A/N: The setting is University of Illinois Champaign. I forgot to mention that in the story. And this chapter is a lot longer than the others and quite a bit more triggering. Just a fair warning.

Vriska was pacing her room again. It was a week after the day Gamzee had gotten sober. As much as she liked Tavros, she still wasn't happy. She had another date that night, but she wasn't sure she could go. She paced faster. Even manipulating someone couldn't make her feel better anymore. She had to wait until Feferi left. She ignored the clock, not noticing that Tavros was supposed to meet her here in just thirty minutes.

Feferi left for her late class fifteen minutes later. Vriska entered the bathroom, hopefully for the last time. She opened the medicine cabinet, memorizing every detail of her last moments. She spent ten minutes just memorizing things, the precise shape of her room and every object in it. She memorized the color of her walls and the writing on each of her books. She memorized everyone's typing colors, even Terezi's. She finally just stared at her own face in the mirror. Her own, despicable face. She winced just looking at herself. She memorized her own image. She pulled out the bottle of pills and looked at it hard, trying to make up her mind. She sighed. Time to end it.

Vriska struggled to open the bottle. She fiddled with the childproof top until finally, finally it came off. She looked into the bottle. There were about forty pills there. She was scared. She gulped nervously and took all forty pills dry. She immediately felt woozy. She tried to walk, but she couldn't. The pill bottle dropped out of her hand and hit the floor with a strangely distorted sound. She stumbled over her own two feet. Just before she lost consciousness, she thought she heard the doorbell ring.

When Vriska didn't answer the doorbell twice, Tavros tried to open the door. It was locked. He shook the door until the flimsy lock broke and it opened. He called Vriska's name. No response, except…was that a moan?

Tavros was by Vriska's side in a second. He saw the empty bottle of pills on the floor and immediately knew what had happened. He slapped her face, shouting, "VRISKA! WAKE UP!" Vriska's head lolled to the side. Tavros panicked. He grabbed her phone and dialed 9-1-1. "Yes? Someone? An ambulance, now! She's had, I don't know, a lot of pills and she's really done it and she's going to die please get here now…JUST GET OVER HERE!"

Tavros suddenly forgot everything he'd ever learned about what to do in this sort of situation. But then he remembered. His panicked mind scrambled through the options. CPR? Rescue breaths? Just wait? Heimlich maneuver? He settled on CPR. He counted out five chest compressions (or whatever they were called) and two rescue breaths. Five, two. Five, two. Five, two, five, two, five two five two fivetwofivetwofivetwo….

It felt like an eternity before he heard a tiny heartbeat. Nothing much, just a dogged, slow pulse, struggling against the poison in her system. Tavros kept going. He knew that if he stopped, Vriska would die. Why had she done that? Why? he asked himself. What had happened to her?

It was another eternity before the ambulance arrived. They loaded Vriska in quickly and immediately asked Tavros what was wrong. He could barely answer their questions.

"I rang the doorbell and she was supposed to meet me so I broke down the door and, well, no I didn't break down the door, but then I came in and she was just there, but I heard her moan and I saw the pills and I, well I still am, freaked out and I did CPR because isn't that what you're supposed to do well I called 9-1-1 first and then I did CPR and then she actually did it well I didn't know it was that bad when her uncle and then her sister and—" Tavros tried to explain before the EMT cut him off.

"Okay, how about we talk to you later," she said, unaware that he always talked like that. "You saved her life. She would've died if you hadn't called when you did. And the CPR was very smart of you."

"T-t-thanks," Tavros stammered, awed. He'd saved her life, like she'd saved his. He was still in shock when he got home. It was good that Eridan had been looking a lot less scary lately. Tavros supposed he wouldn't be attempting any more killings, at least not for a while. Now that he had Vriska to defend him, and that Eridan knew that someone was bound to find him, it was unlikely he'd do more than glare and growl at Tavros. Tavros was thankful for that.

Vriska woke up in a room that was far too bright. She shifted, but the light still burned. She heard voices. "Did she really…well I don't…lucky she's…I can't believe how…" She struggled to recognize the speakers. Her eyes focused on a nurse and a doctor.

"Where's Tavros?" she mumbled.

