Author's Note: A plot bunny came running out of the meadow one day, taunting me with its fluffy tail, and I couldn't resist. I am so eating my words right now, since I have said before that Thorin-falls-in-love on the quest is almost impossible and I have lost my faith in them. I guess I am practically challenging myself then. Don't worry for readers that are beware of girl-goes-on-quest-stories-that-use-the-same-exact-movie-dialogue. I will try to avoid it and *hint hint* will make some changes, so then the dialogue will be completely up to me. This story starts in Bree and is OC POV. I am borrowing the idea of having songs as chapter titles and including lyrics from my fellow Outsiders fanfiction writers, just in case, someone is like, "WTF is up with this?" I will be upfront and say that come October, updates will be less frequent because I will be revising my manuscript, but if I fall in love with this story, I shall continue :) Now let's get on with it.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or I would be a rich mothafo. Everything belongs to Tolkien and Peter Jackson. I do not own "House of the Rising Sun" by the Animals and I do not own "Heroes" by David Bowie, where the title of the fic comes from.

Chapter One: House of the Rising Sun

Rue knew just as much about Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit, as she did about hair relaxers. It just wasn't meant to be. You know, if she hadn't fallen in Middle-earth, then she would still be happily naïve. Yes, Middle freaking earth. Why here out of all places? Why not Hogwarts? Rue was a Harry Potter fanatic, not a Tolkien-gone-cuckoo-for-cocoa-puffs type of chick. If she had landed in Hogwarts, she would've known what to do, where to go. Dumbledore. Duh. But here all she knew was―that Gollum was crazy, there was an important Hobbit named Frodo, the one ring was Voldemort-status evil, and there was a cool Dwarf out there named Gimli.

She let out a painful sigh as she sat at a table with a man who made Voldemort look like a happy camper―Naji. They were sitting in the Prancing Pony, Rue deciding she would rather be back in college, where some person always pointed out, "Gee, you go by the same name as that chick who dies in The Hunger Games." Well, on the bright side, Rue wasn't named Katniss. Rue didn't really mind the name-pointing-out much, but it used to sometimes grate her nerves if she had a bad day. But of course, because she was Rue, she had never said anything. Maybe on that fateful day when she fell in Middle-earth one month ago, she should've said something to Naji, but nope.

He was picking at her hair, the feel of his long fingers making her uncomfortable. "Why is your hair so out-of-control, so unruly? You will cut it before you start resembling a Dwarf. Oh, a Dwarf, what vile creatures," Naji said loudly, not caring to keep down his boisterous voice. She knew not to say anything or he would really go off, as in yell like Ron at the Yule Ball. Rue pulled her hair back sheepishly, trying to make the gesture seem completely natural, so she wouldn't offend him.

He leaned back in his chair, putting his boots up on the table, mud from his boots dripping all over the place. Gross. Rue hugged herself, trying not to let it bother her. Naji had said if she agreed to escort him places, like "hanging out," then he would take her to meet the Guardians of Middle-earth who might be able to send her home. So for now, Rue was going to play nice. Nobody else around here was willing to help her. When she had fallen in Middle-earth, everybody in Bree had called her crazy and delusional. At least Rue had sweeping and cleaning tables in the tavern―which gave her a free room in the Prancing Pony―to distract her from the not-so-obvious whisperings of, "That woman is mad."

"Dwarves are cool," Rue, piped up, grinning as she remembered watching some bits and pieces of the second Lord of the Rings movie when she was a kiddo living in a motel with her family. They had scraped up the money to buy it on pay-per-view because it'd been Rue's birthday. Too bad, she'd fallen asleep that night because then maybe she would understand what the heck Middle-earth was all about.

"What is this 'cool' you keep speaking of?" Naji asked, his black ponytail swinging behind him as he eyed a passing barmaid too longingly. The ponytail made him look like Gaston from Beauty and the Beast.

"Uh, nothing," Rue murmured guardedly. She took a sip of water, pondering over how close the Shire really was. If she could make it to the Shire on her own, she would try to see if she could find Frodo or that dude named Pippin. They were main characters in Lord of the Rings, so they ought to know the Guardians of Middle-earth. The Shire seemed interesting anyway. It was filled with freaking Hobbits. Hobbits!

"Look what speaking of Dwarves has brought upon us," Naji snarled, glaring daggers at the entrance as four Dwarves walked in. "It is that same Dwarf from yesterday, 'King Under the Mountain.' He was meeting with the Wandering Wizard as though he is of vast importance."

