated waking up, it was decided.

He slowly got out of bed rubbing his eyes with a crumpled fist and yawning, jaw cracking. He stepped over both his and Gwaine's mess stumbling forward searching for his 'work' clothes.

xxx

Arthur mentally cursed. He was lost. He peered out the windows looking at the bright lights and signs in vain for a signpost, anything to tell him where he was supposed to be going. He groaned and only just prevented himself from banging his head against the steering wheel.

xxx

Merlin looked at the scuffs on his black trainers before colouring them in with black permanent marker, it would do for tonight. He looked in the mirror looking for any mistakes with his tight clothing, any rips or tears before placing on a blond wig hoping no one would mind his dark black eyebrows and eyelashes, not many blond people had blond eyelashes and blond eyebrows anyway. Merlin sighed and applied a little mascara just enough to accentuate his eyelashes.

He placed a small cap on his head to keep the wig straight before sighing and looking at the windows wistfully.

xxx

Arthur sped through the lights ignoring the bright red light that proclaimed 'stop'. Where on earth was he? Surely it wasn't this difficult to get to Kensington?

xxx

Merlin peered round the stairs cautiously, jacket almost sliding off his thin shoulders. The flat owner was demanding rent from another one the inhabitants at the flat next door to the one Merlin and Gwaine shared and arguing with one of the tenants. Merlin turned right back around and went back to the room. He went to the box where he and Gwaine put the rent money, pulled out the contents and looked at the too low amount with dismay.

There wasn't nearly enough!

Right that was it; he would have to confront Gwaine later about the missing money, this was the second time, now he had to leave without being accosted by the rent collector. Merlin climbed through the window and escaped down the fire exit stairs, he needed to get to work, now.

xxx

Arthur cursed out loud as he indicated left and turned right. He peered at the road signs not recognising any of the locations listed. Where was he?

xxx

Merlin set the ladder down on the fire escape and climbed down carefully making sure not to stumble or fall to the ground. He stepped over the small wall and walked on ignoring the police and the dead body sectioned off along with the tourists taking photos. Merlin felt a small surge of remorse that another had died or killed themselves through drug abuse and a hard lifestyle. He pulled his jacket around him hiding his rather revealing outfit, he didn't want to be arrested for his 'job', he had spent one time in jail, only a night, but it was enough to know he wouldn't last long if he was put away for a while.

He walked into the club Gwaine frequented and asked the bartender where Gwaine was. Unsurprisingly he was at the bar in the pool room. Merlin made his way over ignoring the looks sent his way.

Gwaine looked up face showing the slightest amounts of guilt when he caught sight of Merlin's irritated expression.

"Hey, Merlin, you're blond today! You remember Owain and Vivian right?" He indicated the two seated to his left.

"You took our rent money?!" Merlin spoke sharply cutting across Gwaine and ignoring the two seated next to Gwaine.

"I was the host to the party and I needed lots of booze." Gwaine even sounded a little drunk then.

"That was our rent money! I can't believe you brought booze with our rent, what is going on with you?" Merlin repeated indignantly.

"I needed a pick-me-up!" Gwaine stated stumbling when Merlin pulled him up.

"And we need rent money!" Merlin almost shouted irritated beyond belief, he just didn't get why alcohol was so essential to Gwaine.

"Calm down, sweet-cheeks, he only owes me £200 more." Cenred the local pimp and drugs dealer smoothly interjected ignoring Gwaine's muffled chastisement.

Merlin couldn't believe Gwaine, not only was he wasting their money on booze but he had taken a loan for it as well. It was how Cenred worked, he offered you a loan and you had to pay him back by a certain deadline, obviously when you couldn't pay it you ended up working for him for a pitiable amount of pay or if you weren't useful he and his henchmen took you out. Merlin was not naive, Gwaine would probably dip into drugs soon and his debts would pile up until it was his body in the bins the police found.

Cenred dealt with low loans, drugs and was a pimp.

"Another £200!?" Merlin again parroted.

"That was from before." Gwaine stated as if it made it any better, in fact that made it worse!

"That's right £200 Merlin, but if you want to work off his money with me, we'll go somewhere else." Cenred stated with a smile that sent shivers down Merlin's spine and not good ones. Gwaine it seemed caught onto Cenred's last offer and grabbed Merlin's arm removing him from the area to somewhere they could speak relatively privately.

They went to the bar Gwaine picking up some crisps from a bowl on the side.

"Gwaine, don't you... I just saw a girl being pulled out of a dumpster. Don't you ever want something better?" Merlin asked staring wistfully at the open door of the club.

"Where the fuck do you want to go? We're stable here." Gwaine asked gesturing around.

