hello.

Wow, I'm sososo sorry about this being about three thousand years late. I goes I really had no idea what to do so…. And then the other day BAM inspiration struck and I would've had this posted a little sooner but my iPod has officially decided it hates my and I really can only write and check my email on it anymore and even this the apps quit all the time and it friggin sucks.

Aaaaaanyways… I'm not quite positive but this easily might be the last chapter! NOT SAYING IT IS, but unless someone gets me some ideas pronto, this thing will be over! (Probably with one last chapter but yah.

So… as always, sorry for my long absence, here you go, read on, don't take over sweden and please review!

"Tavros? Tavros, are you there?"
"Hey, Gam."
"Tav? Tav I can't see you. Oh, Tav, it's so dark!"
"Yeah, Gamzee. You're nearing your end." The mohawked boy watched the other fumble blindly, a pang of sadness shooting trough him at the sight. He was never supposed to see this.
"Tav, Tav don't leave me!"
"You're a bit of a selfish prick, you know."
"Tav? What do you mean?"
"All you can think about is yourself. Sure, you've had a rough go at it but think about Nepeta, about Karkat. They too lived through my leaving. They lived through your grief and never had time to deal with their own!"
"But Tav, I-"
"NO, GAMZEE! Listen to me, this may well be our last conversation. Not only did they live through your grief, but their own problems too. How many other bruises do you think Nepeta has? How many old ones, how many fresh cuts? You need to apologize to her, Gamzee. You've been an ass. You need to apologize to Equius- nobody deserves to be killed. You need to apologize to Karkat. Especially to Karkat. He loves you, Gamzee. More than you can ever imagine. Losing you hasn't been easy."
"I'm not lost, Tav, I'm just not ready to leave-"
"You've been asleep for a week now, I think. Gamzee, do you know what Karkat has been through in this week? I love you, Gamzee, I really do, but Karkat loves you more. And you've dragged him through some really deep shit recently."
"Karkat? Is he ok? Oh my god, is Karkat ok?"
"... No, Gamzee. He's not ok. He needs you to wake up. He needs Nepeta to wake up. He needs me to be alive too but that's obviously not happening. He needs you to hold him and kiss him and tell him it'll be all right. He needs your love, Gamzee, now more than ever. He needs to hear your apologies and he needs to see your smile, the one he loves so much but won't ever tell you. He needs you to tell him what you desperately need him to know, though you might not realize it."
"Tav, I... I don't know if I can."
"You have to, Gamzee."
"But Tav!"
"He'll hate you for not telling him."
"I'm afraid he'll hate me anyways."
"He'll hate you for not waking up, that's what."
Gamzee paused to consider this, then nodded.
"He would, wouldn't he."
"Yah, he would."
"I'm scared Tav, I don't want to lose you again."
"Neither does Karkat, you fucking idiot!" Tav shouted, exasperated. Gamzee stopped short, surprised. For some reason, this struck home far more than anything else the smaller boy had said. He paused, unsure what to say or how to say it. Finally, little whispered words filled the emptiness.
"Motherfuck. I need to get back."
"No shit," Tavros responded sarcastically.
"I'm really gonna miss you, brother," Gamzee said quietly.
"I know," Tav replied quietly, little smile playing upon his features. There was a glint on his cheeks, little tracks of wetness he ignored as he watched Gamzee squeezed his eyes shut, casting them both into darkness.

"GAMZEE! GOD FUCKING DAMN LET GO OF ME! THATS MY FRIEND!" Karkat screamed, struggling against the arms dragging him out of the room.
"CLEAR!"
A pale chest convulsed at the sudden electric shock.
He stared in horror at the flat line.
"Please, we need to get you out of-"
"JESUS FUCK LADY THAT IS MY GODDAMN FRIEND! PLEASE I NEED TO BE NEAR HIM HE'S MY FRIEND!"
"CLEAR!"
The sound of the horrifying green line cut through all else, filling his ears, stabbing into his brain. It seared into his mind, oozing into the dark corners, whispering "This is what death sounds like"

Karkat slumped into the nurse's arms, the sound overwhelming his senses.

"He's my friend," he found himself whispering, over and over and over. The words fell from his lips, quickly drowning in the surrounding commotion. He wasn't aware of the doctors preparing the next shock, of the harsh yells or the condoling voices. All he heard was that dead sound, so incredibly loud even once he was a room away.
He became aware, vaguely, of the arm around his shoulders. He looked up into the familiar bright green eyes of the kind-faced nurse. He saw her lips moving, speaking in some far-away world. What did it matter? Gamzee was dead.
Dead.
And that's when reality crashed back down in an explosion of sound and his own tears.
"-all right," she said comfortingly, letting him bury his face in her shoulder.
"He's my friend," he gulped brokenly, tears raining from his shut eyes. "My friend, my friend..."
"Karkat, it's all right. We needed you out of there." Karkat shook his head, refusing her words.
"It's not all right! He's dead, he's dead- I saw his heart stop. Jesus fuck he's dead." The nurse held him away from her, trying to catch his eye.
"Really Karkat, I would never lie about this-"
"Mr. Vantas?" Came a disembodied voice. "Mr Vantas, you can go back in now, we've stabilized him."
Karkat stared at the imposing male doctor in front of him. No, Gamzee was dead. He was sure of it. This was all just a trick, just some cruel, cruel trick life decided to play on him because he was weak, defenseless.
"This is not a trick," the female nurse- Jade, her name tag revealed- said. He realized he must have spoken aloud. "You aren't weak, you're so so strong. This is no trick, trust me."
She smiled, a small reassuring smile, one that bespoke of no evil intent. He allowed her to take his hand and stand him up, guiding him to the pristine room. He stopped in the doorframe, like he always did, and stared. There before him lay Gamzee, so still it was as if nothing had changed. The light streamed through the window, the crash cart and the doctors gone. It was picturesque, in a macabre sort of way.
Gamzee blinked, turned his head and croaked "Hey motherfucking best friend."
The picture shattered.
Karkat flung himself forwards with a cry, burying his face in Gamzee's neck. He found himself sobbing, but couldn't bring himself to care. His fingers gripped the standard-issue hospital dress, relishing in the very-much-alive warmth seeping through the thin fabric.
"G-Gamzee... Oh god Gamzee..." Karkat trailed off into uninteligable garble as his tears took over, his shoulders shaking uncontrollably. He felt the older boy's arms wrap around him feebly, loose but the most amazing thing he had felt in a long, long time.
"Karkat, Karbro I'm so motherfucking sorry," Gamzee rasped, struggling to form the words. "I'm so sorry, so, so sorry-"
Karkat placed a silencing kiss on the other boy's lips. He broke away, resting his forehead against Gamzee's.
"I love you, no matter what you do, for better or worse, Gamzee. Nothing is ever going to change that."
Gamzee choked back a sob, struggling for words. "It's why I need to apologize even more. You're my best bro, I couldn't had pulled through if it hadn't been for you. I love you, man, and I'm so sorry I put you through this shit."
Karkat grinned widely, placing another gentle kiss to his boyfriend's lips, lingering and sweet. It said everything neither could say outright. It promised of foreverness and no longer hiding in the shadows. It spoke of forgiveness, but not forgetfulness. It spoke of love beyond words, and of future smiles.
Unbeknownst to the two, Jade quietly clicked the door closed, a small smile on her features. She didn't know much about that boy, Karkat, but she did know that she no longer had to worry about him; he was going to be just fine.