"You mean the boy who saved you?" the doctor asked.

Vriska nodded, although she didn't know. Tavros had saved her? But she had wanted to die! Didn't he know that? What had he been thinking? She realized the answer, just as she thought it. He had been afraid that she would die. He didn't want her to die. Vriska was overwhelmed with emotion. No one had ever been afraid to lose her before. Her uncle had always been drunk and he wasn't always around anyways. Her sister, Aranea, must've worried about her, but she'd died so long ago. Vriska habitually fingered the scar on her left shoulder from the last beating before she'd left for college. And then she felt the scars inside her wrists with her thumb, the ones she'd put there herself. She shifted in the bed. "Where is he?" she asked.

"You're not allowed visitors yet," the nurse said. When Vriska looked a bit disappointed, he added, "But you do have a roommate."

The doctor pulled back a curtain. Vriska slowly, slowly turned her head (she was so stiff) to see Nepeta sitting in the next bed with Twilight on her lap. Karkat was sitting near her, on the bed, stroking her hair. He looked…tender. Gentle. Caring. Vriska had never seen him like that, without his emotional defenses up. She'd never seen Nepeta looking so genuinely happy.

Nepeta saw Vriska first. She closed the book, being carful to mark her spot. Karkat turned and saw her, too. He sat back in the chair, making his face opaque again. "Hi, Vriska," Nepeta greeted cheerily. She was obviously embarrassed that Vriska had caught them in this private moment.

Nepeta was surprised to see Vriska there, with no bruises or cuts or cast or anything. What was up with her? Nepeta knew that Tavros and Vriska were happy together. But she didn't know much else. Nepeta ran through the options in her head. No attack, obviously, and no fight. Sickness? Maybe. Psychological problem? Could be, but also some sort of physical problem, because she was in this ward. Finally, Nepeta considered the unthinkable. Suicide? It was possible. Nepeta noticed Vriska's arms. There were rows of scars up and down the insides of her wrists. "Oh, my…" Nepeta whispered to herself. She reached out and touched Karkat's arm, as if to make sure he was still there. Her instinct was to hug Vriska, but she was sure that Vriska wouldn't respond very well. As much as Vriska was manipulative and mean sometimes, Nepeta did not want her to die. Everyone deserved to live. Nepeta didn't want Vriska to die any more than she wanted Karkat to die.

Vriska felt almost…jealous? She wanted someone she'd be willing to read awful cliché romance for. Someone who would play with her hair. Someone who would kiss her gently good night, as Karkat did when visiting hours ended. Someone…well, someone like Tavros. Vriska had been willing to watch his ridiculous movies and read his silly fantasy books, and he'd been willing to read her apocalypse novels and watch 2012. On their last date, when they'd watched a movie and had pizza at her dorm, she'd laid down with her head in his lap, half asleep, and he'd played with her hair until she fell asleep. She woke up a few minutes later and kissed him goodbye. She turned away from Nepeta. She didn't want to think about Tavros. He'd saved her. Maybe she shouldn't die. Maybe she should keep living. Maybe she shouldn't try to take that bottle of pills again.

Later that night, at around eight o'clock, Nepeta called, "Vriska?"

Vriska mumbled something in return. She didn't want to talk.

"Want to talk?" Nepeta asked timidly.

Vriska shook her head and rolled over to face away. She couldn't let anyone know how crazy her feelings were right then.

Nepeta went over to Vriska, and, despite the knowledge that Vriska would hate it, hugged Vriska. Vriska stiffened, then relaxed. Nepeta hoped that Vriska knew that Nepeta didn't want Vriska to die.

Vriska wondered if her friends didn't really hate her so much. Nepeta obviously cared. Tavros liked her, a lot. None of the others, except Aradia, had ever really said they hated her. Aradia had her reasons, and Vriska hated to admit that she, Aradia, had a pretty good reason to hate Vriska. Well, there was Eridan, but then he hated all the Americans. She almost laughed. Lying here, half-asleep and a bit crazy from whatever drugs they'd given her and the stomach-pumping thing, suddenly that seemed funny. She rolled over again and hoped for sleep.

