Harry Potter and the Bird Club

A/N: Just a bit of fluff for the birds over at the Teachers' Lounge.

The sign on Eeylops Owl Emporium read open, and since the rain was pelting down it looked as good a place as any to get out of the downpour. As he shut the door Harry's eyes adjusted to the dimness and he looked around, hoping the bell on the door wouldn't have been loud enough to attract one of the workers. He didn't really want to buy an owl, just get out of the rain for a bit, but his luck didn't hold.

"May I help you, sir?" An old woman with red spectacles peered at him. "Oh my Merlin, Mr. Potter. Please, come in, come in." She beckoned to him.

With a resigned sigh Harry took a few more steps into the shop, noticing all of the different types of owls in cages that hung from the ceiling. It'd been like this ever since Voldemort was gone, people fawning all over him, trying to give him things. He'd hoped that it would have ended after the first year but now, in the second year, he was really tired of it.

"Are you looking for a new owl, Mr. Potter?" She picked up a cage from one of the counters. "Perhaps a nice..."

"I'm just looking right now, thanks." He gave her one of his 'public' smiles. "And to get out of the rain."

"I understand, understand. Well, take your time, look around. Maybe you'll find one that strikes your fancy. Owls are very particular, you know. Very intelligent. Smarter than my first husband." She cackled. "Take your time."

He watched as she disappeared into a doorway, leaving him alone amongst all the cages. Not knowing what else to do he began walking through the cages. It was very odd, as it seemed that all of the owls turned to stare at him as he made his way through the shop. Even ones that seemed to be asleep, as soon as he was next to them they opened their eyes and stared. Finally, he found himself in one of the corners of the shop, next to an empty cage. After looking further, though, he realized the cage wasn't empty; a nest sat in the middle with several eggs. All the eggs were of different shapes and sizes.

"It's sad, isn't it?"

Harry looked over his shoulder and saw the old woman standing next to him. "Why is it sad?"

"We hoped those eggs would hatch, but they haven't. Old Maisy, she's the owl we put on the eggs that don't hatch. Sometimes she can get 'em to hatch, but she wouldn't even sit on this lot."

"Why don't you get rid of them?"

She smacked him on the arm with the back of her hand. "These are Muggle owl eggs, they take longer. Had one egg in here for years and it hatched just a month ago. It's that female in the cage over there." She pointed to a smallish brown owl in the corner, the only owl in the place that wasn't looking at Harry.

Unable to contain his curiosity Harry walked over to the cage and looked at the owl. It turned its head to look at him and he saw the big eyes in the white face with feathers standing up on its head at the sides. "What kind is she?"

"Ahh..." The woman walked over to him. "She's a long-eared owl. Some folks call 'em horned owls, but me mum, she called 'em hornie hoolets. Never thought she'd hatch, just be like the other orphans in the nest."

As Harry stared at the horned owl the word 'orphans' kept ringing in his ears. He knew what that felt like, all too well. He'd made it and so had the owl. "I'll take her. And the eggs in the nest."

-ooo-

Harry stepped into Grimmauld Place via Floo and stumbled. He quickly turned his body, falling on his side, the owl cage held away from the floor with one hand and the basket containing the nest in the other. He knew that would probably leave a bruise, but he couldn't damage the eggs, especially after all the Galleons it had cost him. He sat the cage on the floor and stood up slowly, basket swaying slightly, until he could set it safely on the sofa.

Once he'd ensured the eggs weren't going anywhere he picked up the owl cage, sat it on the coffee table and opened the door. He expected the owl to fly out but it didn't; instead it slowly stepped out, walked along the edge of the coffee table and then back over to him.

"What shall we name you, girl?"

Suddenly the owl took flight, flapping around the living room, finally landing on a table by the window. Harry watched nervously as the owl went over to a vase and started pulling out roses, snapping them off near the petals and then dropping them off the table.

"Hey, you know what? Never mind. Go ahead." He watched as the owl picked out each and every rose, ignoring the other flowers, and completely emptied the vase. "Guess that'll teach Witch Weekly to put me at the top of their list for available bachelors, eh? How about I call you Rose?" As soon as the words were out of his mouth the owl flew over to him, landing on his shoulder. Feeling her pick softly at his hair Harry laughed. "Rose. It's a good name. Ow!" She pecked him a bit. "Fine, fine, it's a beautiful name."

Rose took flight again, this time landing next to the basket of eggs. She turned, looked at him with her big eyes, and then climbed up and sat on the eggs.

"Oh, well, go right ahead. I don't have any mail to send, anyway." He moved over and sat next to her, petting her softly as she hunkered down over the eggs. "Not like I want to send Ginny a letter, not anymore. She made it pretty clear we're over. So much for that." He took off his glasses and laughed. "Why am I telling you this? Not like you can really understand. Guess it helps, talking."

Rose sat there, looking for all the world as if she was listening. She bobbed her head at certain points, closed and opened her eyes at others, and at one point, when Harry described how she confessed to spending the weekend with Oliver Wood after the Harpies and Puddlemere match, the owl let out a ear-shattering screech.

