The Unofficial Rules of Kiddy Grade

By: FunahoMisaki

(A/N: I own nothing and see last chapter.)

Never let Alv and Dvergr absorb Éclair's powers when any of them are on a sugar rush not unless we're in the middle of a war – Traumatized Eclipse.

51a. Sorry but we didn't know it was possibly for us to get hyper up by absorbing her powers while she was on a sugar rush! – Defensive Alv

Éclair I realize that because she's pregnant you don't want Chief Eclipse fighting, sparing, or doing anything that could be remote fully stressful or straining but did you really have to tie her down to her office couch with your lipstick? – Amused Tweedle Dee

52a. I don't think that's the worst they've done to that couch. – snickering Alv.

52b. …I'm not sitting on that couch ever again. – deadpanned Cesario.

52c. All of you shut up! Yes I did have to tie her down otherwise she would've stubbornly tried to do something that could risk harming her and/or the baby – red faced Éclair

52d. Natural reaction for any who's significant other is carrying a child. Alv's father refused to let me go anywhere, even around the house, without him and two other body guards to make sure I didn't do something that could possibly harm Alv. – nodding Dvergr

Mom I don't care if it's because you're proud of being my mom or another of your attempts at scaring away Tweedle Dee! Stop showing everyone my baby pictures! – embarrassed Alv

53a. It's because I'm proud of you and of being your mother Alv and I'll show them the baby pictures if I want to! You were absolutely adorable as a baby before your 'father' stole you from me and you can consider this payback if you want. – shrugging Dvergr

53b. Payback? – confused A-ou

53c. I carried her inside of me for more than eight months and then went through 11 hours and forty three minutes of labor before she finally decided to come out fully. I think I that gives me the right to show everyone the few baby pictures of her I actually have. – deadpanned Dvergr

53d. She's got a point actually. – nodding Éclair

53e. Okay she has a good excuse with labor and all but what's your excuse for showing everyone my baby pictures mother? – twitching Chevalia

53f. Two words son. Dirty Diapers

53g. …Carry on then – slamming head into desk Chevalia

I don't care if you two have seen the movies three hundred times and want to change it up for laughs Lumiere, Tweedle Dee! You two aren't allowed to change the outcome or plot of a movie, especially not in a movie theater with others watching! – Moody Eclipse

54a. Right now the smartest thing you two can do is shut up and do as she says – advised Dvergr

After that last time Éclair is no longer able to choose Un-oh's costume even if he asks her too. If she wants a say in it the costume must be judged by all other E.S. members as well! – twitching Eclipse

55a. Why's that? – curious Tweedle Dumb

55b. Because that girl you and Sinistra were flirting with in a café the other day was Un-oh undercover for an assignment. – snickering Éclair

55c. Alv is also no longer allowed to pick Un-oh costumes or disguises – amused Dvergr

55d. Thank you Dvergr! I don't need the Nouvlesse storming into my office wondering why one of my male E.S. members was dressed as a young school girl and waiting for them in their meeting room! – furious Eclipse

55e. But did you see their faces?! I swear even their ears were red! – snickering Un-oh

55f. And we have it all on camera! – cackling Éclair and Alv

For the love of whoever created the universe do not tell Éclair or Alv you can do anything they can do better! The construction workers are overworked enough fixing the mess the Twins made when drunk we don't need any contests of who can knock down the most buildings! That goes for everyone else too – fed up Eclipse after the forth contest

56a. Sorry Love- sheepish Éclair

Tweedle Dee I don't care if you sound almost exactly like that ninja girl or any other anime characters! No imitating them especially after that time where you gave one guy a heart attack because he thought you were the ninja! – Mood swinging Eclipse

57a. Sorry bout that Chief but Un-oh dared me…- sheepish Tweedle Dee

Un-oh knock off the Alice in Wonderland jokes already they aren't funny at all- twitching Tweedle Dee

58a. So says Tweedle Dee but what say Tweedle Dumb? Do you know where the White Queen is?- snickering Un-oh

58b. Tweedle Dumb says listen to Tweedle Dee and knock it off with the jokes before I knock you right into Wonderland! – snarling Tweedle Dumb

58c. I thought it was Underland…- confused Viola

58d. No that'd be if I killed him…which is very tempting right now – growling Tweedle Dumb

I don't care if you are my friend and co-worker! No dating my son and when the little one in Eclipse's stomach is born no dating her either! – protective Éclair

59a. Aww but Éclair your son is such good eye-candy and no worries about the baby I'm many things but I'm not a pedophile.- grinning Ricki

59b. I mean it Ricki no dating my son or else you and me will be having a little talk…using words like crucifixion for example. – glaring Éclair