They wandered out to their spot on the road. Gwaine cheerfully told someone who was on their spot to take off. Merlin tuned out their argument, so what if he was relatively new, Gwaine was helping him and Gwaine certainly wasn't new.

Gwaine after exchanging lewd comments with various people excitedly pointed out a posh car that was breaking too sharply and wasn't being driven smoothly.

"Look, rent! You go over, you look good tonight, the hair shows off your cheekbones. Call me later; don't accept less than a £100!" Gwaine shoved Merlin forward.

Merlin sauntered over to the now parked car removing his jacket and showing off the tight clothes beneath with one last wistful look sent to the sky.

xxx

Arthur briefly entertained the thought that Edwin may have been right and he maybe shouldn't have been so hasty when leaving the party before dismissing it, he would rather be utterly lost and in a shady area of London than back at that utterly tedious party.

"Alright you can do this, first gear." Arthur muttered to himself clutching the gear stick tightly.

"Hey, sugar, you looking for a date?" Merlin asked leaning forward through the window.

Arthur looked over. "No, I want to find Kensington gardens. Can you give me directions?"

Merlin hesitated for a minute, they really needed rent.

"Sure, for £5." Merlin swamped down the slight feeling of shame he was feeling at charging for directions then looked back at Gwaine and strengthened his resolve.

"Ridiculous." Arthur muttered. Merlin stuck his tongue in his cheek before speaking again.

"Price just went up to ten." He hadn't liked the tone in which the man had spoken; it just rubbed him the wrong way.

"You can't charge me for directions." Arthur stated. Merlin thought that just made him sound even more snobbish.

"I can do what I want, I'm not lost." Merlin almost grinned it was sort of relaxing talking like this to someone as though he didn't have a care in the world. Merlin stood up to leave but didn't move, his stomach in view from the car window covered buy a shirt but a thin sliver skin on view just above his hip.

"Alright you win I lose. Change for a £20?" Arthur sighed holding out the money. Merlin slid in the car front seat and took the £20.

"£20 and I'll show you personally." Cenred came walking over shouting followed by his gang.

"Hey did you forget I told you no dates tonight?" Merlin swallowed sinking into his seat a little.

"Let's go." He insisted trying not to sound too urgent. Arthur took off to an unsteady start.

"You know you might want to consider turning on the lights." Merlin stated eyeing Arthur.

"I guess this is not the greatest time to be a hooker is it?" Arthur asked. Merlin felt a brief flicker of irritation, who did this man think he was?

"Look, I use condoms every time and go for checkups at the hospital once a month. Not only am I better in bed than an amateur, I'm safer than most of them." Merlin informed him regretting even getting in the car with this arrogant blond. Arthur smirked slightly.

"I like that. I think that's very good." Merlin scowled, now Arthur just sounded patronising, condescending.

"You should have that printed on your business card." Arthur stated the edges of his mouth curling up in amusement.

"You're just making fun of me, I don't like it." Merlin softly said, he may not have the nicest or debonair of jobs but it paid the rent, usually, and gave him a little to save. It might not be what he wanted to do but he could live with it for a while. He wouldn't deal with being taken the piss out of for his job, it was a bit of a touchy subject. Arthur shook his head.

"No, no, I'm not making fun of you. I'm not trying to offend you, I'm sorry." Arthur stopped harshly at the red light.

"What's your name?" Arthur asked. Merlin shook his head.

"What do you want it to be?" He asked pouting out his lip slightly.

Arthur just looked at him eyebrow raised. Merlin sunk down into his seat slightly, that glance had made him feel awkward, it had been a while since a client had made him feel ashamed or uneasy.

"Merlin." Merlin stated. Arthur snorted.

"Really?" He asked sceptically. Merlin flushed, that was his name and he wasn't ashamed or embarrassed about it!

"Yes, really. It's on my birth certificate." He snapped. Arthur held up a hand in surrender.

"Sorry, sorry, it's just an unusual name. And quite a coincidence." He muttered the last under his breath so Merlin couldn't hear.

"Sooo," Merlin drawled a few seconds later trying to break the silence that was verging on awkward.

"What hotel are you staying at?"

"The Royal Garden Hotel. Kensington." Arthur replied lights indicating left while he drove straight on.

"Down this road, turn left then right at the corner." Merlin directed.

"Pull over." Merlin ordered having got to the end of his patience with Arthur's awful driving. Arthur did as he said and Merlin hopped out telling Arthur to switch places. Merlin sat behind the wheel looking at the car with appreciation before driving off smoothly.

"It rides like its on rails." Merlin muttered to himself gleefully as he changed gears. Arthur raised an eyebrow, what the hell did that mean?

"Did you know your foots as big as your elbow to your wrist?" Merlin spoke up; he didn't really like silences and so said the first thing that popped into his mind. Arthur grinned.

"No I didn't know that. That was pretty random."

