Ne me
quitte pas
Il faut oublier
Tout peut s'oublier
Qui s'enfuit déj
Oublier le temps
Des malentendus
Et le temps perdu
A savoir comment
Oublier ces heures
Qui tuaient parfois
A coups de pourquoi
Le coeur du bonheur
Do not leave me
It is necessary to forget
All can be forgotten
Who flees already
To forget time
Misunderstandings
And wasted time
Namely how
To forget these hours
Who killed sometimes
With blows of why
The heart of happiness
"We're going to need some suction here."
"Yes, doctor."
"How's she doin', doc?"
"Faye-Faye! Wakie, wakie, Edward wants to play!"
"She can't hear you, Ed. She's dying…right, doc?"
"Spike! Shut the hell up!"
"I'm just telling her the truth – "
"Nurse, who let these people in here?! Get them out!"
"Yes, doctor."
"Faye-Faye, don't die…"
"Get your fucking hands off me."
"Calm down, Spike. It's alright, we're leaving."
"Faye-Faye. Faye! Faye!"
When Faye opened her eyes, she felt all the pain she hadn't after being run through with Vicious' sword. A sunburst of agony lit her limbs on fire, causing her to release a short moan and squeeze her eyes shut again.
"So you're awake." Faye rolled her head slightly and peered out of the corners of her eyes. Spike sat on the edge of the coffee table, his long legs stretched out as he rolled an unlit cigarette between his thumb and forefinger. Faye studied him silently. "You were out for almost four days. I was beginning to worry." This elicited a soft snort of disbelief from Faye. Spike looked at her through narrowed eyes, setting his cigarette on table. "Why did you do that, Faye?" Faye licked her lips and swallowed.
"I just find it hard to believe that Spike Spiegel was actually worried about someone besides himself – "
"That's not what I meant," he interrupted, giving her a hard stare. Faye turned her head away and stared at the yellow couch cushions.
"I'm tired," she said dully. "Leave me alone." She heard a rustling sound, and long, cool fingers slipped under her chin and pulled her face back.
"No." His lean, angled form hovered over her, mismatched eyes shadowed by his unruly tangle of hair.
"You're so selfish." Faye trembled under the weight of her words. "You never think about anybody but yourself."
"And who else should I think about?" Faye flinched and tried to pull away, causing Spike to tighten his grip. "Faye…"
"That's right," she whispered. "Now that Julia's dead – " Spike released her suddenly, as though her skin burned his touch.
"Fuck, Faye!" She closed her eyes, her mouth curving in a bitter smile.
"You've already done that, Spike." Faye listened as his angry footsteps faded into the distance. A moment later, stale cigarette smoke wafted into the room.
Ne me quitte pas
Je ne vais plus pleurer
Je ne vais plus parler
Je me cacherai l
A te regarder
Danser et sourire
Et à t'écouter
Chanter et puis rire
Laisse-moi devenir
L'ombre de ton ombre
L'ombre de ta main
L'ombre de ton chien
Ne me quitte pas
Ne me quitte pas
Ne me quitte pas
Ne me quitte pas.
Do not leave me
I will not cry anymore
I will not speak anymore
I will hide there
With you to look at
To dance and smile
And to listen to you
To sing and then to laugh
Let me become
Shade of your shade
Shade of your hand
Shade of your dog
Do not leave me
Do not leave me
Do not leave me
Do not leave me.
Faye spent the next two days on the couch. On the second day, she got up to take a shower and changed into a white tank top and cotton shorts, but then she returned to her position on the couch. No one tried to make her move. And she felt vindictive satisfaction in stealing Spike's favorite sleeping spot.
Edward pranced around, showing her deliciously big bounty heads, or explaining a tricky hacking job Jet asked her to do, or asking to paint Faye's nails. Faye feigned interest and declined the nail polish. She occasionally engaged in staring contests with Ein, which she always won.
Jet fixed her special dinners, giving her choice pieces and arranging the food in a cutesy, artistic fashion. Faye ate a few bites while he watched, but gave the rest to Ed or Ein after he left. Jet took great pride in his dishes and Faye didn't want to hurt his feelings. She often wondered why she should care, but kept up the act anyway.
Spike was always off chasing bounties. He avoiding the living room at all costs, and that suited Faye just fine.
