too hot to sleep

is Dean awake
no

get up walk around

water
old pipes make a lot of noise
did that wake Dean up
yet if I were to draw a knife he'd be awake in an instant

and I'd probably be dead

doesn't even look peaceful when he's asleep
what is he dreaming
he looks worried

shouldn't be staring
why am I staring
I don't stare at Sam like this

water

it's quiet tonight
too hot for anything to bother making noise
cold shower might help
too noisy

why am I staring at him again
like watching him breathe will keep him doing it
would he wake up if I touched him
just his cheek
probably

how can he stand being under that sheet fully clothed
stop staring

glass is empty

cold tile bare feet
could sleep in here

why do I stare at him
he doesn't stare at me
not like that
do I want him to

tile uncomfortable

bed, pillow just so
can't see him from here
why does that matter

too hot to sleep
too hard to sleep with him so close so far away
always so far away

Dean
let me be close
please