"Yeah, well." Merlin shrugged cheeks flushing lightly.

"Did you know adult male Walruses can weigh more than 270 stone." Merlin continued with a grin. Well, in for a penny in for a pound.

"So, how much do you make as a hooker?" Arthur asked disregarding Merlin's nonsense facts.

"£100." Merlin replied succinctly.

"You make a £100 a night?"

"An hour." Merlin interjected.

"You make a £100 an hour and you have black marker covering the scuffs in your shoes?!" Arthur exclaimed. Merlin shifted awkwardly, he hadn't noticed Arthur looking at his shoes.

"You've got to be joking." Arthur muttered. Merlin shook his head.

"I don't joke about money." Merlin commented factually.

"Neither do I."

"So one hundred an hour, that's pretty stiff." Arthur commented still slightly sceptical. Merlin placed a hand over Arthur's crotch and briefly squeezed.

"No, it's not. But it's got potential." Merlin stated letting go and putting his arm back. Arthur just looked at Merlin. The last couple of minutes were spent in silence before Merlin parked them outside a fancy looking hotel. A man dressed smartly in a suit came over.

"Good evening Mr. Pendragon. Need the car anymore tonight?" The man questioned while Merlin and Arthur got out the car.

"I hope not." Arthur chuckled. Merlin joined Arthur outside the hotel.

"Well you're here." Merlin stated shoving his hands in his pockets. They stood awkwardly on the pavement avoiding each other's eyes.

"So, are you going to be alright?" Arthur asked.

"Yeah, I'll catch the bus or a cab with my £20." Merlin said.

"Back to your office." Arthur joked.

"Yeah." Merlin mumbled.

"Well thanks for the directions." Arthur said reluctant for some reason to let Merlin out of his sight. Merlin clasped his hands together.

"See you."

"Goodbye." Arthur said watching Merlin turn to go. Merlin sat on a bench next to the bus stop. Arthur walked over.

"You know, I was thinking, did you really say £100 an hour?" Arthur asked.

"Yes." Merlin said eyeing Arthur speculatively.

"Yeah, well I was thinking if you don't have any prior engagements I would be very pleased if you would accompany me in the hotel." Arthur asked. Merlin smiled, that was probably the nicest proposition he had ever had (also the wordiest) and walked over.

"You got it. What's your name?" He asked curiously.

"Arthur." Arthur stated. Merlin laughed lightly.

"So that's why you were so sceptical about my name." Merlin chuckled.

"Yes."

Merlin batted his eyelashes exaggeratedly making it clear he was fooling around and clutched Arthur's arm putting on a fake falsetto voice.

"I tell you this is fate Arthur, fate!" They both giggled. Arthur removed his long coat and placed it around Merlin.

"Why don't you put this on?" Arthur said already draping it over Merlin's slight shoulders. Merlin looked around questioningly.

"Why?"

"Well this hotel, it isn't the type of establishment that rents rooms by the hour." Arthur hedged.

"Oh." Merlin jaw almost dropped as he stepped through the opulent entrance and followed Arthur through. "oh." Merlin repeated trying not to stare. Arthur got the key for the room. Merlin tried to ignore the stares pulling the coat more firmly around himself.

"Can you send up some champagne and strawberries please?" Arthur requested in a no nonsense tone.

"Of course, Mr. Pendragon."

Arthur guided Merlin through the wide spacious richly decorated rooms to the lifts. He smirked when he heard someone tell another person to 'close your mouth dear' before they got on one of the lifts. Merlin turned a slightly shocked gaze to Arthur when the lift attendant mentioned they were at the penthouse. It seemed Arthur was quite wealthy, far wealthier than Merlin had assumed, Merlin struggled to keep his unease under wraps.

"You impressed?" Arthur asked smugly when they entered the huge set of rooms. Merlin schooled his expression into one of boredom before replying.

"Of course not, I go to places like this all the time." Merlin joked before walking out to the balcony.

"Wow the view is amazing. I bet you can see all the way to the seaside from here!" Merlin stated before walking back into the room through the other set of French doors.

"I'll take your word for it." Arthur stated sitting at the desk.

"Why? Don't you go out there?" Merlin asked curiously, he had always been fascinated by heights, Merlin blamed it on his name sake being a bird, but he loved heights. He could sit for days on the balcony outside his and Gwaine's apartment daydreaming.

"I don't like heights." Arthur stated. He wasn't afraid of them, he wasn't! He just felt uncomfortable being near high places that he could easily fall from.

"So, if you're afraid of heights why did you book the penthouse?" Merlin asked.

"I'm not afraid, I just don't particularly like being high up. I have the penthouse because it's the best." Arthur began indignantly but finished ruefully.