Rue was anxious, half wondering if she should ask the Dwarves where Gimli was or if they knew the Guardians of Middle-earth. These Dwarves were definitely from somewhere else, out of town. If Rue played it cool, they wouldn't think she was crazy and might help. Hey, she wasn't counting on it, but might as well try. The people of Bree were okay, but weren't going to help her anytime soon or tell her jackshit, unless the person's name rhymed with Haji.

She watched as one of the Dwarves passed her quick, the guy pintsize, wearing cardigan gloves. He was adorkable. Rue was about to get up and ask Mr. Adorkable questions about the Guardians, but another Dwarf distracted her. This one had red hair. Hey, he was wearing the Snooki bump, but with braids.

He paused by the table, eyes narrowing on Rue. He gave her the willies for some reason. Rue's arm shot across the table in her fit of sudden nervousness, crashing against her glass of water. The glass rolled off the table, landing on the floor, luckily just creating a thump and not shattering.

The Dwarf knelt down to pick up the glass before Rue could jump off the chair and say, "It was this Gaston lookalike! Get him," and then run out the door.

He passed her the glass, Naji giving the guy the stink eye big time.

"I see you have lost your water," the Dwarf simply said. He then continued on his way across the Prancing Pony, following Mr. Adorkable.

After him, came a gray-haired Dwarf, who was stomping and muttering angrily underneath his breath. He followed the other two Dwarves, fists clenched by his side. She wondered what had Mr. Fussy Dwarf's undies in a bunch.

Out of desperation and for once ignoring her insecurities that said, "The Dwarves already think you're stupid, duh, since you spilled your water," she went to stand up, but sat back down when she saw the fourth Dwarf walk by her. That was definitely King Under the Mountain. He sure was scary, giving off an air of toughness that screamed, "You fuck with me, I'm gonna kick your ass." Rue watched the Dwarf in fascination, his long, dark wavy hair spilling over his shoulders as he stormed across the Prancing Pony. Naji clenched his fist, giving Grouchy Dwarf the ugliest sneer she'd ever seen him wear.

Hmm. Well, Grouchy Dwarf was definitely not approachable. Mr. Adorkable seemed like the most likely option to talk to.

"You act as though Dwarves are the most fascinating of races," Naji interrupted her thoughts. "It affirms your mad story even more. Do you not know Dwarves are greedy and would rather stay in their mountains, hoarding their treasure? Why is 'King Under the Mountain' here? Does he have Dwarf soldiers lined up outside Bree, ready to attack? This is a town of Men. He needs to learn his place and leave."

"Uh," Rue awkwardly said, her stomach clenching at Naji's discrimination, "but Gimli was a hero." It felt like the tavern was too small, the people sitting by their table too close, like she was claustrophobic.

"Who is this Gimli you keep speaking of?"

"I don't know the details, but he's short, has a red beard, and this awesome helmet. He dove in the middle of this battle on all these Orcs to save his friend."

"Well―" Naji snorted, pointedly glancing at his boots― "take off my boots."

Rue's eyes doubled in size as she watched the Dwarves all settle in on one table, casting glances at the Men warily. Grouchy Dwarf leered dangerously at Naji before averting his gaze. Okay, she could handle Naji saying snide remarks about her appearance, but not the taking-off-his-boots thing.

"What?" Rue asked, tempted to pull her bushy, got electrocuted-status, ashy blonde hair in front of her face to pretend this wasn't really happening.

"You heard me. You must earn the right for me to take you to the Guardians of Middle-earth."

"You really want me to take off your boots?" Her voice sounded pathetic to her own ears. Rue hoped Naji had suddenly developed a sense of humor and this was a joke.

"Yes, now do it, or else I will never help you seek out the Guardians who will return you home," he said acidly, his bottomless eyes honing in on her.

Rue looked away, flinching, gulping. Okay, this was going to be one of the most degrading things she'd ever done, 'sides from searching for cigarette butts on the streets to give to Mom.

She stood up, dark eyes squinting as she touched Naji's boots, getting mud on her hands. Rue was disgusted, making a face worthy of Hogwarts students in herbology class. Rue pretended it didn't bother her, yanking off his boots. She dropped them on the floor fast, shaking her hands and squealing in disgust.

"You are squeamish, are you not?" Naji cocked an eyebrow at her.

Rue swallowed hard. "So―so, uh―"

"Stop stuttering," Naji snapped. "It is very unbecoming." What?

