This was a mistake.

You saw him, just standing there, leaning against the weird troll-house, and you couldn't help yourself. He looked like an asshole, but once he started talking you realized that he was sort of funny and, long story short, now you were lying in a bed - a human bed, which was weird, you'd heard that trolls used something different - totally naked with the troll snuggling up against you, clutching you with his head on your chest and his horns nearly spearing you in the jaw.

Yeah, you didn't really expect your death to be going like this.

You shift and he makes a weird little noise, tightening his grip and pushing his face into your skin. You're a little worried about his razor-sharp teeth, but he doesn't look like he's having a nightmare or anything, so you should be fine.

After a few more minutes of you just lying there, wondering when the hell he's going to wake up, he finally does. He yawns and his eyes flicker open. He stiffens, using his hands to push himself away from you. He gets tangled in the blankets and falls off of the bed. You smirk and locate your shades - you're lucky they're not broken, they've somehow gotten wedged between the wall and the mattress and are bending dangerously.

"That wasn't a... shit," he says.

"Nope," you say, and you wonder how it happened in the first place. You're way too fucking awkward to make a move on someone in a timely and straightforward manner and he's way too fucking awkward to help from hitting on everything that moves. Maybe that's how it happened. Yeah, from what you remember that's pretty much what happened. He started hitting on you and when you went with it he got kind of freaked out but kept going with it and you kept going with it and next thing you knew you were both naked and doing things that were really weird with what he had down there. It was interesting, though. Your first time, and definitely his.

"D-dirk?" he says, cautiously, and you remember that he's still sitting on the floor, the towel wrapped around him from just above the waist down, sort of tangled in his gills. "I uh."

He's trying to regain his confidence and he's not doing so hot. You scoot off of the bed and untangle him. He's blushing purple. It's really weird but also sort of hot.

"Yeah, Ampora?" you ask. He swallows and tries to stand up, but he's a little weak-kneed. A little nervous. You can see where his eyes are and you try to pretend it doesn't make you a little uncomfortable.

"Cronus," he says. "Call me Cronus. Just because you're - well, all humans have that blood color, so I guess I couldn't call you a mutant - I mean, fuck, this..."

"You're not used to hitting on people this early?" you suggest, and he manages to find his feet. He's still blushing, though you can tell he's sort of mad now. He gets offended extremely easily, you realize as you pick up your clothes. They're not your god tier outfit, thank God - back to your normal clothes. You put on your underwear and decide that that's enough. He's grabbing things and glancing in a mirror, swearing a little under his breath. "What's your problem?"

He ignores you and finishes picking out his clothes. His back is to you, and you admire his ass for a little bit before he leaves the room. You get dressed, even though you'd really like a shower right about now. Sounds like he's taking one - how rude of him, not even offering his guest the shower first. You bet he takes all the hot water.

You wait almost forever before breaking into the bathroom. He's standing in front of the mirror in his underwear and t-shirt, carefully greasing back his hair. What the fuck. When he sees you in the mirror he jumps. You wonder if last night meant anything or if he was just looking for someone to fuck. You decide to find out, because, seriously, you wouldn't mind meeting up again but if he isn't looking for anything permanent you understand that too, really, you're just super-lonely and want someone, anyone.

You wrap your arms around his waist and rest your head on his shoulder. He's blushing a little, but he's trying to ignore you, finishing up on his hair. Once he's done he wriggles out of your grip and turns to face you. You kiss him on the mouth. He kisses you back, enthusiastically, yeah, but you can tell he's not really sure what he's doing. It has to be uncomfortable for him, pressed against the sink. He's not complaining, though. At least his shirt disappeared somewhere in there, messing up his just greased hair. You run your fingers over his gills and he shivers. You learned last night that those were very sensitive, and that you had to be very gentle with them.

He flicks your shades off, which you hate, because you really hate seeing blank eyes in the mirror. You need to get away from the mirror. You pull him by the waist back into his bedroom and push him onto the bed. He goes readily enough and you kiss him everywhere, starting at his mouth and moving down, neck, collarbone, gills, hips, and then you push his underwear down. One thin-fingered hand pulls yours off as well. He grins up at you and you kiss him on the mouth again. His bulge, his weird, tentacle, alien bulge is writhing and slipping toward your dick. It has a weird, yet hot, habit of finding its way to your dick and slipping around it. It's flexible, and slimy, and alien, and you love it.

You kiss him on the mouth again, harder this time, slipping your tongue into his mouth. He has to be careful, what with the razor-sharp teeth and all, but he does great work with his tongue. His bulge is doing its own thing down there while you have one of the best kisses of your life. His fingernails are digging into your back, drawing blood, and you move your mouth down to his gills, trailing your tongue over them and loving the feel of him shivering underneath you.

You put one hand down there to find his nook. It was a weird concept, but you've realized that you like it. You untangle his bulge from your dick and push your way into him. He moans, and his fingernails dig even deeper into your back. You've learned that Cronus Ampora is almost always sticky down there, and you're not sure if this is a troll thing or a Cronus thing, but either way, you like it.

You like it, and you're going to try to keep Cronus for as long as you can.

it's like all i can write anymore is mindless crodirk smut this is what my life has come to

anyway yeah dirk died somehow don't ask me he was doing something heroic or something i dunno