Harry tried to move Rose, to take the basket somewhere else, but she wouldn't let him. Giving up he went in and fixed an early supper."

-ooo-

The next morning Harry came down the steps in his Auror robes, grabbed some toast and nodded at Kreacher. He was almost in the fireplace when he looked over at Rose's basket and saw something move underneath her. "Did one hatch, Rose?"

She blinked at him and then stood up slightly and moved away from the eggs.

Harry kneeled down and there, nestled amongst the other eggs, was a small, featherless bird. "Oh, what kind of owl are you going to be?"

Then another egg began to move, one of the larger ones. As the shell began to crack a beak made its way through and then Harry couldn't believe his eyes, as he'd seen a small bird like that before, but not in a shell. He'd seen one in ash.

"A phoenix? I didn't know they came from eggs!" He shook his head. "Kreacher, come here, you've got to see this!"

The old house elf stood next to Harry and peered in the basket. "A phoenix and a raven. Very curious, Master Harry."

"That little one's a raven?" Harry pointed to the small, featherless bird. "What about those eggs?"

"Three are owl eggs, but Kreacher does not know what one the little one is, Kreacher does not know."

Almost as if on cue the egg Kreacher had mentioned began to crack. Harry watched with bated breath as the egg finally split into several pieces, a blue claw kicking through the mess, followed by the head of a very small blue snout. Smoke puffed out of the nostrils and Harry sat back in shock. "A dragon? Bloody hell."

Kreacher peered at the little dragon. "Kreacher has not seen a dragon like that before. Kreacher thinks Master should call an expert."

One quick Floo call later and Hagrid sat hunkered over the basket. "Ooooh, Harry, that's something ya don't see everyday. What you got there is a South African Pocket Dragon. Thought they was extinct! Charlie Weasley will be thrilled. What you gonna name the little tyke?" Hagrid extended a finger and the little dragon climbed onto it, looking for the world like an ant on a regular finger. "I'm sure she'll get a bit bigger, but the old books say she'll never get too big for you to fit in yer pocket. How they got their names."

"What about the rest of them? What am I going to do with them?" Harry motioned towards the basket. "Last count it's been a raven, six owls, a phoenix and now a pocket dragon."

"That's an eagle egg." Hagrid pointed a finger towards another egg. "An' that un's a...blimey, Harry, that's a hummingbird egg."

"You gotta help me, Hagrid. I have no idea what I'm doing. And for Merlin's sake, don't say anything to anyone."

Hagrid laughed and slipped the little dragon into Harry's hand. "Ah, Harry, I always knew you'd love the beasties. Always love my class, ya did. Don't worry, won't say a word about your little bird club."

-ooo-

When Harry made his way downstairs the next morning he wondered if any of his little birds would have feathers yet, though he knew he was just being silly. Birds took longer than that to get their feathers. He'd tried to move the little dragon away but Rosie wouldn't let him.

"Good morning, Rosie, how are the little..." He stopped on the bottom step, because in his living room were seven full grown owls, including Rosie, a full grown phoenix, a full grown raven, and a tiny blue dragon. A hummingbird flitted across his vision, hovered, circled around his head and then zipped over and landed next to Rosie. "You've got to be kidding me."

Rosie took off from her spot on the sofa, glided over to Harry and landed on his shoulder. He reached up and stroked her feathers and then she took off again, this time landing on the food bowl that he'd set out earlier. It was empty.

He called Kreacher, explained the situation, and then since he was running late for work he took off, wondering what exactly he'd gotten himself into.

-ooo-

Harry sat at one of the day shift desks, reading over one of the reports on the few Death Eaters still at large, when one of the senior Aurors tapped on his shoulder. "Robards wants you."

Harry sat the file down, marking his place, and made his way over to his boss' office. After knocking on the door it opened wide.

"Potter! Get in here. Sit"

Harry walked in to see Robards waving several pieces of parchment in his hands. He quickly took a seat and looked over at his boss.

"See any connection with these attacks?" He handed Harry the parchment.

Harry began scanning the first parchment. Ginny Weasley had been attacked by a large owl during Harpies practice, causing her to lose control of her broom and fly into the stands. The Healers said she would live but probably would never be able to grow her hair back where the owl had attacked. The second parchment described how Pansy Parkinson had been attacked by an owl, the third parchment described how Draco Malfoy had been attacked...he flipped through the reports. Besides Ginny, Parkinson and Malfoy, other people, all suspected Death Eaters, had been attacked by owls, a raven, and if the report was to be believed, the very Death Eater he'd been reading about had been found with his eyes pecked out. The Auror writing the report thought he'd seen a hummingbird, but couldn't be sure.

"Oh, don't forget this one." Robards slid another parchment across the desk.

Harry couldn't believe it, as Rita Skeeter had been attacked by a phoenix. When she'd tried to get away by turning into her unregistered animagus form the phoenix burst into flames. Initially the Auror found a crispy beetle, but eventually she reverted to her normal form, albeit as crispy as the bug.

"Notice a trend?" Robards leaned across the desk. "All of 'em don't like you very much."

"Not everybody likes me, sir." Harry adjusted his glasses nervously.

