Your name is Cronus Ampora and you can't believe your community service partner has never watched Grease.

Yeah, you get that he's a freshman, but still, most people have watched it by at least middle school. Hell, you made your deadbeat eighth grader younger brother watch it when he was two, and you watched it when you were around four.

"So you're telling me," you say slowly. "That you've never seen Olivia Newton John in a skintight Spandex outfit while John Travolta prances around a funhouse." He eyes you suspiciously, and you laugh. He's a funny guy, Kankri Vantas. You have to wonder how you got paired up with him for your community service hours. Maybe they thought he'd be good for you or something.

"I prefer not to objectify women, even if they are fictional ones. You know, you seem to have a bit of a problem with your treatment of people, suspiciously ones of the female gender, treating them like they're supposed to be impressed by every little facade you put on and your-"

Yeah. You don't think he's very good for you.

"Okay, okay, I get it. Just watch the damn movie with me."

Kankri huffs and sits down on your couch like a displeased cat. You silently thank god that your brother and your dad aren't home, because your dad's just nasty and your brother is...well...a middle schooler. You put in Grease, and Kankri seems to be taking mental notes all through the intro. You figure he's probably making some sort of mental social justice chart for it.

"Is that the type of man you want to look like?" He jerks a finger at Danny Zuko. "With all that…product…in your hair? Because frankly, he looks disgusting." You feign an offended expression and Kankri blows the whistle he for some reason is always wearing around his neck. "I am triggered! Seeing other people kiss triggers me!"

You roll your eyes. "Is it because you've never been kissed before?" Kankri's face turns red and he looks like he's about to melt into his five sizes too big and extremely ugly sweater. "It's okay, man, I haven't either. Tough luck."

Kankri makes a tch sound, but continues watching. Once they get to the first big musical number, you swear you can see Kankri tapping his foot a little while trying to hold a disapproving expression. "Liking it, are you?"

"I think this portrayal of teenage girls is extremely disrespectful."

You can't help it, you start cracking up. "Jesus fucking Christ. Just...fucking Christ, kid. Can't you enjoy anything?" Kankri looks slightly offended, then chuckles quietly. "See? That's the spirit."

"I didn't say anything."

You grin at him. "You were laughing at my joke, Kankri. C'mon, own up."

"Perhaps I may have...found your mocking of me slightly amusing." He chews his lip and looks like he's about to blow his whistle again, but by the time you get to "You're the One That I Want" he's smiling and doesn't seem like he's trying to pout to hide it.

OKAY OKAY THIS IS REALLY BAD AND I AM REALLY SORRY I WROTE THIS AS A FIC TRADE WITH A FRIEND YEAH