One night, Faye had a peculiar dream. She dreamed that Julia was still alive, and that Spike left the Bebop to chase after her. Faye tried to stop him, but he slipped out of her fingers like a shadow, saying, "I love her." The Bebop melted away and Faye found herself sitting in a dark room, Spike's arms looped around her waist and his head buried in her hair. She pushed him away, but he only clung tighter. "Julia," he whispered, over and over. Faye looked down and watched her hair grow longer and lighten into gold. And suddenly, she was floating in midair. Faye opened her eyes and found herself wrapped tightly in someone's arms, being carried away from the couch.
"Spike." She lifted her head a fraction and saw his lips tighten as he stared straight ahead.
"You were talking," he told her. "You said 'Julia.'"
"Julia," Faye repeated.
"And," he looked down at her, "you were crying." Faye touched her fingers to her face and felt wetness.
"It was just a dream." They reached her room and Spike set her on the bed gently. Faye turned her back to him and waited for him to leave. She heard two heavy thuds and turned to see Spike removing his shoes and jacket. "What are you doing?" He didn't answer, but approached the bed with heavy eyes as he unbuttoned his shirt and lowered his weight on top of her. She twisted her head to the side, biting her lip. "Spike…" He brushed her hair back and pressed his lips against her jaw and throat. Faye felt tears fill her eyes and she bit her lip hard enough to draw blood. "You make me feel worthless," she whispered brokenly. He stopped then, his face inches from hers as he fiddled with strands of her hair.
"Do you love me, Faye?"
"No."
"I don't believe you." He slipped his hands under her shirt.
"I won't!" Faye gasped, pushing against his shoulders.
"Do you think I hate you, Faye?"
"Yes," she sobbed.
"I do," he responded fiercely, groaning as he captured her lips in a rough kiss. "I hate that I'm attracted to you." He leaned over and bit her earlobe gently. "I hate that you keep risking your life to protect mine. But mostly," he paused in his ministrations to stare at her intensely. "I hate that you make me forget all about Julia." Faye wept and Spike watched her silently, wiping away her tears with slender fingers. Afterwards, she felt spent and empty.
"I don't think I trust you," she said. Spike smiled, apprehension darkening his eyes.
"That's probably best," he agreed.
"Do you want me, Spike?" Faye whispered.
"I already told you that I do," he responded evenly, ignoring the flame of desire that passed through his body. Faye lowered her eyes.
"Take me. And then leave."
"I won't leave."
"Bullshit," Faye growled, her eyes flashing.
"Faye. You asked me not to, remember?"
*
"Take me with you. Don't leave me."
*
"I was afraid," she said simply.
"So was I," he admitted hoarsely, his jaw clenched.
"Now you suddenly want to be with me?" Faye asked, fighting the urge to laugh hysterically. Spike tilted his head and glanced at her sidewise.
"It's not so sudden."
"And…Julia?"
"Julia's dead."
"Am I your consolation prize?" Faye asked sarcastically.
"Am I yours?" Spike challenged. The two of them eyed each other warily. Faye sighed.
"This won't be easy."
"No." Spike lowered his head and covered her lips with his own. This time Faye responded, feeling the despair lift from her shoulders.
"Fucking kids," Jet growled as he passed by the open door.
"Oooh, what are Spike-person and Faye-Faye doing?" Ed asked curiously, pausing to stare with Tomato situated on her head and Ein at her heels. Jet grabbed her by the arm and dragged her away.
"Come on, Ed. You can help trim my Bonsais."
"Snip-snip, Bonsai!" Ed hollered from a distance. Faye gazed up at Spike.
"I guess it's official now."
"I guess so."
He smiled, and for once, his eyes smiled too.
Eeek! I don't know what to do with myself…I finally finished it! Let me know what you think – did I leave any loose ends? Was the ending too corny? Or too abrupt? It's not too late to make adjustments!
Lyrics: first and last stanza of "Ne Me Quitte Pas" followed by the translated version for those of us who do not speak Francais (Francaise? Francoiseymemf…point taken). I've heard several versions of this song, but my favorite has to be the one sung by Nina Simone. If you haven't heard it, I suggest downloading. It's truly beautiful.
I know it's over so you have no incentive to review, but please do anyway. I'll give you a candy bar…