Nepeta, meanwhile, was worrying about her injuries. If everything had gone fine, she should've been clear to leave the hospital. But they'd said that she had to stay for a little while longer. She might miss a week of classes, maybe more. She'd be confined to bed for at least four days. She wouldn't be allowed to do any physical activity for a few months.

Nepeta loved how Karkat came to visit her for an hour and a half every day, usually more on weekends. He would sit with her and just talk, or watch a movie, or read a book, or watch animé. He would kiss her and stroke her hair. He would be gentle and sweet to her, a side of him she'd never seen. She loved those hours sitting with him, just the two of them. He would kiss her goodbye every time her left. He would tell her, "I love you," every day when he left. Nepeta always said it back, or first. She would lie on her bed with a manga book after he left and read mindlessly, without someone to spiritedly point out the important points or the symbolism or describe the characters in detail. She was a huge otaku, it was true, but animé and manga paled in comparison to reading a book with Karkat. Nepeta rolled over twice, and, finding that facing the door was more comfortable, she fell asleep with one arm around the small plush cat Karkat had given her.

Aradia was tense. She and Sollux were going out that night. She was overjoyed that he didn't hate her for not talking to him, or think that she hated him for that night. But she'd heard whispers about a girl who'd gone to the hospital. She was tall, they said, and had long, black hair. They said that there had been a boy with her, a boy with crutches or something and funny hair. Aradia knew it had to be Vriska. What the hell had happened?

Sollux knocked on the door. "Hold on a sec!" Aradia shouted. The dorm still felt empty without Nepeta constantly running in and out and getting everyone together at the coffeehouse. She shivered, put on her black jacket, and pushed her hair back one more time. They were going to the movies. Aradia had agreed to see one of Sollux's favorite movies, some action thing. Aradia had a thing for sci-fi, but they'd seen a sci-fi movie next time, she already knew.

She opened the door to see Sollux looking slightly awkward, as he always would before their dates, as far into the future as she could feel. Aradia thought that was so cute.

Aradia drove her car to the movie theater. She bought her ticket and waited in line for…she always had this mental debate. Something yummy or something that wouldn't get stuck in her teeth? She decided that one pack of Milk Duds wouldn't matter if he really loved her.

Sollux insisted on paying for their snacks. He was so sweet that way. Even when he backslid and had a period of mania or depression, she liked to know that he tried to stay balanced for her. She would always find him immediately whenever he was suddenly manic or depressed and texted her. He was getting better. Aradia loved that about him, the fact that he worked to get better, and she loved that she was the reason. Sollux's mom used to get him some form of treatment, but he'd really gotten better now that he was trying. She could see his entire future in her dreams like a river, one that had just merged with her river of future.

They took seats in the back of the theater. As usual, Aradia loudly made fun of the previews and Sollux laughed. When the movie started, they quieted down. It was basically one of those stereotypical action movies with a sort-of plot, a hero, a love interest, a villain, and some sort of spy organization. Aradia actually didn't mind it so much.

They held hands for the whole movie. Aradia was so happy. It was nice to be with Sollux and forget all the craziness of school and friends and the possibility that Vriska had just died. But as all things, good and bad, it had to end.

After the movie, Aradia drove Sollux home and kissed him goodbye, gently. He smiled like an idiot, but in a good way. She knew she must have been smiling like that, too. They were always happy on dates.

Aradia drove back to her dorm, parked the car, and went back to her room. She stared at the ceiling, just remembering. She didn't want to let the date go so quickly. She knew she wouldn't be doing any homework that night. She just smiled and stared and remembered. She didn't even bother to analyze. Sollux loved her, and she loved him. It was a warm, safe love. No one really knew, except for Nepeta, the same way Aradia had known about Nepeta's crush. Aradia giggled. She sounded crazy.

He computer screen lit up as a chat popped in the screen. It was 11 PM. Who would message her at this time of night?

CG: THEY'RE DOING FUCKING *SURGERY* ON NEPETA

CG: AND SHE'S GOING TO *DIE* IF THEY DON'T DO IT!

AA: Why?

CG: *I DON'T FUCKING KNOW*

CG: MAYBE BECAUSE SHE'S GOING TO *DIE* OTHERWISE!

AA: Really?

