summary: congratulations, it's 2 am and you're covered in glitter and what you're pretty sure is tequila bottles. you're headed places, kid.

dedication: "the pain, leigh. i can't handle it!" "oh honey, i'm watching porn but now you're making me sad."

notes: this is a very random collection of, well, word-vomit (because it is too long and somewhat structured to call them drabbles, but too nonsensical and linked to call them one-shots) all based around the same universe. which is, by the way, all inspired by TFLN's. have fun!

ps: (also, the pairings are in no particular order.)

pss: i'm editing this because i put it in the second chapter, but thought it prominent to put it here too. i change the pairings for each chapter since it is multi-pairing and the pairing system here is stupid.

pairings: naruhina, sasusaku, kibaino, nejiten, suikar & of course the ultimate broships.

chapter o1:

(925)

frankly, since i met you, i practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex.

It was Girl Night. Well, ok, it was supposed to be Girl Night.

Sakura (stupid bitch) had gotten a page saying they needed her at the hospital. She was a fucking intern! Who needs the intern at the hospital in times of crisis? Fuck.

Hinata (sweet, sweet, dear baby she could never be mad at) and Tenten (stupid bitch) had a stupid family dinner that they had to go to that they "absolutely" could not get out of. And Tenten only had to go because she was dating the absolute prick Neji. How she had gained control of the boy was beyond Ino's imagination.

Karin (stupid bitch) had just kind of said fuck you and decided that getting laid tonight was more important than hanging out with her. How dare she, right? She was obviously more important than dick, ok.

So here Ino was, curled up on her couch, cradling a bottle of beer and watching Pretty Little Liars in her boyfriend's T-shirt and sexy panties that she really had only put on to flaunt to her friends. But they weren't here. Because they were assholes.

to: Sak, Tenny, Kar, Hina
from: Ino
you are all assholes, and i hate you. bet you wish you were here with me and my 24-pack of corona. bitches ain't shit.

They all sent her a collective text of a resounding "shut the fuck up, Ino" and with that, she promptly resisted the urge to throw her phone across the room. These dumb bitches and their stupid responsibilities that interfered with the sacred Girl Night.

She heard the mechanical unlocking of the apartment door and immediately took another swig of her beer in celebration. Hell yes, her boy was home, and now she could totally rub in all the girl's faces the amazing sex they had while they were off doing stuff that wasn't Girl's Night.

"Ki-baaaa," she sings, giggly and open-mouthed. And she wasn't even drunk yet.

He raises an eyebrow at her as he closes the door behind him, smirking that smirky-smirk of his that she loved. "I thought it was Girl's Night?"

"They all ditched me," she pouts, drinking another mouthful of beer. "They all had stuff to do that was more important than getting drunk and talking about our sex lives. They're so mean."

Kiba laughs and plops down on the couch next to her, curling an arm around her shoulder. He kisses her neck once and steals her bottle while she's distracted, taking a long drink from it. She smacks his arm.

"Get your own, asshole!"

He grins, holding the bottle with his other arm directly out of her reach, and kisses her when she leans over to try to grab it back from him. He tastes like buffalo wings (while they were supposed to have Girl's Night, they had Guy's Night at a bar — it was football season, duh) and Corona, and she loves it. She kisses him back, wrapping her outstretched arms around his shoulders, fingers idly playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

He pulls apart for one more drink, before handing the bottle to her. She gulps down a good fifth of the bottle before setting it on the coffee table and leaning into him with a kiss.

Kiba's hands are warm as they encase her, sneaking in under her shirt — his shirt — and trailing his fingers (rough from work, but God, did she love them) at the place where her panties meet her hips. He raises an eyebrow as he traces along the lace.

"Sexy panties for a Girl's Night?" he asks, grinning, kissing her jaw. "Is there something you want to tell me?"

"Lingerie is now the only way we can compete these days, Kiba," she murmurs, tugging on his shirt. "Off. Now."

He complies, pulling away from her — and she shivers as his warmth leaves her torso — to pull off his shirt, tossing it somewhere behind him. Neither of them really care.

And they're kissing again, his hands warm on her thighs and her nails sharp on his back. They both like it rough, and as he suddenly kneads her ass cheek she moans sharply. He pushes her onto her back on the couch and her legs immediately wrap around his hips.

Ino stares up at him with long, fluttery eyelashes and the smile of a vixen.

"Guess you weren't expecting sex tonight, were you?" she murmurs against his lips.

Kiba shakes his head, laughing. "Frankly, since I met you, I exist in practically a constant state of readiness for sex."

She pouts. "Am I that bad?"

"Yeah." But then he kisses her, long and hard, biting her lower lip hard enough to make her squeak. "But then again, so am I."

And this was why she was going to marry him.