That was the most heart wrenching finale I've seen in a while. Kudos to the actors throughout both 4x12 & 4x13, brilliant work and the writers. I still haven't recovered but I needed to write this. So much stuff going on during that finale. Marlo I just want to give you a big hug, the scene in the locker broke my heart and Nick he's such a great guy. I cannot wait until next season! But a whole year to wait NO! I had read an interview with an EP of the show saying that they hadn't wanted a definitive answer on the Andy/Sam/Nick thing and I really believe that is the case. Both camps can see hope. But this is one way (of many) my mind was working. Oh and I don't own this show.

You're My Story

Standing there watching him lie on that table, she felt so helpless, so scared. How had it come to this? Why did he always have to be the tough guy? Why him?

She couldn't lose him.

"M'am? M'am? Officer?"

Glancing away from the incomprehensible scene before her, she faced a nurse, not bothering to hide the tears falling down her face.

"I'm sorry officer, but I need you to step outside now."

"He…I..." she faltered, her tears not stopping now. Feeling the nurse lightly grip her right arm, she walked numbly out, sinking to the floor next to the door.

"Just stay here, I will let you know anything as soon as we know. Okay?"

Nodding slightly, she pulled her knees tightly to her chest, rocking ever so gently back and forth, focusing on the sounds coming from Sam's room.

"He's stabilised."

"I need more gauze."

She zoned out, she couldn't do it, she couldn't listen anymore, instead focused her thoughts on the man lying on the table.

They had a complicated relationship. It most definitely wasn't the best start but there had been something there. She'd tried to deny it at first but who was she kidding there was always something there bringing them together. It was an undeniable force of attraction.

He'd hurt her so much over the past year; he'd broken her heart and broken her spirit. Ending things with her, his unexpected relationship with Marlo, making her compromise everything she stood for as a person and a cop. She was angry with him but right now she was more angry at who he was.

He was the guy who didn't play by the rules. He was the guy who showed no emotions, was always the tough guy, the cowboy living dangerously on the edge. But he was the guy who would do anything, even die, for his friends. He was the guy who loved with everything he had and would always fight for and protect those he cared about.

She was angry, angry because he was lying on a surgeon's table with gun shot wounds because he had done what was second nature to him- protect his family, protect her and now she couldn't protect him.

Sam had always been an enigma to her but one thing was stunningly clear- he was her story. She loved him.

"Excuse me officer?" Looking up she found herself staring at the nurse. "We're moving your partner into recovery now."

Scrambling to her feet she quickly wiped her eyes, "May I see him? Please I, I need to see him."

Smiling gently the nurse nodded, "Follow me", before turning to walk down a white, sterile corridor.

Walking blindly behind the woman, she found herself nearly tripping over her feet as they came to stop outside a hospital room.

Entering the room, she found herself confronted with tubes and wires and beeping machines and Sam lying amongst it all.

He looked so fragile, so small. Swallowing thickly she sat down in the chair next to his bed. Gently clasping his cold hand, whispered, "I'll never let you go Sam."

She sat there for what felt like days, waiting for a sign, any sign, that he would wake up. She refused to move until he did.

The others came and went, knowing better than to get her to move, or eat or sleep. None of that mattered right now, all that mattered was Sam.

Eventually the adrenalin had worn off and she felt exhausted, more exhausted than she had felt in a long time. Years of emotion and pain catching up to her in one strong hit. She tried to fight it off but eventually succumbed to a fitful sleep, her dreams plagued with horrors of past, reliving the moments Chloe and Sam were shot, this time both dying in her arms.

"Andy, Andy, it's okay. Wake up, it's only a dream, Andy I've got you."

Waking abruptly, sweat pouring down her face, she struggled to identify the hoarse voice before realising it was Sam. He was awake.

Standing up straight she leant over him, "Shouldn't I be saying that to you?" emotion choking her words as she said it.

With a weak smile, he grabbed her hands squeezing them both affectionately.

"I'm going to get the doctor" turning to leave before feeling Sam tug gently on her right hand.

"Andy" he called.

"Sam, I'll be right back, I promise."

"Andy, I need to say this," stopping to catch his breath, "I meant every word I said. I love you."

Feeling the tears flow again, she walked over to him, sitting down on the bed. "Sssh you need to rest," she said before placing a soft kiss upon his lips.

As she pulled away he placed his hand on her face, gazing softly into her eyes, "Andy, you're my story."

I hope you enjoyed my post season finale ramblings.