CG: *OF COURSE, BITCH!*

AA: I'll be 0ver in a few.

CG: JUST FUCKING *GET HERE*

AA: Alright, bye Karkat

CG: BYE

Aradia texted Equius. She knew he would want to know. She hopped into the car and drove to the hospital.

"What is it?" she asked, as soon as she saw Karkat.

"I don't know! Internal bleeding or some other shitty thing! But it's going to be fucking complicated and she might fucking die!" he shouted. Aradia knew he was afraid. Afraid that Nepeta would die. He loved her so much.

Aradia tried to read a magazine or something, but she was too tense. Tavros must've been with Vriska. Sollux had said he would be with her in a few minutes. Their other friends were sitting here, waiting for Nepeta, or talking with Vriska, like last time, when Eridan and Tavros and Vriska had fought. (Except, of course, with Vriska, Tavros, and Eridan.) Aradia saw Feferi and Terezi in the waiting room with her.

Vriska was surprised that Jade, Rose, John, and Gamzee had joined Tavros, and also that it was around midnight. "What's up?" she asked the group in general.

"Nepeta's gone into surgery. She might die," John stated bluntly.

"Oh," Vriska stated, surprised. She looked over at the other bed in the room. It was empty. There was blood all over the place. What had happened? Why hadn't she heard anything? Must've been the sleeping pill.

She remembered the night they hadn't given her some sort of sleeping pill. She'd stayed awake the whole night, just staring at the walls and thinking, deciding if she should take the pills again when she got home.

Since then, she'd always made sure she had a sleeping pill.

She was afraid of doing that again. She was scared that she would do it again, really take those pills. She had made one resolution, though, the first day they'd let Tavros visit her. She'd decided to get a tattoo on her wrist, something like a flower, something she wouldn't want to mess up. She didn't want to succumb to that again. Now that she had Tavros and her other friends, she was more scared that she'd never get out of the depression than of staying alive for another day.

Nepeta had been scared that night, because she'd been feeling funny all day. Suddenly, she had realized that she couldn't breathe. She'd started coughing blood. She'd slapped the emergency button. The nurses had run in. "What? What is it?" they'd asked. Nepeta had just looked at them pleadingly and coughed up more blood. She'd lost her grip on consciousness. She had started to faint. She'd thought she heard the heart rate monitor go funny.

She had a brief moment of wakefulness waiting to go into surgery. "We're going to operate, Nepeta," the nurse had said. "You're fine. It's just a minor thing. Who do you want us to call?"

"Karkat Vantas," Nepeta had muttered. Now that her aunt was dead, she had no family. "He'll tell the others." She recognized the lie the nurse told her. Minor problems didn't result in surgery.

The nurse looked confused, but he looked up the name and called right before they gave Nepeta the anesthesia. "He'll be here, dear. Now, don't worry, we just have to give you some anesthesia," he said calmingly.

Nepeta felt herself fall asleep, hoping that someone would be there if she woke up.

Karkat panicked. He drove over at seventy miles per hour on a thirty mile per hour road. He nearly crashed at least three times. He didn't care. She was going to fucking die if the surgery didn't go well. As abrasive as he was on the outside, he wanted someone to love. And he loved her. And she was dying. The word pounded in his head. Dying. Dying. Dying. She could die. He couldn't think straight.

He got to the hospital, parked the car badly off center, and ran inside. "Surgery?" he asked a passing nurse. He must've looked pretty crazy, because the nurse said, "Psych-sorry-surgery is that way." Karkat took off, searching for someone to help him find her.

"I'm looking for Nepeta Leijon," he asked to a passing person.

"Friend of yours?" the person asked.

"What's it to you, fuckass? I need to find her, and that's all you need to fucking know!" he yelled, losing his patience.

The person (who must've been a nurse) looked intimidated and scanned his list. "You're in luck. They had time to update the list. She's just over here, in the emergency area. You'll have to wait in this room, though," he said. "And have you seen a redhead with a Scottish accent and a man in a bowtie around here?"