Rue glared now, this close to breaking down. Usually, she was calm and collected, but right now, it was too much. She was shaking, body clammy, her chest heaving. Between dropping her glass of water, Snooki Dwarf giving her the heebie-jeebies, and Naji degrading her ugly hair, tears pricked her eyes. Don't cry, she told herself. But then her lips were quivering, this wretched choking sound leaving her body. She just wanted to go home, even if home was Stockton, California.

"DID YOU NOT HEAR ME?" Naji roared, banging a fist on the table. Most of the Prancing Pony fell deafeningly silent, the rowdy Men and four Dwarves watching everything unfold like it was some soap opera. Naji pushed his red tunic sleeves back, revealing long arms, clenching his fists in anger.

Rue stammered, "I―I did." She suddenly noticed the burning candle at their table, really taking note of it. If worst came to worst, she would hit Naji with the lit candle. Rue wiped the few stray tears falling down her cheeks, the quiet in the tavern making her flesh prickle with goose bumps.

"Are you crying?" Naji mocked, smirking.

Rue shook her head, her hand inching closer to the candle. Sure, she did come off as a pushover, but she knew how to fight back when she had to. You didn't grow up in Stockton and go to school there your entire life without knowing a thing or two about self-preservation.

Naji then rose out of his chair, the big height difference between them suddenly making the hairs on the back of Rue's neck stand up. Oh, no. Her hands clasped the chair's headrest, knuckles turning white in her death grip.

The Men sitting at the bar were blinking in confusion, looking to each other as if wondering, "Should we interfere or let the lad teach his lady a good lesson?" Okay, so Rue wasn't exactly sure that was what they were thinking, but from the one month she'd lived in Middle-earth, she had quickly learned the guys of Bree thought it was okay to "discipline" their wives. Rue wasn't Naji's anything, but the people of Bree seemed to think he was going to court her soon. Not that Rue would ever agree to that.

Naji began tartly, large front teeth flashing, "First, you ogle over Dwarves, as though they are really worth something."

Rue put a hand to her mouth. Uh, she didn't know much about Middle-earth, but it was starting to sound like Naji had a death eaters campaign against Dwarves. She shrunk back as he stepped closer, making sure her hands never left the chair. Her heart pounded wildly, these jumble of nerves skyrocketing through her body. Tears streamed down her face, from the humiliation, from the daunting realization that what if this was the rest of her life. Hadn't she suffered enough? No. Must be optimistic―

Naji started bellowing bloody murder, his face red, voice echoing like a grenade, "IF YOU ENJOY DWARVES SO MUCH, THEN BY ALL MEANS ASK IF THEY BELIEVE YOUR MAD STORY! GO ON! BETTER YET, ASK THEM TO OVERCOME THEIR HINDRANCES FIRST, AS IN THEIR PATHETIC HEIGHTS AND GREE―"

Wham.

Rue's hand had shot out, smacking Naji across the face, a giant, red handprint etched in his cheek. His nostrils started flaring, dark eyes becoming violently irate. Oh, shit. Rue had poked a freaking bear. It was at that moment, she knew she had just initiated what would be the second fistfight of her life.

"I'm so―sorry," she sputtered.

She swallowed hard, scared out of her mind, yanking up the chair just as Naji stormed forward. Rue held the chair up between them as a barrier, stumbling backwards.

"Leave the lass alone."

Rue took a quick glimpse over her shoulder, in shock as she saw Mr. Fussy Dwarf standing behind her, leering with the utmost animosity at Naji. She was about to tell Mr. Fussy that she was from Stockton and could handle it, when he gently pulled her backwards.

Mr. Fussy neared Naji, completely unabashed by their height differences. Rue lowered the chair, open-mouthed. All of a sudden, Mr. Adorkable and Snooki Dwarf were thundering past her, sneering as they stood on both sides of Mr. Fussy.

"Three Dwarves." Naji snorted. "Pathetic. Come back to confront me when each of you have grown five inches or so, better yet, go hide in your mountains. It is for those sole reasons Dwarf kingdoms like Erebor have been lost, because the Valar saw you creatures were up to nothing worthy of the whole of Middle-earth. They punished the likes of greedy Dwarves like Thror." Fire flashed in his eyes as he growled, giving Grouchy Dwarf a pointed glance, "Erebor deserved to be burned. If I could, I would congratulate Smaug."

The Prancing Pony was deathly silent, the tension in the tavern as taut as a piano string.