"I looked around for penthouses on the first floor but surprisingly enough I couldn't find any." Arthur sarcastically explained. Merlin wandered round before removing Arthur's heavy coat that was much too large for him in width but alright in length and placing it on the sofa.

"Now you have me here, what are you going to do?" Merlin asked still looking round the ostentatious room. Arthur sighed.

"I don't have a clue. I didn't exactly plan this." Merlin took off his own jacket as well.

"Do you plan everything them?" Merlin questioned curiously eyes wandering to the balcony again. Arthur nodded.

"Of course." Arthur stated. Merlin looked at him incredulously.

"You plan everything you do?! I could never do that, I just fly where the wind takes me." An awkward silence fell. Merlin sat on the floor cross legged, the carpet was really soft, before getting up and perching on the edge of Arthur's desk, crowding Arthur.

"Alright, I got something you can plan. I got red, green and yellow, I'm out of purple but I got one gold coin, nothing is getting through this one." Merlin held up a range of condoms he plucked from his pockets and held them out offering. Arthur raised an eyebrow.

"A buffet of safety." Arthur remarked sardonically. He stood up. Merlin reached for his belt.

"Alright let's get one of these on you." Merlin said unbuckling the belt before Arthur grabbed his hands and stopped him.

"No, um, why don't we just talk for a little while ok?" Arthur suggested removing his jacket. Merlin nodded agreeably, he could talk...even if it was a little awkward.

"So, are you in town for business or pleasure?" Merlin asked swinging his legs. Arthur nearly smiled at how Merlin resembled a kid sitting on a desk at school when he did that.

"Business, I think." Arthur replied.

"Business you think." Merlin parroted back following Arthur into the lounge area.

"Well let me guess that would make you a lawyer?" Merlin half stated half questioned sitting himself down on the floor, head near Arthur's knees.

"What makes you think I'm a lawyer?" Arthur asked.

"You've got that sharp look about you, you notice little things most people miss and you're wearing the suit of one." Merlin deducted. Not many people would notice the penned in scuffs of peoples trainers only a few minutes after meeting them.

"I bet you've known a lot of lawyers." Arthur stated.

"I know a lot of everybody." Merlin stated leaning his head on Arthur's knee and running a hand up and down Arthur's calf and thigh. The doorbell went. Arthur and Merlin both shot up.

"What is that?" Merlin asked.

"Champagne." Arthur smirked.

"Oh. I'll just get that." Merlin muttered mouth right next to Arthur's. Merlin opened the door letting in a smartly dressed man holding a tray with an expensive looking bottle on. Merlin ignored the once over the man gave him.

"Where would you like it?" The man asked briefly taking his eyes off the tightly clad young man. Merlin shrugged slightly uneasy by the penetrating stare.

"Where would we like it?" Merlin asked looking at Arthur.

"Over by the bar." Arthur replied now seated regally in one of the armchairs.

"It will be on your bill Mr. Pendragon." The man stated eyes on Merlin.

"What are you looking at?" Merlin stated confused. Arthur walked over and handed the man a few notes, the man hurriedly left after.

"Oh, tip." Merlin muttered to himself.

"So do you have a wife? Partner? Girlfriend?" Merlin asked removing his trainers.

"Both." Arthur stated. Merlin frowned.

"And are they shopping together?" He snarkily retorted.

"My ex-wife is now in France with my ex-home and my ex-dog." Arthur handed Merlin a glass of champagne. "My ex-girlfriend, Gwen, is in Edinburgh moving out of my apartment as we speak." Arthur faltered as he saw Merlin downing the champagne rapidly. He silently offered Merlin a strawberry. Merlin took one and fiddled with it but didn't eat it.

"Look I appreciate the seduction act but we only have an hour so why don't we get right down to it?" Merlin asked.

"I see this hourly rate thing is something you feel strongly about. How much for the whole night?" Arthur asked trying to look innocent. Merlin's eyebrows shot up.

"Stay here?" Merlin said softly thinking quickly. "You couldn't afford it." Arthur smirked.

"Try me." He stated confidently.

"£300." Merlin said.

"Done." Arthur accepted. He picked up Merlin's glass and refilled it. "Now we can relax."

"Are you sure you want me to stay for the entire night? I mean we could just get on with it then I'd be on my way." Merlin offered.

"I would rather you stay." Seeing Merlin still looked slightly uncertain Arthur sighed and explained. "I don't really feel like being alone tonight."

"Why? Is it your birthday or something?" Merlin asked curiously leaving the second glass of champagne untouched, if he drank much more he wouldn't be coherent for the rest of the night, Merlin was quite a light weight.

"So what do you want me to do?" Merlin asked sitting on the floor and wrapping his arms around his knees. Arthur laughed.

"I don't know. I have no clue."

All (most) of the speech taken from Pretty Woman.