"No. Just fuck off, asshole," Karkat said sullenly. Stupid British ass. He couldn't sit still. He had to take his mind off things. He started telling his friends. They all said they'd come, except Equius, who was in Quebec, Eridan, who was probably ignoring him, and Dave, who was probably asleep. Stupid bitch. Some of them were going to see Vriska, too, who had twice-a-day talks with the therapist or psychologist or whoever that were apparently slowly driving her nuts.

Karkat just couldn't sit still. He paced, slapped the walls, got several drinks of water from the water fountain down the hall, searched for the bathroom, and fidgeted in his chair for what felt like an eternity but was actually just a half hour.

Aradia arrived to see Karkat truly panicking. He was very defensive, so seeing him freak out like this was weird and a little scary. He was full of nervous energy, or something, because he couldn't seem to stop moving. Aradia repeatedly ran her fingers through her long, brown hair that was curly in that way that should've looked pretty but it somehow frizzed and looked terrible.

Kanaya was shocked. She and Rose drove to the hospital, where they'd agreed to split up. Kanaya would wait for Nepeta and Rose would talk with Vriska. Vriska hadn't told anyone why she was in the hospital, except Tavros, and he wasn't telling. Rose had a theory that she'd confided only in Kanaya. "I think she tried to commit suicide," Rose had whispered the Kanaya last night. Kanaya had to agree that her explanation made sense.

Kanaya parked the car next to someone's beater (parked so badly—who was this crazy person? Rude!) and ran in with Rose. She kissed Rose quickly, then set off in search of the surgery ward.

Kanaya found the waiting room to see Karkat pacing, Aradia holding Sollux's hand like it was a lifeline (and Sollux holding hers the same way), Feferi looking scared as she tried to concentrate on a stupid gossip magazine, and Terezi just staring at a wall, as if she could break it if she focused hard enough.

Kanaya took a seat, too, to wait out the long night that was to come.

Vriska thought about Nepeta hugging her the first night here. She thought about Nepeta's slightly bizarre insistence to be nice. She was actually worried that Nepeta might die. She was glad to have her friends here, even if Gamzee was stoned out of his mind (as usual) and wouldn't remember this by morning. Rose wasn't doing her psychoanalyzing thing. Jade didn't look too tense. John looked a little on edge, probably because he'd been Vriska's best friend since Vriska burned bridges with Terezi. Tavros looked worried, too. He always looked faintly worried when he visited her. She knew it was because he loved her and wanted her to be safe. When the others left, Tavros stayed, playing with her long hair and smiling at her.

As the night wore on, people started to go home. People were shooed away. Kanaya had to leave with Rose when Rose was kicked out of Vriska's room. Terezi got kicked out for accidentally hitting a nurse. John, Jade, and Gamzee were kicked out. Tavros managed to stay a bit longer, but they kicked him out, too. Vriska fell asleep without a pill for the first time since that day.

Eventually, Feferi fell asleep and realized she had to go home. Aradia didn't leave until nearly 2 AM, when she fell asleep on Sollux's shoulder. He woke her up, walked her to her car, and drove her home. He walked back to his dorm alone.

Karkat refused to move. Two nurses and Feferi tried to persuade him to get some sleep. He sat in the room, trying to stop himself from drifting off, until he finally fell asleep in his chair.

Karkat's eyes snapped open at seven the next morning. He asked the first nurse he saw, a redhead, "Where the fuck is Nepeta Leijon?"

She checked her clipboard. "Oy, calm down. You're not Scottish. She's just down the hall, room 413," she said, with a strange Scottish accent. She hurried away, towards the British guy from yesterday and a slightly bowlegged weirdo in a bow tie and a fez, to finish some other task.

Karkat found the room, but he couldn't tell if it was a surgery room or a recovery room. He gathered his courage and knocked. A small voice said, "Come in."

Karkat entered the room gingerly. He saw Nepeta sitting on a gurney with one of her ever-present manga books. He immediately hugged her.

"I'm fine, Karkitty," Nepeta said. "They said I'll be out of here in two weeks, or less." But she was crying too.

"I didn't think you'd make it," Karkat whispered in her ear.

"I didn't either," Nepeta confessed to him.