Rue didn't know what Erebor exactly was or Smaug, but even she got the gist that was a low blow by the looks on the Dwarves' faces. Snooki Dwarf pulled a flash of silver out of his sleeve―a knife. Mr. Adorkable lurched forward, cardigan knitted gloves balled in fists as Mr. Fussy pulled him back.

In a flash, Grouchy Dwarf trudged past Rue, his coat swirling by his legs regally, the look on his face murderous. He clenched his fists, marching right up to Naji, ignoring the other Dwarves. Fleeting emotion was on his face, replaced quickly by hardness, by this ugly rage that was a force all its own. Rue hadn't meant to start all this. Oh, no. She hugged herself, sheepishly nearing their table to get the candle, stopping in her tracks when Naji spoke.

"Well, well, it looks as though the right Dwarf has returned to a place he is not welcomed. Thorin son of Thrain, son of Thror―" He raised his arms in the air mockingly dramatic― "King Under the Mountain. So Thorin, you are such a 'king' are you not? Is that why I saw you slaving away in villages of Men, the more dominant race―"

His words were cut-off as Thorin punched him in the face, the hit so hard that Naji's six foot four frame was sent stumbling backwards, his body crashing against a wooden wall. He was in shock, wiping away a fountain of blood dripping down his long nose.

Rue squeaked, jumping in alarm as the Men in the Prancing Pony were suddenly up on their feet, cheering the fight on. This wasn't the time to compare anything to high school, but it reminded her of one of those high school fights some kid would record on their cell and put on YouTube, except fifty times more serious. Emotions galore flooded her: fear, guilt, uneasiness, confusion, and misery. Thorin bounded after Naji, growling under his breath.

Snooki Dwarf raised his arms in the air. "Aye, Thorin, give him a kick in the r―"

"You were not really going to use that?" Mr. Adorkable asked, his voice splintered, pointing at the knife in Snooki Dwarf's grip.

He grinned cheekily. "Of course not, Ori."

Mr. Fussy interrupted, stomping one foot down, looking seconds away from throttling Snooki Dwarf with his bare hands after he had a go with Naji, "Will you give it a rest, Nori, Thorin is in tr―"

"Dori, he is not in trouble," Nori said coolly. "Why must you always make a big fuss over nothing?"

"This is nothing? A Man insulting the loss of Erebor―"

Rue fleetingly noticed Nori and Dori continued bickering, their faces becoming passing thoughts as Thorin slammed Naji against the wooden wall. His giant hands were gripped around the collar of Naji's tunic, sending his head cracking against wood. Naji bucked forward, punching Thorin in the stomach. Thorin stumbled back, his expression hell-hath-no-fury-like-a Dwarf-scorned livid.

Their arms tangled as they grappled, trading punches back and forth, Thorin having the upper hand. Rue picked up the candle, her fingers shivering so bad she almost dropped it five times in one-minute.

Thorin and Naji's fighting forms were getting achingly close to a window. Oh, crap. Rue whirled past two men who were toasting drinks to each other, gulping down the alcohol in one swig. They were certainly enjoying seeing Thorin kick Naji's ass. Her out-of-control hair brushed past several other men standing by their tables, who were making bets on how long it would take Thorin to knock Naji out. Rue thought fifty seconds. Naji was going down like a mothafo that had talked too much trash on the Southside of Stockton, and then had been introduced to the legit gangsters.

Naji pushed Thorin toward the window ledge, Thorin losing his footing briefly before straightening his stance. A yell tore its way from Naji's throat as he bum rushed Thorin. The Dwarf growled, sidestepping Naji. An ear-splitting shatter ripped through the tavern. Naji crashed through the window, Thorin shoving the rest of his limp form outside.

Dori, Nori, and Ori raced to Thorin's side, but not before the owner of the Prancing Pony met Thorin, screaming in his face.

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE JUST DONE?" Rue had never seen the owner this mad before.

Thorin roared, the first time she'd ever heard his voice a shock. It was gruff, bitter, and full of pain.

"WHAT I HAVE DONE? MAYBE YOUR FILTHY KIN SHOULD NOT SPEAK ON MATTERS THEY KNOW NOTHING OF!" He was animalistic, yelling in the owner's face. Rue waited for Thorin to punch him, too.

Dori's jaw was open. Nori was nodding in approval, jerking a thumb toward the broken window, guffawing as Naji's beaten body stirred in the mud outside. Ori was open-mouthed, watching Thorin in awe.