"Good. Hope that puts the fear of hell in 'em." He took the parchment away from Harry. "So you don't know anything about this, do you?"

"Uh, no sir."

"Just what I thought. Get outta here."

Harry quickly left the office, wondering what in Merlin's name he was going to do. As he made his way back down the hallway Seamus Finnegan stopped him.

"Harry, did ya hear about Umbridge? Someone finally took care a her. Poisoned."

"Really?" Harry oddly felt relieved. After his 'bird club' had probably done all of the other things, at least they couldn't connect this death to him. Poison wasn't a bird thing. "Fill me in later, Seamus. Gotta go."

The rest of Harry's shift went by in a blur, as he kept thinking about how it was probably his imagination. The birds wouldn't do anything like that. They were just birds, and a dragon, but it was just a pocket dragon.

-ooo-

Kreacher met Harry when he returned home that evening. "The bushy haired crusader is here, Master."

"Hermione." Harry shook his head. "Her name is Hermione."

"She is..." Kreacher struggled for a moment. "...not wearing her ring."

Harry's eyes went a bit wide. "Library?" He took in Kreacher's nod and headed upstairs. He paused at the door, expecting to find her in tears, but that was gone the moment he opened the door and found her sitting in a chair surrounded by...knickers.

"Harry!" She stood up and ran over to him, engulfing him in a hug. "Thank Merlin you're here. I thought I was losing my mind."

"What?" He held her at arm's length. "And why are there knickers all over the place?"

"Oh." She blushed. "They're mine. It was all that bloody bird's fault."

Harry felt his stomach turn. "Bird?"

"An owl. It flew into my bedroom while I was doing laundry this morning, and then other birds flew in, one of them even looked like a phoenix, and they stole all my knickers. They started dropping them every now and then until I watched them fly into your house. You weren't home, obviously, and your wards are nothing to trifle with, so I went home, planning on sending you an owl. And...you won't believe it, Harry. I still can't believe it was real. A tiny little blue dragon, of all things, flew into my window and it spit flames on Ron's engagement band and it, it..it melted!"

"Why weren't you wearing your ring?"

She huffed. "Honestly, Harry, that's what you're focusing on? Not the knicker stealing birds and an impossibly tiny dragon?"

"Well?"

"We called it off. I called it off, actually."

"What happened?"

"Harry?" She reached down and picked up pink knickers. "What about these?"

"I think they're cute."

She smacked him with the knickers. "Focus, Harry."

He couldn't help it. He thought of what she would look like wearing only the pink knickers. As he was thinking about her that way Rose flew in and landed on his shoulder.

"That's one of them!" Hermione pointed to Rose.

"Uhm, Hermione, this is Rose. My new owl." Before she could respond the rest of the birds and winged members of Harry's little bird club flew in. The hummingbird flitted around Hermione, zipped up and hovered by her head and then landed on Harry's shoulder. "And they're mine, too."

"What in Merlin's name?" Hermione stood there, mouth open.

Before Harry could respond a tiny little roar came from the window and the blue pocket dragon circled Harry's head before landing on top, nestling in his hair.

"That's the, the..."

"He's a South African pocket dragon. I named him Ed."

"Ed? Ed? You have a pocket dragon, whatever that is, and you've named him Ed?" Hermione stepped forward but something caught her eye. She lifted up a hand towards Rosie on Harry's shoulder and pulled out several long strands of red hair. "Harry, why does your owl..."

He sighed. "You're not going to believe me, but I think it's Ginny's hair."

-ooo-

Luna waved as she saw Hermione walking by the restaurant. For a moment Hermione thought about walking on by, pointing to her watch, but she just couldn't do that, not to Luna. She turned back and walked towards the door, waved off the hostess and made her way to Luna's table.

"Hello, Hermione. It's very exciting isn't it?"

With a nod Hermione sat down. "Yes, it is."

Luna scrunched up her shoulders and then let them relax. "Daddy and I knew that the pocket dragons weren't extinct, just hiding. They prefer to eat baby Nargles, you know."

"Oh. Yes. It is exciting. Ed's quite the little character." Hermione waved at the waitress and ordered some tea.

"That's not what you're excited about, is it?" Luna tilted her head. "You're excited about Harry, aren't you?"

"Well, yes. It did take me by surprise. I never expected to find out those things, especially not surrounded by birds and most of my knickers." Hermione put her hand to her mouth for a moment. "Forget that last part, please."

"Birds, that reminds me. I saw Ronald and Lavender the other day. There were several big owls chasing them into a shop."

"Really?" Hermione leaned forward. "What else do you know?"

"That pocket dragons can be poisonous, but only when protecting their masters. Will you ask Harry if I could have a dragon egg if his dragon lays?"

"Well, his little dragon is named Ed, but you'll be the first to know, Luna." She looked at her watch. "I'm sorry, but I must go. You don't mind about the tea, do you?"

After Luna said it was quite all right Hermione made her way into Eeylops Owl Emporium. Fifteen minutes later she exited with a large bag of the highest quality owl treats and a small basket with several different sizes and shapes of eggs.