She pressed her lips to his. She needed him, as much as he needed her. And she wanted him to feel better. Karkat held her close. He wanted her to be safe, alive, and happy. He didn't want to let her go. Or, more accurately, he couldn't. Neither of them heard the footsteps that time. The doctor came in and tapped Karkat's shoulder. Karkat jerked away sharply. Nepeta bit her lip uncomfortably and stared at her hands, which were folded in her lap.

Karkat left the room, waving at Nepeta and mouthing, "Love you."

"Love you too," Nepeta mouthed back as the door closed behind him. She winced as the cold metal stethoscope touched her skin.

"I have to listen to your lungs now. Breathe deep," the doctor ordered. Then she added, "Use your diaphragm."

Nepeta tried to breathe normally, despite the adrenalin in her system. The doctor did a normal exam, then had her taken back to her room. Nepeta tried to remember what had happened right after the surgery.

She'd woken up in a gray room this time. Her eyes couldn't focus. She tried to see if she recognized any of the faces around her. None were familiar. They all looked worried, if the wrinkled foreheads and frowns were any indication.

"Hello?" Can you hear me?" A doctor or a nurse or someone asked her.

Nepeta tried to speak, but her mouth was as dry as a desert and her lips wouldn't listen. She ended up just moving her head to the side.

"Can you hear me?" the person, a man, had pressed.

Nepeta managed to nod her head.

"Here's some water. You're lucky you hadn't had anything to eat before the surgery."

Nepeta looked at the cup. She tried to will her hand to pick up the glass. Someone raised the bed so she was sitting. She tried again. This time, she picked up the glass. She managed to take a few sips, too.

Her eyes started to focus. "We'll have a doctor long in a bit to make sure you're absolutely fine," the person said. "Here. It's a book that was in your room." He handed her one of her favorite mangas, Fairy Tail.

"Thanks," she said.

A bit apparently meant a bit less than two hours. Nepeta read her book, trying to make it last. She was still having trouble with motor control. She desperately hoped that was normal.

When Karkat had knocked, she assumed he was the doctor. "Come in," she called.

She was overjoyed to see Karkat. She was so glad to see him, so glad that he was there for her. She put down her manga to talk with him. She would rather talk to Karkat than read manga any day. She was glad that the worry on his face lifted as soon as he saw her.

Even as they conversed later that day, in her room, Nepeta had a slight sense of dread that she couldn't seem to shake. She tried to tell herself it was nothing. It didn't work.

Karkat left at 5:30, like every day. He kissed her goodbye and told her, "I love you."

"I love you too," Nepeta said.

Nepeta was scared when lights-out came that night. She didn't get it. The surgery was over. She was fine. Vriska was fine. Vriska had even been sleeping without the pills more and more often. All her friends were fine. So what was up that was making her so worried?

Nepeta pretty much spent the whole day on high alert. Every odd sounds made her jump. The furnace starting nearly made her slap the emergency call button. The only thing that calmed her down all day was Karkat coming to see her. When she told him how worried she was, he'd stroked her hair and told her it was okay. He told her not to worry, it was just from the surgery. He kissed her goodbye and left.

Karkat was leaving Nepeta again. He hated leaving her alone more every day. She told him that she felt better whenever he was there. He wanted her to feel like that all the time.

Nepeta didn't really know what happened for the next two weeks. Every day was exactly the same: wake up at 8. Bland breakfast. Schoolwork. Bland lunch at noon. Schoolwork and physical therapy. Visit from Karkat from 4 to 5:30, the only bright spot in her bland days. Read until dinner. Bland dinner at 6:30. Read or TV, sometimes computer (if she was lucky). Lights out at 8. Fall asleep. Wake up. Over and over again. The days ran into each other. Nepeta lost all sense of time. Days and hours had no relevance anymore. It was just the same day, over and over.

Vriska went to her shrink twice a day for the next two weeks. Some crazy guy in a bow tie who showed up in a fez once. She thought he must be more nuts than she obviously was. But the craziest thing was, it was helping. Vriska didn't think about that bottle of pills anymore. They told her she'd be able to leave soon. Two weeks after Nepeta's surgery, they told her she could leave if she came back to see the shrink three times a week.

Tavros came to walk her back home. Vriska rolled her eyes and smiled. She was used to being independent, so having someone care for her in a sort of overbearing way was weird, in a good way.