"Wait! Don't yell at him!" Rue squealed desperately. She jumped in front of the Dwarves, wailing her arms around like she was going to do the windmill.

"Oh, so now we hear from the woman who caused such disaster in the first place?" The owner snarled.

The Men in the tavern were laughing in uproar, elbowing each other like it was the funniest thing ever.

Rue blinked, trying not to cry again. The owner was right. It was her fault, for crying and not going upstairs to her room to avoid Naji, but―but―she wanted to go home, so desperate that she was willing to hang out with an asshole.

"Please leave the Dwarves alone?" she said frantically. "They didn't do anything."

Thorin puffed out his chest, stepping in front of Rue, out of what she suspected to be too much pride.

"Naji is the son of the Master of Bree, Ruby," the owner snapped, using Rue's full name. She only had introduced herself as Ruby the first day she got here, but had been Rue from then on.

"I―I know," she said pathetically, "I just―I will work longer hours to pay for the broken window. I pinkie swear."

The owner looked at her quizzically, Thorin opening his mouth to say something.

In a flash, a sickening crunch resounded as Naji came back from the dead, his arm shooting through the window, a piece of medieval pipe in hand. He slammed the pipe over the back of Thorin's head, the Dwarf stumbling forward. Rue gasped, throwing her candle at Naji, the lit tip striking Naji in the face. He screamed, slapping his face in horror, falling on his butt in the mud outside.

Thorin blinked wearily for a few passing seconds before falling backwards, eyes rolling in the back of his head. Blood matted his wavy dark locks, pouring from the gash on the back of his skull. Nori and Dori caught Thorin, settling him down on the floor. The Prancing Pony was in pandemonium as some Men argued, others rushing forward to help Thorin, while some yelled at Naji or offered him congrats for knocking out Thorin Oakenshield. Pricks. Rue was shaking, kneeling down, glancing at Ori as he hopped over the window ledge, running crazily toward Naji with a slingshot in hand. Rue couldn't help but wonder how people ended up with the last name Oakenshield. It reminded her of Harry Potter last names: Lestrange, Snape, Longbottom, Lovegood. All she could think was, "I hope Thorin Oakenshield isn't dead from a bar fight that was…my fault." In her panic, she touched Thorin's chest, searching for a heartbeat. Moments later, she found one, grinning humorlessly.

"It will take a whole lot more to kill a Dwarf, especially one from the line of Durin," Dori said quietly.

She peered at Dori in the eye for a long moment, his stare sullen.

"Uh―well, even if he wasn't from the line of Durin, Thorin looks tough enough to be A-Okay," Rue spoke lamely.

"What are we going to do now?" The owner yelled at Rue, nearly yanking out his patches of gray hair. "When the Master of Bree arrives, he will toss the Dwarf out of town for what he has done to Naji. And the Dwarf is passed out. I am above throwing out a man who needs healing for his injuries."

"Toss him out and you will regret it," Dori snarled dangerously. His expression was deadly serious.

"Then what do we do?" The owner snapped, bulbous nose red.

They were all silent, contemplating what the hell to do.

Rue then stood up, declaring, "He can stay in my bed for the night, uh, I'll―" She gulped, saying her next words out of guilt― "tell the Master of Bree that I beat up Naji." Like anyone would believe it, but it was worth a shot. She'd seen some ninety-pound ladies whoop 200 hundred pound guys before. Rue wasn't ninety-pounds, not even close to that, but maybe she'd play up her "blackout rage" side to get the Master of Bree to believe her.

The owner nodded, eyes going up his forehead. "That is inappropriate, Ruby, for a man to stay in your room. And you will be banished if that is what you choose to say."

"It's okay, I got other plans." Rue smiled toothily like she always did when she was so afraid, she didn't think things could get any worse. She would go to the Shire once she got kicked out of here, hang out with the short people, and search for Frodo. Yep, that plan sounded tons better than being Naji's lapdog.

Author's Note: So what does everyone think? This is obviously right before the quest and I didn't want to do the whole Thorin-is-visiting-Gandalf-in-the-Prancing-Pony scene because it's been done before lots of times. So instead, he was visiting the awesome Ri brothers :) Oohh, I know this is kind of random, but I was in a twitter pitch party and got a request from an agent. Squee! Twitter pitch parties are #Pitmad, the opportunity to tweet out your pitches to lurking agents for those who don't know. Ahh, I'm just so happy. Anyway, please review, favorite, alert, PM, do what you must. I'm up for concrit, too. As a writer, you always learn something somewhere.