Éclair I don't care if it's in the 'Christmas Spirit' you aren't allowed to dress Donner up as a Reindeer! – exasperated Lumiere

60a. She dressed Donner up as a Reindeer? – snickering Tweedle Dee

60b. Donner didn't mind and the kids on my block can't usually celebrate Christmas so I asked Donner if he would mind taking the kids on 'reindeer' rides.- Defensive Éclair

60c. Well I guess that's alright then…but no doing it for the heck of it! – sighing Lumiere

60d. That's actually a good idea Éclair. Perhaps everyone can get their Support AI's to dress up as Reindeer and give 'Reindeer' rides to kids that can't celebrate Christmas cause of things like money and all – nodding Eclipse

60e. Not a problem here. During her first Christmas Alv enjoyed riding in a sled down a snowy slope with me and riding on a Reindeer, which was actually just a Cyborg dressed up like a Reindeer, so I wouldn't mind taking other children to do those things if they can't afford or do them their selves. – fondly Dvergr

Only once a month is someone allowed to actually question whether or not Lumiere's 'Aged Grape Juice' is really Grape Juice or wine – snickering Eclair

61a. Usually because of how embarrassed she gets before the one who asked is forced to spend the rest of the month in the hospital for various injuries – cackling Alv

After that last Comic con disaster Un-oh is no longer allowed to attend them, not while dressed up at least. – exasperated Eclipse

62a. Not like I actually meant for them to mistake me for this 'Natsu' guy. – defensive Un-oh.

62b. It was hilarious though! We had talked Un-oh into dying his hair pink and dressed him up in the same outfit as the character and wham! He was running for his life from rabid fans, especially those dressed like Lucy, Lisanna, and Erza. –Laughing Éclair.

62c. Speaking of which Éclair. Next year you'll be going as Erza with Chief Eclipse as Lucy – grinning Tweedle Dee

62d. Let me guess not only do we match their appearances somewhat but that's also your favorite pairing from Fairy Tail – Éclair

62e. Yep! If it makes you feel better though I'll be dressing up as Mirajane while Alv dresses up as Levy since they're my second favorite couple from the anime – Giggling Tweedle Dee

62f. Umm can you two explain it for those of us that don't get the anime thing – confused Un-oh

62g. Don't worry Un-oh I've talked Chief Eclipse into letting you go to next years comic con although you'll be dressed up as Gray this time and A-ou has to go as Elfman. – snickering Éclair.

62h. You are a genius Éclair! That Yaoi pairing is hilarious! – Howling Tweedle Dee

What's 'Yaoi'? – confused Dextera

63a. Yaoi is what I caught you too doing in the elevator last week. – giggling Eclipse

63b. How long do mood swings usually last again? – wary Éclair

63c. It's different for every woman Éclair. My mother had mood swings from her second trimester on and I had mood swings from the seventh month until Alv was born. No telling how long Chief Eclipse's mood swings will last – Knowledgeable Dvergr

63d. Something wrong with my mood swings Éclair? –growling Eclipse

63e. No dear I was merely curious is all – sweating Éclair.

Chief I understand that you are clingy with Éclair because you are carrying her unborn child but you need to relax a little bit. – advised Dvergr

64a. Why's that? – curious Eclipse

64b. You're very nearly smothering Éclair with your clinginess and it's possible that you could drive her away with it – serious Dvergr

64c. She'd leave me and the baby? – Terrified Eclipse

64d. What?! No I wouldn't! Not even if my life depended on it would I ever leave you and the baby Eclipse! – soothing Éclair

64e. I said it was possible not that she would do it. – Explaining Dvergr

64f. You shouldn't have said it was possible to begin with! Now she's had a panic attack and nearly lost the baby because of it! It was only because of how quickly we got her to the hospital that she and the baby were both saved! – furious Éclair

If anyone does anything to upset my fiancée again I will maim them so badly they won't be recognizable before punting them straight into the depths of hell! She nearly died because of the panic attack Dvergrs words caused! –Protective Éclair

65a. I didn't mean to cause her to have a panic attack Éclair. I merely meant to try and tell her that she shouldn't be so smothering and clingy with you because it can have consequences. Trust me I know! – Defensive Dvergr

65b. Please calm down Éclair. Both me and the baby are fine. – worried Eclipse

65c. Yeah barely! You nearly died Eclipse as well as nearly lost the baby! – fretting Éclair

65d. I know that Éclair but please calm down. You're starting to scare me – whimpering Eclipse