Just as she was leaving, she saw Terezi rush in.

"What's wrong, scourge sis?" Vriska asked.

"Not now, spiderbitch," Terezi replied.

"What's wrong? Lost your little boyfriend?" Vriska taunted.

"Well, you can talk, with that wimp you're walking with," Terezi shot back.

"Oh, is poor Dave going to die?" Vriska teased.

"Do you understand the words, anaphylactic shock? It's a pretty big word for you," Terezi said.

"Oh, nice. He had an allergic reaction to something you gave him. You poisoned your boyfriend!" Vriska laughed. "See ya, slut."

"See ya, spiderbitch," Terezi said. She bit her tongue. Vriska was right. She might as well have poisoned him.

Terezi had gone to Dave's room earlier that day, for breakfast and TV, just the two of them. John had been on some field trip to play piano or violin or something somewhere. She didn't really care. It had been her turn to make breakfast. She'd said, "I'm going to make this drink, it's all red food. It's really good."

"Sure thing, babe," Dave had said, spinning her around and giving her a kiss.

Dave had turned on the TV while Terezi had pulled out everything red in the fridge. With her keen sense of smell, she could tell what was okay to add. Not ketchup, but…she'd felt around and found berries, some milk maybe…

Terezi had dumped everything into the blender. When the mixture had been reduced to a smoothie, she'd poured two glasses and joined Dave on the couch. "Next time, you make breakfast," she'd said to Dave. "I suck at cooking."

He laughed and took a long sip. Terezi started to drink hers, too.

"You have a thing for the color red. Why don't you change your text color to red in the chat program?" Dave had asked her.

"Teal's always been sort of a special color," Terezi had told him.

"Because of Latula?" Dave had asked.

"That was five years ago. I'm over it," Terezi had said. There was a moment of silence. But suddenly, Dave asked, "Terezi? What's in this?" His voice was strained.

"Um, milk, cherries, raspberries, some cherry Garcia ice cream, a waffle because it's morning, so what the hell…" she listed.

"Waffles aren't red!" he'd spluttered. His breaths started coming hard and wheezing.

"Not unless they're soaked in food coloring," Terezi had pointed out.

"What else?" Dave had pressed. Terezi was bewildered.

"Um, a box of strawberries…" she continued, but she couldn't remember anything else. What was wrong with Dave? He looked like he couldn't see straight as his face and hands started to turn red and swell.

"Strawberries!" he gasped, his eyes opening wide. He grabbed his throat. Two words popped into Terezi's head: anaphylactic shock. Allergic reaction. Stopping breathing. "Shit," she'd said. She'd dialed 9-1-1 and told them that someone was having an allergic reaction. Next thing she knew, Dave was in the hospital.

And it was her fault.

She'd put in the strawberries. She'd given him the drink. She'd let him drink it, without telling him what was in it. She'd poisoned her boyfriend. She sat in the waiting room and stared at the wall, as if she could light the whole building on fire just by thinking about it.

They'd told Nepeta she could leave the hospital that afternoon, around 4:30, if she had a clean bill of health. The doctor came around and gave her one last checkup. "You are perfectly healthy. Just come back here for another checkup in a month," the doctor said.

Nepeta put all her stuff in a duffel bag and left the hospital, holding hands with Karkat. The two of them walked to his car and he drove her home. He kissed her goodbye, like he did every day, and they said, "I love you," to each other. Nepeta climbed the stairs slowly to her room. "Hi, Aradia!" she called.

"Nepeta, we have to get back to the hospital!" Aradia shouted. Aradia knew that her sense of dread was building up to something. Feeling the future was so frustrating until whatever it was actually happened.

"What?" Nepeta asked. She did not want to go back there, ever. Then she realized: that sense of dread that had followed her for two weeks. Whatever it was, it was happening.

"Something really bad happened to Dave. He can't breathe. Terezi's absolutely panicked. We have to see if they're all right," Aradia said. She pulled on her red-orange sweatshirt and grabbed the car keys. Nepeta yanked her green overcoat off the coat hook on the wall and followed Aradia, slamming the door behind her.

