Chapter one

The first few weeks after the battle of Hogwarts people were starting to believe that Voldemort would not return, not like he did before, so people were going out more, starting to live their lives. All the Weasley's were trying to come to terms with the loss of one of their own, it was hard on all of them, but more on George than the others. Fred's funeral was hard again more on George than everyone else. All the Weasley's went with Harry to Remus and Tonks' funeral which was hard on Harry, losing the last person who had been close to the Potters. Hermione stayed close to Ron to help him through the loss of one of his brothers, she wanted to help Harry who seemed quiet and she thought maybe he was depressed and it got worse after Harry attending the funeral for Severus Snape, but that time he went alone, he had told everyone it was private so even without knowing why, they let Harry have that time alone. From the moment he arrived back at the Burrow he always said he wanted to be alone, which is what Harry did, spent time alone, especially down near the old pond.

Harry was leaning against the large tree as he stared around the apple orchard or over the water that rippled in the midday breeze. His thoughts kept going over everything, wondering if he could have changed something so Fred Weasley didn't die, so Remus and Tonks lupin didn't die, so Severus Snape didn't die. Every time Harry thought about what he had seen inside the shrieking shack, he felt like his very soul ached with sadness. No one knew the real Severus Snape, Harry did, no one even knew that Harry was more informed than anyone believed, his friends, Hermione and Ron who only knew part of everything, some about Severus Snape, some they didn't know. Apart from the ache he felt of who had died, Harry felt sick, that sickness went to his soul as well, the sickness caused by knowing he shared his soul with Voldemort. Hermione and Ron knew that, but Harry had asked them to keep that bit of information to themselves, which they promised to never repeat. Ron did say that he thought Harry should explain to his family so they would realise and understand how far Harry was willing to go to stop Voldemort and how far Voldemort was willing to go to live forever. Harry explained that for now he wanted it kept quiet, but he would think about explaining to the Weasley family, just not yet.

'Harry.'

Harry turned, 'Hi Ginny.'

'Can we talk?'

'Sure, I've been expecting to talk to you.'

Ginny sat down facing Harry, 'We both know why you broke up with me and I admit I was angry, then furious when you made us all believe you were dead. But I've been doing a lot of thinking and I know you have been as well.'

'Um, is this about us?'

'Sort of, I hope this doesn't hurt you Harry, but I realised my feelings for you weren't what I thought.'

'I'm not hurt Gin, but there is something I need to tell you about when we dated. To explain that though I will need to tell you some other stuff and I would like it kept private.'

'Okay, I promise, so you weren't expecting us to see each other again?'

'No, which I will explain, did you expect us to?'

'No, I was just surprised that's all.'

'Then we can talk about all this, but I want to make sure no one hears anything. Would it be alright if I cast some charms that I know, it will stop anyone hearing us or seeing us?'

'If you want, we should warn mum though, she might think we're up to something,' Ginny giggled.

'I do not want your mother thinking I'm shagging you Ginny.'

'Then let's go have lunch and tell me we're just going to be talking.'

'We might have to tell her that we're nothing more than friends.'

'She'd believe you if you said that, not me. You never lie to her, you might say outright that you can't tell her, but you never made up something that wasn't true and she knows that.'

'Alright, I'll tell her,' Harry stood, held his hand out to Ginny who took it and he pulled her to his feet, 'You're injures look better,' Harry looked at Ginny's hands and wrist, then her neck.

'They are, there just scars now, like all yours. Come on,' Ginny slipped her arm through Harry's and they walked into the house.

'You two friendly, are you back together?' Molly asked but Charlie, George and Percy looked up, Arthur glanced at his daughter than Harry.

'No, we didn't know you knew we dated.'

'Parents know things Ginny dear.'

'There's a few things I need to tell Ginny about when we dated. But no, neither of us want a relationship. So I wanted your permission to cast some charms down at the orchard, what I have to say is personal and private. I explained to Ron that maybe one day I can tell you some, which I will, but not yet. One thing I have to explain to Ginny I will tell you after we've talked.'

'Then you can cast your charms Harry, we trust you,' Arthur said.

'Dad, what if all this is a way to fool you so they can shag?' Charlie asked.

'I give my word that shagging Ginny is something that won't happen, not from me. We need to talk then I will explain which when I do you'll understand. I promise the only thing that Ginny and I will be doing is talking and maybe holding hands, like I do with Hermione, but I don't want to shag her.'

'You better not mate, Hermione's my girlfriend,' Ron said as he stepped into the kitchen with Hermione, 'So what's this about?'

'I need to talk to Ginny in private, but we both do not want to get back together. Now I want to use some of our charms so our conversation stays private.'

'Oh, okay then,' Ron sat down with Hermione.

'You trust Harry with Ginny?' Percy asked.

'Yeah, I do, but Harry will explain when he can.'

'Arthur has given permission, but after we eat, so sit down,' Molly said then placed food on the table.

'So is this about everything Harry?' Hermione asked.

'Yes, Ginny deserves to know as it does involve her. I just hope she doesn't hex me when she hears it.'

'Maybe I will, I won't know until I hear it.'

'If you do, I understand, but you can blame Dumbledore even though I went along with it.'

'No talking, eat,' Molly scolded, so that's what everyone did, even if they still talked, they did eat.

Harry and Ginny walked down towards the orchard, Harry cast his charms around Ginny then sat down against the tree, Ginny sat facing him.

'Did you ever get a sense about me, something that didn't feel right to you?'

'I'm not sure what you mean, when?'

'When we dated, when we snogged.'

'Oh, yes, I did, that's what had me thinking a lot when you were away. I used to watch others, like Bill and Fleur, I also remembered when I dated Dean. You never really put yourself into the kiss. Has that got to do with what you're going to tell me?'

'Yes, but first, can you explain why you don't want us to get back together?'

'Okay, being away, being in hiding, at Muriel's, there wasn't a lot we could do. I spent a lot of time alone, thinking. I realised that my feelings for you weren't real, I was more attracted to the boy who lived than you but it also gave me time to work something else out. But how I was attracted to you is when I worked everything out, does that make sense Harry?'

'Perfectly because Dumbledore told me the exact same thing and why I kissed you that night in the common room. But know this Ginny, I never wanted this, I told Dumbledore, he made sense though and it's because of someone's safety that I went along with it.'

'You were told to kiss me?'

'Basically, yeah, I like you Gin, a lot, you're a good friend and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt you and I definitely didn't want to use you. But as Dumbledore said many times, all of us were expandable if it meant the death of Voldemort. I never understood at the time, but I do now, more than ever before. Just know that I'm sorry you were pulled into this and I wish you weren't.'

Ginny could tell Harry was sorry, now she was about to hear exactly why he had become her boyfriend when it was obvious he never wanted to.