Anytime Éclair goes into a protective rage it is to be noted that the only way that we have discovered that actually works in calming her down is Chief Eclipse starting to get scared of her fiancée – wary Mercredi

66a. That does not mean that it is a good idea to try and piss Éclair off simply because Chief is around. Nine times out of ten she won't stop Éclair if you're doing it on purpose…yes Un-oh I mean you – Deadpanned Tweedle Dee after Un-oh was sent to the emergency room again

Viola and Éclair are no longer allowed to go trick or treating together. Viola may only go if she is being escorted by a RESPONSIBLE adult, which means not Éclair, Alv, and/or Un-oh – twitching Eclipse

67a. I can be responsible! – Defensive Alv

67b. Only when it involves our job Alv otherwise you're just as irresponsible as the other two – snickering Dvergr

67c. That's better than Un-oh. Éclair however can be responsible when it comes to Chief and their baby – amused Tweedle Dee

Seeing as the baby has two mothers instead of a mother and a father do you all really need to ask what gender it is? – amused Eclipse

68a. I don't think they've bothered thinking about it like that though – smirking Dvergr

68b. I wasn't aware Un-oh could think – surprised Éclair

The next person to ask how Éclair got me pregnant when we're both girls is asking for a beating remember that well…Un-oh I'm looking very pointedly at you –deadpanned Eclipse

69a. How we did 'it' is none of anyone's business and Eclipse won't be the one that does the beating I will be so watch what you ask – glaring Éclair

Éclair as much as I love how overprotective and attentive you I am able to take care of myself. – amused Eclipse

70a. Nope I'm not going to stop being overprotective. You are three months pregnant with our child Eclipse. All I'm letting you do is sit at your desk and drink your tea as you give out orders or sign paperwork. I nearly lost you both once and I'm not going through that again – sincere Éclair

70b. As you said Éclair, Chief Eclipse is three months pregnant and any strenous activity could cause her to loose the baby…so please stop making her moan like that from within her office I don't want to know what's going on – blushing Mercredi

70c. I was merely giving her a foot massage since her ankles began to swell recently and it was hurting her feet – innocent Éclair

70d. Yeah I'm sure – rolling eyes Mercredi

If you hear moans or groans behind any door or anything then do not assume someone is hurt and investigate. Usually they aren't hurt and will be very angry at you for interrupting them – experienced Un-oh

71a. You walked in on Alv and sis again?! Didn't you learn your lesson the first time? – incredulous Tweedle Dumb

71b. If it helps I didn't see anything before Alv punched me in the eye and I heard her say 'ow' so I thought she was actually hurt this time – Defensive Un-oh

71c. Wait why were you saying 'ow' sis? – Protective Tweedle Dumb

71d. One don't call me sis while we're on the job and Two. I was fine Alv just got a little rough is all – Rolling eyes Tweedle Dee

71e. Sorry again about that Tweedle Dee. I hadn't realized my finger nails were so sharp – Apologetic Alv

71f. It's alright…I certainly didn't mind it – grinning Tweedle Dee

Once again keep all intimate chat off of the list! Un-oh has passed out due to blood loss three times already because of what you have written on the list – Twitching Dvergr

72a. And Mommy Dvergr doesn't want to read about her daughter doing those kinds of things does she? – teases Éclair

72b. Hell no – deadpanned Dvergr

It has been established that Dvergr is incredibly protective of her daughter so please stop doing stupid things in regards to Alv near Dvergr…once again Un-oh I'm looking at you – glaring Eclipse

73a. Wow Chiefy. You sure do change moods a lot lately. How come? – innocently Viola

73b. It's because of the baby Viola. The baby is unbalancing Eclipse's hormones, which makes her change moods often – Éclair

73c. So the baby is making Chiefy unbalanced? – confused Viola

73d. That's one way to put it – snickering Alv

Alv why exactly is Tweedle Dee muttering about you having to tell me something? – Curious Dvergr

74a. Well see mom the thing is…ah screw it I got nothin – nervous Alv

74b. Honestly Alv what's so difficult about telling Dvergr that she's going to be a grandma?! – confused Tweedle Dee

74c. Say what? – Dvergr

74d. Well I managed to get Tweedle Dee pregnant and since you're my mom that kinda makes you the baby's grandma…- sheepish Alv

Wow I think that's the first time I've ever seen Dvergr get mad at Alv – amused Un-oh

75a. I'm not mad, in fact I'm thrilled I'm going to have a grandchild to spoil rotten. I was only mad because Alv didn't think to use protection when engaging in those acts with Tweedle Dee until after they had gotten engaged at the least – Explained Dvergr

75b. you're telling me. I think my ears are still ringing…Oww – whined Alv