They let Terezi in the room after a solid hour of begging and whining and insisting. She stared at Dave, willing him to just wake up. She was there for an hour, or two, or maybe a day, or two. She had no idea. All she did know that she was stiff in her hard, plastic chair when he woke up.

"You are never making breakfast again," he croaked.

"You've just woken up from nearly dying, and that's what you say?" Terezi asked. "Nice."

"Only my bro knew about my allergies. How did you know what was up?" Dave asked.

"Latula. She had really bad allergies as a kid. She shoved a peanut up her nose and went into anaphylactic shock when I was five. That's why she could never smell. Our aunt made me learn about it so if it ever happened to Latula again, I could recognize it and get help," Terezi replied. "And then it happened again when I wasn't around," she added, with a hint of bitterness. "It's my fault anyways."

"Well shit, Terezi. If your dear sweet sister hadn't been such a fucking idiot, then I wouldn't be alive today. If John didn't have a brain of shit he wouldn't have bought strawberries in the first place. The motherfucking strawberries must've jumped onto his shopping cart like 'Hey other fruit that Dave's not allergic to, we're gonna be bitches and hijack this cart to make Terezi feel like shit, kay?' And all the other food was scared as fuck and was all, 'Whatever bro, just don't kill us.' But obviously the fucking peanut butter is to blame for all of this bullshit, because it tipped off the strawberries like, 'Hey bro, see that idiot with the glasses over there? His bro is allergic to strawberries.' And then the strawberries were like, 'Oh shit man, we gotta jump the fucking cart.' So TZ, this isn't your fault. Blame the motherfucking peanut butter, 'cause that shit's been out to get you since you were fucking five."

"Are you sure you don't have brain damage?" Terezi asked. "Why did you have strawberries in you fridge anyway, idiot?" Terezi asked. "Why didn't you throw them out?"

"Hey, there's no way in hell I would keep strawberries around," Dave said. "I must've forgot about them."

"Why didn't you just tell me?" Terezi asked.

Dave looked away.

"Well?" she pressed.

"I just didn't want to tell you," he muttered.

"You were embarrassed," Terezi stated.

Dave didn't respond.

"It's okay, Dave. Chill out. Everyone has something like that. I'm blind, you're allergic to strawberries, Tavros needs walking sticks, Gamzee always has to be stoned or else he throws people off of towers… We're all pretty fucked up," she listed.

Dave nodded slowly, sipping his chicken broth thoughtfully. "I guess I see where you're coming from. But still, don't tell anyone about the strawberries. It's both embarrassing and fucking weird."

Terezi giggled. "Sure thing, coolkid."

At a nearby restaurant, Nepeta was saying nearly the same thing.

"We've been doing pretty bad recently, Karkitty," she said.

"What do you mean?" Karkat asked, slightly nervously. Their relationship was fine.

"All of us. We've been screwed up. I mean, first there was the whole shipping wall thing, then the fight, then Gamzee got sober and pushed me," she gulped, "off a tower, then Vriska tried to commit suicide, I think, then the whole surgery thing, then this thing with Dave having some sort of allergic reaction, and all the crazy relationship stuff… We're sort of a screwed up group," Nepeta explained.

"I guess we are," Karkat agreed. "Terezi's blind, Tavros needs walking sticks…"

"We're all susceptible to Rose's psychoanalysis," Nepeta added, and they both laughed.

"Yeah, we're sort of crazy," Karkat agreed. "But I sort of like it like that, you know?"

"Yeah, It's sort of like, if it wasn't for all of this, we'd just be normal and boring," Nepeta articulated.

"Us two must be our own brand of crazy," Karkat said. "Falling for each other, then ignoring each other for years."

Nepeta laughed and blushed. She looked at her feet. She was wearing her favorite flats, her green coat, and her cleanest nice shorts and T-shirt. (Horticulture did not leave her with a lot of clean clothes.) Karkat was wearing his normal sweatshirt, straight-leg jeans, and gym shoes.

"We're probably as crazy as the people in the psych textbook," Nepeta joked back. They'd recently discovered they would be in psychology together soon. "I mean, I had to fall thirty feet for any of this to happen."

"But really, I wouldn't have had it any other way," Karkat said.

"Me neither," Nepeta said, just before they kissed.